A/N: Again, you have all made me happy with all of your reviews! Thank you to christianlovesme, betty-boo, Sith Happens, penscratch, IrishSaints, wolfchick11, Jade Opal, Lex and Nyah1 for your wonderful reviews. As always, thank you for reading and keeping this story alive! I don't normally do this, but just to show my appreciation, I thought I would address you lovely reviewers publicly for this chapter. :)

christianlovesme: I'm interested to see what you think of this chapter. Your comment somewhat foreshadows what happens! (I'll leave it at that for the hints!) But thank you, and I appreciate your support.

betty-boo: Wouldn't we all want Murphy on our Xmas list? Even though Lourdes has been naughty, maybe she'll still get a present...

Sith Happens: I'm a tease, I can't help it! And I'll admit it - I like to play with my readers:)

penscratch: Again, I'm a tease. It keeps readers on the edge of their seats, doesn't it? You might find a surprise in this chapter!

IrishSaints: Ciaran will play a crucial role in this story. Ciaran is pronounced "Sea-ah-run", but there may be variations. I can't wait to read your reaction to this chapter!

wolfchick11: As always, I will update asap! I really appreciate you taking the time to review both of my stories. Thank you for your ongoing support!

Jade Opal: Love and men - the two most complicated things in the world. I hope that Lourdes makes up her mind soon as well!

Lex: I really appreciate that you took the time to review! I hope you like this update - there is a lot more to come, plus I am planning a sequel. This story will be about 20-25 chapters or so, depending on the reviews and hits. If people are interested, then I will continue to write:)

Nyah1: Lourdes is digging her grave deeper and deeper, huh? Let's hope she can resolve all of this soon. Thanks for your review!

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Chapter 10: Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced

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"Burning Bridges"

By: The Summer Obsession

Mission accomplished,
Do you feel regret breathing down your neck?
Broken friendships in progress,
Do you ever wonder why your soul is in debt?

Light a match,
But use it to find your way through the dark.

When the sun goes down emotions all come out,
And your sapphire eyes keep staring at the ground,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning all your bridges down.

The future is pending,
Are you sending angels out or demons instead?
What goes around comes around,
How will you cross the lakes and rivers that surround you?

Light a match,
But use it to find your way through the dark.

When the sun goes down emotions all come out,
And your sapphire eyes keep staring at the ground,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning all your bridges down.

With every kiss, that's on your list,
You're burning all your bridges down,
With every kiss, that's on your list,
You're burning all your bridges down.

When the sun goes down emotions all come out,
And your sapphire eyes keep staring at the ground,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning all your bridges down,
You're burning them down,
You're burning them down,
You're burning them down,
You're burning them down,
You're burning them down,
Burning them down,
Burning them down.

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Flashback

I ran blindly down a beaten path upon a field not too far from my house. Wild and uncontrollable tears freely cascaded down the sides of my beet-red cheeks as my mud-covered shoes continued to rhythmically thump upon the uneven ground. Keep running, I said inwardly, you're almost home. Then, you can be left alone and forget everything that happened – forget about Connor. Oh, Connor. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to get him off of my mind; I wouldn't be able to forget what I had just witnessed, not in a million fucking years.

As I turned the corner to my street, looking forward to the home stretch, the sound of lively whistling caught my ears. Just as I was about to look up, I violently collided with the figure in front of me, sending me straight towards the ground and him awkwardly stumbling to retain his balance. "Fuck me!" I heard him curse in surprise under his breath as he eventually managed to steady himself.

Murphy.

Shit.

I wanted no one to see me in this state, to be humiliated by a bombardment of uninvited questions. Unsteadily pushing myself off of the ground, I felt him grasp my upper arm and nimbly tug me upwards. As I regained my former stance, I mumbled my thanks and kept my eyes diverted towards the pavement. I was just about ready to bolt out of the scene once more when his index finger caught the bottom of my chin, slightly lifting my head so that I could meet his eyes.

"You cryin', Lourdes?"

"No." I replied curtly, pushing my disheveled hair from my face. I managed to meet Murphy's peering orbs, which continued to gaze at me in question. "I'm…I'm just cold, is all."

"Fuck off, like I'd believe that." He let out a scoff, triggering another uncontrollable sob from my moist lips. Frowning, he placed his palms upon my upper arms, lightly stroking them in both apology and comfort. "Ye saw Connor with his girlfriend, didn't ye? Over by the coffee shop?" When I refused to reply, he merely continued, "Look, ye can't go beatin' 'round the bush like this, cryin' all about that shit. If ye like me brother, just tell 'im. Even if he has a girlfriend, he'll let ye know how he feels about ye. Ye keep beatin' yerself up for this, but he has no idea how ye feel, does he?"

