Chapter X

Throughout the Avery household, not a single sound was heard. For the first time since he had gotten there, Nick was lounging on the living room's couch with the television off and there was no more clacking of Cath's fingertips on her laptop's keyboard that had been miraculously left in her bedroom.

Levi had returned back to help his family on their ranch hours ago and feeling too lonely, she had found herself wandering from her bedroom to find some company. There in the living room, she had found Wren and Nick perched on opposite sides of the couch. Cath had sat down in between the two of them without muttering so much as even a "hi" or giving them a friendly nod of the head. It wasn't as if they would have noticed if she had – Wren was engrossed with her phone, and Nick had fixated his attention on one of the room's four walls.

It was the perfect place for moping.

If Cath hadn't been so focused on missing Levi, she would have found the room's silence to be stifling. Instead, she was glad for its comforting, familiar feel. She only hoped that Nick wasn't tormenting himself while being lost in his own thoughts.

When Wren's phone beeped loudly, it was all Cath could do to stop herself from jumping out of her seat.

"Come on," Wren said after reading the text that she had just received. "We're getting out of this house. I can't stand all of this depression anymore."

"I'm not depressed," Cath protested, her gaze traveling upwards to follow Wren as she stood up from the couch.

Wren rolled her eyes. "Cath, you're projecting boredom." She glanced back down at her phone. "Anyway, we have a party to go to. Nick too, if you want to come."

"A party? For what?" Cath asked.

"Haven't you heard? Everyone's getting together. And I don't know what for. Parties don't always have to have a reason… I guess just to see each other again."

Cath snorted. Of course she hadn't heard. No one from High school ever sent her the texts when they wanted to hang out. It was always Wren who got the news and it was assumed that if Wren came, Cath would come along with. She had always thought that they were kind of a package deal, but ever since coming back from college, Cath had begun to realize that she had always been more like the fifth wheel in her group of friends; she wasn't needed, but since she was attached to the vehicle, they accepted her anyway.

"Just go without me. I don't feel like going out today," Cath said with a shrug.

Wren rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask you if you wanted to go. You're going whether you feel like it or not. These are your best friends. You haven't hung out with them in months. Don't you want to see them again?"

My best friends? Cath echoed in her head. Back then, she had only had one best friend. That person just happened to be her sister as well. Yes, a little part of her missed that crowd that she had hung out with, but Cath could help question why they had never once in the past year called her up, emailed her, or talked with her in any way. They obviously had better things to do than talk to her then, so why would they want to catch up with her now?

"Yeah, I guess," Cath heard herself mumble. As if she had a choice? Wren would probably drag her out of the house by her ankles if she didn't go voluntarily.

Wren flashed Cath a grin. "Perfect! Nick, you coming too?"

Nick only shrugged and continued staring with a dejected look on his face.

Cath could see Wren's face visibly soften. "Look," she said, "I know you're really sad right now, but it would do you good to do something other than stare at walls all day. Once you get out, I'm sure you'll cheer up."

"No, really. It's fine. I'll be fine. I'm gonna stay here," Nick said.

Cath grimaced. "Wrong move," she muttered to herself.

Just as she predicted, Wren reached over to Nick, latched her hand around his wrist, and yanked him up from the couch. "I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to revoke that choice from your list of options. You are going with us," Wren said, marching towards the garage, dragging a confused Nick in tow.

Cath sent a quick text to her Dad, who was still at work, and then dashed out of the house seconds behind the other two.

When Cath stepped into the house that the party was at – a friend of a friend's, named Ashley – she was not prepared for roar of noise that met her ears as the door opened. She had been expecting what Wren had described it as – a little get-together. Obviously, Wren's opinion of what a little get-together was had changed quite drastically. Everywhere on the first floor, on the staircase, and on the second floor, her previous classmates milled about, clutching red plastic cups and chattering animatedly while nodding along to the blaring music.

"In you go," Wren chirped, nudging Cath and Nick in ahead of her. Almost immediately, Cath lost Wren in the sea of people.

"So what now?" Cath turned around. Nick was still hanging around behind her.

She shrugged. "I really don't know. I don't usually come to these sorts of things."

"Reunions?"

"No. Parties."

Nick nodded. "Do you know anyone here?"

Cath searched the crowd. "Sure, I know people, but I don't know them. Like, I'm sure that they won't recognize me anymore if I said anything to them."

Nick nodded again. Why couldn't he stop nodding? He was like one of those bobble-head toys that people stuck on the dashboard of their cars. "I'm going to go get something to drink."

"Terrific. I'm going to go…" Cath's response was lost as Nick disappeared into the crowd. "…do stuff."

