Again, lots of references to Chapter One of Repaid. And also…Madge shows a penchant for hitting her head. Re: The Great Escape. (You see my elaborate plot to get you to read my other stories?)
Also, if you haven't read Scars by KenoshaChick yet, you should. So you know, I'm nicer to Madge than she is, as proved by her latest chapter. LOL. ;)
As ever, many thanks to Ceylon205 for beta! And also many thanks to anonymous reviewers, since I can PM you!
Chapter Ten
Madge's POV
In my dream I am searching around for painkillers but can't find any. My head throbs and throbs, but the rows and rows of tall drawers are empty or locked. My frustration mounts two-fold when water drips down my forehead and into my eyes from an unknown source. I try to wipe the moisture away but I can't lift my hands higher than my shoulders. Ugh. Frustration bursts through my chest and with a growl I smash my fists into the drawers.
I wake up.
Water's still running into my right eye, but my hands are free to deal with it. I reach up and discover the source: a melting icepack rests on my forehead. I lift it away and search the skin with my fingers, discovering a lump that feels impossibly large. And tender. Erg.
I must have felt the real headache in my dream. It's painful enough in waking, without the sound of someone's shoe tapping restlessly on the floor on the other side of the bed. I have no recollection of lying down here. I turn my head a fraction to the left where the irritant's racket comes from.
Gale's sitting in a chair next to the bed, but he's staring off into space through hooded eyes or concentrating very hard on something he's thinking about. He chews his knuckle. I can't see his feet, but I can tell from the sound, and by the way his Mockingjay uniform-clad torso moves, that he's jiggling his foot against the floor.
"What's going on?" I rasp. His head snaps in my direction. He's wearing a grim frown, but it brightens somewhat when our eyes meet.
Gale slips out of his chair and leans over me. He takes the sweating icepack from me in one hand and gently runs his calloused thumb over my brow with the other, inspecting the lump. "Welcome back," he says.
"Thanks," I automatically reply. Then I mumble, "Um…where did I go?"
He shrugs. "Only you know."
I blink, trying to puzzle out Gale's unusually cryptic reply. I give up. The last thing I remember is seeing Darius and then nothing. In fact, as far as I know, I'm not the one who went anywhere.
"Where's Katniss?" I ask. "And Darius?"
"In her room," Gale replies.
Her room? But…I thought…aren't we in her room? I take a closer look at the whitewashed walls, smell the antiseptic, and feel the rough sheets while Gale strides to the other side of the bed where someone placed a nightstand. This unit looks exactly identical to Katniss's. Until I see the door is on the opposite wall.
"Then where are we?" I gasp.
"In your room. Across the hall," he tells me nonchalantly as he rifles through the nightstand drawer. He pulls out a rectangular pad. He cracks it with his hands and shakes it.
"My room?" I cry over the sloshing chemicals, twinging my head. It sends a thunderclap of pain through my skull. I wince. "Ow."
"Ow is right," Gale grunts, placing a new icepack on my head. "You clocked your forehead pretty good on the side of Katniss's bed. That's one way to get her to vacate," he jokes. "But maybe not the best idea. You might have a concussion."
"I don't have a concussion," I grumble as the cold sinks soothingly into my skin.
"Madge, your eyes are dilated," Gale points out, gently pushing my eyelid open. "Maybe I should get the nurse now that you're awake."
"I don't need a nurse." I push his hand away and try to sit up. The icepack slips off, onto the pillow. The room looks like it's spinning and my forehead feels like it has more cracks in it than the sidewalks back in Twelve. Again, ow.
Gale reapplies the icepack. "Lie back." He picks up a brown bottle from the side table and spills two brown tablets into my hand. Painkillers.
"Water, please," I croak.
Gale leaves to get some and quickly returns. He hands me a paper cone filled with cool water and I down the pills.
