Here is chapter 10 :) Warning Sleepy Marble Eyes = angsty Marble eyes...something I've discovered today. Thank you everyone so much for your reviews for the last chapter. I hope you enjoy this one! :)

Leah didn't want Paddy's lies or explanations. All she wanted was to get out of the flat and away from the piercing blue eyes that were staring up at her from on the floor. Her head was a jumble of thoughts and questions, but she just wasn't in the mood to find out their answers. Leah almost ran across the room and yanked the front door open, she didn't expect a hand to reach out and slam it shut again. She kept her eyes directed at the floor and once again tried to pull it open, only to find it wouldn't budge.

'Let me go.' cried Leah angrily, tugging forcefully at the door Paddy was keeping shut. 'I'll scream, I'll scream so loud that they'll think you're murdering me.'

'People have thought I'm capable of murder most of my life,' said Paddy, almost sounding as if he was in physical pain. 'Why should you or Hollyoaks see me any differently?'

Leah let go of the door handle, trying to understand Paddy's words. 'I don't understand.' she said slowly. The rage was starting to subside, only to be overtaken by confusion.

Paddy finally let go of the door, unable to hide the hurt on his face. 'I wouldn't expect you to.' he walked back over the television and switched it off completely. Paddy bent down and began to gather up the pictures and newspaper articles. 'Just go Leah.'

Leah watched him for a second, unable to take her eyes off him. There was something she was missing here, something big. She had thought that they had been getting to know and starting to understand each other before, but this was a side to Paddy that she'd never seen before. He seemed so small and young as he gathered up the pictures, fragile even. He looked ready to break into tiny pieces at any minute.

'Who are you?' asked Leah.

Paddy looked up and their eyes finally met. His blue eyes that were usually full of light and amusement looked haunted. 'You know who I am.'

She chewed her lip, trying to make sense of it all. 'Are you...are you related to Brendan?' she asked.

'He's my father.' stated Paddy simply, he stood up and placed the files on the coffee table. He sat down heavily on the sofa. 'I don't expect you to stick around now that you know that.'

'What do you mean?' asked Leah, stepping away from the front door.

Now that she had gotten over the initial shock, she couldn't believe how stupid she'd been. Of course Paddy was Brendan's son; they had the same blue eyes and piercing stare. They even sounded similar when they talked. Perhaps it was only Paddy's innocence and vulnerability that had blinded her to the fact. Brendan was sharp and cutting in comparison.

'Most people usually leave when they find out who my father is.' stated Paddy.

'Well I'm not most people.' answered Leah. She glanced back towards the kitchen. 'How about I put the kettle on and make us some tea?'

Paddy nodded in an almost child like way. He kept looking as if he expected Leah to run out of the flat at any minute. As Leah went into the kitchen and put tea bags into two mugs she couldn't help but wonder what had happened in the past to make Paddy this way. When the kettle boiled she poured hot water into the cups, still lost in her own thoughts. Her Mum always said a good cup of tea could solve anything, but on this occasion Leah doubted it would. She carried the newly made cups of tea back into the living, finding Paddy exactly where she'd left him.

'Thank you.' Paddy said softly as she placed a mug down in front of him.

'So...' said Leah, as she sat in the seat furthest from Paddy. 'Did you know our Dads' used to go out?'

'Aunt Cheryl mentioned it.' said Paddy softly; still seeming amazed that Leah had stayed. 'I found out a while ago that you were Ste Hay's daughter.'

'That would have made the other night proper weird if they still were.' said Leah, trying to dispel some tension. 'It would have been like borderline incest.'

Paddy finally looked up and smiled at her. 'Not really.'

'I used to call him 'Daddy Brendan' and he's your Dad too. Talk about keeping it in the family. You don't want to hear the story behind my Dad and Grandpa's first meeting.' she took a long gulp of her tea.

'My brother Declan and me used to hate you and your brother.' said Paddy in a rush. As if it was something important he needed to get out in the open. 'You were all he talked about during his last visits to us. He went on and on about your Dad and you two. Mum hated it; she couldn't understand why he'd settled down with your Dad but not her. It made Declan and me feel as if there was something wrong with us. We spent hours trying to figure out the reason why he wanted you, but not us.'

Leah frowned. 'He didn't want us in the end either. He wouldn't have left us and gone to prison if he did. Do you still hate us now?'

'Of course not!' answered Paddy. 'It was just how I felt as a kid.' he finally picked up his mug of tea and took a long sip.

'Why did you come to Hollyoaks?' asked Leah, once again breaking the silence.

Paddy looked thoughtful for a moment. 'I wanted to know who my Dad was, who he really was. People have used so many words for him: murderer, cheat, brother, drug dealer, father. But none of them are my own words. I never knew him properly, so how can I make a judgement? All I have is what other people have told me and some blurry childhood memories, hardly the most useful sources. Everyone seems to have something to say about him, but I have nothing except the word absent.'

'I'm sorry.' said Leah softly, overtaken by the need to apologise. She couldn't help feel guilty over the fact that she knew Brendan better than his own son.

'You've got nothing to be sorry for.' said Paddy awkwardly. He looked to be barely holding himself together.

'Well I am.' answered Leah. 'I couldn't imagine not knowing my Dad, no matter what his faults are.' With a pang she also thought about her Mum. If Leah wanted she could just jump on a bus and see her Mum within a few hours. Paddy had never had the luxury of that with his own father. Maybe it was time that she started building bridges with her Mum again. Their silly mother-daughter feud had gone on far too long.

