Chapter Nine:

Riley Tudor Cody

"He's fucking here, Gemma!" I cried, waving my glass of cognac to emphasize my point. I'd arrived at her house about 15 minutes ago and had already poured myself two shots of cognac.

"I already agreed that it's suspicious and potentially the beginning of a true shit show." Gemma said placatingly. She had already called Clay and he was on his way back, probably with Jax and his skank girlfriend. The thought of Jax and Wendy made me throw back the contents of my drink.

Last night had been a blur. I'd reentered both my relationship with Craig and the SAMCRO social scene with a bang. Lying to Craig about Wendy had been the worst, but also the most necessary. No one could know that Wendy was doing coke in the bathroom. At least not from me. Even if she was an addict, she deserved protection, and I wouldn't risk Jax putting her out on the street in the midst of this war. And I couldn't let Craig know where to find the blow. So I kept that to myself, making some lame excuse about being afraid that she'd hit on Craig, like he'd ever dump me for anyone let alone Jax's girl. But seeing Baz this morning had almost completely pushed last night from my mind. I'd hated leaving Craig there to deal with it alone, but I also knew that I just couldn't be there with him looking at me like I was a brand new toy and calling me a fucking croweater.

"But we've gotta figure out a solution before flying off the handle. You're sure that you didn't like flee from the room or something when he showed up?" Gemma was asking.

"No, of course I didn't. I was as graceful and gracious as you've always taught me to be." I sighed in response.

"Maybe I should call Smurf." Gemma said absently, not knowing that just hearing her name spiked in me a rage stronger than a thousand fires.

"And say what?"

"Do the motherly thing. Just a quick 'Hey your son showed up at my doorstep. Thought you'd want to know.'"

"And when she says 'Why didn't you call when Craig showed up at your doorstep 18 months ago?' You'll say?"

"You already knew where he was going and why."

"That could work," I reasoned sadly, plopping into a dining room chair. Gemma patted my arm, her cold, hard rings smooth against my skin.

"How are things with Craig?" She asked after a moment. I never knew how, but Gemma always knew when there was something to be shared.

"We had sex yesterday, in the shower, before the party." I said, sighing. Gemma gave me a strange look.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" She asked.

"I mean, maybe? Yes? I don't know if I'm ready for any of this, Gemma. It's like the universe keeps telling us that we should be apart. He shows up here, finally, after 3 years and we have a chance to be together. What happens? I get fucking shot. We finally have sex after 18 months of living in this weird limbo and what happens? Baz literally shows up at my front door. Literally is on my doorstep. In a damn cut! As an officer! What else should I be taking from the universe if not that clearly Craig and I shouldn't be together."

"That you were thrown into the lifestyle of Outlaws and criminals, and that the universe never looks out for us. We create our own good, baby, I thought you knew that." She answered immediately. I just stared at her. "All the bad shit that's happened since I brought the club to Charming isn't a sign that I shouldn't be happy. It's just a sign that we live a dangerous life. But I still have my boys, and I have you, so I can't help but be happy."

"What're you saying?" I asked, sighing again.

"You used to be so smart, Dove, I think you've been around Jax too long." She laughed. I glared in response. "I'm saying that the universe isn't punishing you for fucking Craig. It's not actually punishing you for anything. It's just how your world works. There will always be danger, there will always be weirdness, there will always be something wrong. But you can't let that get to you. Be with your man." She replied, patting my arm again. She got up to wash out our coffee cups, and as she did the door sprang open. We both immediately pulled our guns from our holsters. Gemma's was strapped to her back, mine in the holsters over my shoulders. Craig and Jax entered the room, hands up in surrender.

"I told you they'd be packing heat." Craig said to Jax, holding out his hand. Jax palmed him a $20 bill. "I've caught Jax up on our little problem." He continued, flipping one of Gemma's dining chairs around and sitting on it so his front faced the back of the chair. Jax was at the refrigerator grabbing what he needed to make a sandwich.

"What can you tell us about Baz's role in Smurf's regime?" Gemma asked the two of us as she put her gun back where it belonged.

"Last I knew, he was vying for the second in command spot. Pope had spent some time in jail with me, we overlapped by a year, and he let me know that Smurf was relying on Baz heavily since I'd been locked up." Craig started.

"He's smart, probably the most calculating of the brothers." I jumped in. "He knew exactly how to play Smurf and Julia against each other for his own gain." I'd remembered Smurf and Julia's fights, when he let himself get caught coming out of her room or when he was caught by Julia with Smurf. Somehow, he'd always come out on the other side of the confrontation sparkly clean.

"He just wants to be taken seriously." Craig continued, now taking my hand in his. He started playing with my fingers. "I talked to him, in front of the rest of the Seattle group."

"You did what?!" I cried, pulling away from him. "Are you fucking insane?!" I continued, getting up and pushing my chair back into the wall. Gemma flinched. Craig didn't look at me.