He purses his lips, giving me a stern look. "Take it easy, Madge," he bosses. Then he hushes a little. "Look, Darius wants to talk to you. Think you're up for it? You aren't going to, you know…." He makes a diving gesture with his hand.
"I don't think so," I mumble. "Seeing him all of a sudden just surprised me." A lot. Sort of like how an ocean has a lot of water.
"You're sure you aren't," Gale scratches his head while he thinks of an appropriate phrase, "emotionally overwrought?"
"Who isn't emotionally overwrought these days?" I snap. Gale's eyes widen in surprise at my tone and I feel guilty. But his question is getting a tad too close to a subject that is very painful for me, one that has returned to confront me with no warning. I was not prepared for Darius to turn up out of the blue, or to be confronted by all the guilt and sorrow I feel about what I did to my friend.
"Sorry," I apologize. "I guess I am overwrought. But I do need to talk to Darius." I smile weakly, trying to joke, "If you're worried I'll take another head-dive, you could strap me in like Katniss."
Gale frowns. Well…he frowns more and his heavy eyebrow knit together. "Fortunately, she doesn't need restraints anymore. Not even with all the news going around."
Oh.
I stare guiltily at the white tiles of the drop ceiling that hides the evidence that we live in a cavern.
"I…I told her, Gale," I confess.
"I know," he replies evenly.
My eyes involuntarily flicker to his face. "How?"
Gale shrugs. "Well, the way she gaped at me, I guess would be the first clue," he says. "And the why didn't you tell me you're in love with Madge Undersee? was the second."
"Was that all she said?" I mumble.
Gale's features open into a look of awe and his restless fingers scrunch the hair at the nape of his neck. "Oh, no. Nope. She had some other things to say."
"Are you angry with me?" I ask weakly.
Gale's hand drops to his side. He shakes his head.
"Not even for sneaking out while you were asleep?" I grimace.
"No."
"Why not?" I ask. Not that I'm looking for trouble, but it seems odd that he's not bothered at all, especially when he made such a point of keeping this secret.
"I…," he pauses to think. I've never seen Gale so fidgety before. If it was anyone but Gale, I'd say he was wringing his hands. Maybe their just cold from the icepack. "There's not a lot of time to get angry about stuff like that."
There isn't? Then what is he talking about? "But you scowled at me and said 'news' like you meant our news," I babble. "And I assumed…"
"I meant other news," he says stoically. "About the mission. We met for training this morning and received some important information. If I scowled, it's only because I know how you feel about my part in it."
Oh. I reach out for his hand. "Gale, I…"
But I'm spared a response when the door opens. Gale spins around with his hunter's reflexes, but stands down when Katniss steps through.
Something's off about her. I can't exactly say, but her eyes seem dull and her face pale.
"I told you she wasn't in a coma," Katniss mutters to Gale. Coma? She elbows him. I bet it hurt. She has bony elbows.
Gale's eyes flash and his shoulders hunch a little like he might be embarrassed. "I said it might be a coma. It doesn't hurt to check." He rubs his ribs while he backs up to sit on the bed next to where I'm lying. Despite the waspishness of his tone, he still looks concerned.
Katniss ignores him, or at least she's too busy observing us together and conscious for the first time. I have trouble reading her expression. Not anger or disapproval. Just curious. In a guarded sort of way, I think.
"Do you feel okay?" she asks me.
"I'm all right," I reply.
She nods. "Darius wants to know if he can come in. We've been talking. Sort of." She steps closer to the bed. "I'm finding out a lot about you today. I never knew that you were friends with Darius."
"Um…" I blink at her. Naturally I never told her. Our activity together had to stay a secret.
Katniss sits in the chair by the bed and takes a deep breath. I scoot up a little on the headboard because I don't like how Gale and Katniss are both standing or sitting over me.
"He told me that you two met when working for Haymitch, Madge," she says blandly, trying to keep any emotion out of her voice. It's strange compared to the warm way we almost parted not that long ago, just before Gale arrived.