'I've been researching everything I can about him since I got here.' said Paddy, pointedly glancing towards the television and the folders. 'I never would have put that old news footage on today if I'd known you were coming round. I just want to know what type of man he really was, see him in the flesh.'

Another question occurred to Leah as she listened to Paddy's words. 'What did you mean when you said earlier that people thought you've been capable of murder most of your life?'

Paddy shrugged nonchalantly. 'That's just something people say to me.'

'Not around here they don't.' said Leah, pushing for an answer. Even though she had a feeling the truth would lead down an even bigger rabbit hole.

Paddy's eyes were faraway, as if he was remembering a truly horrible experience. 'I grew up in quite a close knit community in Ireland; I couldn't go ten steps without bumping into someone who knew what my Dad had done.'

'But what has that got to do with you?' asked Leah.

'Everything.' answered Paddy. 'I'm my father's son, I'm half of him. Cut from the same soiled cloth. Most the people in my community believe it's only a matter of time until I flip just like he did.'

Leah slammed her fists down on the coffee table. 'Rubbish!'

'The sins of the father shall be visited upon the son.' answered Paddy. 'I've been told most my life that I'm rotten to the core, just like my Dad. Eventually you start to believe them.'

'But I bet most of these people didn't even know your Dad. They're just judging him on the basis of that court case thirteen year's ago.' argued Leah.

'He got found guilty of murdering five people Leah, what do you expect?' said Paddy as if the argument wasn't new to him at all.

Leah desperately searched her mind, trying to think of the right thing to say. 'That doesn't mean you're going to do the same.' she moved across the room and sat down next to Paddy. She placed her hand on top of his cold one, lacing her fingers through his.

Paddy stared down at her hand for a moment, as if it was something alien to him. 'I'm bad news Leah, I thought I could be someone different over here but I can't be. I'm never going to escape the shadow of my Dad's past.'

'But you can learn to live with the shadow.' argued Leah. 'Not let it control your life or affect the way you live.'

Paddy laughed bitterly, it sounded wrong coming from his lips. 'Leah do you realise you're the first and only girl I've ever slept with?'

Leah felt herself go pink, as she tried to force the drunken memories of what they'd done a few weeks ago to the back of her mind. She hadn't known that it was Paddy's first time. She couldn't help but feel regret that they hadn't done it in better circumstances.

'None of the girls back home will date me because I'm not the marrying kind. Nobody wants to marry the boy whose father is a murderer. The only ones who were interested were mostly ones trying to win bets with their friends. I spent most my teenage years having people hiss 'murderer' as I passed them by in the corridor at school. Even when I was a kid a lot of the boy's from school were banned from being my friend by their mothers after my Dad was found guilty.'

'Paddy.' said Leah, her voice almost a whisper. She could feel the tears beginning to form behind her eyes, she could visualise every part of his childhood so clearly. Her own had been idyllic in comparison.

Paddy yanked his hand away from Leah's, as if the touch now burnt him. 'I didn't tell you that to make you feel sorry for me. I told you so you'd understand why I can never escape this.'

Leah bit down hard on her lip, forcing herself not to cry. How could one action have caused so many consequences to so many different people? She wondered if Brendan would still go out onto that balcony and confess to the murders if he knew what it would do later to his lover and son. Would he have the heart to hurt them in such a way again? Hurt himself like he'd been doing for the last thirteen years? Sometimes people just didn't have a choice, just like Paddy didn't have a choice with who his father was. You just had to live with the cold hard facts and get on with it.

'That's why I'm here.' continued Paddy. 'My Aunt told me about the appeal and I knew it was the only way I'd ever get to see him in the flesh.'

Leah froze at the realisation of something she hadn't even considered before. 'Have you known from the start about me being Jim's intern?'

Paddy paled reading the expression on her face, unable to hide the guilt. 'It's not what you think.'

'Answer the question.' said Leah, unable to disguise her growing anger.

'Yes.' said Paddy in almost a whisper.

Leah stood up, knowing this time that if she walked out the door she wouldn't come back. 'You used me. You used me to find out information about the appeal and my Dad.'

'No.' said Paddy, now standing too. 'At the start maybe that was my plan, but it all changed after that night together. I discovered I really liked you and didn't want to go through with it.'

Leah bit back the tears. 'I need you to answer me honestly. Did you only approach and go home with me that night in the club because you knew who I was?'

Paddy closed her eyes, his expression one of anguish. 'Yes.'

Leah stood up and walked to the door, this time Paddy didn't stop her. She couldn't face looking back at him, knowing it would be fatal to her resolve. If she looked at him just once more she would end up changing her mind and staying. Staying was not an option after what she'd just heard. No one in the world had a right to use her in such a way.

'Goodbye Paddy.' she said softly. As she stepped out into the early afternoon she was almost sure she heard him let out a sob. But she didn't turn round and continued instead to put one foot in front of the other. She ignored the silent tears dripping down her cheeks, trying to quell the pain of Paddy's betrayal. Her mind felt as if it was going to explode with all the new things she'd found out.

Leah was halfway home when she pulled out a phone; dialling in the number she'd gotten from the doctor's at her early morning appointment. 'Hello, I'd like to book myself in for an abortion.'