The One in Paris
Previously on Friends:
Ross is sitting on the couch reading "National Geographic". Rachel walks in and has a very stern look on her face. Ross looks stunned she is here. He invites her to sit down, but she refuses.
Rachel: Ross, we need to talk.
Ross: What's wrong?
Rachel: I've been offered a new job in Paris.
Opening Theme
(Two Months Later)
Scene opens in Monica's house. Rachel, Monica, and Chandler are sitting in the living room watching TV.
Monica: So, Rach, don't you have to be getting ready for your flight right about now?
Rachel: Yeah. I should be going. Man, I'm going to really miss you guys.
Chandler: So you still haven't talked to Ross?
Rachel: No, he won't answer my calls, and whenever I get to our apartment, he's gone.
Monica: Yeah, it's really been getting him down. It's been two days since I've talked to him, but you can still tell he's really upset.
Rachel: I really need to talk to him. If you see him, tell him to call me.
Monica: Okay.
Rachel: I'm going to go get Emma now.
Rachel leaves.
Monica and Chandler just stand motionless for five minutes. Ross quietly walks in without them knowing.
Chandler: Man, Ross must be depressed.
Monica: Yeah. I can't believe he's losing both of them.
Chandler: Too bad he can't just go after her in Paris.
Ross: Thanks guys!
Ross leaves immediately.
Chandler/Monica: Crap!
Scene closes and opens in Joey's apartment. Joey and his date are making out on his couch. Ross rushes in and startles the pair.
Ross: Joey! Get dressed and meet me at the airport! We're going after Rachel!
Joey's date starts out the door.
Joey: No! Wait!
Joey looks angrily at Ross. Ross runs out of the apartment.
Ross(Screaming down the Hall): Meet me at the airport in one hour!
Scene closes and opens at Newark Airport. The five friends along with Mike are in line to board.
Monica: I can't believe you talked us all into going with you, Ross! I'm just glad Mom could baby sit Jack and Erika on such short notice.
Phoebe: I can. Like I've said before, Paris is a city of Gunthers! I wasn't about to miss out on that!
Everyone stares at Phoebe.
Joey: Well you didn't have to come and ruin my date that was just about to amount to something!
Ross: You were making out on the couch!
Joey: So? That was just the pre-game!
Everyone shudders.
Chandler: Well it's okay with me. Keith and Kendra were going to come over tomorrow and give us full body makeovers.
Ross: Your new neighbors really seem to be obsessed with seeing you two naked.
Monica: It's frightening.
Lady over an intercom comes on and announces last call for flight 105 Paris.
Ross: This is it.
The gang boards the plane.
Scene closes and opens in a Paris airport.
The gang is coming out of the gate and heading towards customs.
Mike: It was completely uncalled for!
Joey: What? It so was not!
Ross: What happened?
Mike: Joey came into the bathroom while I was in there!
Joey: What's wrong with that?
Mike: There's only one room!
Joey: So?
Mike: You started to pee in the same toilet as me!
The whole group stares at Joey.
Joey: What? We both got the same stuff!
The group continues to stare.
Monica: So where did Rach say she worked?
Ross: Some place called Est Maintenant à la mode on 5th street.
Chandler: What does that even mean?
Mike: Now is the Fashion.
All stare at him.
Mike: What? In law school they made us learn French, Spanish, and German in case of international cases.
Joey: And they thought I was weird.
Group exits airport.
Scene closes and opens in a five-star hotel lobby. The gang is entering and heading to the check-in desk. They all start to head towards the desk.
Joey: Ooh! Cookies!
Joey leaves to eat cookies.
Phoebe: Mon, you did get a two bedroom suite so we could all share, right?
Monica: Of course.
The person in front of the group finishes and it is Monica and Chandler's turn.
John(the clerk): How may I help you?
Monica: The Double room suite. Name: Bing.
John: Ok. Here's your room key.
Monica: So how long are you and your brother planning on staying in our fair city?
Monica and Chandler glance at each other.
Monica: This is my husband!
