Chapter Ten gave me quite a run for my money. I wasn't quite sure where I was going with this for a while there, to be honest. Writer's block always hits at the most inconvenient of times. I enjoy ending on cliffhangers for the reason that I know where I need to start the next chapter, however much you, my dear readers, may hate that.

I am departing tomorrow for the mountains once more to be a camp counselor, but only for a week! I'll be back Saturday and therefore there is a high possibility I can keep up my goal of posting a chapter a week!

Anyway, I'm not quite sure how good this chapter is. I know I say that a lot, but seriously, I'm waaaay distracted right now. I'm getting in my fill of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood before I leave and I just watched Hughes die... *sob sob* I cry every time...

Also, I'm gonna be a zombie soon, cuz Deadman Wonderland doesn't come on until two in the morning for me... and I HAVE to see this next episode! And FMA comes on after it, so I'll probably watch that too... oh, the sleepless life of an otaku...

Anyway, now that we've gotten completely off topic, I hope you enjoy chapter ten!

Host Club Side

"Well, you're certainly more distracted than usual today," Kyoya commented as he adjusted the bowtie of his attire that was the club's newest getup for the cherry blossom viewing reception. "What's the matter, Tamaki? There are several young ladies lined up at the garden's gates already. You're typically much more enthusiastic."

"What?" Tamaki asked, snapping out of a daze as Kyoya's observation clicked into place inside his head. "Oh… I can't seem to concentrate today," he sighed. "That Samayu Yojin girl… she didn't come to school today. I keep wondering if it's because of something I did on Friday."

"I highly doubt it. You rescued her from a closet, didn't you? The ladies always love a bit of chivalry. It's much more likely that she simply had business to attend to."

"Chivalry doesn't work on her, Kyoya," Tamaki said dejectedly, smoothing out the cuffs on his white button-down shirt. "She can't even stand to be in the same room with me. She hates the fact that I even exist."

Kyoya smirked. "Oh, I wouldn't take it that far. And if I may ask, why are you pining over a girl who has made it quite clear she wants nothing to do with you?"

Tamaki jolted. "I'm not pining! I'm being a gentleman! Isn't that the whole point of being a host? And since I'm the club president, that requires me to be more of a gentleman than any of the rest of you, and–!"

As Tamaki continued his furious rant, Mori and Hunny observed from the side. Hunny giggled. "Kyo-chan sure has Tama-chan riled up, huh, Takashi?"

Mori nodded once. "Yeah."

"Wow. The boss is really going at it, huh?" Hikaru asked from another corner of the garden, where he and Kaoru were reviewing their script for the "brotherly love" act of the day while Haruhi shook her head exasperatedly. "Kyoya-senpai's even got him breathing fire."

"It was worth telling Tamaki that Samayu didn't show up for class today just to see him freak out," Kaoru said mischievously, grinning at his twin.

Haruhi sighed, irritated. "I swear, the two of you…" she began muttering slanders under her breath until she had exhausted her supply of insults, and then said conversationally, "Anyway, I think Samayu may have figured it out."

The twins stared at her. "Figured what out?"

"What do you think?" Haruhi asked. "But she's always staring at me like she can't figure out what I am. It's highly likely she's figured out by now that I'm a girl."

Hikaru laughed nervously. "Better not let the boss hear you say that."

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed, smiling wickedly. "We'll save that piece of information for a calmer day. It's no fun watching him go from freaking out to even more riled up. We prefer it when he's calm and suddenly hits the roof."

Tamaki's rant, increasing in volume, cut through the garden. "AND WHO EVER SAID THAT BEING A GENTLEMAN WAS SOMETHING TO BE SCORNED? IF YOU MUST KNOW, I—!"

"Tamaki," Kyoya interrupted him, silencing the blonde. "It's time."

Tamaki straightened up at once, adjusting his bowtie and regaining a sparkling aura. "All right, men! Let the cherry blossom viewing reception begin! Open the gates!"

As if by magic, the gates to the garden swung open to allow entry to a crowd of girls as the hosts greeted their guests in perfect unison, beaming. "Welcome, ladies!"

Tamaki searched for a girl with a sassy demeanor and fire in her piercing green eyes among the crowd, but she was nowhere. Samayu Yojin had not come.

Samayu

School seemed so… simple. Compared to what I was trying to endure by myself at the moment, facing the girls at Ouran who gossiped about me and locked me in closets would have been pleasant.

I was curled up in the fetal position on my bedroom floor, a bloody razor lying uselessly next to me. I had reopened all the cuts that had scarred up since last night and dug deeper into the ones that hadn't, and I found no relief. I hadn't come out of my room since Raito had released me and I had shut myself up inside and sliced into my body, trying to alleviate my internal torment. I found no relief.

