Katherine
It is a dream. Warmth and safety wrap themselves around me and hold on tightly. Light colours the scenario and I have never felt so content. It is an unfamiliar but at the same time familiar feeling. I don't want to wake and lose this feeling. Yet, I awaken by a fearth touch on my cheek that trails up to my hair.
"I know you are awake." A voice calls.
Sleeply, I open my eyes and realise my pillow is an aminated object. A human chest. I tilt back my head and Peter is looking at me, loveling. I desintangle myself from him and get out of the bed as fast as an eagle. In the process of separating our bodies, I must have pushed him because his face appears on the other side of the bed.
"What do you think you are doing?" I shout. "Are you out of your mind? I'm not a whore you find in a dark alley!"
"Morning." He says, sleeply.
"Is this a game?" I order. "You won't regain my trust with actions like these!"
"I don't understand." He stands up and sits on the bed. "What are you talking about?"
"I told you no touching! And you broke my promise!" I grab my pillow and fling it at him, strongly. "Stupid!"
"You moved during the night! I didn't want to disturb your rest." He excuses himself. "Excuse my words, but are you so obvithat you did not notice what was happening?"
"Are you saying I'm dumb?" I ask him, surprised and furious.
"No. Katherine, I-"
"Shut up!" I grab my shirt and walk to the door. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Where are you going?"
"Downstairs." I open and close the door, ignoring his words.
The room is empty, despite being an hour after sunrise. However, a fire is burning and a cauldron is cooking over the fire. I realise I forgot my boots. I don't want to go back and face Peter. He is making me do and feel things. I want to hate him so badly, but a very small part of me wants to forgive him and make him stay. I want his comfort and the safety he brings into my somber life. I don't need anyone!
"Katherine."
I'm startled by his voice. He stands by the last step of the staircase.
"I don't want to talk!" I look back at the fire.
"I want." He comes closer and stops beside me. "I know I wasn't there when you ran away, but, in a way, you also didn't tell me you ran away. The letters are a sore matter. Nevertheless, we need to talk about them."
"I'm not ready." I watch as the fire dances, the flames molding to the shape of the cauldron. "I just want to be left alone."
"You really don't want to be alone, Katherine." He grabs my hand and hold it between his two. It feels to good to snatch my hand from his hold.
I sigh and look at him. I want to be alone. I don't want to talk; I don't want to give any satisfactions to any one. I just want to be alone with my thoughts and life problems.
"I do." I snatch my hand from his hold. "We should leave right away. Gale must be looking for me."
We go upstairs to the room and get ready to leave. Peter doesn't ask anything about Gale after we leave the inn. I'm glad he doesn't ask, because I'm not in the mood to talk about Gale and the strange relationship we have. The day is clear and the sky is still painted in light yellows and dark blues.
"Hey!"
I glance to my left and see Gale walking towards me. Out of nowhere, Peter blocks Gale's path and they are face to face, each expression worse than the other.
"I would like you to leave." Peter's voice is deep and threatning.
"What are you? Her knight?" Gale shoots, angrily. "Step away. I'm not afraid to harm you."
I notice Peter placing his hand on the hilt of his sword.
"Stop." I place my hand on his, preventing him from unsheading the sword. I step in front of him, Gale taking a few steps back. "What do you want, Gale?"
He laughs, sarcastically. "What kind of question is that? You know I want the truth!"
"There is nothing left to say." I say, bitterly. "I owe nothing."
"You owe me the truth! I let a stranger inside my house, around my family." He says, furious. "I deserve the truth. Who are you?"
"I am-"
"You are not Katniss! Tell me!" He explodes and I know he wants to wrap his hands around my neck. "Who are you really?"
"Katniss."
"Bullshit! He called you Katherine!" Gale points at Peter, his finger like a pointy nail coming in contact with a wall. "He knows you and you don't call him out on his mistake! I want an answer!"
