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The Potter Twins and the Sorcerer's Stone:

Chapter Nine: Of Pigs and Arguments

The next morning Hermione got up on the wrong side of the bed…literally.

Normally she slid off the right side of her four-post, straight into her fluffy slippers. Today she was bleary eyed as she tumbled off the left side, landing on a pile of Chrys' stuff.

"This is why cleaning is important!" She lectured as she pulled bits of a broken quill out of her hair.

"Yes, Hermione," Chrys yawned. Though Chrys thought being so messy while owning so few possessions must be an impressive talent.

"Ooh you two have got some awful dark circles… and bags," Lavender commented, holding up a mirror and gesturing at their eyes.

"There's a potion for that, I think," Parvati added.

"Hmmm…" Chrys muttered distractedly. Hermione had somehow gotten dressed at super-speed.

"Chrys, come down to breakfast early with me," she ordered as she laced up her shoes. "We've got to talk about last night," she continued in a hushed voice, as the two of them walked down the stairs.

"Well, I do feel bad that you and Neville got caught up it all, but I don't think it was necessarily my fault."

Hermione sighed. "I suppose you're right, but that doesn't excuse your brother or Ronald. The whole catastrophe could have been prevented if they thought things through and followed the rules."

"Sometimes there isn't enough time to think things through," Chrys argued. "And actually, it was kind of fun running around the school at night. Anyway, we didn't get caught, so your precious house cup isn't in jeopardy."

"Thinking like that makes you one small step away from becoming a delinquent," Hermione warned. "I can't blame you for what happened, but I do think it was a disgusting business and I'm happy to see the end of it."

On the flipside, Harry and Ron were pleased and eager for more. At breakfast they traded theories on what the dog could be guarding.

"All we know for sure, is that the object is about this big," Harry said, holding his hands a small way apart to demonstrate.

"You mean the paper bag was about that big…whatever was inside could've been even smaller," Chrys reasoned.

Ron rubbed his chin. "Either way we need to find some more clues."

On the other side of the table Neville was struggling to reach the sugar. Chrys leaned over and passed it to him. He thanked her and then frowned.

"Are they still going on about that dog?" He wondered. Chrys nodded hesitantly. Neville shivered. "Out of mind and out of sight is what my nan always says."

Hermione crossed her arms and glared at the cloudy ceiling. "Tell your brother and Ronald that I will not be speaking to them until they apologize and drop this nonsense."

"Er…okay Hermione, I'll tell them." So she did, and they responded by jumping up and high-fiving each other. "Harry…" Chrys muttered disappointingly. "Hermione is my friend."

Harry smiled apologetically. "I don't hate her or anything, but you have to admit she bosses people around a bit."

"A bit?" Ron shook his head. "That's putting it lightly. She a complete know-it-all. I say good riddance."

"Boys," Chrys grumbled, though secretly she knew they had a point.

"By the way," Ron said, perking up even more. "Did you see the look on Malfoy's face when we turned up for breakfast? He expected us to be thrown out on our arses. Must have been a nasty shock to see we were still around."

Harry nodded. "Now if only we could get him back somehow."

"I'm sure we'll think of something," Chrys said, rubbing her hands together gleefully.

However, with Hermione not speaking to the boys, Chrys was struggling to not take sides, which left her little time to plan revenge.

Conveniently, payback arrived a week later by owl post.

Harry blinked in confusion several owls swooped down and placed a slender package in front of him. Ron was clearly curious, and went to unwrap it immediately, but Chrys stopped him.

She had opened the note first, which told her what was inside the mysterious wrappings, and instructions for opening it. Harry and Ron quickly read the note, ecstatic smiles spreading over their faces. Harry scrambled to his feet, carrying the package out through the door.

Ron whooped and snatched it from him. "Let's open it up!" He said, sprinting up the stairs two at a time. "Come on! To the common room!" He raised it up above his head, and promptly got it stolen away by Malfoy. Harry frowned and tried to get it back, but Crabbe and Goyle blocked him.

Malfoy seemed to guess at what was inside, and immediately looked jealous. He tried to hide his feelings by reminding Harry that first years weren't allowed to have broomsticks, so Harry would finally be expelled.