All I could manage to do was slowly shake my head. "I don't…I don't think so."

Murphy flashed me a quirky half-smile. "Then ye really can't expect him ta do anythin', then, can ye?" He placed his palm lightly upon my cheek. "Look, my philosophy is, always go for what ye want. Whatever ye think is holding ye back doesn't exist if what yer going for is what ye really want. I'm not sayin' ta break Con and his girlfriend up – I'm sayin' that ye never know how Connor feels about ye until ye ask. If ye let him know, then at least ye'll give him a choice." When he saw that he had managed to illicit a nod of understanding from me, he gave me two taps on the cheek with his fingers before retrieving his arm. He commented sincerely, "And don't worry about what he says or does. Yer awesome, and any guy would be lucky ta have ye."

With a smile and salute, Murphy continued on his way, leaving me alone and bewildered.

End Flashback

"Love, ye've been awfully quiet tonight."

I tuned into the sound of Ciaran's concerned voice as we zigzagged through the brightly-lit streets of central Dublin in a taxi. We had spent a leisure day at O'Connell Street and were not heading towards the lively Temple Bar district for the night. As I pried my eyes away from the bustling streets, I finally gave Ciaran my undivided attention. With a small smile that didn't reach my eyes, I admitted, "I just have a lot on my mind, that's all."

He began to rub my back, offering what little comfort he could give. Frowning, he questioned, "Things like what? Do ya wanna talk about it?"

I gave my head a firm shake, looking out towards the blurry streets once more. I placed a clenched fist upon my lips, leaning my elbow upon the window. Ciaran retrieved his hand from my form, letting out a long exhale. "Ye gotta stop doin' this, Lourdes. I don't even know what the fuck's goin' on with ye anymore!" I heard him ruffle his dark, spiked hair in frustration. He kept his temper in check, controlling his rising voice, "Ye've been so fuckin' distant lately, ye know that? Every time I talk to ye, ye act like this. I consider meself lucky to even get a bloody response from ye nowadays!"

I couldn't blame Ciaran for being upset. I just couldn't. I was distant and unaffectionate as of late. That, coupled with the fact that there were so many things that he didn't know – things that I didn't want him to know. Was it the guilt that was driving me to act like this? Did I only keep quiet because I didn't want to hurt him? "I'm sorry." I said sincerely, finally meeting his eyes and taking his hand in mine. "I don't want to drag you into this. I need to figure this out myself, alright?"

Although obviously not reassured, he managed to give me a nod. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips upon mine, giving me a long, lingering kiss. It brought neither comfort nor consolation. I returned it half-heartedly, placing the palm of my hand upon the slight stubble on his cheek.

The taxi then turned on a curb and slowed to an abrupt stop. "That'll be 10 Euro, mate." The driver called out, eyeing the two of us with a smile from the rearview mirror.

"Cheers, mate." Ciaran replied curtly as he handed him a bill. As we exited the cab, Ciaran took my hand in his, smiling. "Where do ya wanna go?"

I took a cursory glance around the famous street full of pubs and clubs. Spotting a buzzing pub not far in the distance, I motioned my head towards it. "That one looks promising." Trying to lift the heavy weight from my mind at the moment – at least, for the entire night – I led Ciaran to the nearby establishment, the sound of hearty laughs and Irish fiddles filling the air around us.

The entrance was already crowded from wall to wall as we walked in. We had to yell 'excuse me' several times as we rightly pushed our way to the bar. It felt more than claustrophobic, but after a little more effort, we were finally able to zigzag through the merry patrons and begin to queue for the bar. "Nice choice, babe." Ciaran yelled, giving me a peck on the cheek. "Like it 'ere already!"

Suddenly, a tap on my shoulder suddenly gained my attention. "Well. Fancy seein' ye 'ere," a familiar voice greeted me from behind. Turning, I spotted Connor, who was trying to balance four pint glasses in his hands. He shot me a smirk. "Who ya 'ere with?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, as if suddenly remembering where I was. Taking Ciaran's arm in order to gain his attention, I cordially introduced the two men. "Connor, this is Ciaran O'Malley. Hon, this is Connor MacManus." I smiled then, alternately gazing at the two of them. "Do ye two remember each other at all? It's been a while."

The look that passed between the two of them made me uncomfortable. Connor's eyes had, for a split second, flashed into a darker shade of blue as they landed on Ciaran. I didn't know how, but it seemed as though they had recognized each other instantaneously. I curiously eyed the two of them, who rightly towered over me, as I stood in between them. They continued to stand stiffly, back straightened, as they continued to stare sternly at one another without a word passing between them.

It was Connor who first broke the awkward silence. "Aye, we remember each other." He surprisingly said in a light tone. "Don't we, Ciaran?"