"That's true," I answer. Gale's eyes narrow, not at me, though. He's staring at Katniss with a puzzled expression on his face.
If Katniss notices Gale's scrutiny, she doesn't let on. "For the rebellion."
I nod slowly, wondering about Gale's absorbed interest in Katniss's profile and what I'm missing.
Katniss touches a spot over her chest, like her fingers are looking for something they remember, but can't find anymore. "So the pin…." She stops to swallow. "You said once that it was just a song bird, when I asked about the mockingjay on your pin. But you knew all along that you gave me the symbol of the rebellion. Didn't you?"
I see. She's wondering if I got her stuck in the middle of this on purpose. If I knew what I was doing or what would happen when I pinned the brooch on her dress that day in the Justice Building. Or if I did it, as per Haymitch's instructions.
"Katniss, I swear I didn't know," I tell her. "I mean, I did know about the mockingjay symbol. My family on my mother's side has old ties to the first rebellion. When I gave it to you, I swear I only hoped it would help find you support from our allies in the Capitol. I didn't know they'd use you…or any of this."
"Why didn't you tell me the truth after the Games, when I asked you about the pin?" she cries, wringing her hands. This must be like the episodes Gale told me about. Katniss's naturally reserved and cool. I've never seen her agitated like this.
"I couldn't, Katniss," I stammer. "Haymitch swore me to secrecy about my part in the rebellion. Even my parents didn't know the truth. And besides, he hardly told me anything. I didn't know he'd have plans for you or that my pin would suggest." The aching in my head crescendos through the painkillers and I clutch my forehead.
"You used me, just like Haymitch," she hisses.
I'm completely floored by her accusation and the bitterness in her voice. "I'm sorry—"
"You should have—"
"Katniss, Madge did not betray you," Gale growls, putting his hand on my shoulder. He squeezes gently and suddenly I feel like I can sit up straighter. Katniss's eyes shoot daggers at Gale, but his voice is low and steady when he says, "This isn't the best time for this. You're too worked up and Madge isn't feeling well. Don't say anything you'll regret."
Katniss stills completely, except for her sharp eyes which follow the line of Gale's arm to my shoulder and up to my face. Different emotions sweep over her own. Surprise. Betrayal. Hurt. Then she releases the breath she's been holding, and shakes her head slowly like she's coming out of a dream.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs, looking down at her hands. "I don't know what came over me. I've done so well lately."
All I can do is stare at her with wide eyes, feeling bulldozed. Although I know that this is a side effect of the trauma she's experienced, I'm still reeling from being on the receiving end of so much anger. I'm glad Gale's next to me.
"You are doing well, Katniss," Gale placates. "No harm done. Just take it easy."
"I'm going to find Darius," she says, still not meeting my eyes. She slips off the chair and leaves Gale and I alone in the room.
"That's how she behaved almost constantly in the beginning. Everything triggered her," Gale murmurs. "You see how it is."
I nod dumbly.
He kisses my temple and I let him. "Are you okay?"
"I will be, I think," I tell him, pulling his arm till he sits next to me on the mattress. I lean on his side. "It seems like everything I've done wrong in the last year is coming back to haunt me. Maybe I should have stayed on the couch."
Gale's fingers slip beneath my chin, gently forcing me to look at him. "Hey, it's like you said. Haymitch didn't give you the complete picture. You didn't anticipate the consequences."
"And Darius?" I swallow.
"What about Darius?" he asks.
I grip his fingers and pull them away from my face so I can look away. It's too difficult to admit this while I can see his eyes flicker with emotion. "He's an Avox because I tried to stop Thread from whipping you. He stepped in to save me from getting in trouble and it cost him. That should be me with no tongue."
Gale shakes his head. "You both should have left well enough alone. I knew poaching would probably land me in trouble one day."
"Trouble?" I gasp. "Thread wanted to flay every last piece of skin from your body. That's above and beyond—"
"Nothing is above and beyond when it comes to the Capitol, Madge," he gripes.
