Things Never Change

Chapter 10 Silent Promise

Disclaimer: I don't own anything really…

AN: Whew I re-wrote every chapter, well more like beefed them up and fixed stuff here and there. I also found a beta reader to help me out! So that's a huge help! So if you like give a look at my hard work! I really didn't change anything significant so there's no need too. Well I'm pleased with all the reviews I received so far! Thank you very much! Sorry for the delay in posts this chapter was really difficult for some reason…

The two slept peacefully through most of the afternoon. Shikamaru's sleep was disturbed sometime around three that afternoon, by a knock at the door. He must have missed the first few knocks as the one he heard was unusually loud for a first knock. The brunette slowly sat up listening to the knocks grow louder, he stared at Naruto who was still sleeping with a peaceful look upon his face. Shikamaru smiled at the sleeping blonde. The knocks grew even louder and he decided they weren't going to just go away whoever it was. He crawled across the bed and Naruto in his rush to the door muttering how 'troublesome' it was the whole time. Well by his standards he was rushing. The knocking continued as the lazy shinobi rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He entered the living room and finally reached the door. He could hear the person ranting most likely about the long wait at the door. Shikamaru sighed as he placed his hand on the door and turned the handle. He opened it hoping it wasn't anyone too troublesome as he was still too tired to deal with anyone like that.

"It's about time you lazy ass! Do you know how long we were waiting?! I was so worried something happened!"

'Great…Ino…one of the most troublesome women I know….' He sighed looking over to Ino's right and brightened up a bit at the sight of Chouji who was holding a bag full of Shikamaru's clothes along with some food.

"Hey." He said to Chouji ignoring Ino's ranting.

"Hey."

"So what's up you guys?" he asked hoping nothing was wrong, though he doubted they'd be so calm if something had happened.

Ino's ranting had subsided remembering the reason they were there.

"Well, I figured maybe I should visit you and Naruto…and maybe look at Naruto's wounds to see how they're healing. By the way how is he?" her tone was concerned.

Shikamaru thought for a second he really wasn't sure how Naruto was doing other than his injuries seemed to be doing a lot better with the stitches removed, but mentally Shikamaru really had no idea how the blonde was fairing. Naruto smiles but it's hard to know what lye behind that ridiculous grin of his. He hadn't bothered to ask the blonde, even now it was killing him little by little. It was something Shikamaru avoided asking at all costs. He didn't think he could handle hearing Naruto say he wanted to die. Shikamaru didn't know at all.

"His wounds seem a bit better…" was all the brunette had to say about Naruto's condition.

They stood awkwardly in the doorway with Shikamaru blocking their entrance. Ino looked puzzled why he hadn't invited them in yet. He was trying to think of what to do. Would it be okay to invite them into Naruto's apartment or would he get upset? Shikamaru doubted Naruto wanted anyone to see how he lived. Ino looked at Shikamaru impatiently while he decided whether or not to let them in. He thought having someone with medical training check on his wounds was a good idea, but would Naruto allow anyone to touch him yet? The brunette wasn't sure what to do. In the midst of thought something hard collided with his body and almost knocked the wind from him. When he opened his eyes Ino was already in the apartment looking around.

'Troublesome woman.'

"Ino! I didn't invite you in here!" he hissed.

"I just want to check on Naruto's wounds then I'll leave…" her voice trailed as she looked around the grimy little apartment.

By this point Shikamaru had invited Chouji in who had waited on the doorstep happily munching on some barbecue potato chips. Shikamaru took the food and bag of clothes from Chouji and thanked him. Ino's eyes traveled the tiny apartment in disgust. The smell of mold hit her as she walked further into Naruto's home. She covered her nose unconsciously. The smell wasn't quite that bad she was just being a bit dramatic in Shikamaru's opinion.

"This is Naruto's apartment? How could anyone live here?" she cringed.

"Hey keep it down." Shikamaru whispered "Naruto's sleeping."

Ino was able to see straight into Naruto's bedroom due to the door being knocked down. The lazy shinobi had yet to put it back up like promised after he broke it down.

"Um…where?"

Shikamaru whipped around looking directly into Naruto's bedroom to see the blonde was no longer in bed. Shikamaru's face dropped as he looked around.

'Where the hell is he?'

Ino's face now held worry as Shikamaru checked the bedroom and the bathroom again. Naruto wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere in the apartment, it was then the brunette realized the bedroom window was open. He stood frozen watching the curtains blow in the breeze.

"Shit." He said aloud at the sight of the window.

"Where do you think he is?"

"I don't know." Shikamaru replied slightly agitated by what had been in his opinion a dumb question. If he knew he wouldn't be so worried would he?

"Why did he leave?"