Chrys snuck around Crabbe's back, while Ron distracted them by telling them exactly what make and model of broom this was. She grabbed it back when they became slack-jawed in shock. Ron hazarded that Malfoy probably had an inferior broom at home. This seemed to hit the bull's eye.

Malfoy spluttered and said that at least he could afford a good broomstick—he doubted the Weasleys could.

Ron scowled, but Chrys quickly jumped in, waving at someone coming up behind Malfoy. "Why hello, Professor Flitwick!" She said cheerfully. The Syltherins spun around in surprise.

"Hello, Miss Potter," Professor Flitwick returned her greeting with a little grin. Then he glanced between Malfoy and Ron. He said he hoped they weren't arguing.

Malfoy immediately tattled on Harry.

Professor Flitwick just continued smiling, nodding to himself and telling them that Professor McGonagall had explained the special circumstances to him. He wondered curiously what model Harry had received.

Harry told him, cheekily thanking Malfoy for helping things happen this way.

Then Harry and Ron practically skipped up the stairs, laughing hilariously as Malfoy muttered darkly under his breath.

Harry reminded Ron that Malfoy had been the one who'd stolen Neville's Remembrall in the first place, which resulted in Harry getting on the team, which lead to Harry getting this beautiful new broomstick—

Hermione was standing in the portrait hole, arms crossed, cheeks puffed out in frustration. She did not approve of them getting a reward for breaking the rules.

Harry reminded her that she wasn't supposed to be speaking to them. Ron told her he much preferred when she kept silent, which made Hermione huff and stomp away.

Chrys felt bad. "Maybe I should go and talk to her," she mumbled. Ron shook his head.

"Na, just give her some space and she'll cool down eventually," he figured. "Anyway, she's not angry with you, right?" Chrys nodded hesitantly. "Then you'll be fine. Come on, Harry, let's get a look at that broom."

Chrys caught sight of Ron's watch. "We better go," she said, "Or else we'll be late for first period."

"Oh Chrys, don't be a downer, let's just—"

"No, she's right," Harry sighed. Ron looked like a dejected puppy. Harry patted him on the shoulder. "We can open it later, that'll give us something to look forward to."

"Thanks for letting me get to class on time," Chrys whispered, as Ron made a show of walking down the stairs as slowly as possible.

"No problem," Harry replied. "I know you've been worried about Hermione getting on your case." Chrys winced.

"Yeah. Hermione was the first friend I ever made on my own. You know, I think Ron likes me alright…"

"I'm sure he does."

"But he liked you first," Chrys finished.

"Ah. I get it. Don't worry, you and Hermione will be fine."

And Harry was right.

Once Chrys got used to having two close friends who hated each other, she became quite adept at splitting her time between the two of them.

Meanwhile Harry had started his secret Quidditch training. His building Quidditch obsession was welcomed wholeheartedly by Ron, but no matter how Harry gushed about the rush he felt when flying, Chrys refused to get on a broom. So Harry and Ron, ate, slept and breathed Quidditch while Chrys spent a lot more time studying than she would have liked.

Still, there were benefits of this. As Harry and Ron were busy, they had no problem leaving Chrys to spend time studying with Hermione. Hermione was a lot more cheerful when she studied, especially now that Ron practically ran in the opposite direction whenever Chrys mentioned the homework.

Another benefit was that, by the time Halloween came around, Chrys had solidified her place as second in the year.

This annoyed Malfoy to no end, as he was only in third place. He and Chrys occasionally leveled out into a tie, but no matter how hard he tried, the Slytherin bully could not best Hermione.

Chrys considered this an added advantage. Surprisingly Hermione did not argue. After what he did to Chrys, Hermione loathed Malfoy almost as much as Harry did. Getting better grades than him was within the confines of the rules, so it was deemed an appropriate form of revenge.

The newfound motivation to study combined with the new exciting topics they were moving on to, made school a bit more fun in Chrys' eyes.

She chatted excitedly with Hermione as they sat down for charms. In fact, many people were looking forward to this class, which put Hermione in a fairly good mood. "I'm glad to see the rest of our house is finally taking an interest in academics," Hermione said superiorly.