That, unfortunately, is true. "Ugh. And to think, that man's still alive somewhere. I'd like to tear him apart," I growl.
Gale fishes the icepack from the pillow and slaps in on my forehead. "You should probably recover first," he says, unimpressed by my ferocity.
Someone knuckles the door then. We look up and see Darius slip quietly inside with Katniss on his heels. She looks mollified now, nearly herself except for her abashed blush on her cheeks. Darius nods at me and taps his forehead as if to ask if I'm feeling all right.
Gale switches places with Darius, pulling up a chair next to Katniss across the room. Darius holds the icepack for me, which he doesn't need to do, but everyone seems to be in a gallant mood all of a sudden. I don't really say anything, not knowing where to begin, and well…he can't. So I eavesdrop on Katniss and Gale for the time being. Their voices are hushed and urgent. Strips of red brighten Katniss's cheeks and her reddened eyes shine. But she's sitting upright, at least, looking determined rather than desperate. I notice for the first time that Gale has shadows under his eyes and he chews the knuckle on his thumb when he isn't talking, like he did earlier. He's unsettled.
Katniss brushes her finger down the smooth material covering his arm, and even though I know it's just Katniss and that she's in love with Peeta, the gesture wakes a nasty green dragon in my stomach that I didn't know existed. She asks, no longer whispering, "When did you get this uniform?"
"This morning," he says, studying the cuff. "We had a training session."
"What weapon did you learn to use?" Katniss asks. Her tone sounds clinical.
"Handguns."
"I've never used a gun," she says, as if cataloguing the long list of weapons she has used. Guns don't show up in the arena, nor do bombs or other automatic weapons. Not unless some kid arrives with the knowledge to assemble such a weapon, like the boy in the 74th Games who used pieces of the arena launches. "Did you do well?"
He shrugs. "There's always room for improvement."
Both of their faces split into an identical smirk and I realize that this is an inside joke. I don't think it's funny or amusing that Gale is not at all prepared for this mission. What's the cheerful form of gallows humor? Oh yeah. Bravado. Gale's middle name. I feel like I'm going to throw up while Gale goes on to explain Darius's appearance and Haymitch's announcement.
"They want Peeta to renounce the resistance publicly, and blame the rebels for your death," he tells her.
"My death?" she balks. "But I'm not dead."
Gale shrugs. "Peeta doesn't know that."
"The Capitol wanted me dead, not the resistance! Peeta knows better. He wouldn't just play into Snow's hands like that, he's got to know something's wrong."
"Well, I guess we'll find out if he's as bright as he looks," Gale mutters. For all his fine speeches about rescuing Peeta, it's apparent that he's in no hurry to kick his habit of insulting his past rival. Katniss glares at him. "I mean…uh…" he fumbles.
Katniss interrupts his backpedaling. "When does the team leave, then?"
Gale visibly stiffens and I see his head start to turn toward me, so I close my eyes, pretending I'm not listening. He clears his throat, then mumbles his reply. All I catch it that the program will be held outdoors in front of the Training Center, practically waiting for them to snatch him away from the Capitol's grip.
I turn back to Darius, who's looking at me with concern. He holds up three fingers in answer to the question I obviously want answered.
Three days? And Gale only just used a gun today for the first time. What is wrong with the leaders in this place? I'm distracted from panicking further when Darius pulls a small notepad from his jacket pocket. His lips thin into a weak smile when I gaze at it curiously. He scribbles hastily then spins the notepad around for me to read.
Hello, Princess.
Princess. The nickname a Peacekeeper gave me and Darius adopted after the Harvest Festival debacle that started the "who-owes-who" relationship between Gale and I. I kind of hate nicknames. Only jerks give them to me.
I shake my head. "I don't know what to say to you."
Well, this would be easier if you knew Avox.
"That's not what I meant." I touch my fingers to his lips. "I'm so sorry."