John: Oh, that's a shame. You could've done way better. What about blondie over there?
Phoebe: Thanks, but I'm also married.(Phoebe points to Ross)Now Ross is all alone!
Ross whimpers and walks away towards Joey who is munching on free cookies.
Ross: So do you want to share a room to cut down the cost?
Joey: Okay, but I get the living room bed.
Ross: Crap!
Scene closes and opens in Ross and Joey's hotel room. There are two beds in the center of the room.
Joey: I call the one closest to the TV!
Ross: I have got to start thinking clearer!
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Mike all walk in.
Monica: Okay, I thought that we would go grab some lunch at one of those outside cafés and pick up some food, then head to Rachel's studio and surprise her with lunch.
Ross: Sounds like a plan.
The group heads out the door.
Scene closes and opens in the lobby of Est Maintenant à la mode. Joey and the group walk in the door. He has raspberry sauce all over his white shirt.
Chandler: You do know that when someone yells DUCK! That it usually means a Frisbee is heading towards your head right?
Joey: How was I supposed to know that's what that French guy meant?
Chandler: I was the one who yelled it!
Monica, Ross, and Phoebe and Mike head to the desk while Joey and Chandler argue.
Secretary: How may I help you?
Phoebe: Yes, may we see Rachel Greene?
Secretary: I'm sorry, but Ms. Greene is in the middle of a photo shoot at this moment. That and I really shouldn't allow that man covered in raspberries up into the loft.
Monica: I'm sorry, but we were her best friends back in New York.
Secretary: Oh, your those guys! Oh, Ms. Greene never stops talking about you.(Angrily)I mean NEVER!
They all stare at her nervously.
Secretary: Maybe if she sees you guys, it will shut her up for a while.
Secretary pushes a button and a buzzing sound alarms. The elevator behind the desk opens.
Secretary: Before you go, I must ask that this…man changes.
Joey: Into what?
The secretary picks up a shirt from behind the counter and walks over to Joey. She rips the shirt off of him and buttons up the new one.
Joey looks alarmed throughout the whole process.
The group heads up and scene closes. Scene opens with Rachel directing a photo shoot of a man and a woman in very marvelous dress clothes.
Rachel(in French): More flare! More Sexy!(turning to a taco, bites, and looks dissatisfied(In English)) More meat!
Group comes up the elevator and walks out into the penthouse loft. Rachel turns around and gasps.
Rachel: OMG!(Turning to crew) Cut! Cut! Take 5 everybody!
Crew disassembles.
Rachel: Oh, you guys!
Rachel heads towards the group and hugs them all.
Monica: Wow! You sure have made quite a life for yourself here!
Phoebe: It's hard to believe it's only been three weeks.
Rachel: Yeah. It was pretty hard the first week, but then I took a class on all the words you need to know in the fashion industry and office small talk, so I'm good.
Mike: I'm glad you're having fun. I spent a whole month here studying the language. Before we go, I need to give you a tour of the town. I went everywhere.
Phoebe shoves her husband out of the way.
Phoebe: Rach!
Rachel: Pheebs!
Rachel and Phoebe hug. Rachel hugs Chandler and then Joey.
Joey: Hey, your hot secretary ripped off my shirt!
Rachel: Oh yeah. The French are more secure with bodies, so it's not an issue for them.
Joey makes a puzzling face.
Rachel turns to Ross. They both hug.
Rachel: I'm glad you came.
Ross: Me too. So where's Emma?
Rachel: I have a nanny and she's hanging out in my penthouse.
Joey: Penthouse?!
Rachel: Not like the magazine! But yeah. The company lets me rent it for a very cheap rate. It's almost as cheap as my half of the rent back at Monica's, and twice as big as the whole thing.
Monica tries not to be jealous.
Monica: So, we brought you some lunch!
Rachel: Oh, it's not French food is it?
Monica:…well…yeah.
Rachel: Yuck! I had that food for the last three weeks! I finally broke down today and bought me a taco, but they are so health conscious that it barely had any meat in them.
