A/N: as pointless and irritating as the bount arc was, i do love the mod-souls. i'm on season 10 and i haven't seen them in a while, so i missed them. someone please tell me they come back eventually?

A/N: pardon me, i don't know anything about poker, so there may be some inaccuracies. i tried not to talk about the actual game, lol.

Drabble collection: when in doubt, bleach it out

We are the sum of our experiences. We do not tremble. We do not fall. We conquer. -full cast, at various points

Title: royal flush

Summary: The mod-souls play poker, smoke cigars, and gossip. –Lirin/Kurodo/Noba/Kon

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The room was dark and smoky; they'd already been smoking and drinking scotch for half an hour when someone suggested a round or two of poker. The rest of the company grinned maliciously, but it was the little birdy stuffed animal who said: "I'm going to clean all of you of your wallets."

"As if, you idiot," Kon replied, already proceeding to shuffle a deck expertly. In one swift movement, everyone had cards in their hands.

Kurodo took a long drag off his cigar with an elongated ear and said: "I wish Orihime-chan was here."

"Add to that big Sis and Matsumoto," Kon answered, with a big, dirty grin. It was so out of place on a stuffed lion about the size of a hand.

"Hell no," Lirin said, "because then we'd have all of those idiots in the middle of our game. And especially not Kuchiki and Ichigo. I'm not about to watch them watch each other for three hours." A vein was sticking out of her stuffed head.

"It's kind of sweet," Noba murmured, barely audible.

Kurodo gasped at his comrade's comment, but proceeded to diss it, saying, "No! Without a doubt, the best couple is definitely Orihime-chan and Kurosaki-kun. And besides that, Kuchiki belongs with Renji in the Soul Society world anyway, kind of like Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san."

That's when Kon blanched. "Ugh, Renji's even worse than Ichigo. Did you see how they both beat me up the other day? I'll be happy to see that guy go back home!"

"Play the damn game!" Lirin roared at all of them, sick of the conversation. "You can ship everyone another time."

"You're the only one distracted, Lirin," Kon smirked, showing his hand. "A full house. I win." As his little fabric claws began to shuffle again, he said: "You're just mad, because you want that strawberry all to yourself."

The birdy blushed and dropped her mouth open (as well as her cards, so they had to shuffle again). "N-no! Who wants to have anything to do with that idiot?!"

"Everyone and their mother, it seems," Kon said, none too jealously. "Even Big Sis! I mean, what does she see in him?! I'm not okay with it."

"Oh calm down, we all know it's Orihime-chan and Kurosaki-kun at the end of the day." Kurodo sipped his scotch into his rabbit-head, looking smug despite his pinkness.

"I'm not convinced of that," Lirin said, very thoughtful all of a sudden. She was staring at her hand as she spoke, so they all assumed she was buying herself some time. "Ichigo always trains harder and fears less when Kuchiki is around."

"She did change his life." Kon nodded.

"It's more than that," Noba conceded now, showing a terrible hand.

"Well, how about this?" Kurodo triumphantly displayed a winning hand, and Kon growled.

"Cheater!"

"Nope, I just have wonderful abilities to see into other people's hearts, just as I can see Orihime and Kurosaki will end up together!"

"You're drunk!" they all burst at him, but he was happily chanting the bridal procession and mimicking wedding bells.

"And Kuchiki is dead, a soul, if you recall," Kurodo said very seriously. "Kurosaki-kun needs a living, breathing, beautiful, busty, happy—"

"You sound pretty in love with Orihime yourself!" Lirin threwe down her cards and smiled a triumphant smile. "I win this round, bitches."

"Of course I am, who isn't?"

"Ichigo," Lirin said flatly. "He'd go after that dead broad his entire life if he could." She stared at a new hand that Kon gave her, frowning deeply. "And besides, Ishida and Orihime look beautiful together."

"Ah, then what about Renji?" Kurodo countered.

She shrugged. "Who cares about that freeloader?"

"Kuchiki," Noba said, laying down a winning hand. They all stared at the little green (what is he, exactly?)—but then he added hastily: "Love is complicated, y'know—"

"Mm, is it now, Noba?"

Urahara was standing at the door, his fan in front of his face, but they could all see his wide smirk and his dangerous, plotting eyes.

"You all are just a wellspring of useful information."

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fin.

A/N: please review

A/N: A/N: i'd also like to ask my readers at this point, which of my chapters so far as been your favorite? it'll help me make decisions in the future. you can do so by review or PM. thank you 3