CHAPTER 10 UNOFFICIAL CAMP
The skyhigh sun started to descend to the planetary horizon, filling the skies with beautiful blends of oranges, reds, yellows, and purples. The day was transitioning naturally into the calm night, and yet, the naked alchemist still settled in his man made pool, and of all things, slept his reality away; the youthfully arrogant boy was clearly exhausted enough, daring enough to resort to slumber despite the formidable threat that lurked nearby. The now cooled down pool eased his pains away like an effective serum, it was his new oasis now. The lower half of his body, however, was as shriveled up as a dried up prune, his potion was working too well.
'Damnit, what's taking that Pipsqueak so long?' Envy thought as he sniffed the air for Eds scent in his bloodhound form. The scent lingered into his nose, confirming that Ed was still nearby, and hasn't ran away . . yet. Consequently, Envy, in his preferred form, went back to his once icy imprisonment to check up on Eds whereabouts. What he saw, surprised him, almost pissed him off.
'Well well, this brat has a lot of nerve to fall asleep at a time like this. He must take me lightly, huh? I'll have to teach him some manners then.' Envy thought as he reverted back to his usual sadistic expression, a large grin formed on his face. He placed a hand over his mouth, forcing himself not to laugh out loud. He hatched a devious plan from his ever changing brain.
Moments later, the androgynous creature shapeshifted into a tremendously large tarantula, almost the size of Ed himself! The spider was a sickly green color with long hairs projecting from its course exoskeleton. Each of its eight eerie legs had hooked claws at the ends and saber tooth fangs to compliment. A nightmare inducing freak of nature.
It inched slowly towards the vulnerable alchemist, creeping up onto the circular edge of the muddy well with its long legs until it stood directly in front of him. In Envy's regular voice, he whispered loudly into Edwards moist ear, "Hey, wake up you foolish sleepyhead." The alchemist rested for a few more moments before grunting a little as a response. He then wiped his eyes in a sluggish fashion even going so far as to yawn loudly and obnoxiously, as if aware of the presence before him.
"Yeah . . . yeah Al . . hold on." Ed mumbled as his eyes remained closed, only to eventually open them up fully as more light seeped into his retina. Envy couldn't help but giggle a little as he bared his massive fangs and reached Eds body in a hug-like motion with his front two legs. As soon as Ed peeled his eyes wide open, he then quickly realized the predicament he was in. His face froze with a mixture of confusion and fear as he faced the unnatural abomination that stood before him.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What the hell is this!? No! Get away! GET AWAY!" Ed screamed frantically as his alchemized his automail into his signature blade, quickly proceeding to swipe at the ominous creature. Envy, despite his enormous size, swiftly maneuvered behind the shaken-up boy. Once Envy's silk-spitting abdomen faced the distressed boy, he took advantage of the situation by lifting him up from the pool in all his naked glory with the two back legs.
"AAHHH! OH GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING?! WHY IS THERE A GIANT SPIDER TRYING TO CAPTURE ME?! I'M NOT AN INSECT YOU DUMBASS ANIMAL!" Edward exclaimed, hardly registering the fact that he was out of the pool in the nude.
"Watch who you're calling a dumbass, you disrespectful little ant." Envy commented, feeling the need to reveal himself before Ed gets a heart attack.
"Envy!? Damn this, I should of known it was only you! And you watch who you're calling little you vile monster!" Edward warned, still shaken up from the sudden chain of actions.
"Oh? Don't worry, I'm watching you alright. Watching you helplessly struggle, clearly unaware of how foolish and exposed you look towards the animal children nearby." Envy pointed out before giggling at the whole situation.
Ed turned his head back towards his own hanging body, fully realizing how vulnerable he looked on the surface at the moment. The boy blushed of pure embarrassment, clenching his teeth with his eyes wide open.
"Oooohhhhh shit! Why me god dammit, why me? Clearly, there is no God, otherwise, this wouldn't be happening!" Ed cursed as he attempting to shield his exposed privates with his hands.
Envy bursted out laughing full on, taking true pleasure in the moment. Once he calmed down from his laughing fit, he said "Aww, is the poor baby Pipsqueak embarrassed? Maybe It's about time I change your diaper . . and teach you some more potty manners." Envy forewarned in a happily devious tone as he proceeded to wrap Edwards entire body with strong white silk by using quick legwork like a regular spider.
"Or better yet, let's change you into some nice clean clothes right now because every second you're naked is a disgrace to me personally." Envy admitted as he reached for the fresh clothes that settled by the pool
Ed screamed all the while as his body was being tied up like a cocoon. All that remained after the toilsome capture was Edwards head. As soon as Envy finished the deed, he slowly shapeshifted back to normal as the spider was quickly replaced with an androgynous teenager that had his prey tucked under his leg arm.