Chrys didn't tell her that this was probably only because people enjoyed watching Professor Flitwick making Trevor the toad fly around the room.

"Now," Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Today we have a special lesson." A few people cheered. "We will be learning the Wingardium Leviosa charm, which is of course, great fun," he winked, "But it can also be quite disastrous when the movements and or pronunciation are incorrect." Then he showed them all the correct way to swish their wand, and what parts of the word to put emphasis on. Hermione was listening intently, but many students were otherwise preoccupied. Neville was trying to whisper something to Harry, Lavender was combing her hair, and Ron was sharing a joke with Seamus. "Now, let me split you up into pairs so that we can begin practicing…"

Chrys waved goodbye to Hermione and went to sit next to Neville. "Hi Nev, how long do you think it'll take for them to start screaming at each other?" She gestured at Ron and Hermione, who'd had the massive misfortune to be put together for this assignment.

Neville winced. "Maybe they'll get along today?" He said, over optimistically in Chrys' opinion.

Dean, who was waiting for Parvati to come back from the restroom, shook his head in exasperation. "I'd like to think that Neville, but the day those two get along is the day pigs fly."

"Then I'll just have to find a pig and cast this spell on it," Chrys joked. Dean and Neville laughed. Chrys sighed. Honestly though, she'd love for her friends to get along with each other.

Though, as she watched them, she thought this might be too much to hope for. Hermione had made herself the center of attention be the first to complete the spell, while Ron sulked in her shadow.

Then Seamus caused a slight diversion by setting himself on fire. "There he goes again," Dean said, half-amused and half-worried.

"It's okay," Chrys told him. "Harry's putting it out with his hat."

"And at least his eyebrows are still intact this time," Dean noted. Neville poked his feather in a bored sort of way.

"Concentrate Neville, you can do it…"

By the end of class, Chrys had successfully made her feather float into the air. She thought Neville had almost gotten it as well, but he spazzed out at the last moment, making it shot up into the air and get stuck somewhere in the candelabra.

"I'm sure you'll get it next time," Chrys told him, looking around to see where Hermione had gotten to. She spotted Harry and Ron instead, and rushed over to meet them. As she got closer she heard what Ron was saying.

"It's no wonder no one likes her. She's a nightmare, honestly."

Chrys felt red hot with anger.

What's worse this was the exact moment Hermione showed up, sprinting past them, tears flying from her eyes. Harry quietly pointed her out to Ron, Chrys slapped him over the back of the head, but Ron just said, "Come on Chrys, it's no wonder why you're her only friend."

"Well it's a wonder that I'm still friends with you!" Chrys hissed, going after Hermione.

Chrys' chest felt tight. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to Hermione when she found her…but that was beside the point, she couldn't find Hermione anywhere.

Just then Parvati came out of the bathroom, frowning and clutching her stomach. "Alright, Parvati?" Chrys asked, just realizing she hadn't seen her roommate since the beginning of Charms.

"What?" Parvati looked up in surprise. She flushed lightly. "Well, yes…it just… I've got really bad cramps." She made a face.

"Oh…" Chrys trailed off awkwardly. They stood there for a moment, pointedly not looking at each other. "I don't suppose you've seen Hermione?"

"Actually, I have." Parvati sounded concerned. "She came in, shut herself in a stall and has been crying ever since. I tried to talk to her, but she told me to go away. Maybe you'll have more luck?"

"I hope so," Chrys said, steeling herself for the difficult conversation. "Can you tell Harry I'll be back in class as soon as possible?" Parvati nodded. Chrys stepped inside the bathroom.

The sobs echoed off the walls. Her footsteps mingled with the sound as Chrys got closer to the stall with two socked ankles showing through the bottom.

"P-Parvati?" Hermione called out between gulps. "I t-told you to g-go away!"

"It's me," Chrys said quietly. Hermione's cries paused for a minute. Then the door swung open. Hermione looked horrible. She stood in front of the toilet, rubbing her red eyes frantically, as snot dripped out of her nostrils and her lips quivered. Hermione stumbled forward and allowed Chrys to cuddle her close. Chrys rubbed her back, not knowing what else to do. Slowly, Hermione's breathing regulated, and the aching screeches dwindled down.