Monica: So what are we going to do with this food?
Joey: I'm on it!
Joey heads to the bag of food.
Phoebe: So you get to direct all of this?
Rachel: Well not all the time. Only when I design the outfits.(Rachel indicates towards the formal ware on the models)
Monica: Oh! I love that dress!
Rachel: Great! Kimberly?
Rachel's assistant rushes over.
Kimberly: Yes Madame?
Rachel: Pleas retrieve a size Medium Type C Ballgown from the storage room please?
Kimberly: Yes, Madame.
Monica: Wow! You have your own assistant?
Rachel: Yeah. It's was really cool at first, but not so much anymore.
Mike: Really?
Rachel: No, It ROCKS!
Chandler: So do you have to do anything else today, or can you come with us and go sight seeing?
Rachel: I really should stay and finish the shoot, but…Okay!
Kimberly rushes back from the elevator carrying a gown.
Rachel: Thank you Kimberly. Please tell Elena that I am clocking out early today.
Kimberly: Yes, Madame.
Kimberly rushes back to the elevator.
Rachel: SO COOL!
Scene closes and opens with the group standing on the Eiffel Tower. The group is standing all in line looking over the city.
Ross(Thinking): Wow. This would be the perfect time to apologize to Rachel. It is just so dang romantic up here. I think I'll just mosy on over there and…
As Ross starts to head closer to Rachel, Mark comes up the elevator.
Ross: Crap!
Everyone including Mark looks at Ross.
Ross: I think I dropped my gum.
Rachel: Hey, Mark!
Mark and Rachel exchange double kisses.
Rachel: I invited Mark to come hang out with us today. Well not US.(she points to herself, Monica, and Phoebe) but you guys.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Yeah. I have reservations for us girls to go to the Détente Dim spa house. I also have reservations for you five to go to the man's side of the spa to get massages and mud baths.
Chandler: Doesn't that sound kind of girly?
Monica: Oh what do you know? You take bubble baths all the time at the house.
Everyone laughs at Chandler.
Mark: It is actually very relaxing. You sit in the tubs, go to the steam rooms, head for your massage, and then back to the baths. It's very soothing.
Chandler: Fine.
The group heads towards the elevator.
Scene closes and opens at the spa house. All five guys are in robes and are heading towards the steam room/massage part of the building.
The group heads into the steam room wearing waist towels.
They all sit down.
Ross: Ahh! That steam feels so good!
Mark: Yeah, it really helps to come here after a stressful day at work.
Joey: So what are we doing later?
Mark: I talked to Rachel and I think that we're going to get a bite to eat.
Joey: Great! I'm starving!
Chandler: You just had a large triple patty melt with onion rings!
Joey: That was a snack!
Mike: So Mark, do you guys have any good piano bars here?
Mark: Nah, we don't really like those places. They're too cheesy.
Mike begins to sulk.
Mark: You guys ready to head to our massages?
Everyone agrees.
The group heads out and goes back to the locker room.
They begin to get fresh towels and checking on their stuff in the lockers.
Chandler: Where's my bag?
Joey: I don't know.
Joey laughs under his breath.
Chandler looks over to see his bag hanging in the shower next to a sweaty hairy guy.
Chandler: Oh, real funny, Joe.
Joey laughs out loud.
Chandler goes to get it.
Guy: Oh, is this your bag?
Chandler: Yes.
Guy: Oh, I'm sorry. I just put my dirty underpants in there. I didn't know who's it was.
Chandler: Oh, come on! You know what? Keep it.
Chandler begins to head out.
Ross: Where are you going?
Chandler: Back to the hotel to get more clothes.
Just as Chandler is about to leave, Joey steals his towel and shoves him out the door.
Chandler: Joey! This isn't funny!
Chandler begins to run off.
Joey and the rest of the guys start to laugh.
Scene closes and opens in the lounge room. The guys are sitting in their robes when the girls come in also wearing robes.
Rachel: So how was your girlie day out?
Ross: It was great.