"There we go, now you're nice and comfortable, right?" Envy asked, teasing the boy with the rhetorical question as he started his march back to the campsite with Ed.
Ed tried to struggle out of his artificial cocoon but failed miserably. The repetitious panting demonstrated his fruitless efforts as sweat drops started to form on his face. "Dammit Envy, what the hell is this? Why are you taking me back to the camp like this?" Ed demanded an answer.
Envy rolled his eyes. "You must have amnesia then. I can't believe you've already forgotten how deep in slumber you were just in." Envy mentioned, slightly annoyed with Ed's forgetfulness.
"Wait! I really fell asleep?!" Ed asked as pure astonishment and embarrassment emerged on his face.
"Yes FullMetal Sleepyhead." Envy answered mockingly as he poked Ed sternly in the forehead.
'Man! How could I have been so careless? I know I was badly injured from the battle, but I didn't think I would fall asleep unnoticed. I have to pull myself together, or else, I'm done for. . .' Ed reminded himself as he veered his eyes away from Envys.
"Oh . ." Ed mustered up, unable to come up with an appropriate remark. Envy snorted out of annoyance, giving Ed a serious look before looking straight ahead.
"You know, had I not come, you would've turned into a human-sized raisin by now, and not the good kind. I want to make somethings clear between you and me, you would do best to learn that wearing out my patience is a very bad idea. And, if you were planning on giving yourself an early death by drowning yourself in the pool, you've make a huge mistake. You will not die under my watch, not until we get to the stone, got it?" Envy asked coldly.
Ed glared at Envy for second before turning away again to peek at deer that was roaming the area. "Yeah, ok, but just to let you know, I don't plan on dying anytime soon, and certainly not by your hands." Ed corrected.
Envy snickered quietly and smirked. "Whatever you say Ed." Envy said.
The rest of the walk was bathed in silence as the day slowly transitioned to night. In no time, however, the two arrived to the tent on the rocky plateau closest to the forest. Envy unzipped the tent with his open hand and tossed Ed harshly inside the tent.
"Ooww, what the hell was that for?" Ed asked, flustered as ever.
"Just shut up and relax, squirt." Envy mouthed as he took out a lantern and a pack of matches from Ed's suitcase. There had already been oil inside the lantern, so all Envy had to do was spark a match to ignite a small flame within the container before closing it.
"Hey! Have you been looking through my stuff!?" Ed asked angrily as he observed Envy's hand motions. Envy remained silent, a slight smirk appeared on his face as the lantern shun some orange light in the tent.
"Not gonna answer huh? Dammit, I shouldn't be surprised. I bet you destroyed all of my belongings didn't you!? Probably ate all my food, ripped up my clothes, and discarded my money, haven't you!?" Ed assumed with pure bitterness. Still Envy kept his mouth shut, though his smirk grew to a malicious grin, making Ed groan with anger and disappointment.
"Bastard . . . you know, when I was in the pool, I wasn't planning on drowning myself, but with the predicament I'm in right now, that option's not looking too bad right now . . " Ed muttered with a hint of regret on his face.
Envy started to giggle under his breath, which was audible enough for Ed to hear.
"Go ahead and laugh, just know that I hate this." Ed whispered with disdain.
Envy calmed down a bit from his giggle fits. "Ahh . . . my, oh my, for someone as seemingly optimistic as yourself, you do seem to make rather irrational assumptions about people, do you Pipsqueak?" Envy asked rhetorically as he opened up the suitcase, revealing the contents, perfectly intact. Ed's eyes opened up with slight astonishment, but he still wasn't convinced.
"Ok, I still don't buy it. You're an assassin after all, aren't you? At least, you're definitely suited to be one, given your powers. Meaning, you've probably got a trick up your sleeve to alter replace any objects with relative ease without making it look suspicious." Ed pointed out.
"Well, you might be right, or maybe not. I may be a shapeshifter, but that doesn't mean I'm capable of doing everything." Envy remarked with a vile smile.
Ed hissed his teeth in response. "Yeah right."
Envy looked inside the suitcase, discovering a tucked away apple in the corner, which he grabbed out for display. "What were you saying, that I purposely ate all of your food, just to excite your hunger?" Envy asked calmly.
Ed turned his head to face Envy, seeing the big red delicious apple that was being grasped in his enemies hand. Ed raised his eyebrows, and then pouted, his eyes stared coldly into Envys.
"Well, based on my love for apples, that idea of yours isn't looking too bad right now; in fact, it's looking perfect right now." Envy teased as he swayed the apple back and forth by the brown stem. Ed grunted in frustration, and Envy took notice.