As she scanned the room, Cath felt even more lost than she had before. As she tried to elbow her way through the people standing shoulder to shoulder, she discovered that she actually knew less of the people here than she had initially thought. They all couldn't be in her grade. There had to be some kids that were older or that had gone to a different High School. Sure, Cath's class had been large (almost three thousand kids), but she should have at least recognized most of the kids here. Especially after four full years of having classes in the same building as them.

A nagging feeling grew inside of her that everyone was watching her as she passed them, scrutinizing her every move, and criticizing her for looking so lost. What's she doing here? Cath could imagine them thinking over and over again. Her breathing began to feel difficult and she began to look around for something to do that would keep her occupied, if only for a minute at least, and the heavy bass of the music kept pounding at her temples, but not in the good way that Kanye's music did when she needed it to brighten up her day – in the way that the music in suspense thrillers set her heart racing and got her adrenaline pumping. They were looking at her. All of the people. All of the people that were standing too close to her while staring her down. Cath tried to tell herself that she was being silly, but she plastered a smile to her face anyway although she was certain that her self-conscious attitude made it appear like a grimace – like she was in pain.

All things considered, Cath could as well have been.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of the reflective surface of a mirror peering out through an open door. This time, the smile that Cath wore was genuine. A bathroom: her saving grace. Before anyone else could slip in, Cath ran towards it, not caring at all if she shoved anyone out of her way. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, already feeling twenty pounds lighter as her stress lifted up off of her shoulders. She sank to the floor and took out her phone from her pocket and powered up the games that she had thankfully thought to download onto it. She was going to be in here for the long haul.

Cath checked the small time in the upper right hand corner of her screen – only an hour had passed. Even though she had been somewhat entertained, it had seemed like an eternity. She opened up a blank text for Wren and started typing "Where are you? Ready to go yet?" but thought twice about it and held down the backspace key, deleting the message. Why would she ever think that Wren would be ready to go? Wren was never ready to go. She was always asking for just one more minute, one more hour, one more day….

If Cath left it up to Wren to make the call, she would be stuck in here forever.

She returned her attention to her game, but quickly lost interest again. She had already beaten most of the levels, and it had lost its novelty long ago. She opened up another blank text, this one for Levi.

"Hey"

Cath pressed send.

A few minutes later, her phone buzzed in her hand and Cath read the message.

"Hey to you too. ;) What's up?"

Cath's heart soared and a smile spread across her face. It was as if she had uncovered a little bit of Levi, canned in a jar that she had found in her pocket, his smile impeccably preserved.

"Oh, nothing much. Just missing you" Send. There was no way that Cath could tell him the truth – that she was hiding in a bathroom at a party so that she could avoid the pressures of having to find someone to interact with. She couldn't tell him that she was so awkward that she would rather hide than talk, especially in some place as glamorous as a bathroom.

"You know, it's much nicer hearing your voice. Can I call you?" No. No, he couldn't. If he called her in here, someone on the other side of the door would hear and her cover would be blown.

"I actually can't talk anymore. Got to go eat." As soon as Cath sent the message, she regretted it. Using eating dinner as an excuse? It was only three o'clock in the afternoon – nowhere near dinnertime. She contemplating sending Levi a text, saying something to the extent that eating had just been a typo ("oops"), but what would be a more likely excuse. Her phone vibrated once before she had the opportunity to type anything.

"Alright. Talk to you later then?" Cath let out a sigh of relief. Levi had fallen for her terrible excuse.

She quickly typed back. "Yeah. I'll call you next time I get the chance." Cath wasn't sure if that sounded any better or if it fixed anything, but she sent the text anyway.

She didn't have any time to mull over her own awkwardness or to wallow in any self-pity before someone's fist rapped on the door. She froze. No one had ever before bothered her while she was in the bathroom. The closed door had always been left in peace.

"Um… occupied?" Cath said.

"Yeah, I get that. The door wouldn't be locked if it was empty. Now get out of there," the voice from outside shouted at her.

"Oh, okay. Sorry about that. One minute." Cath pocketed her phone, flushed the toilet so that it looked like she hadn't been just sitting in there, and washed her hands.

Her eyes down below the level for contact, she opened the door a crack and scampered out, muttering "sorry" to anyone who cared enough to be listening. Before the impatient person could say anything more to her, Cath allowed herself to be absorbed back into the crowd. For once, she was glad for the amount of people there. She threaded aimlessly between the people, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw them – the boy and girl on the couch, fingers intertwined in each other's hair, and lips locked.

"Wren? Nick? What the hell!"