Okay I know I already posted today. BUTTT I couldn't help myself. Plus, this is making up for the days on end when I didn't post. Besides, this is what I snow day will do to you. Enjoy...there's sexiness to come ^^ Please please leave me comments I truly want to know what you all think!
"I cannot believe you would do this to me," Jacob growls as he paces back and forth through the living room area in his house. I'm becoming quite annoyed with his mindless banter and it's taking every single cell inside my body not to get angry at him.
"I don't see why you're so mad. I didn't do anything."
Jacob thumps his fist into the wall. It cracks a bit and it causes my breath to catch inside my chest. I have forgotten that I am not the only supernatural one in the room. I look at Jacob and bite my lip. A part of me feels awful for letting him see me with Edward. I never wanted to betray him. I loved Jacob, he's like my brother, and I know the hatred he has for Edward. If only I could go back in time, I'd take it back. I wouldn't have let my feelings run away with me. Jacob runs his hands through his hair hastily with a sigh. He places his forehead against the white wall.
"Of all the people Leah, why him?" I swallow hard and walk slowly close to him. I stop as I am inches away from his body. I can see that he is tense in his shoulders and I desperately want to soothe him. I want to reach out and place my hand on his shoulder, but, I know better than to.
"Nothing happened Jake," I murmur. He looks up at me with a ruthless look on his face,
"Oh, and I'm guessing you guys were that close because you were telling a funny joke?" I cross my arms around my chest. "It must have been hilarious." He says sarcastically.
"He was telling me something. I couldn't hear him properly so I got a little closer to him…" It's a stupid lie. I even know that but I had to say something. Maybe his anger would cloud his judgment and he'd leave the subject alone. Least, that is what I am hoping.
"That's shit Leah and you know it,"
"Stop screaming at me," I argue.
"Now you're making me feel like the bad guy! Look at what happened to Bella." I roll my eyes at the thought of her fake fainting. Of course Jake had become so outraged over her little incident. He had taken her home, Edward offered to come with, but of course Jacob declined rather forcefully. I was actually quite happy he did because that would have been a rather awkward situation. Plus a part of me feared if Edward saw Bella again would those same feelings flair back up? I mean sure, he had left her, why I'm not quite sure. Did he still have those same feelings for her? Or where they gone forever?
"Jake, I'm sorry okay." I want to say more but I know that everything I'm saying doesn't matter. Jake's always been stubborn and all the words I'm saying to him might as well be gibberish. I know I will not win this fight tonight. I could read it in his face that it would take more than words to win him over. It would take some time, but, I know that I will gradually win his trust again.
"I'm going to visit Bella again." He says as he grabs his leather jacket that is hanging up against the coat rack. I watch him as he hurriedly throws on the jacket and walks toward the door.
"You want me to come with?"
"No," he says instantly and his tone of voice really does hurt my feelings. He's never been this hostile with me. "I think you've done enough for tonight." Before I can say anything else he slams the door behind him.
I am left in the quiet house starring at the door with different emotions filling my mind. This has to be worse than being home alone before. At least while I was going through my turning process Jacob had been there. He has always been there for me. Now, I feel so alone, abandoned. Of course I could leave no one was stopping me from running out of this place. But, that would only betray his trust more. No, I would wait here until he got back and I would try and reason with him again. I know another part of why he's angry is because he didn't want Edward to hurt me, like he hurt Bella. I was stronger than her though, why couldn't he see I was so much more careful than she was. I had never truly been in love and the sexiness that was Edward wouldn't make me break down my walls. No matter how undoubtedly attractive he was.
After a couple moments of starring at the door I turn back on my heel and walk back towards my bedroom. I open the door and turn on my bedroom lights. The house is eerily quiet and for a moment I contemplate turning on my ipod. The silence is making my thoughts way too loud. I decide to take a long shower. The water feels so nice on my skin. The heat from the steam pours into my flesh and for a moment I don't want to leave the shower. I want to stay here and be content with life. I think about everything that occurred. It's funny how the shower has become my daily therapy session.
I open the shower door and dry my long damp hair with the towel then I blow dry it. I find my pink pajama bottoms and t shirt and slide them onto my body. I continue to run my hands through my hair as I walk back to my bedroom. I jump as I notice Edward standing close to my window. I drop the towel that was in my hand and I can see his smug smile develop on his face.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see if Jacob had torn you to pieces." There is a bit of sarcasm in his voice but it definitely wasn't a laughing matter. If Jacob really wanted to he probably could have.
"Ha, Ha, very funny," I say as I pick up the towel and hang it on the back of my bedroom door closing it. I know Jacob isn't here but a part of me is afraid he will return in any second and find us here together…alone…
My heart beats rapidly in my chest at the thought of me and Edward Cullen being alone. I have to clear my thoughts though. If I dwelled on them for too long Jacob would be able to read them perfectly and I couldn't have that.
I can feel Edward closer on me and as I turn around my suspicions are accurate. He is very close and it causes me to swallow hard and not let my mouth hang open like an idiot.
"No, but in all sincerity, I apologize for getting you into trouble," I move past him. I have to get a farther distance so that I can think better.
"You seem to be doing me more bad than good Mr. Cullen. Need I say you're bad for me?" I turn around to face him with a slight smirk. He does that perfectly side smile and it makes me want to pick up where we've left off in front of the theater. I fiddle with my bed covers taking it off and placing it on the floor. It's way too hot of a night to cover myself with it.