All of the other guys agree.
Monica: I don't know about ours. That guy that massaged us looked kind of familiar.
Phoebe: You just weren't used to someone that muscular rubbing you. You're used to flabby Chandler, that's all.
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: I don't know…
Rachel: Oh, by the way you guys, I have reservations at the steakhouse on main at six, so let's head back to the hotel and get ready.
Scene closes and opens in Ross and Joey's hotel room.
Scene opens at the Steakhouse. All eight are around the table and are preparing to eat their food.
Everyone clanks their glasses together.
Everyone: Cheers!
Everyone drinks champagne.
Rachel takes a bite out of her Ravioli.
Rachel: Ow!
Rachel pulls a ring out of her ravioli.
Rachel glares at Ross.
Rachel: Of all the nerve! You dare put an engagement ring in my food after what you did to Mark? What is wrong with you?!
Rachel storms out.
Ross: Rach, wait!
Everyone looks at Ross.
Ross: What? I didn't do it!
Phoebe: Well Ross, it is very like you to do something like that!
Ross: But I didn't do it!
Monica: Well, if you didn't…then…
Everyone looks at Mark.
Mark: Yeah…
Ross leaves immediately.
Monica: Hey, Phoebe.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: That's the same guy from the spa house.
Phoebe: Wow, you're right. Maybe it's just his night job.
Monica: Well, maybe…Oh no! I forgot about him! He's the guy from the check-in desk in the hotel!
Monica gets up and goes over to the waiter.
Monica: Well listen here, buddy!
John: What?
Monica: You thought you could stalk me and I wouldn't find out?
John: But I…
Monica: But nothing! Get out of my life you creep!!!
Monica slaps him across the face.
John: What did I do?
Monica: Did you not understand what I just said? Stop stalking me!
John: But it wasn't me!
Monica: Of course it was! You were the guy from the hotel AND the spa house too!
John: But those were my triplet brothers!
Monica gasps.
Monica: I'm sorry I disturbed you.
Monica sits back down.
John leaves to the bathroom.
John looks at pictures he took from Monica's massage.
John: HAHAHA!!!
Scene closes and opens at Rachel's Penthouse. Rachel is sitting on her couch and crying. Ross enters.
Ross: Rach,…
Rachel: Just go away Ross.
Ross: But…
Rachel: But nothing! I thought that once you got here, you'd be mature about our situation and just accept it, but apparently you just wanted to go the extra step to embarrass me! How dare you-
Ross: It was Mark's ring!
Rachel: What?
Ross: It was Mark who was going to propose.
Rachel: But…
The door buzzes. Rachel heads to the intercom.
Rachel: Who is it?
Mark: It's me.
Rachel: Come on up. Ross! You've got to hide!
Ross hides in Rachel's walk-in living room closet.
Mark comes in the door.
Mark: So there was something I was wanting to ask you back in the restaurant, but you sort of stormed out before I could ask.
Rachel(Nervously): What?
Mark kneels on one knee.
Mark: Rachel Greene, will you marry me?
Ending Credits
Monica, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, and Mike are at the restaurant.
Monica: Why didn't you propose to me like that?
Chandler: I was planning on something like that, but you did it first!
Monica: Only because you wouldn't stop talking about pig woo-hoo!
Phoebe: Yeah, I remember Mike proposed to me in many novelty ways. I just wouldn't keep my mouth shut.
Monica: At least Ross and Rachel are getting back together.
Joey: I wish I had somebody.
Waitress walks up.
Joey: How you doin'?
Joey gets up.
Joey and waitress leave together.
*Executive Producer: CapitolPress
Co-Producer: Boris Yeltsin
Author's Note: Thanks to my new friend Boris Yeltsin for the idea of the stalker! This episode was originally in two parts as many of you may know from my episode list, but I wanted to get the story out there so much, so I made it into a super-size episode to make it up to all of you who have stuck by me even though my last episode was kind of crumby and I haven't been able to keep up with my release dates.
TTYL,
CapitolPress