Diary excerpt

The truth is, I've been contemplating suicide for a long time. The only problem is, that once I commit it, I forget that I'm going to die. Isn't that so stupid? I always imagine telling people off once they're sad I'm dead, even though they didn't give a damn about me when I was alive. Then I remember that once I've committed suicide, I won't be around to say anything. That scares me a lot.

I don't even know if anyone would care if I died. If no one cares about a dead person… do they even hold a funeral for them? Maybe they'd just put me six feet deep as soon as the coffin was ready.

I knew I couldn't hide forever. I had to rejoin the world sometime. That's how it always is. When I'm hurt, when I hurt myself like this, I only ever get a day. A day to recover… or try to. I have to return to reality. Put on a mask and act like I'm fine, when really, all I want to do is scream, beg, and plead with everyone – anyone – to help me. To please help me. I can only bear this pain for so much longer.

Tamaki

Tamaki had just finished discussing the "Operation: Conceal Haruhi's Gender" (also named "Operation: I swear Haruhi is a Boy!") for the umpteenth time the morning of physical exams, eager to keep Haruhi on as a host, dwelling on two dilemmas: the first was, of course, that Haruhi's secret about her gender was in jeopardy and the second being that Samayu had, once again, neglected to show up for school.

He ultimately was forced to choose between problems, and the more immediate was Haruhi's. He made an utter fool of himself pretending to be her when she was called for her physical – and nearly bit the twins' heads off when he realized they had set him up for humiliation – and all thoughts of Samayu and her absence fled his mind upon rescuing Haruhi inside a private clinic from a doctor who had been deemed a pervert – which he found out was little more than a girl's utterly wrong assumption. Once the man, a Dr. Yabu, was sent off on his way to the school his daughter attended, the reason he was even at Ouran in the first place, and Haruhi had kicked the hosts out of the place so her physical could be completed, Tamaki headed back up to the main clinic of the school with Kyoya. In their attempts to protect Haruhi's secret, they had neglected to receive their physicals yet.

Tamaki was slightly dejected that, due to their lateness, there would be a much smaller crowd of girls to witness it and therefore less publicity for the club, but as his thoughts were moving slowly back towards Samayu and protecting Haruhi's secret had been more important than gaining popularity among the female populace of Ouran, he didn't dwell on it too much.

Shockingly, nothing further out of the ordinary occurred and Tamaki and Kyoya made it back to the clinic with little incident. It wasn't until Tamaki's fingers had wrapped around the door handle that anything remotely interesting caught his attention. From inside, he heard a horrified, female voice exclaim, "What's going on?"

He knew that voice. His heart rate accelerating, Tamaki thrust open the door, eager to see Samayu for reasons even he couldn't explain.

She was chalk white and even a little green, and her gaze was fixated upon the row of doctors in the room, an expression of terror plastered across her face. She opened her mouth and stammered wordlessly for a few brief seconds before she managed to choke out, "Why are there so many d-d-doctors here?" She stuttered on the one word, growing noticeably greener.

Tamaki felt the baffling urge to wrap his arms around her. He wondered where on earth that impulse had come from. She'd punch him or something similar for sure. Maybe it was just his instincts as a host.

Samayu

I had shown up for school late this morning expecting a normal enough day with just a few questions by a couple of teachers wondering where I was. I had hit my arm on the door coming out of my family's mansion this morning and reopened some of my cuts, and had been forced to re-bandage the arm before heading off. I should have stayed home again. There I was, having a shitty morning already, going off to what I expected would be a normal school day, and this is what I found waiting for me!

I had gotten to Ouran and been brought at once to the school clinic by one of the school secretaries before any questions were asked or any answers given. And now here I was, standing inside a room filled with people that I was absolutely terrified of.

Upon my terrified inquiry, I heard a smooth, calm voice say from behind me, "The school's physical examinations are being conducted today."

I jolted and whirled around. Just perfect. Just what I needed. Kyoya Otori's smug expression and self-important clipboard in hand, accompanied by Tamaki Suoh, wearing an idiotic look on his face as he stared, open-mouthed, at me.

Kyoya seemed to have my answers, being the one who had spoken. Tamaki was just standing there uselessly, so I ignored him for the time being. I meant for my voice to come out sounding strong and confident, but what came out was weak and trembling. "Physical exams?" I repeated feebly.

"The process by which a doctor investigates the body of a patient for signs of disease," Kyoya drawled cockily. I got the feeling that he was deriving some sick pleasure from seeing me so distressed.

He was really trying to annoy me, wasn't he? "I know what a – a – what it is!" I snapped, sounding much more forceful, although I found myself unable to repeat the words physical exam. "What, they just do them without any warning?"

