Chapter 9: I'm Not Insane

Doctor Port sat at his desk, clicking around on his computer. Doctor Carr and he had had a meeting about their patients. His colleague said that Feliciano and Ludwig should not see each other and since this concerned his patient Doctor Port took it into his own hands to figure out why another patient was concerned about them. He clicked on the patient database and entered his administrative password and opened Felicianos profile. He has seen it before, but maybe there was something else there he had misinterpreted or missed.

He scrolled down Felicianos profile. No, everything was just as he remember. Very clear on everything, no warnings other than his brain chemistry and the recent note that he should be separated from Ludwig (a forewarning by a patient) was written beside it. Maybe Feliciano should be moved to level four as a precaution? No, there was no good reason. The murder was between Arthur and Francis. Arthur had spilled blood, not Feliciano. The Italian had expressed any warning signs that signified he required level 4 incarceration. Doctor Port clicked out of Felicianos profile and searched Ludwigs.

Doctor Port had never seen Ludwigs. This was his first time viewing it. There was the little note just like on Felicianos profile. The warning that said to keep them apart. But on Ludwigs there was something before that.

Ludwig has suffered the loss of his brother, causing his aggression to worsen.

It was only after he lost his brother did Ludwig become more aggressive and need medical attention so others wouldn't get hurt. Doctor Port found this interesting. He made a note on his notepad.

So far Ludwig and Feliciano were getting along just fine. They both avoided trigger topics and were therefore becoming good friends. In fact Feliciano was calling Ludwig his best friend already. Doctor Port would have to discuss their backgrounds with each other so they knew what they were dealing with, something he needed approval from Doctor Edelstein first that is. He also wrote this down on his notepad. The doctor closed out of the Patient Database System and locked his computer with a new encrypted password. There had been a recent hacking into the system and therefore all passwords had to be changed. He stood up and began walking down the halls towards his patients to check up on him.

He met Doctor Carr in the elevator.

"Good afternoon doctor." He greeted as he stepped inside and pressed a button.

"Good afternoon Doctor Port." His colleague replied. "Where are you off to? Feliciano?" he asked with a raised brow. Doctor Port nodded while the elevator rose.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Are you off to see Arthur?" he smiled politely.

"Yes, he should be waking up soon and I would like to be there when he wakes up." He sighed heavily. "Seeing as he will be confused as to where he is, I'm very upset. He was doing so well and now . . ." he shrugged. Doctor Port patted his back empathetically.

"Well as long as he has you, I'm sure he will do fine." He said, trying to lift his spirits a bit. Doctor Carr laughed.

"I hope so."

The elevator bell rang and Doctor Port nodded.

"Well this is my stop, good luck with Arthur." He said and held his hand out. Doctor Carr smiled and shook his hand.

"Thank you. I shall see you soon hopefully regarding our patients, correct?" he asked.

"Of course." Doctor Port smiled, not mentioning he had already gathered some information. He was going to do a bit more researching before approaching him about the matter. He waved goodbye to his colleague and walked down the hallways.

Doctor Carr sighed as the elevator doors closed and ascended once more.

Whispers and murmurs echoed in the darkness, not making coherent words or sentences. They felt like they were words on the wind with how gentle and smooth they sounded. Arthur was used to these voices. They were the harmless ones he didn't pay mind to.

Arthur. The whisper echoed around in his head. But his name was the only thing he could decipher from the gentle chaos of voices that streamed through his mind. It was like a stadium of whispering people.

Arthur~

NO! Arthur couldn't move. He was stuck in this darkness, alone with his voices, alone with this voice.

Arthur, love, you don't have to be afraid!

Stay away. The other voices echoed, trying to keep the loud, strong one away. Be quiet. But their quiet voices couldn't do much.

I will do whatever I please. The Voice said smugly. Arthur you did it! Oh you finally achieved it~! He sounded so proud, like the father whose son just got accepted to an Ivy League school.

What did I do? Arthur asked the Voice. He was so confused. He didn't remember doing anything significant.

You reached the pinnacle of madness~! With my help of course, you can't leave me out of it! I say we do make a bloody brilliant duo! Pun intended~! The Voice laughed gleefully obviously quite happy with them.

I – I don't understand? Arthur questioned.

Don't listen to him. The quiet voices skimmed over his mind, having to repeat themselves and echo several times before Arthur could understand what they were saying. It's not true. They sounded so weak compared to the Voice.

Oh look at how cute they are! Thinking they can feed lies to you. He tsked unapprovingly. I am the truth Arthur. Those are lies trying to make a little puppet out of you. But I am here to make you realize just what you really are.

And . . . what . . . am I? Arthur asked hesitantly, not sure if he wanted the answer. The Voice made his body feel cold and the other voices disappeared.

Insane.

Arthur woke up with a gasping shudder, eyes snapping open, hands clutching the sheets. He breathed heavily as if he just sprinted a marathon, his body covered in cold sweat. Where was he? This wasn't his room. His emerald eyes glanced around the room.

Nothing.

There was literally nothing in this room but the bed he laid on and medical equipment attached to the wall behind him. No shelves, no desk, no drawers. Not even posters on the wall.

There was a sink and an open toilet.

That's it.