"You only need to ask me to leave and I'll have to comply." His words are like poetry, and I desperately want to read, analyze, and memorize it. I turn back around and run my hands through my hair, it's still quite damp.
"I can't say that I want you too." I mutter as I sit down on the edge of my bed. I stare at him in the eyes as he slowly comes closer.
"It's a pity, I cannot seem to stay away from you either,"
"Do you want to stay away from me?" He looks down momentarily at the floor as if all his answers lie there. His forehead scrunches at the top and it's the most human, the most normal, I have ever seen him. He didn't seem to be perfect then because it shows that he too fumbled with the world. He looks up and his glossy golden eyes attach to mines and it's like an imaginary rope bringing him closer to me.
"No," is the only thing he says.
"I don't want you to," I whisper. He turns towards the side looking away from me and for a moment I feel as if I have lost him. The wall that separates us has grown larger and I cannot climb across.
"It is not the wisest choice for us to be this careless-"
"I don't care." I know it sounds selfish but I truly don't care. All my life I have put other people before myself, taken their needs into consideration. What about what I wanted. Didn't I have the right to make myself happy? I stand up and in two steps I'm close to him. I touch the side of his face, I'm being very frank, I can tell my abrupt touch startles him. I turn his face to face mine. His face is so freezing, the fire inside my body sparks within me.
"Leah, don't," however I can sense the doubt inside his voice. He's not telling me to do anything. He's simply stating it's my choice. If I did what I wanted there would be no turning back.
"I'm tired of playing it safe." I say before I press my lips onto his.
It's like a fire has started within me. It blazes from the pit of my feet to my chest whirling around inside my head. I clutch onto his shoulders as I press my body deeper into him. He doesn't seem to care as he wraps his arms around my waist. It's like I'm sharing his breath, breathing in his scent and his thoughts. My fingers push up towards his tousled locks as I play freely through the blades of his hair. I push closer to him and despite my knowledge I have backed him up against the wall. I can tell my strength is a lot stronger than what I thought. He growls slowly in the pit of his throat, and I don't know if it's from annoyance or sexual desire. Either way, he doesn't stop but merely continues. I deepen our kiss removing my hands from his hair to knit my wrists behind his neck. He grabs me tightly as his hand trails down my back lifting me up into his arms. He's so strong and I want to melt into him. My legs go around his body as he moves away from the wall. Our lips never stop dancing against each others.
He gently places me down on my bed and crawls on top of me. I allow him too in fact I welcome him conform like putty against the curves of my body. I have such a rush of courage, a new feeling blooming over me. It's like I've been a caterpillar for so long and finally I'm peeling away my old layer of skin and becoming a butterfly.
My fingers begin to unbutton the top button of his shirt and he winces away. He looks down at me and I can see the pure lust, want, growing inside his vision. His lips are slightly swollen and I can't imagine how mine must look. I'm hurt, I don't want him to stop, he can't stop, I wanted him more than ever now. "Don't stop," I beg him.
"This is wrong Leah," I place my hand on the side of his cheek and I can feel him shutter against my soft warm touch. I could tell his instincts are giving in. I realize that he's just as drawn towards me as I am to him.
"Who's to say what's right Edward?" He shakes his head,
"I could hurt you. If you were smart you'd stay away from me. We're no good for each other." His eyes are pleading as if he truly wanted me to know that he never wanted to hurt me. My fingers slightly glide down towards his swollen lower lip and I can tell its sending sensations shooting through his body.
"Why would I want that?" I lean in closer tasting his lower lip feeling the soft skin that dwells there. It's too much for either of us to bare. I want more, my body craves him closer to me. I kiss him more forcefully seeing if he will protest. For a moment I believe I have won him over that he's given in to his desires. I smile to myself, I feel triumphant. I unbutton the second button.
"Leah," He growls against my lips. I open my eyes to stare at his pleading face. "I can never lose control when I'm with you. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell." I bite my lower lip starring at his lips. Well that is one of the smartest things he's said in awhile because I sure wanted to be closer with him.
"I'm a big girl Edward I know what I'm doing. I'm not fragile like her." I touch my nose against his and I can feel his lips press against my forehead. I sigh underneath him even with the littlest bit of an embrace."
"I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore." He whispers against my ear. It's as if I'm the only one meant to hear it. I kiss the side of his face trailing kisses along the planes of his cheek back towards his lips,
"I don't want you too," is the last thing I say before pressing my lips back down onto his. I press my body closer to his moving my hands up his shirt this time. I allow myself to feel the harsh lean skin over his muscles. I trail away from his lips towards the crook of his neck where I breathe him in. He moans slightly on top of me and it's just the motivation that I need to continue. I feel such comfort next to him as if our bodies were formed perfectly for each other. I push him backwards and make my way on top of him. My curtain of dark hair falls along his face shielding our affection from the world. My lips prance back towards his and he glides his frost bitten hands against the lower part of my spine. We are Fire and Ice combining and amalgamating into one.
"Leah, I'm home." I tense at Jake's voice and I immediately look down at Edward. He understands that he must leave. In the quickest movement I've ever seen he's lifted me up, delicately, like I was a rag doll, and placed me on the bed. He's up and dart towards the window. He gives me one last look and he can read the sadness inside my eyes.
"We'll finish this conversation tomorrow," he says matter-of-factly, I nod.
"I look forward to it." Before anything else is said he's gone out the window just as quickly as he had come in.