"How can you be his friend?" She finally asked, her voice still shaking slightly. Chrys pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I asked myself the same question," Chrys admitted. "But he's just Ron. He's an idiot."

"That's not an excuse!" Hermione said fiercely. She sat up, untangling herself from Chrys. "Having a brain the size of a pea is not an excuse for being cruel…" Chrys frowned, feeling a little defensive, despite the situation. Sure Ron was an idiot when it came to emotions and subtleties, but he was intelligent in his own special way. "You know," Hermione started up again, closing her eyes painfully. "He reminds me of the boys who used to laugh at me in school. They pulled my hair, and threw my books across the room…and eventually it got so bad that my parents made me switch schools…but wherever I went it was pretty much the same, and being in so many schools only made it that much harder to make friends. I was so lonely. My parents considered home schooling, or moving to a new neighborhood, but then they would have to give up their dental practice, and I didn't want to be the cause of our financial support collapsing…I thought I could stick it out in one of the schools, maybe even try and graduate early…" Hermione smiled tearfully. "But then Professor McGonagall came to see us, and she told me that I was special and there was a place where I belonged…and for a moment I believed her."

"You do belong here," Chrys said hurriedly. "You're doing great. You're at the top of the class, and if anyone tries to throw your books I'll wingardum leviosa them up to the ceiling!"

Hermione choked out a laugh. Or was it another sob? "Thanks, but no thanks," she sighed, opening her eyes. "Maybe Ronald Weasley is right…maybe I'm not cut out for this friendship business."

"No, but you're a terrific friend." Chrys bit her lip, wondering how to convince Hermione that Ron was so far from right, that it was laughable.

"I'm not," Hermione said hollowly. "Here I am, stuck in the bathroom, dumping all my problems on you, making it awkward with one of your other friends—oh and now I've made you later for the next class!"

"I don't care. I'll sit here with you all day, if you want me to," Chrys said firmly.
Hermione stared at her. The slightest of a smile twitched at her lips. "No need…why don't you go to class and take enough notes for the both of us? I'll try to come out when I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" Chrys was hesitant, but she knew how important attendance and notes were to Hermione. If Hermione was too upset to keep up her perfect streak, then Chrys had no right to force her to face the others. Hermione nodded. "Okay then." Chrys stood up and dusted off her butt. "But if you're not out by the time the feast starts, then I'm sneaking some pumpkin pasties back to you. No friend of mine is going hungry if I can help it."

When Chrys got back to class she focused hard on taking notes, completely ignoring Ron's scowl and Harry's worried glances.

The three of them grew steadily more flustered as the day went on, until they were ready to burst.

Chrys kicked Ron's shin.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"You know very well what that was for," Chrys grumbled. "You should apologize to Hermione! She's really banged up by what you said."

Ron tilted his head to the side, his mouth opening slight. Then they entered the Great Hall and he caught sight of the decorations. "Wow!" He lit up right away, all thoughts of apologizing flying from his mind. Harry was tugging on Chrys' sleeve, bouncing up and down as he pointed out the real live bats, and talking jack-o-lanterns.

"Harry," Chrys said, gripping his arm.

"Isn't it amazing?" Harry said breathlessly.

"Yeah, spectacular, but right now I'm more concerned about Hermione." They sat down at the Gryffindor table.

Harry was unable to keep a smile from his face as the plates were suddenly filled with a magnificent feast. "I think Ron feels worse about it than he looks," Harry tried to reassure her as Ron cheered and startled shoveling food onto his plate.

"He'd better," Chrys sighed. "If he doesn't, I don't know what—"

She was promptly interrupted the screech of the Great Hall doors opening as Professor Quirrell ran between the tables, shrieking about a troll in the dungeons.

For a moment Chrys thought it was some sort of holiday themed prank. Then the screaming and chaos began. Students stood up and started scrambling fearfully towards the doors, nearly trampling poor Quirrell, who had passed out in the middle of the hall.

Professor Dumbledore brought things to a standstill by shooting purple sparkles into the air.

He told the prefects to take the students back to their dorms. Percy jumped up and started calling out orders immediately.