"That's what worries me. We gotta find him."

"You don't think…he'd…try again do you?" asked Ino.

Shikamaru looked down at the ground sadly. Is that what he went to do? He wasn't sure. After what happened the other day, it wouldn't surprise him. Naruto had had a complete mental breakdown. Shikamaru's fears were displayed on his face for his team mates to read, but he didn't care. Right now all he cared about was finding Naruto.

"We gotta find him now!" yelled Shikamaru.

"Hai." replied Chouji and Ino in unison.

They all went their separate ways in the search for their friend. Shikamaru ran frantically hoping the blonde had just stepped out for some ramen. At this point Shikamaru would be happy to find the blonde training even though he wasn't supposed to be. His heart throbbed painfully in his rib cage as he ran. He stopped at Ichiraku Ramen stand in hopes Naruto was eating there. His eyes scanned quickly seeing no one and he kept running around Konoha. His mind raced.

'Where the hell would he go?!'

Shikamaru headed to the bridge he knew that Naruto's team met up at, but no one was there. Then to the training grounds he usually used, but the blonde was still nowhere to be found. The what-if's started going through Shikamaru's mind. His heart pounded painfully in his chest. He didn't think he could handle another close call. He couldn't imagine losing Naruto like that, not that he could imagine losing him at all. He wasn't sure when it had happened, but there was no more denying that he had some deep feelings for Naruto.

Shikamaru's feet took lead as the brunette was lost in worry. He knew Naruto had problems and he couldn't imagine the horror of being violated and defiled, but still he didn't want Naruto to kill himself. Maybe he was being selfish, but he wasn't going to let Naruto do that. He cared far too much to let that happen.

Ino and Chouji were having as little luck as Shikamaru as they searched for their friend with worried expressions on their faces. They asked anyone who passed if they'd seen Naruto. Most just ignored the question completely, but others resorted to nasty retorts. Ino looked at the villagers who resorted to such nasty attitudes with disgust and confusion, as she had no idea of he was jailor for the kyuubi. They continued their frantic search for their friend.

Naruto sat alone atop Hokage monument. His feet dangled over the edge and his elbows sat on his knees propping his head up. The head on which he sat was the fourth Hokage's. Even though Naruto lived his life being ridiculed and downright mistreated for a decision made by the fourth, he couldn't help but feel an odd connection with him. Well the thought of him at least. He liked to think the fourth Hokage had no choice, or at least didn't know he'd be treated so awfully by the village. Tears welled in his eyes, but he was treated awfully. There was no way around it really. Things were never going to change. He would always be so alone, hated, and absolutely miserable.

'I could just jump…it would all be over…even kyuubi can't heal from that.'

As quickly as the thought entered his depressed mind, the image of Shikamaru's scared face surfaced. He shook his head, but Shikamaru's face just wouldn't leave his mind. It was the day he'd tried to kill himself, the look of worry, fear, and anger on Shikamaru's face as he ran to the hospital that was haunting him now. He wondered why Shikamaru had been so upset by his actions that day, though Shikamaru explained it Naruto didn't understand. It was a bit confusing to the blonde, the prospect of someone actually caring about him. It was a hard thing to grasp.

Naruto shook his head one last time ridding his thoughts of the brunette. He couldn't take the pain anymore. He'd only been putting on a brave face to keep Shikamaru from feeling awkward. He didn't want him to feel guilty for anything as it wasn't his fault Naruto was destined to have a terrible life. Naruto slid his bottom closer to the edge of the fourth's head. He drew in a deep breath as he slid even closer to the edge. He held his breath as he was just barely sitting. Just a few more inches and he'd fall. He closed his eyes shutting out the tears.

"Monster!" the voices echoed in his head.

All the years of abuse and mistreatment came rushing back. Every hit every, and kick to him, he felt all over as if it just happened. Every insult anyone had every shouted, screamed, and uttered rushed back stinging worse than the first time he'd heard them. He could see the hateful glares burning him. He could barely breathe reliving fourteen years of torment in a matter of seconds. He exhaled.

His mind brought back the memories of that day. The feelings he felt that morning flowed back into him. He really wanted to just stop feeling. He no longer wanted to feel anything at all. The pain inside him was unbearable for someone who thought they were all alone. His cries were coming out softly, though he could have cried as loudly as he wanted too. No one would hear him where he was, and no one would bother to look for him up there either. He inhaled for the last time inching a bit closer to death, just a bit more. His eyes clenched tight and he held his breath.

"You are UZUMAKI NARUTO of the Leaf village! You are NOT the nine tailed fox!"

Naruto's heart pounded painfully in his chest as Shikamaru's words echoed through his mind. He felt a bit of guilt rise in his chest. He tried as hard as he could to shake the brunette from his mind and failed.