Not hesitating, I punch him, feeling the bone of his nose crack under my knuckles. Peter grabs my hand before I do worse.
"You don't want an answer! You don't want anything from me!"
Gale clutches his broken and bloody nose as he stares menacingly at me.
"Don't you dare come looking for me again. I'll do worse than a broken nose!" I warn him and walk away, Peter trailing behind.
Even if he decides to come looking for me, I'll be waiting. I'm always waiting for people to kill me. My life is a game of waiting. I hate my life. I loathe it. Sometimes, I want to dig a hole and hid inside it and let the earth finish me. The bugs eat my flesh, my bones and my soul. I'm an empty vessel, wanting to vanish forever.
I don't want to be a princess or a ruler. I want to be alone. I want freedom. How am I suppose to reign a kingdom? My mind is, like some people say, fucked up.
After five minutes of silence, Peter speaks out.
"Katherine."
"What?" I snap, stopping in the middle of the road. "Do you want to make me feel better? To protect me from the world? Tell me! What are you going to do, Peter!"
His blue eyes awaken a desire to succumb to the ground and cry myself to sleep as I scream profanities. He doesn't say anything and we resume our walk. The sun is at its highest point when we leave the outskirts of Alighter.
"We need to make good time before the sun sets. I want to find a good resting place."
"Where do you want to go from here?"
"Back to Dawsun. I know someone there."
Peter clears his throat and stops me. "I have to tell you something."
"What?"
"You can't go back to Dawsun. There isn't any one there." He scratches his neck, his voice losing its joy.
"I don't understand." I have a bad feeling about what he is talking about.
"The man, he - he is dead."
...
Peter
Her face loses some of its colour and she stumbles a bit. I grab her elbow before she falls.
"Are you alright?"
"I don't believe it." She glances at me, her glassy eyes full of fear and disbelieve. "How - how is that even possible?"
"I was there when he died."
"What?" She steps away from me. "How do you know him? I never talked about him!"
"I met him five days ago." I say and her eyes turn from disbelieve to anger. "I suspected him to have a connection to you. I asked him for informations, but he refused to give them to me. I came back the next day. One the third day, I found him. An unnatural being was killing him and... Everything happened so quick. The next minute, he was on the floor with a wound on his stomach. He told where to find you."
She stares dumbfound at me. She wants me to deny what happened. I wish I could.
"I don't know in what to believe anymore."
"I'm sorry."
"Of course you are sorry." She mocks herself. "You are sorry of the poor, orphan girl I am. You pity her and all the bad aspects of her life."
"Don't say that. If I could, I would have saved him."
"You can't." Her eyes melt away the fury and they look dull. "At least, I don't have to worry about him any more."
I thought she cared for him. I knew he cared for her, like a father cares for a daughter. I sensed trust. However, she is so different. I don't recognize this shell of a girl in front of me. She is no longer the shy and quiet girl with a fire raging inside. She is just anger.
"We should separate."
"What?" I blink and focus on her. "Are you serious? No!"
"Don't make this harder." She pleads. "Haymitch is dead, because of me. You will-"
"Why do you blame yourself?"
"He is dead! I caused his death! My presence in his house led Coin to him." She says. "I don't want the same happening to you."
"I won't die."
"Please, go back to Baluster." She says, so easily. It is so easy to go back and leave her on her own.
"And forget you?" I could never do that.
"Yes."
"The reason I sided with the queen was to find you. I want to take you back to Baluster where you are safer." I say. She looks down. "I thought it would be easy. Yet, I was daydreaming. Three years did a work on you. I can't reverse the time, but I can still protect you from what is to come."
She glances up at me. "You can't protect me."
She looked so peaceful this morning with her head on my chest. She stripped away her worries and let herself have a moment of peace.
"I can and I will."
She nods, not believe in my promise, and we resume our path.
I clarify some aspects in the next chapters, if you are confused with some mentioned in this chapter. Also, Katniss is angry with Peeta but don't worry because that will change in the chapters to come.