Arthur began panicking, his heart pounding inside of his chest. He tried to sit up but then realize there were restraints on him. Across his chest, abdomen, thighs, and shins, they were around his forearms, wrists, and ankles attaching him to the bed and not leaving him room to move.

"MINT BUNNY!" he screamed in a panick. "MINT BUNNY WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS HAPPENING?" he began crying and breathing far too fast. "HELP ME!" he cried desperately.

"Arthur!" a voice crackled through the speaker near the door on the wall. Arthur turned towards it, still crying and hyperventilating. "Doctor Carr?" he smiled weakly and swallowed. "Doctor Carr what's happening?" he asked nervously. There were so many emotions going through him right now: confusion, fright, pain, paranoia. Yes paranoia was exactly what he was feeling.

The doors clicked and slid and Doctor Carr appeared between the two doors leading into his room. He stopped in the small room in between and frowned.

"Arthur how are you feeling?"

"Scared." Arthur replied quickly. "What's going on Doctor Carr?" he asked, wanting answers to why he wasn't in his room and why he was in restraints.

Dr. Carr sighed and swiped his I.D. card to get into the room Arthur was in.

"First you need to slow your breathing down or you're going to pass out. You are in a state of panic which is causing you to hyperventilate." The doctor said calmly. Arthurs breath hitched as he tried to slow it down. He took longer breaths and let them leak out slowly but sometimes his breath sped up again and he had to try harder. "In through your nose and out through your mouth, Arthur." The Brit nodded and followed his instructions. His doctor patiently waited for him to regain his breathing. Once his patient had calmed down he propped his clipboard on his knee.

"Arthur can you please explain to me what just occurred to make you panic like this?" he asked gently. Arthur bit his lip.

"I was hearing my normal voices," he started, knowing that his doctor knew about the small, whispery ones, "they were just saying my name. But then that Voice. That scary one started talking to me."

"Can you tell its gender?"

Arthur nodded his head.

"Male. Definitely Male."

"The same voice you have been hearing for a few days now, then?"

"Yes."

Dr. Carr took note on his clipboard.

"What was he saying to you, Arthur?"

The blonde hesitated and disconnected their eye contact. He didn't want to tell his doctor because he didn't want it confirmed. The leather restraints were all enough proof to show him just how insane he really was, not to mention just how plain the room was.

"Arthur." His doctor prodded gently for an answer.

"He . . ." he was very reluctant to tell him the answer, but he knew he must if he wanted to get better, "he told me I was . . . insane." He whispered.

The silence that came after that was very painful to Arthur. Mostly because of the tension that Doctor Carr emanated was painfully obvious.

"Well, Arthur," Doctor Carr began, "right now you're state of mind is being analyzed right now to see what is going on. Do you recognize what floor you are on right now?" he asked.

"Yes." Arthur unwillingly told him. He knew which level he was on. Not only did the plain walls and restraints tell him, but so did the bright pink band around both wrists. Arthur Kirkland was finally admitted to the Fourth Floor, the level for the truly insane.

It's where you belong. Arthur gasped and his body became numb.

"I'm sorry Arthur, but for the time being it's where you belong." Doctor Carr said. Arthur's entire body wilted in anguish.

"But I'm not insane." The Brit began crying looking down at the restraints on his wrists. "I swear I'm not." He cried, tears dripped down his cheeks and onto his lap, creating dark spots on his sheets.

Oh you're not that insane.

"What was that?" Dr. Carr quickly leaned forward. Arthur looked up at him, confused.

"I'm not insane?" He repeated. The doctor furrowed his eyebrows.

"No after that." He replied. "You said something after that, I just didn't hear it." Or at least his lips moved.

You're right Arthur, you're not insane. It's me that has you all riled up~. He was teasing him now.

"What are you saying?" Dr. Carr asked anxiously. His patients lips were moving but no sound was coming out. His eyes also glazed over when it happened.

"I'm not insane." Arthur repeated quietly, a sense of calmness washing over him. "I just like to kill." His lips said. The silence afterwards was brief where his doctors eyes widened and he took in what he just said. The Brit gasped, horrified. "NO! NO I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT!" he began sobbing as Doctor Carr reluctantly wrote down what had just happened. "PLEASE NO I SWEAR I'M NOT INSANE!" his body shook as he violently cried, tears staining his face. The Voice began cackling maniacally in the back of his mind, getting louder and louder with every passing second. Arthur screamed and arched backwards into the bed. "BE QUIET BE QUIET SHUT UP GO AWAY SHUT UP!" he screamed and writhed in agony. If he had his arms he would be clutching them to his head, but they were still in the restraints. He tried to pull them free but the leather just dug into his wrist, chaffing them a bright pink.

Doctor Carr suddenly stood up and gave him a frightened look, backing away.

Arthur didn't realize why until he noticed that the laughing he heard was actually coming from him and for once the Voice wasn't making him do it.

Hey guys! Sorry for late update! I swear I didn't forget about this! School finally ended so I have extra time to write! Thank you for reading and sticking around! Some of you have made correct guesses on their conditions and some are so close! In any case please comment on how this chapter made you feel and keep guessing!

In case you didn't know I am on AO3 as shingeki_no_hetalia where I have more stories posted! Please check out my profile! Thank you again and have a nice day!