Darius smiles again, then scribbles more on his pad. Chin up, Madge. Didn't I tell you I'd become a hero?
That's exactly what he said on the very last day I saw him. Just before he gave up his freedom trying to save Gale for me.
"You are a hero," I whisper. Darius nods, satisfied. "I don't feel like I'm much of one, though. This is my fault."
Don't look so guilty, Madge. I made that choice and I've got no regrets. I've accomplished more good without my tongue than a lifetime added up.
The words blur on the page as my eyes mist up. Darius's attitude after what the Capitol's done to him leaves me breathless. Although I don't believe he's as okay as he looks, I feel humbled by his easy forgiveness. It takes a moment before I can finish reading.
And you know Haymitch wouldn't have gotten far without us, right? Looks like our hard work is finally paying off.
That's optimistic. Especially this early in the game. Plus, I don't remember the last time I did anything remotely useful for the rebellion, or even felt the need. My parents' death has affected me more than I realized. Instead of wanting revenge, I just want all this to be over so I don't lose more people who I love. What's more, Haymitch hasn't spoken to me once since our first encounter on the Cole. He said he'd help me out, without saying he expected anything in return. But he's been completely hands-off since then. I look in Gale's direction and realize that he's like my replacement in this phase of Haymitch's plan.
"Looks like Haymitch is doing just fine without any further assistance from me," I mutter.
Let's see some more rebel spirit, Undersee. There's still room for your skills in this rebellion. Paper pushing, and suchlike. We can work together, just like old times.
Old times. Yeah. I toss the melted icepack onto the nightstand. It squelches when it hits the metal. That sound pretty much sums up my enthusiasm. And yet, here's Darius, who had his tongue cut out and decided to use it for the rebellion's advantage.
It's tiny. Just a spark. But being with Darius helps me remember what my old enthusiasm used to feel like.
Darius taps the notepad in a "speaking of which" sort of way, then jabs his thumb over his shoulder at Gale with a wink. He could tell I had feelings for the Gale long before he and I were even friendly. I feel my cheeks burn, remembering how Darius used to refer to Gale as my boyfriend after the Peacekeeper incident. It's amazing how Darius can still tease me like he used to, just with his facial expressions.
So, you snagged the miner after all?
"We'll see," I mutter.
Darius takes the notepad back and writes that he can't stay any longer.
Nah. He looks good and snagged to me. Anyway, I only meant to drop in on Katniss. She looked like she could use some closure after the last time we saw one another.
"She isn't the only one," I say. My guilt has been eating me up on the inside ever since Haymitch told me about Darius's fate. And even before then…I shudder, remembering the nightmare I had once about kissing Gale and then he turned into a tongueless Darius. Strange. My subconscious must have tried telling me something. I shake that disturbing idea and finish the last note.
I have a friend I need to get back to.
"A friend, huh?"
Darius waggles his eyebrows, but taps his lips to let me know that's all he's going to say on the matter.
Or, come to think of it, that this friend is also an Avox.
We're interrupted by Nurse Temple, who comes in saying that she came to see if the patient is awake. She sends Katniss and Darius away. Gale just ignores her and stays in the chair across from the bed. I realize while I appreciate this stubborn trait in Gale, I hope our children don't inherit it.
I'm not sure where that thought came from. The nurse gives me a quizzical glance when the blush reaches my forehead, which she's inspecting. She shrugs to herself, then checks my pupils. Finding nothing more to report than a headache, she says that I'm free to go and to continue taking the brown tablets if the pain persists.
I slip off the bed as she leaves, pocketing the pill bottle. "Will you walk me back to…to wherever I'm going?" I ask. "Or do you have somewhere else Haymitch needs you to be?"
Gale shakes his head. "Not until tonight. He's with Plutarch and Quintus finalizing plans," he tells me, pushing himself off the chair. "You don't have to stay in the dorms. Come home with me."
I nod. "There's something I wanted to tell you earlier, but didn't get the chance."