Harry was shocked into silence. Ron was thinking along the same lines as Chrys, wondering if Peeves had let the troll in as a joke.

Chrys shrugged. "I don't think so. Magical creatures are somewhat of an interest to me, and from what I've read about trolls I don't think they—"

"Shush," Harry cut her off, throwing a hand over her mouth. "You're rambling."

"Yeah, you sound like Hermione," Ron added. "Just let Percy—"

"Hermione!" Harry and Chrys hissed in a terrified unison.

"What?" Ron frowned.

"She's still shut up in the bathroom!" Chrys said. She bit her lip so hard she tasted blood.

"She doesn't know about the troll," Harry added, looking left and right before slowly ducking out of the crowd. Chrys followed, glancing back at Ron questioningly. Ron sighed, but agreed to come along as long as Percy didn't see.

They slipped in with the Hufflepuffs and then snuck off through an empty corridor. "The girl's bathroom is just around this corner." Chrys pointed. She froze at the sound of footsteps. Ron was worried that it was Percy. He grabbed the twins and they all crouched behind a statue of a griffin. "That's not Percy," Chrys frowned. "It's Professor Snape."

Harry pointed out that the teachers were supposed to be going to the dungeons to fight the troll. Why was Snape heading to the third floor? Ron shrugged. Chrys started sneaking forward.

"Wait," Ron said, putting his arm up to block her. Chrys glared. "No, just wait. I think I smell something…"

Harry took a whiff and pinched his nose. "Gross. Smells like toilets and Uncle Vernon's socks."

"And that sounds like Uncle Vernon," Chrys squeaked in fear, as the sound of grunting and heavy footsteps came down the hall. Ron gestured at the far wall, where an enormous shadow flickered ominously.

Harry covered Chrys' mouth again, preventing her from screaming as they caught sight of the disgusting beast.

It was about a foot taller than Hagrid, and would have towered even higher had it straightened its hunched back. It hobbled forward, one huge arm pulling a wooden club across the floor, the other hand reaching up to scratch the grey, hairless, peeling skin on its head.

Chrys felt dizzy from the sight and smell of him. She tried to stay back as it forced its way through a doorway, but Harry and Ron tiptoed after it, dragging her with them. Harry spotted the key in the lock and slammed the door shut. Chrys gasped in wide-eyed horror.

"Open it. Help me open it right now!" She shouted, fumbling with the key. Her hands were sweaty and uncoordinated in her distress.

"What? Did the stench drive you mad or something?" Ron wondered.

A horrible scream rang out from inside the room. "This is the girl's bathroom," Chrys said, finally getting the key to turn in the lock.

"Hermione!" Harry and Ron shouted in realization, helping Chrys pull open the door.

The three of them raced inside, just in time to see Hermione, sinking down against the wall, trying to make herself as small as possible as the troll grunted and came towards her.

Harry decided to confuse the troll, grabbing a piece of broken sink and chucking it at the monster's head.

The troll stopped, and turned laboriously, eyeing Harry before choosing to come at him instead.

Ron ran over to the other side of the room, shouting at the troll. Chrys loosened a broken pipe from the wall. Dirty water sprayed out all over the floor as Ron threw the pipe hard at the troll. Now the troll went for Ron, leaving Chrys enough time to grab Hermione and pull her towards the door.

Hermione wasn't making it easy. She was frozen by fear, which was understandable, but possibly deadly. Harry grabbed her other arm and hoisted her up, as Ron continued to make loud noises to distract the troll.

Unfortunately for Ron, he was now backed into a corner. Harry took one look at the situation, let go of Hermione, and ran straight at the troll, propelling himself onto its back, hanging precariously by its neck.

"Harry!" Chrys yelled, not knowing whether to laugh or cry as Harry shoved his wand up the troll's nose.

The troll's scream was ear piercing.

It was beyond angry now, moving around frantically, trying to get Harry off its back. Chrys tried to get closer, but Hermione held her arm in a vice grip. Chrys turned imploringly to Ron.

Ron took a deep breath and shouted out the levitation spell.

Chrys cringed, expecting the spell to go wrong.

