Chapter 10 : New life, new life

This morning, XJ5 found Sheila at their table, leaning over some papers, a cup of coffee at hand. At first glance, he thought they were only about newspapers. After all, the fugitive robot Lance 9 trillion had been arrested and was sentenced to deactivation, which only meant a sort of death for robots. They only talked about this now.

However, when he sat down near Sheila, he realized that what she was reading was completely different. There were papers involving titles such like summon, separation, money…It left XJ5 clueless.

"What's all that for? Are you involved with trials?" He asked.

Sheila displayed no emotion. She only had a stoic expression on her face. People would mistake this for indifference though XJ5 began to know her better. He knew it was anything but indifference.

"Soon." She sighed. "…I want divorce."

He crossed his arms, only contemplating papers. "…I see." To be honest, he wasn't surprised. Sheila and Tuddrussel didn't fit together. That was such a wonder that Sheila didn't divorce earlier, with how stupid the man was. They shared nothing, had nothing in common after all. Sheila was hardworking, smart, liked clean things…The man were a lazy moron, living in dirtiness.

"Many time I asked Tuddrussel to change, to be more careful with my feelings…" Sheila frowned, signing. "Unfortunately, he can't do the simplest thing as respecting me. He doesn't understand that there are ways others than hitting, punching and mocking people for their work." She added. "So I fed up. I'm going to live for myself from now. I will focus on my job, my career."

If XJ5 could, he would have the biggest grin on his face. He wouldn't have to deal with that idiot anymore. He wouldn't have to shake his hand or have him calling him "Tin-can". Every time Tuddrussel said this word, XJ5 was tempted to punch him and make him fly.

Then, he could watch how Sheila's mood was affected every time he saw her leaving Tuddrussel's place. She didn't miss him. That was quite the contrary: she was relieved to come back on her satellite.

"You are right, officer Sternwell." He said, touching her shoulder. "You are better off without him."

Sheila didn't reply. She kept signing papers before filing them. XJ5 noticed her hand was trembling though she kept a calm expression. She was overwhelmed.

He could sense her emotions: sadness, regret. Dylan's memories came back in XJ5's mind: he remembered about how he was whenever he called his family. His wife, his child…Every time, it left him broken.

Sheila's reaction wasn't very far from this. In one way, XJ5 wasn't only relieved not to see Tuddrussel anymore…He was relieved that she wouldn't end up like Dylan.

"You don't need any husband, Officer Sternwell". His words were comfort. "Divorcing isn't a big loss…He would have made you suffer one day, in one way or another."

Sheila stopped writing, looking back up at XJ5. She kept the same face, though she bit her lips.

The reason why Dylan died was because he wanted to be reunited with his family…If he didn't focus on his desire to see them again, maybe Dylan would have been more concentrated…Maybe Dylan wouldn't have been killed that easily.

Dylan had been a brilliant officer…Just like Sheila.

"Then…Officer Tuddrussel is only an idiot. He is a fool, unworthy of being an officer. He isn't even worth to marry with. " XJ5 paused. "…You were so perfect to marry him. If you divorced, it's his entire fault. Not yours. You shouldn't feel bad over it…"

He didn't want Sheila ending like Dylan did…

"That's useless to feel bad for him."

Sheila put her pen down. She crossed her arms, staring at him with a blank expression. During some minutes, there was only silence between them.

At last, she said. "Don't you realize how much you hurt me?"

It confused XJ5. He only wanted to comfort her. His words didn't mean to hurt her so…Why?

"I don't understand."

"Tuddrussel was my first love." She then glared at him. "My first love! I married him because I loved him. Not because he was smart, not because he was clean…I married him because I loved him!" She repeated. "I loved him! He was funny. He comforted me whenever I wanted to give up. He never abandoned me." She then grabbed one sheet of paper before throwing it on the floor. "Of course I would feel bad! I have every right to!"

"Officer Sternwell…I didn't mean to…"

"You did, XJ5!" She cut him in. Anger and pain were obvious now. "I planned to share my life with him. Maybe I didn't want children right now, but who knows? Maybe sooner or later I would have had with him." She shook her head, covering her face. "These papers…It is like killing the life I could have had with him."

XJ5 stayed silent. She looked so…vulnerable. Sheila always looked strong.

Was Tuddrussel able…to make her vulnerable?

"And you are wrong…No way I'm perfect. I have my own faults too. I never had been present. I always busied with work, putting him apart…How can I be perfect? It just doesn't exist."

"…You never committed any fault, Shei—I mean, Officer Sternwell."

"You have a black and white view, XJ5. You should learn that nobody is completely right, nobody is completely wrong…It will hurt him. And…it hurts me too. How did you feel when you lost Dylan?"

XJ5 froze. He tried to look away, avoiding her stare.

"It's exactly how I feel right now, XJ5." Sheila's voice broke. "I lose him…just in a different way."

She then picked the sheet up, going back to his papers. "You shall leave me, XJ5. I saw you enough for today."

XJ5 was about to reply something, but decided not to. Instead, he stood up from his seat to leave the room.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry…But he wasn't sure she would listen.

So he just obeyed and left.