Gale holds the door open for me to pass through. When we walk by the nurse's station I make a point of reaching for his hand and turn back to wink at Nurse Chapel. She gawks at us, but I swear I hear the chair shoot back and bump into something as the doors close on the medical ward. I imagine she was in a hurry to make the rounds on the gossip chain. I grin, feeling pleased with myself.
"What's up?" Gale asks tentatively.
"Oh, the nurses are gossip—," I stop when I realized by his puzzled expression, that he meant to ask about what I'd said early, about having something to tell him, and not why I have a silly grin on my face. "I wanted you to know that I've had a change of heart." I clear my throat and staring with false fascination at the drab wall panels of the Level 2 corridor. "About the mission."
Gale stops us. His hands grip my shoulders, causing me to face him completely. "What about the mission?" he asks cautiously. I don't blame him. Technically, we're still fighting about it.
I busy myself by straightening his collar. "You were right, Gale. You need to help Peeta. I'm sorry I asked you to stay."
Gale scratches his head. "That's…good."
It doesn't feel good. My throat constricts and the tears forming behind my eyes makes them burn. "But I still believe that Plutarch and Haymitch are irresponsible for allowing you to go without sufficient training," I add hastily, feeling like there isn't enough time to say everything I need to. "And you better promise me to be careful and…"
Gale's cups my cheek and my words stick in my throat. His thumb strokes over my lips. "I promise."
"You have to try to learn everything you can before your departure," I continue. "You should've been training, not sitting with me —"
"Madge, I leave in three days," he says. For the first time I see that his eyes are burning too. "I'll do what I can, but in the meantime, I also need to be with the people I love."
"You l-love me?" I gasp. My heart feels like it's jumping into my mouth and I have to swallow it again.
"Yes, Madge, I do." His eyes are the softest shade of grey I've ever seen, like spring rain, as he confesses. A self-deprecating half-grin curls over his mouth. "I was a little slow on the uptake. My mother knew before I did. And you've been saying that you love me for so long, but I couldn't figure it out. When we were on the hovercraft I thought that I'd do the right thing and let you go. Not hold you to the things you said in the wilderness. You could have a new life and start over completely."
"What!" I cry. "Gale, how could you think of something so silly?"
He pulls me close. People move around where we're standing in the middle of the corridor, staring as they pass by.
"I know. I gave that up as a bad job before we even made it Underground," he says so low it's almost a growl. "I would have strung up anybody you tried to date anyway. You're mine now."
"You rescued me, so you get to keep me?" I ask with a foolish grin on my face, quoting something he once said to Rory: When you drag a woman out of a burning district, you can keep her too.
Gale smirks. "That's the general idea." Then the smirk fades and he grows serious again. "I know that since we've arrived here I've been a jerk, but I've thought about you the entire time I've been doing my duty everywhere else. You were the one person I wanted to be with."
I can see the sincerity in his face. Gale is nothing if not honest and direct, and if I can hardly believe what I'm hearing, it's not because of him. I think maybe it will always surprise me that I can have the love of the one man who I never believed would give it to me.
"Come on, then." I tug him into the empty elevator behind me. The doors close behind us and I press the button for Six and wait till we're moving. I smirk at Gale. "Here's a trick I learned in the Justice Building elevator." Then I blush, and add, "Only, not for this purpose."
I hit the emergency stop button. We rock on our feet as the motion suddenly terminates.
"Madge, what are you doing?" Gale asks suspiciously.
"We only have three days," I murmur, standing on my tiptoes to fold my arms around his neck. I feel the bottle of painkillers press into my hip when I lean into Gale. Well. I won't be needing those. "Let's make the most of it."
Gale's eyes widen for a moment, just for a moment, before he lifts me off my feet.
TBC
That little bit of elevator action was inspired by an up and coming (I certainly hope!) one-shot by the lovely MoonNRoses. Can't take credit for it! And now, a little less conversation, a little more action please! It is so time to rescue the dough boy!