Morning light pours through the windows of my bedroom and today is definitely not gray. The sun is shining and the irony is not lost on me, that despite the weather, this is going to be a dark day for Bobby.

This is the day he will find out Declan was behind the murder of his brother.

I imagine you're asking yourself how I could possibly know this already. Well I certainly don't know for sure. But my instincts, which are potentially skewed thanks to the nut job's daughter, tell me he has to be involved. Why, is the question I don't have the answer to.

Bobby looked nauseous or maybe pained most of the morning. We went over some theories in the interrogation room, but mostly Bobby was quiet.

Too quiet.

We play good cop, bad cop. Today I'm the bad cop and I reinforce Declan's hatred of me by telling him and Bobby that they are out of their minds.

Then I leave and take my place behind the glass.

What I hear and see saddens and sickens me, but it doesn't surprise me. Declan, in all is perverse glory, likens Bobby's to a puzzle. Tells Bobby he did it all for him. Manipulating, then killing Nicole. Getting Frank killed. All for Bobby, all to free him of dead weight. So he could engage again. Whatever the fuck that really meant…..

I feel myself getting dizzy as I watch. My mind is swaying with the knowledge of what this confession will do to my partner's soul. Any stirrings of excitement of newly found love are washed away by the heavy feeling of dread over Bobby's newly found knowledge.

There is no way I can clean all of this up. I'm not sure I'd even know where to start.

But as I see Bobby rise and make his way out of the interrogation room, look of unending grief on his face. I try to shake off my doubt. As always, it'll be up to me to be the backbone of this partnership. To be a steadfast sounding board for the man I supposedly love, above and beyond professional terms. This is what I'll be, because it's the dance Robert Goren and I do. And if I ever step out of my role in this dance, it'd be over.

And none of us wants that.

**********

Ross takes Bobby aside after they move Declan to lock up. He tells him that Bobby must take leave again, albeit a much shorter one this time. It's mandatory after the death of a loved one and paid in full. As for any psych consults on the horizon, Ross said he'd check back in with Bobby after he returned to duty, After what a prick Ross had been over the last few days, I thought that was a fair deal.

I'm not sure what to say to Bobby, as he cleans out from his desk what belongings he'll need for the next two weeks,

"Can you let me know when Frank's service is? I want to be there." I try not to sound like a nag.

"Umm…. Yeah sure Eames, I'll call you." He rubs the back of his neck and looks down. "I'm not sure when…. I wanna try and find Donnie again. I gotta at least try."

"Sure Bobby… and if you need any help with that….." I trailed off, at a loss for what to say.

He stopped sorting out the things on his desk and stared at me.

"I'll call you Eames….Alex." He averted his eyes downward when he said my first name. And the look told me not to expect much in the way of phone calls from Bobby. My partner was planning on immersing himself in this. Deep in the guilt and responsibility, as sure as he killed Frank himself.

I sat as my desk and watched him shuffle over to the elevator. I couldn't let him go like this. Maybe I felt overly responsible due to our recent proclamations of love. I sprang from my desk and ran to him while he waited for his elevator. I didn't care if our colleagues saw my sprint and had their own secret suspicions.

They were right, of course. But I stopped giving a shit about thirty minutes ago….

Or however long ago Declan lay his sociopathic tendencies at my partner's feet.

I reached Bobby before he ducked into an elevator, grabbing his arm.

"Bobby!"

He looked at me with agitation, then looked around the room behind me. As if to illustrate, not here, not now.

The elevator dinged shut and the one next to it opened. I pulled him inside and luckily no one else was there.

"Are you staying at your place tonight?" I was done beating around the bush.

"Eames, I so appreciate your help and the past two nights, but I need to be alone tonight."

"Why?"

Yep, I was done holding back.

"So you can process Declan's shit over and over in your head? So you can let him get inside and goad you into thinking that this….all of this is your doing!?!" I held my hands up in the air to illustrate my point.

Ding, we were now in the parking garage.

"Alex you don't understand!" He started taking bigger strides toward his vehicle.

"Oh and who does Bobby? Do you? Do you understand any of this? Being alone, left to wallow in it. Will that make you understand it better?" I jumped in front to prevent him from running out on me.

"Bobby Goddamn it! Don't push me away! Not this time, damn it!" I put my hands flat against his chest to prevent him from advancing . He pushed forward anyway.

"NO!" I yelled. I was starting to feel the beginnings of tears edging along the corners of my eyes.

Bobby stared ahead and wouldn't look down at me.

"Detective…" He said in a threatening tone. "Move… or I will move you."

"Fine." My voice quivering, giving away the fact that I was now full on crying. "You want to be alone….then be alone." I stepped to the side giving Bobby a clear straight-away to his car. But before he could move. I reached up and tipped his chin so he was forced to look at me..

"I love you Bobby Goren and whatever happens I mean that…. I mean every word!"

I threw his own words. The ones he said to comfort and reassure me the other morning, back up in his face. I hoped it would help him really see me and not just the abyss that was circling around him like a bloodthirsty shark.

He took two sharp and shallow breaths, then dropped his things on the ground. He grabbed me, pulling up my body so hard, my feet went airborne. His arms swallowing me in a great big hug.

"I love you so much Alex" He whispered into my ear. I just don't want to hurt you….I can't lose you … I don't want to take you down with me."

I tried to respond but Bobby was holding me so tight I was lucky to breathe, yet alone speak.

After a few minutes, he slowly undid his embrace and let my feet touch the earth again.

"I promise…. I'll call you.

I nodded.

There wasn't much more I could do.