DECEMBER 10 TUESDAY

The only reason Remus had a clue of what went on in the country was because James subscribed to a very large and corrupt news paper. As part of keeping up with current events he liked to read articles or bits of them out loud every morning, especially articles he could criticise for their inaccuracy, so he could feel smart about having enough insight to know the news paper he subscribed to was full of crap.

This morning it was the following article that just had to capture his interest:

Terrorist attacked Chenille's on Hoity Street Monday afternoon. According to the shop keeper it was a boy of Hogwarts age who completely unprovoked broke a window by throwing a jar of gold at it. He escaped by unleashing a kappa before the aurors arrived. Chenille's is now closed due to high toxicity and the staff is very worried.

"We're all terrified," says Madame Papillon, who saw it happen. "The gold has now attracted beggars and they're bound to have fleas. The Pest Service needed to release Hell Hounds to get rid of them and I'm very allergic."

The Daily Prophet has tried to contact the Headmaster of Hogwarts for a comment.

James put down the news paper.

"'Terrorist attacked'... I've seen worse terrorist attacks on my bonsai Jinmenju!"

"They need pruning or the heads will grow mold," said Remus.

"I only agreed to a little off the top."

Sirius, however, would not simply ignore the elephant in the room.

"You actually terrorised a shop on Hoity Street?"

Weeeeell...

"Without a mask!"

"I thought masks were for wusses," said Remus.

"If I'm such a role model to you, how come you won't cross a cemetery without a helmet?"

"It's not like I planned it."

"You didn't plan it? That's like the first rule of terrorism: plan it."

"I'm not a terrorist."

"I'll say! Still, you're the one who gets called to the Headmaster's office. I've never been called to the Headmaster's office. What will I have to terrorise to be called to the Headmaster's office?"

Sirius took a gold star from a card of stickers and put it on Remus's robes.

"Perhaps the Court of Diagon Alley..."

"That's flattering that I have inspired you."

"Oh yeah, you're pruning has really inspired me."

Remus remembered he actually had those magic jelly beans in his pocket. He decided to uncork the jar in which they were kept and spill them in his hand.

"Look what this mysterious old witch traded Shishi for," he said.

"Wow!" said Peter.

"You really traded Shishi for some beans?" James asked.

"Just temporarily," said Remus. "They're magic beans, how could I say no?"

"McGonagall's coming this way," said Sirius. "Do you have your lenses?"

Remus did, and he put them in.

"Maybe he can borrow your reading glasses or something?" Sirius asked James.

"My reading glasses? I need those. But I'm sure I have some other pair..."

James moved his toast plate aside and put his entire collection of glasses on his table.

"My flying glasses, walking glasses, egg-painting glasses...Oh, I never use these!"

"What are they?"

"They're my rose-tinted glasses. I really don't know what I was thinking when I got them."

He let Remus have them, and he tried them on. He had very good eyes but never had he seen things so clearly, or so many rainbows. These would disguise him perfectly, and they surely went really well with the turban Sirius put on his head. Turbans, what a great hat!

When McGonagall came over she was clearly too impressed to comment and simply asked him to come with her, which Remus was more than happy to do because she was so knowledgable and pleasant to be around. When it turned out she was leading him to the Headmaster's office he was so excited he could explode.

Dumbledore wasn't alone in his office. Two aurors were visiting him at this hour, too! How fun, the more the merrier!

"Who's this?" asked one of them, interested.

"Well, you asked us if we knew anybody who looked like that drawing," replied McGonagall. "And I thought he fit the description the most."

The aurors looked between the drawing and Remus.

"This isn't right at all. He didn't wear a turban or glasses," said one of the aurors.

"I know. And his eyes were orange, not blue."

"Was this really the best you could do, Professor McGonagall?"

"I just can't think of anybody who currently has orange eyes," McGonagall replied.

"Well, I suppose it is possible the shop keeper was mistaken," said one auror. "People don't always look their age."

"Thanks for the coffee. So sorry to bother you," said the other and put down his cup.

McGonagall followed them out of the office.

"Do take all that off," she said when she returned.

So Remus removed the turban and the rose tinted glasses.

Never had the world seemed so...dark.

McGonagall came around the desk to give Remus a smack upside the head.

"You're an idiot! That's weekly counseling for you!"

"Counseling what no!"

"Counseling what yes!"

Well blasted.