Hi guys! I am so sorry for the tardiness! I got caught up in my summer plans and well... let inspiration slip out a bit. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter nonetheless.
It was quiet. Too quiet. The police had taken Tomura and his gang away so the small group was now in the waiting room of the hospital, where Izuku had been rushed to the ER. Iida, Kirishima and Sero had gone to the garage where the motor heads worked to go get Shouto, Mina and the others. Meanwhile, the rest was at the hospital, waiting. Everything had gone so fast. But that moment was replaying over and over in Katsuki's mind. Shigaraki behind him. The shift of the blade in the air. Deku moving faster than ever despite his wounded leg. The knife stabbing through the flesh. The soundless scream of the green haired lad. And finally, the dealer's laughter filling the night.
The singer clenched his teeth so hard he could've shattered them. His fist clenched on his laps as he was sitting in front of the ER with the white blouse wearing duo that consisted of Yaoyorozu and Ojiro. The blond therapist was leaning on the table his hands brought together, and his head resting on them. He seemed to be praying. As for the neuropsychologist, she was standing, leaning on the wall her arms crossed, looking at the entrance with a barely composed look on her face. But for Katsuki this silence was torture. He wasn't used to waiting around. He wasn't used to not be able to do anything.
"What the hell Deku?! Damnit! What the fuck were you thinking?" He screamed after catching him, as the cops and the nerd squad were handling Tomura.
Deku only smiled in response, before spitting a little blood and passing out.
He had smiled. With a knife sticking out of his gut. Bleeding out. He'd still smiled. He hadn't been able to understand any of the nerd's actions until now, but Katsuki was now certain of one thing. There was no way anymore that he could deny how much the nerd cared about him. From the start, he'd wanted to help him. And what had he done? Got him stabbed by his psycho drug dealing boss. He felt his entire body start shaking and his stomach turned. He wanted to puke. It took him a few seconds before he realized that it wasn't just figuratively. He got up and quickly headed outside. He ended up in the hospital park that was empty since it was the middle of the night. And leaning against a wall, he proceeded to returning everything he'd eaten that day and threw up. Twice. Even after successfully emptying his stomach of any undigested waste, Katsuki remained leaning on the wall panting. He was so hot up there that he thought his brain was melting. Heavy drops of sweat dripped down his face and then onto the ground. To his great misery, he realized that he hadn't stopped shaking. It was like his own ribcage was closing up to chock him. The singer clenched a hand over his chest and fell to his knees, clenching his teeth. Darn it! This wasn't the time to get PAWS! Usually, it takes a month or two for the symptoms to kick in, but with Dragon Dive, it was much quicker. That shit had a special way to screw with your system. It got messed up much faster. He'd endured withdrawal before but never as intense as that. Why did he have to take that shit in the first place? Oh, right. He couldn't fucking manage his own temper! He was so focused on trying to kill the pain in his head that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching behind him.
"Young Bakugo." Said a deep yet gentle voice behind him as a hand grabbed his shoulder, startling him.
Behind him stood the skeleton thin man who'd come along with the nerd squad. He knew him because he'd seen his face in the papers. Before the singer could send him to hell, Toshinori brought up his free hand and presented Katsuki with a small reddish pill.
"Take this."
"What the hell is this crap?" Barked back the agonizing singer, struggling to breath correctly.
"It'll help calm down the symptoms." Katsuki threw him a death glare. "There's no need to play tough my boy. I've worked long enough with people like you to recognize withdrawal."
People like him, huh? So even the great Professor Yagi threw him in that category without a second thought. The singer kept glaring at him.
"Taking this pill doesn't in anyway bind you to me or the center..."
"I know that!" Growled the singer.
The experienced man took a breath and let a few silent seconds go by. The young singer in front of him was a complex individual that was hard to deal with. Izuku had told him enough for him to know. Katsuki let out painful grunt as the pain in his chest became sharper.
"If not for yourself, then take it for the friend who doesn't want you to suffer." Said Toshinori, his voice as calm as ever. "If you don't I'll have to call the hospital service and I know you don't want that."
"Damn it..." Katsuki let out with a chocked voice.
He reluctantly grabbed the pill from the professor and swallowed it whole without even needing water. Both waited a few minutes, until the singer felt that he could breath again properly. The tension in his muscles had disappeared as well as the nausea and headache. He observed his hand a moment to make sure that the shaking was gone.
"What is this thing?"
"A drug developed by my pharmaceutical labs. It's a calmer that temporarily negates the effects of withdrawal. But it's no cure. And it's only to be used for emergency." Explained Toshinori before standing back up. "Would you mind speaking with me for a moment?"
The singer wasn't sure what to reply. He certainly wasn't in the mood for a lecture. But then again what could he do besides that? First off, he damn well deserved it. This man was Izuku's mentor. The green-haired nerd admired him more than anyone else and not having a dad, Katsuki could only imagine how much that man meant to his childhood friend. And how much Izuku meant to him. Reading his silence, Toshinori led him by the shoulder to a bench of the park to get away from the smell of vomit. The singer sat, joined his hands together and looked at the ground while Toshinori sat beside him.