"Oh, someone sounds grumpy over there. I'm sorry, did you want a bite as well?" Envy purred sadistically.
Ed closed his eyes, sighing deeply over the childish display. "Screw you."
Envy smiled as he continued to playfully swing the apple back and forth. "Oh, good point. I didn't think about there being a 'screw' loose inside of the apple, you are the FullMetal Alchemist after all; anything you touch is probably tainted in some way. Oh well, I guess you and I won't be needing this apple . . such a shame I'll say, huh?" Envy suggested as he threw the apple out of the tent and back into the wild. Ed continued to stare coldly at Envy.
"Go ahead, get rid of all my food, I can live without it for sometime." Ed commented venomously, all the while smirking self-righteously.
"Hmm, and here I thought you were a human, not a homunculus . . but I'm actually relieved you feel that way." Envy confirmed as he proceeded to once again dig his hands into Ed's suitcase, causing Ed to grow more curious of what the mischievous homunculus was planning.
"Wait, what are you-" Ed got cut off.
"Because then that means, you won't need to the comfort of perfectly good clothes, or water, or these alchemic research notes and documents, no no, you won't be needing any of this once I'm done." Envy promised as a vile grin etched into his face; he looked down at Eds belongings with purple eyes that shimmered ominously with the lantern light. He reached for the matches again, ready to light up another match. Ed reacted rabidly as he tried to squirm his way towards Envy, but failed in his pursuit for the cocoon was too strong.
"NO STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DON'T IGNITE MY STUFF YOU BASTARD!" Ed shouted with pure anger and worry. Envy took a moment to look at the flared up alchemist, the grin proudly remained.
"What's wrong? I thought you were a tough guy just a second ago." Envy brought up in a sympathetic tone.
"I never claimed I was, but I'll never accept an offer from a monster like you who thrives on other peoples' misery. And I'm definitely not about to idly watch by and let you burn down MY STUFF, MY PROGRESS!" Ed declared as a wrathful determination burned in his golden eyes in the light.
"Oh, but that's not exactly fair. I came here all on my own with nothing but myself, but now you get to make the rules and keep the abundance of supplies you carried with you? That's not equivalence." Envy stated back with simple hand gestures.
"What kind of twisted logic is that?! Of course I would bring things that I would need on my journey, I'm still a human being in case you forgot. You're an immortal freak of nature, Equivalent Exchange doesn't apply in that regard!" Ed fired back, still struggling to break loose from his sticky prison.
"Well I disagree. Right now, you and I are in a truce, so we such each share the same burden of making out the hell holes we've put ourselves in, only in a much similar fashion." Envy stated as he proceeded to light up the match with quick flicks on the ignition surface of the box.
"Because that is true Equivalent Exchange. Doesn't it feel good to get a bad taste of your own childish philosophy?" Envy asked smiling as he finally pulled off a small flame at the tip of the match.
"NO! PLEASE DON'T DO IT . . I'M BEGGING YOU GOD DAMMIT . . don't destroy my belongings, they're all I have left . . along with my family back at home . . just please, don't do anything. . ." Ed pleaded as he felt like he was about to shed tears out of anxiety and shame.
Envy looked over at the suitcase, and then back at Ed, enjoying the pitiful state the boy was in. He dared to hold the match up near his suitcase, just inches away from being set ablaze. Ed couldn't take it, he closed his eyes and looked away as sweat drops developed on his face.
Envy sighed and regained a regular smirk. "Well, I think that's all I needed to see. It's time to call it a night, don't you think Pipsqueak? It just wouldn't be as fun to torment you when you're not in peak condition, so instead . ." Envy paused as he throw the match at Ed's cocoon like a dart, slowly initiating the process of engulfing silky trap into flames . . with Ed along with it.
"What the!? Hey, ENVY, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME KILLED!? WHO SAID YOU COULD IMITATE THAT KISSASS OF A COLONEL?! YOU'RE NOT HIM!" Ed yelled panically as he watched the flame build up on the cocoon. He could feel the heat at his feet.
"Oh is that so?" Envy asked as he transformed into Roy Mustang in mere seconds. Ed was distracted by the simple ability that he should've grown accustomed to.
"Well FullMetal, you decided to make the sacrifice. By begging to keep your stuff safe and secure, you therefore made your stuff more important than your own being. That's the exchange you've made for yourself, so let's see if you make it out if this alive, and should you live, maybe I'll go a little easy on you and promote you to a higher rank." Envy brought up calmly despite the panic in Eds actions.
"SCREW YOU ASSHOLE!" Ed yelled, Envy laughed back as he transformed back to normal.