"I don't know what y'all were planning, but Baz is too smart for games. I thought I'd just ask him straight up." Craig clarified, leaning over the back of the chair to get closer to me.

"What did he say?" Gemma prompted.

"That he's no longer on Smurf's payroll, that she doesn't know he's here. What he's supposed to say. 'Look, man, I just found family in the MC like you did. Is that a crime? Are you the only one that can get out and be happy?'" Craig imitated Baz's voice perfectly. I shuddered.

"He's such a fucking liar. He doesn't do anything without Smurf." I spat out, running my hands through my hair. "I can't stay there, Craig. You saw the way he was looking at me."

"How was he looking at you, Dove?" Jax asked, setting his plate down on the table and walking over to where I stood.

"Like I was Julia." I answered. "Like I already belonged to him."

"Late for another midnight rendezvous with Craig, huh, Riley?" Baz whispered as I opened my door one night a year into my relationship with Craig. My blood ran cold and I tried to steel myself with an impassive face.

"I have to shit. That okay with you, big brother?" I quipped, stepping around Baz but he just stepped in my way again.

"You've gotten sloppy, little sis." He continued to whisper, closing the meager gap between us.

"I haven't shat my pants yet, Baz. Now, THAT would be sloppy." I responded, stepping back to the wall.

"You've been fucking Craig for how long now? I'd wager about a year now. I started noticing when he slapped your ass 6 months ago at dinner." Baz stepped even closer, flattening his palm against the wall, next to my right shoulder. I stayed silent, staring stonily past him. I'd never been scared of sober Baz, but drunk Baz was a different story and I could smell the liquor on his breath. "What? You don't have anything to say to me? I don't get some love like Craig does?"

"Is that what you want, Barry?" I looked into his glazed over brown eyes. He reached out his other hand to brush hair away from my face. His fingers were light and gentle as he tucked the stray strands behind my ear. He leaned down, kissing me on the lips with the same gentleness.

"You've looked in a mirror. Every man alive wants to fuck you." He answered. I reared my knee into his junk and punched him in the nose as he went down.

"You fucking touch me again and I'll cut your dick off. Imagine how Julia or Smurf will like you then, huh, Baz? You cowardly piece of shit, if you'd really had a problem you would've confronted Craig not me. But you're weak. Leave me alone, Baz." I hissed, stepping over him and retreating to my room. I locked the door and slumped against it, finally letting the tears fall. I texted Craig that I wouldn't be over that night.

"You never told me he hit on you." Craig responded after I'd told everyone that story. Jax rolled his eyes and stuffed his sandwich in his mouth after saying:

"Are you fucking surprised anymore? Dove wouldn't tell you if the house was on fire if she thought it would make your life easier."

"Fuck you, Jax." I cried, turning on him. "So what? You're mad I keep secrets now? You're mad that I don't tell everyone everything all the fucking time? Isn't that the mark of a good Old Lady? I tell the Club shit that's important for the Club to know." I snapped.

"You aren't supposed to make that call, Riley. You give us the information and we determine if it's important for the Club to know." He screamed back.

"Fine. You want some fucking information? Your new girlfriend did a couple lines of coke in the bathroom last night during the party. When I asked her where she got it, she told me that Clay was her supplier. He and Tiggy have been selling cocaine behind the Club's back since the accident. That's why I don't like her. That's why we were fighting." I blurted it out quickly but clearly. "Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, VP. I didn't want to distract you or the Club from this stupid fucking war you've started." The room was silent after my admission. Gemma gave me a weary look. I feared that I'd tested her patience for the last time, that her good graces over the last 4.5 years would be swept from under me in a fit of rage. I refused to look at Craig. After a silent 2 minutes, Jax slammed the plate so hard against the table it broke in half before he grabbed his cut and left the room. He couldn't look at me and I couldn't blame him. He deserved to know, but he didn't deserve to find out the way he did.

"It doesn't do anyone any good for you to antagonize him." Gemma reminded me gently. "But I get where you're coming from, Lee. I'm going to give Smurf a call." She got up from the table and walked into the other room, leaving me alone with Craig. We didn't speak for so long I thought he'd decided to move past it. I should've known I wasn't that lucky. Despite Gemma's council, I was more convinced now than ever that the universe or God or whomever was working against me.

"I get you're hurting. I've understood that you've been hurting for 18 months. But you should have told me the truth. God, Riley, that's the only thing that's been consistent in our relationship. We tell each other the truth. I don't give a fuck if you lie to Gemma, Jax, Clay, the whole fucking Club, or Smurf. But you've gotta look me in the eye and tell it to me straight. Otherwise, what's the fucking point?" He said, giving me a look that was more than hurt and less than anger. "I've gotta get a smoke, I'll be outside." He headed toward the back door without a passing glance. He'd always dwarfed me, but in that moment I couldn't have felt smaller if I'd tried.