"From what Midorya told me, you've had quite a tough time."
At first Katsuki was surprised but quickly recovered. He should have known that this guy would speak exactly like Deku. "What of it?" He replied.
"My pupil's involvement seems to have caused you even more problems. I'm asking if you want to get out of your situation."
Katsuki clenched his teeth. "Why?"
"Because it would benefit you."
"That's not what I'm asking! Why the hell do you want to help me?"
"Because that's what I do, young man. It's my job."
"Stop being so damn fake about this!" Shouted Katsuki facing the man. "Deku got fucking stabbed because of me! And now you're trying to lick my boots? How dumb do you think I am, old man?! Say what you really want to say!"
"So you want to hear my real thoughts? Very well." Toshinori stood up and placed himself in front of the singer. "Midorya is like a son to me. He is the most kindhearted person I have ever met, despite everything that he's been through. And it breaks my heart to see him in this state. The doctors can't even tell if he'll pull through or not. So yes, I'm angry. Enraged even."
The skeleton thin man clenched his fists and Katsuki could feel the murderous aura about him. But what shook him the most was the tears that escaped the older man's eye. Despite that, he remained calm. With the back of his hand, he wiped his face before continuing.
"But if I were to blame you for it, I'd destroy everything I worked for my entire life as well as what this boy has been trying to do. He's worked himself to the bone trying to save you, despite how stubborn you were about it. To top it all off, he protected you without a second thought. Besides, you didn't stab him. Shigaraki did."
Katsuki felt the anger rise up in him again. He stood from his seat. "DAMN IT ALL! I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE! WHY THE HELL COULDN'T HE JUST LISTEN?"
He started panting again and when he spoke again, his voice was barely a whisper. "Why did I have to become the reason for Deku's misery?"
"Midorya believed... no, believes in you, young Bakugo. You've punished yourself enough. It's good to recognize your mistakes. But it's wrong to let those same mistakes of the past chain you for the rest of your life."
"He nearly got killed because of me! You call that a fucking mistake?!"
"Yes, I do. You're an intelligent boy. I won't teach you anything by telling you that your way of dealing with things isn't healthy. If you keep going this way, then you would have indeed wasted Midorya's efforts on you. And you're not that kind of person."
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WHO I AM?" He shouted.
"I know what Midorya told me. And there's no one I trust more than him when it comes to looking past appearances. Also, no one has to be an expert psychologist to tell that you're suffering."
Suffering? Was that it? Was that what he'd been feeling this whole time? As he wasn't responding, Toshinori continued.
"You need to reach out my boy. That's the only way to reconnect and make the pain go away. Human beings weren't put in this world to be alone and suffer by themselves. No one is invincible."
Even if Katsuki had been searching for something to answer, he wouldn't have gotten the time to say it. Running footsteps made Professor Yagi turn around as he also heard his name being called.
"Professor!" Cried out Yaoyorozu. "They're...they're done..."
The three of them quickly made their way back to the waiting room, where Ojiro and the surgeon were waiting.
"What do you mean you can't tell us?" Protested the blond therapist who seemed to have lost his usual cool demeanor.
"I'm sorry, only the family of the injured can..." Began the man, clearly embarrassed by the situation.
"That boy is my son, doctor." Immediately said the professor, interrupting him. "And everyone here is a close friend. So please, don't hold back."
Skepticism was clear in the doctor's eyes, but he sighed and gave in. "Very well. He's out of immediate danger. We've managed to stop the hemorrhage and contain the damage to his liver."
Tears and a smile of relief appeared on Yaoyorozu and Ojiro's faces. The singer let out the breath he'd been holding in this whole time and without realizing it, leaned his back on the wall of the room. However, the professor was the only one who seemed to retain a serious expression and the other three realized that the doctor was not done speaking.
"Please continue."
"There was... more damage than we thought. An old head trauma not completely healed was worsened and we almost missed it. Thankfully, one of our young surgeons with good eyes decided to check..."
Katsuki heart started to accelerate and new sweat drops appeared on his forehead. "Out with it already!" Spat out the singer.
"Your son slipped into a coma. We did what we could but... we're not exactly sure of when he'll wake up. Maybe... he won't."
A cold aura of shock invaded the room. The doctor led them to the room where Midorya was sleeping, mumbling something about someone already being there. But Katsuki couldn't hear. His mind was distant, trying to process everything that he'd just been told. Deku was alive, stable... and in a coma. His mind blocked. He didn't know what to think. His brain went totally blank. They finally entered a small room where they could see Izuku through a glass window. But when they entered, someone was already there, staring at him through the glass. She turned to the group when they walked in.
"Miss Uraraka." Said Toshinori. "I'm so sorry."
"Professor Yagi..." Tears were streaming down her face and the skeleton thin man wrapped fatherly arms around her.
"I'm so sorry, my dear." Repeated the professor.
"Why?" She let out, her voice broken by the emotion. "Why did this happen?"