"Of course not," Kyoya smiled, a smile that told me he was masking smugness with friendliness. "They were announced yesterday."

"I wasn't here yesterday!" I all but shouted at him, furious. Now my stomach was churning and my blood was boiling. Wonderful. Just wonderful. "Why are they holding them?"

"Customary procedure, of course," Kyoya said smoothly. He still sounded friendly, the jerk. He was really laying it on thick. I wanted to slap the smirk right off his face. "It's required for all Japanese high school students. There isn't a problem, is there?"

Slap. It. Right. Off. His. Face.

I can't even begin to describe what was going on in my head. I was too damn frightened to even think clearly. It took forever for me to even begin to formulate an answer. After letting out a few shaky breaths, I finally stuttered out a pitiful lie. "O-of course not."

Raito would murder me if I let myself be examined by anyone but him. There are certain things he doesn't want anyone to see. For example, how would I explain how my breasts got so bruised? He also knows about my cutting – I didn't want to have to explain that to anybody else. Raito doesn't care about me and my addiction to the blade. As long as he gets to rape me whenever he feels like it, he doesn't care about me self-mutilating.

My breath was catching in my chest. Letting out a few short gasps, I said in a small voice, "It's just th-that… my stepfather prefers to… take care of all my… medical… requirements."

Tamaki finally spoke up, looking hesitant. Guess I was really freaking him out. "Um… my father and the Otori Group are in a business alliance… so the school only accepts physical exams from Otori Group doctors. A Mitsurugi Group exam… they wouldn't accept it."

Oh my god. I was freaking going to die. My heart was going to explode. My lungs were going to shrivel up. I was so panicked I couldn't even think up a snarky comment. The most I could do was go even paler and whisper, "And what happens if I… if I refuse to get one?"

There were seriously waves of sick enjoyment emanating off of Kyoya. I wanted to kill him. "Well, seeing as it's law… were you not to receive one – conducted by a doctor in the employment of the Otori Group– and turn it in to the school, I'd assume that alone would be grounds enough for suspension. Give it a week after that, I'd say it would warrant expulsion."

I'm fairly sure I would have gone insane by now if Kyoya wasn't making me so mad. I made a noise of astonishment and my vision blurred with tears of horror. Damn it. Was I really going to cry in front of that bastard? And the blonde idiot? Damn it.

And then it clunked into place. I could get expelled if I didn't get an exam from an Otori Group doctor. There was no way to win. If I didn't get one, I would get expelled and Raito would punish me so severely that I might actually die. If I did get one, Raito would still punish me so severely that I might actually die.

What the fuck was I going to do?

I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming but failed to stifle a squeal of horror. Shit, I'd let out an outward sign of my pathetic fear. Lowering my hand and trembling, I managed to whisper, "N-no."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow, smirking. "No?" he repeated. "You mean you deny that you could be expelled? Or are you refusing a—?"

"Stop it, Kyoya!" Tamaki suddenly burst, to both my and Kyoya's evident surprise. My jaw dropped and I turned to stare at him, wide-eyed. Kyoya's demeanor was calm, but I could sense that he'd been just as startled by Tamaki's outburst as I had been.

Tamaki straightened his posture and said resolutely, "Stop frightening her. She's already scared enough, can't you see that? Leave her alone! I know your families are rivals, but can't you just lay off of her for one minute?"

I was dreaming. That had to be it. No way was Tamaki Suoh defending me. No way.

Kyoya recovered rather quickly, smirking and adjusting his glasses by pushing them further up the bridge of his nose. "Alright, then. You deal with this as you see fit, Tamaki."

And just like that, he walked right past me and further into the clinic. "I suppose it's my turn," he said nonchalantly, offering Tamaki a casual wave. "I'll see you at the club meeting, then."

It's not that I enjoyed Kyoya's company, but honestly… now he was leaving me alone with Tamaki Suoh. There was no way this could end well.

Tamaki didn't seem too thrilled about it, either. Neither of us seemed to be able to say a word. We just stared at one another.

After a moment, Tamaki finally said softly, "Samayu?"

And with that single word, I broke down.

Oooh! What's going to happen next? Send me your thoughts! Your hopes! I want to hear them!

I'll be back in town Saturday, and since I do most of my writing Saturday nights, I may actually have chapter eleven posted by next Sunday morning! In the meantime, I'll dwell upon my plot for the next chapter as I'm camp counseling up in technological isolation!

So, I'll plead with you to shoot me some reviews within 24 hours if you can... I want to know what you thought before I leave!

And now I am going to go finish (and possibly post) chapter one of my newest fic for Pet Shop of Horros (anybody out there remember that manga? Or the anime, which I didn't like at all...)

See you on the flip side!