"That we do." Ciaran responded, flashing his teeth as he wrapped his arm around my waist. "How've ye been holdin' up, MacManus?"

The highly cordial tone in Ciaran's voice, somewhat uncharacteristic of him, made me curious. Looking up to see how Connor would respond, I heard him say curtly. "Not bad." Connor's stiffened jaw melted away as he turned his attention to me. With a softened expression, he said lightly, "We're at that booth over there. Care to join us?"

"Um…sure." I replied slowly, eyes darting to Ciaran to see if he would protest. When he only tilted his head in acquiesce, we slowly followed Connor through the packed room, drinks in hand, and made our way towards the corner booth.

As the crowd parted to make way for us, I immediately caught the sight of Murphy. I felt my heart lurch at his sight. With an arm slung over a blonde woman, he took a long drag of his cigarette, then ensued to burn it out on the ashtray before him. Another woman with curly, ginger hair sat to his side, laughing at a joke that had passed between them. Only the two women laughed, though. Murphy kept his attention on the empty pint glass that he was mindlessly twisting in his hand. Upon our arrival, the three immediately looked up.

Connor took his seat beside the ginger-haired woman, pleased that he had managed to successfully bring their drinks without spilling a drop. My eyes immediately connected with Murphy's. Even as Ciaran and I filed into the booths beside Connor, our stare never broke. Feeling uncomfortable after a few moments, I finally pried my eyes away from his, snatching the pint glass in front of me and taking long gulps.

Where was a gun when I needed one?

"Hey, slow down there, love." Ciaran whispered in my ear with a smile, kissing me upon the cheek once more. "Ye'll be passed out before ye know it!"

That was when Connor began to introduce all of us. I inwardly scoffed. Fuck the introductions. I wanted more pints!

"Eleanor," he gestured to the blonde, "Ye already know Murphy, and this 'ere is Nellie." He wrapped an arm around Nellie, grinning widely, "Mates, this is Lourdes and…" he cleared his throat, "Ciaran."

"Pleased ta meet ya." I was ashamed that Ciaran had to speak for the both of us. I could only look at the three and force out a pained smile. Ciaran continued in that same cordial manner that he had greeted Connor, "How you been holdin' up, Murphy? It's been a while."

It was difficult to miss that Murphy's expression had turned hard, dark. I noticed how his fists had clenched in front of him, stifling the new cigarette that he had lit. Pursing his lips into a thin line, he mumbled, "Not that long, Ciaran."

Furrowing my brows at this unusual, somewhat cryptic, response, I turned to Ciaran for an answer. He merely smiled at me, as if in reassurance, and squeezed my hand to emphasize that all was well. He turned to the four once more, his tone light. "Been havin' a good time?"

"Definitely!" Eleanor immediately answered, cuddling closer to Murphy flirtatiously. "Best time I've had in a while!"

Ahh, fuck off! I said inwardly as I took another sip of my pint. I managed to refrain from rolling my eyes as she began to whisper in Murphy's ear, making him smirk. I felt Connor's eyes on me, then saw them land on Murphy. I knew he felt the tension between me and Murph. Ciaran and the other two women had to have been oblivious, thankfully enough, because they went about talking, joking and laughing as if everyone was having a good time. I, on the other hand, wanted to leave. Why did I even agree to sit with them in the first place? Of course Murphy would've been with Connor!

But wasn't that the reason why I wanted to join him in the first place?

About half an hour of complete torture passed by. In front of me, all Eleanor was doing was flirting with Murphy, giving him her undivided attention. Murphy reciprocated her advances, whispering in her ear, keeping his arm around her shoulders. He barely even looked at me after the initial greeting, all of his attention now directed entirely to her. As I finished my third pint, I saw Eleanor stand from the corner of my eye. My eyes flashing upwards, I immediately observed Murphy following suit, placing on his black coat as he exited the booth.

"Ye two off?" Connor slurred beside me, reluctantly taking his attention away from Nellie.

"Aye." Eleanor nodded with a giggle, slinking her arm around Murphy's. "It was nice meeting ye two!"

I fought with all my might not to outwardly scowl. An 'aye' was all I could manage as I pursed my lips into a thin line. Fuck it. It wasn't any of my business where they were going, anyway. Murphy can do whatever – or whoever – he goddamn pleased! It was easy to overlook the storm brewing in my eyes, but it was evident that Murphy didn't miss the glint of anger within them as our gazes locked. With a swirling, pumping head and a progressively tipsy body, I fully turned away from him in spite, and without a word of warning, fully captured Ciaran's lips in mine.

When I looked up a few moments later, Murphy was gone.

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A/N: Has Lourdes really burned all of her bridges down? Will she and Murphy ever resolve things? Till next time, my lovely readers! xx IFHD