"You're a friend and I would put my life on the line to help a friend!"

Yet another kind thing Shikamaru had said to him surfaced. Naruto was sitting shaking as more and more things Shikamaru had said to him resurfaced.

"No you're not fine. I want you to rest! I want your wounds to heal! Don't you understand? Like I said we're friends! I'm not going to let you do anything to hurt yourself which includes disregarding Tsunade-sama's orders."

Naruto's mind raced for once he hesitated. Was this how he wanted it to end and why couldn't he stop thinking about Shikamaru? He tried not to think about him, he didn't want to think of leaving behind the one person who had been so nice to him. He sat there unable to think, unable to move as another memory snatched hold of him.

"Naruto, I promise I will never let anything happen to you again." As Shikamaru spoke he squeezed the blonde tighter hoping it would get through to him.

Naruto looked up at Shikamaru with wide tear filled eyes.

"Why would you promise something like that?" Naruto's voice sounded almost hurt.

"Why? Because you're my friend and no one deserves this!"

"I just don't understand why you care so much…I mean I did this to myself…I h-had a c-choice."

"Naruto this isn't your fault. That bastard made you feel like you chose this. The truth is he didn't give you any choice!"

"He gave me three choices. I chose that."

"They weren't real choices! The others would have resulted in your death! Those aren't choices! He gave you those knowing you had no choice! He's a sick bastard and I swear I'll rip him to shreds!"

Shikamaru's voice echoed a few times before everything went silent. Naruto sat there frozen, for the first time he wasn't sure he wanted it to end, not like this. Not when someone cared so much. Before he had time to move or even crawl back on top of the fourth's head a familiar chakra pattern neared.

The blonde's heart skipped a beat recognizing the chakra pattern instantly. He turned his head slowly, with wide eyes. Shikamaru stood close to tears and panting from running the whole village in search of the blonde. The worry etched in the brunette's features sent guilt burning through Naruto. Neither moved, nor spoke. Naruto's stomach was fluttering violently.

"S-Shika-maru…I…" his voice failed him.

The brunette's gaze was down at the ground and tremors shook his body as he sobbed. He was scared, angry, and guilty all at the same time. The mixture of emotion made it hard for Shikamaru to form words as hard as he tried. He'd turned his back for a moment and Naruto ran off without even attempting to come to him for help. The thought of Naruto not trusting him, hurt Shikamaru deeply.

Naruto managed to pull himself from the edge and moved slowly towards Shikamaru. His heart thumped wildly as he neared the lazy shinobi. He didn't understand why his body reacted this way. He stopped halfway as Shikamaru's eyes lifted to meet his. Naruto's body tensed upon seeing the look in Shikamaru's eyes. He wasn't sure what emotion those eyes held, all he knew was that he'd caused it. The fluttering in his stomach turned and now felt like kunai were ripping through him. He hated it, he hated himself even more than before if possible.

"Why did you leave like that?!" Shikamaru yelled sounding angry, though he did his best not too.

"I…I just…" he didn't bother finishing the sentence as it was pretty obvious what he had intended on doing.

Neither had noticed but the rain had begun falling a while ago. It poured down hard, but still they didn't seem to care.

"I'm sorry, really. I never…meant to upset you."

"But you did upset me, and you were going to jump!"

"I…look I wasn't going to."

"It really didn't look that way to me." Replied the brunette coldly.

Shikamaru was trying his best not to get so upset at Naruto. It really wasn't his fault, but he couldn't keep his emotions under control.

"You don't understand…"

"Then make me understand!"

"I wanted to end it all, but I couldn't!"

Shikamaru looked confused and relieved at the same time.

"What stopped you?" he asked curiously letting go of his anger.

"I couldn't do it because…because…"

"NARUTO! SHIKAMARU!" yelled a familiar voice.

They both turned to see Ino running up with Chouji behind her. Naruto figured they'd been looking for him. Both of them were drenched.

"Naruto! Are you okay?"

"Yea."

Ino punched him in the shoulder rather hard seeing he was okay.

"You had us all worried! You better not try anything like that again!"

The blonde nodded wide eyed. They started walking as there was no need to rush, they were already soaked. Naruto glanced at Shikamaru who no longer seemed angry with him.

'I promise I'll NEVER hurt you like that again!' the blonde silently vowed.

AN: This is one of the most difficult chapters I have ever written! Go easy on me, I know it doesn't flow as nicely as the others…but I did my best really. Yea a lot of things didn't flow right…I decided to move on rather than continue to obsess over it as I've been racking my brain for weeks how this chapter was going to go. So…like I said go easy on me!

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