This time it worked perfectly. The troll's club came soaring out of its hand and slapped against its head loudly. Chrys cheered as the troll fell with a splash.

Hermione finally let go of Chrys, asking if the troll was dead.

Harry announced that it seemed to be knocked out. He pulled his wand out troll's nose, wiping the residue on its trousers. Chrys ran over and gave Ron a tight hug. He was tense and unresponsive, still holding his wand up as if someone might attack at any moment.

"Well done, mate," Harry said, patting him on the back. Hermione smiled encouragingly. "Imagine the points we'll win for defeating a troll!" Harry bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning. Then he stopped suddenly, frowning. "Someone's coming," he announced, raising his slimy wand. Ron gripped his wand more tightly. They turned. A group of professors rushed into the room. Professor McGonagall's lips were pressed together in a thin white line. Professor Quirrell saw the troll and collapsed against onto a toilet. Not for the first time, Chrys wondered how the little turban man had become a defense professor. Professor Snape knelt down to examine the troll more closely. "Forget about those points, I guess," Harry whispered to Chrys.

Professor McGonagall lectured them in a tone so cool and calm that Chrys felt ice build up in her heart.

Snape studied them critically. Chrys met his eyes defiantly, which made him scowl.

Then Hermione spoke up. She told the professors that Ron and the twins came looking for her, because she had gone looking for the troll, thinking she could defeat it and win some house points. Ron dropped his wand in shock. Chrys picked it up automatically, trying to stop herself from smiling. Hermione explained that Ron and the twins had saved her. She'd be dead by now if it weren't for them.

This was the first time Chrys had ever heard Hermione lie…and she had never been more proud of her friend.

Professor McGonagall took some points off from Hermione, before sending her up to Gryffindor tower to finish the feast with the rest of their housemates. Then she rewarded Ron and the twins five points each…. for their astounding luck.

Harry's mouth fell open, but he closed it quickly, trying to look innocent. He failed epically.

Snape's eyes narrowed, but he stayed silent.

The twins, and Ron quickly scampered out of the room and started up the stairs.

Ron broke the silence by complaining that they could have received more points for their actions. It was good for Hermione to get them out of trouble, but they had saved her after all. Harry pointed out that they were the ones who put her in danger to begin with.

When they came through the portrait hole, Hermione immediately tackled Chrys in a hug, and awkwardly thanked the boys. Harry and Ron thanked her in return. Then they all piled their plates high with food. A few people sent them curious looks, none more so than Percy, but with so much food and excitement, everyone got full and sleepy, and soon the common room was empty except for the four friends sitting in front of the fire.

They stayed like that until the fire was low. Harry's head lolled onto Chrys' shoulder.

"We should get to bed," Hermione suggested. "It's been a long day." They stood up.

Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, listen, Hermione…I know I said something things and…well, I was wrong…and um…" Ron shuffled his feet, opening and shutting his mouth, but nothing else came out.

"I think that's as close to an apology as you're going to get," Chrys said, amused.

Hermione tilted her head thoughtfully. "I'll take it," she decided.

"So um…friends then?" Ron said, holding out his hand. Hermione shook it.

"Friends," she agreed.

Harry smiled, patting Ron on the back in a proud sort of way as they filed up the stairs.

While they were getting ready for bed, Chrys got it into her head that Hermione hadn't eaten enough at dinner. She pulled the last bit of her emergency licorice out of her pocket, wiped away the lint, and tried to coax Hermione into eating it.

"Oh, it's nice of you to offer, but I've already brushed my teeth," Hermione tried to say. Chrys continued to poke her cheek with the licorice wand. "My parents are dentists, they wouldn't want me eating sweets at all, and especially not right before bed," Hermione reminded her.

"And I'm sure your wouldn't want you fighting trolls or lying to teachers either." Hermione squirmed uncomfortably. "Eat it," Chrys ordered. Hermione sighed and dutifully ate the licorice wand. "There now, that wasn't so bad."

"It's a little dusty," Hermione said, in an act of rebellion.

"Are you insulting my licorice?" Chrys raised her hands to her mouth in mock horror.

Hermione raised an eyebrow tauntingly. "Yes." The two of them dissolved into laughter.

And on we go.