Toshinori didn't reply and tightened his grip on the nurse as she was sobbing. Katsuki clenched his teeth so hard he could've shattered them. Each of her cries made the weight in his chest feel heavier and heavier. The singer places a hand over his face and shut his eyes tightly.
'Deku... you fucking moron.'
Meanwhile Ochako calmed down a little under the warmth of the professor holding her. She looked over his shoulder and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw the singer. He was hiding his face behind his hand but she could guess what kind of face he was making. Yaoyorozu had called her while they were on their way to the hospital, so she knew in detail what had happened. She threw another look through the glass. Izuku looked like he was sleeping peacefully. His breathing was slow and regular. He had new bandages around his head too. The machines monitoring his state were beeping normally. Ochako closed her eyes a moment before gently pushing the professor away and making her way towards the ash blond. Everyone in the room held their breath. She stopped in front of him.
"Katsuki." She said.
He flinched when he heard her voice, and they all saw him grip his face.
"Katsuki, look at me." She said, in a voice that was trying to be firm but failed.
Again he didn't move. In fact, if one paid enough attention, they would see that he'd even stopped breathing. His nails started digging in the skin of his face. Ochako's lips quivered and tears appeared at the corner of her eyes again. She came closer, until she was only a step away from him. The singer felt a small hand gently grab the one he was covering his face with, and gently pull on it. Still he resisted, not wanting to reveal his face to her. Sensing his reluctance, she let out a plea.
"Kacchan, please!"
Her voice was broken by the sadness again. This time he let her remove his hand from his face but still avoided her eyes. The face he was presenting her was filled with misery and regret. He seemed to have gain ten years of age. He was waiting for it. For her to start screaming at him, hitting him... He wanted her to do it. He'd feel better if she did. Ochako raised her arms and placed her hands on each side of his head. Gently but firmly, she turned his head towards her until their eyes met. Hers were still filled with tears but she had a determined look on her face, something Katsuki had gotten used to seeing on Izuku's face.
"Enough, okay? Izuku... that's as far as Izuku can go for you, you understand?"
His eyes widened some more in confusion. What the hell was she telling him?
"Now you have to take care of yourself. Don't think you're going back in your hole and give up again. You're gonna get better, you hear? If not for yourself then for him. He can't help anymore, but he showed you the first steps. It's your turn Kacchan. It's your turn to fight!"
Tears dripped down her cheeks again, but that glare full of determination didn't vanish. "I'm begging you." She continued, her voice softening even more. "Don't waste what he's given to you. He went this far because he saw how much you were worth. Don't waste it, please."
This time, it was utter shock that took over the hothead's face. His mouth slightly open and no words coming out of it was proof enough of that. A sensation of exhaustion invaded him at the same time. He'd had enough. There was no understanding these people who poured their hearts and souls out for others. These people like him.
'Is that what a hero does, Deku?' He thought.
"Kacchan's got the potential to bring others to the top, even if he doesn't realize it. All these people that you have trapped here in your drug empire... they can aspire to greater and better things because Kacchan's there." Responded the Deku of his memories.
'You're wrong. I can't.' He thought. 'I can't be like you.'
Katsuki grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from his face. "I'm sorry." He muttered.
Without a word he stepped out of the room but before the door closed behind him, he heard her sob again and bit his lips so hard that they bled. He walked out of the hospital as fast as he could.
A couple of hours later
He kept walking and walking until he found himself back in his shitty neighborhood. In one alley, he saw a group of junkies taking injections. In another, a bunch of drunk teens fighting. And yet in another, a prostitute crying. Yeah. Shitty neighborhood indeed. The singer let his mind wander into the past. He remembered the Academy. It seemed so trivial now. The reason he left. He couldn't endure the fact that someone had gotten the best of him. It was so stupid! And now... Now his only friend had payed the price of his stubbornness. If only they'd never met, then this would never have happened.
"You have no idea how grateful I am to have met you. Without you, I'd never be where I am today. When I say you're amazing, I mean it. You're the greatest inspiration I had. You're the reason I pushed forward. It's the truth. I was lost, weak and desperate. I wasn't fit to live where we were. You were the one who gave me something to aspire to. I found my will to become great because of you!"
"Quit lying you damn nerd..." He muttered in response to those words..
"Who the hell would go this far to make someone believe a lie?" Retorted the Deku of his memory.
"Shut up, darn it!"
He stopped in his tracks when he realized where he was. It was near the water of the docks of the old harbor next the river that passed through here. It was the place he liked the most when searching for inspiration. Because no one was there and it was calm. So he was generally free to let off some steam and let out his creativity freely. It was the same place where he'd meet with his old band to practice.
"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Said a lisping voice behind him.
One he never thought he'd hear again. Turning to the side, he hoped to find no one and that this voice was only the figment of his imagination. Because being damn insane and hearing voices right now sounded a way better option than this! But his eyes proved that he wasn't turning crazy. Standing on top of an abandoned container, dressed in jeans and a purple sweatshirt, a very short young man with strangely arranged hair was looking at him with a toothless smile.
"Sup Bakugo? It's been a while. You look as scary as ever."
"Wha... why are you here?!"
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