'Alright Ed, calm down. Don't let this bastard distract you, you have more important matters.' Ed thought as he looked at the ever-hungry flames.
'I'll have to make my move once the flame comes to my waist. That should be enough to rip out with my arms and escape. I might get caught in the flames, so I'll have to roll over to get rid of the flames.' Ed strategized to himself.
Envy simply looked on, curious as to how Ed would make it out of this fabricated dilemma. The flames grew faster, almost reaching Eds waist. Around this time, Ed tried to break the silky barrier with his arms, seeing that it started to weaken.
"Ahh AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OWWWww Hot HOT HOT!" Ed cried out, feeling the fire coming closer to searing his skin off. Envy giggled at the sight. At the rate the fire went, it eventually caught the surrounding fabric of the tent, slowly setting that on fire.
The fire eventually reach Eds waistline, allowing him to rip apart the portion of the silk that bounded his arms, but at that point, his legs were burning hot. Ed screamed in pain as he ran out of the tent, pushing Envy out of the way. He quickly dropped on the smooth rocky surface as he pants were on fire, which brightened the night in an orange reign of destruction. Envy quickly regained his balance as he zipped up Eds suitcase with all of his belongings intact. He scooped up the suitcase and the lantern and exited the burning tent as quickly as possible. Once outside, he launched the suitcase down the rocky cliff and near the three stationary tents below him and placed the lantern on the ground. He then placed his foot on Eds stomach, ignoring the searing pain from the flames that excited on the black leather pants.
"Well squirt, let me help you with that." Envy said as he kicked Ed down the rugged cliff, causing the helpless alchemist to roll down the side at a fast speed. By the time he hit the dampened ground, the fire had extinguished significantly from his legs, but he also suffered some cuts and bruises from the trip down. He frantically resumed his rolling routine, back and forth, back and forth, only slower than before now. Eventually the fire went out from his legs, relieving him from the pain, but he was struggled to sit up; he took a glance at the homunculus that stood at the top. The tent behind Envy had completely engulfed in flames, which concealed his face from the bright light. As always, he carried that malicious grin on his face as he placed his hands on his hips, looking down on the beaten down alchemist below. The flames from the tent would rage on for quite some time, as such, Envy took the liberty to remove the flames by delivering powerful gust through a special technique. He got into the windmill breakdance position and effortlessly transformed his legs (knee and down) into giant japanese-style fans, and proceed to breakdance fluently. With enough rotations and time, the flames died down, leaving only the unattended lantern to breathe fire into the surrounding darkness. Afterwards, Envy stopped spinning, allowing his legs to turn back to normal and immediately hopped from the cliff to where Ed sat down.
"Well, that was quite the lightshow just now, but don't worry, the party's over." Envy confirmed, sounding almost disappointed from his own words. Ed couldn't break a smile as still looked at Envy cold-heartedly.
"Just leave me alone . ." Ed said with restrained frustration.
"Aw, someone needs his beauty sleep? Alright then, but before you do that . ." Envy released a sticky glue-like substance from his that splattered onto Eds chest, forcing the boy to lay down with his back on the ground. The substance hardened in mere seconds.
"Again with this nonsense!?" Ed erupted once again, clearly annoyed with this type of punishment.
"Well, I can't exactly trust you now can I? But don't worry, I won't try to burn you alive again in the morning." Envy promised.
"Yeah right, and are you seriously keeping me her in this spot until the morning?! What if I have to take a piss?!" Ed questioned with slightly embarrassed outrage. Envy giggled at the thought.
"Well, you looked like you were ready to piss yourself back at the tent when I threatened your belongings and when you're about to be incinerated, so it makes no difference to me whether you piss yourself now. Not to mention, I caught scent of your own urine back at the pool, so I think you've had your fair share of bathroom privileges." Envy countered with a wink, causing Edward to blush out of pure embarrassment.
"So sleep tight now, my prey." Envy said as he tried to pat Ed on the forehead, only for his hand to be met with a headbutt from the tied up boy. Envy couldn't help but smile at the fruitless effort. As such he took his leave into the middle tent out of the three to keep a constant watch on Edward. All Ed could do was lay there in frustration and helplessness, how pathetic he felt.
'Al . . I don't know how I'm gonna do it. But I promise not to let you down. I'm not in the best of situations right now, but I hope you're doing alright, and everyone else back at home. If I make out of this alive, it'll be through some miracle, I hope . . . goodnight.' Ed thought to himself as he looked up at the night sky. There was a new moon that night, and Ed tried his best to stay awake, but eventually his eyelids lowered, giving him permission to enter into the wondrous realms of dreams, and perhaps, nightmares. The night quieted down.
CHAPTER 10 DONE