Jacob's POV

The first thing I was aware of was that I felt very heavy, like I was sitting at the bottom of the ocean. So naturally I started fighting my way to the top, afraid I would drown. The weight began to lift and I noticed how hot I felt except my right side was very cold.

I struggled to open my eyes. They felt so heavy. When I finally opened them a fraction, the light was so bright I had to close them again. The little light that shined through had not giving me any clue as to where I was. I knew in order to find out I would have to open my eyes and to do that I would have to open my eyes.

That was when I felt someone watching me. I had to know who it was and if I was in any danger, although for some reason I felt pretty safe. I forced my eyes open, cringing at the light, but fighting against its sudden intrusion. When my eyes finally adjusted, I was looking up at a smooth white ceiling. There was nothing on it. No designs, no fan.

I turned my head, painfully, to the right and saw a pale, thin man looking at me. His image was blurring and I first I could not make him out. Then my eyes focused and I realized I was staring into the darkened eyes of Edward Cullen. His lips curled into a hesitant smile.

"Hi," He said tentatively.

I tried to reply, but my throat was so dry the attempt made it burn and I began to cough. Edward picked up a cup that had been sitting on the nightstand next to him and put it to my lips. He put his other hand on the back of my neck and helped me hold my head up. I drank the entire glass even though I heard Edward telling me to slow down and I probably could have drank the rest of the pitcher given the opportunity.

"Thank you." I rasped as a noise drew my attention to the door and the Doctor walked in with a smile on his face. He really was a stunning creature to look at, I thought as he drew to the side of the bed.

"Welcome back, Jacob." He said as if I were a frequent visitor.

"Where am I?" I managed to ask.

"You are at our home just outside of Forks." he answered. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired and thirsty." I answered shortly. He nodded.

"That's normal for someone who has been in a coma. Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

I thought for a minute. I remembered the newborn fight, getting hurt, healing, and then I got an invitation in the mail. I was upset and I over reacted and ran away. I glanced at Edward. He was pretending not to listen to my thoughts. I knew I was too weak to put up the mental block I often used in his or the pack's presence. He waited patiently with Carlisle for me to answer aloud. "I was sick and I ran off. I must have gotten worse while I was gone."

Edward and Carlisle nodded. "You almost died, Jacob, you were so sick." The tone in his voice caused me to look into his eyes and although they were not the golden color I knew they should be, I was more shocked by the worry that shone in them. It was the same thing I had noticed in his voice.

I was also searching to see if he knew my secret. He gave a small nod and my heart sank. I had not wanted him, of all people, to know. It had been the one thing I had been working so hard for the past couple of months and I had failed miserably.

"We can talk about that later. You need to rest right now." His expression was unreadable and I got the impression that he was trying to hide his feelings from me. But the thought slipped from my mind as my eyes lids grew heavy so I just nodded. Edward rose to leave and I felt myself growing worried. I did not want to be here alone.

"I'm only going to call your father and inform him that you have awoken. I will be right downstairs and I will return in a few minutes." I nodded hoping I had not acting inappropriately in my desire for company in this unfamiliar place. He gave me a reassuring smile that told me he understood how I felt and then left the room with Carlisle, closing the door behind them.

I looked around the room I had not paid much attention to before. The bed I was lying in took up most of the space, but it did not look crowded. There was a bench-like couch in the corner and a small desk in the opposite corner. The wall to my right was made of glass. By the way the sun shone on the trees it was about ten in the morning and this particular window faced the west. The time brought to my attention the fact that I did not know what day of the week or month it was. I had no idea how long I had been ill. I would have to ask Edward when he got back.

Continuing my search around the room, I found the wall behind my head was covered from floor to ceiling in shelves. They were stocked full of CDs, records, and books. Some were very old looking with cracked leather and I wondered if it had that rotting leather smell to it. I was always intrigued by that smell. It was the smell of age and wisdom. The smell that told you that book had lived through some tough times and come out the other side. It was the same wonder I felt when I found an old wheat or Indian head penny. What had the old, historic item been through in its very long life.

I looked to my left and found a coat rack with an IV hanging from it. I followed the path of the tubing straight into my left hand. Why hadn't I noticed that before? But I did not wonder about it for very long. My thoughts became weak and fuzzy and my eyes grew heavy again. I tried to stay awake. I had things I needed to ask Edward. But I lost my fight and fell into a deep sleep moments later.

When I woke up, the room was dark but I easily made out Edward sitting right where he had been before. He turned on a lamp and pick up a cup. I struggled to sit up and leaned against the headboard. Taking the glass he handed me, I drank the whole thing slowly. I saw Edward watching me out of the corner of my eye, but for the longest time, neither of us said anything. The silence was more comfortable than I had expected it to be and, when I had finished my water, it gave me the courage to address some issues.

"Why am I here and not at home or in a hospital?" It was not really one of my most pressing questions, but one I was curious about none-the-less.

"Because Carlisle wanted to keep you close to him in case you got worse and your more-than-human status wouldn't allow for a hospital." He stated. Then continued, "Besides, I'm not allowed on the reservation and I had to stay close to you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confusion covering my face.

"You were sick because you were away from me so the only way to make you better was for me to be with you at all times." He answered.

"That's not true. I was sick because I forced myself to ignore the imprint. If I had told you and you rejected me, I would have been just fine." I said.

"You knew you would die if you did not tell me about the imprint?" He seemed a little taken aback.

"No, I wouldn't have died because I didn't tell you. I was dying because I refused to accept it. I could have gone the rest of my life never telling you as long as I had accepted it as my fate." I swallowed and the sound carried throughout the entire room. "And as long as you were happy." I finished. I could not look him in the eye. Although I had fully justified my actions in my head, saying these things aloud was making me reconsider and I was beginning to feel a little ashamed.

"So my presence saved you because I had accepted the imprint in your place." He seemed to be speaking more to himself than to me. I had nothing to reply and he did not continue his thought. Shaking his head, his eyes found mine and he added, "It does not matter right now. We should talk about this later when you are feeling better. When I spoke to your father, I told him you were sleeping, but I suggested he come over in about three hours. I can hear Sam's truck pulling up now."

"Does he know?" I asked quietly.

"Everyone knows, Jacob." was all he said as he left the room to greet Dad and Sam at the bottom of the stairs. I suddenly feared seeing my father and Sam. I knew they loved me, but I was afraid of what they would say about the imprint and my behavior. Surely, they were not going to take this lightly?

When my father came in a few minutes later, my fears had only grown. We looked each other straight in the eyes and he seemed to sag with relief. He came right up to the side of the bed with Sam right behind him. Edward had not entered with them and I assumed he had wanted to give us time alone.

My Dad took my IV attached hand in his and squeezed. I shivered at the thought of the pain I had put him through. He had always been a good father and if I had only gone to him when the imprint happened, he would have been there for me. I felt a stinging in my eyes, but I pushed it away.

"How are you, Jacob?" His voice was gentle and concerned and I had never realized before how soothing it was to hear.

"I'm tired." I answered quietly. What could I say now? I did not want to talk about the reason I was here, but I knew I would have to at some point. So I decided now was better than never. "Dad, I'm so sorry." I was staring intently at the blanket.

"No, Jacob. I don't want to talk about that right now." My eyes shot to his. They were shining with unshed tears. I reached over and wrapped my arms around him. A few tears escaped as I inhaled his familiar musky scent and I whispered over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Sam's hand on my back, helped me to gain control of myself, and I nonchalantly dried my tears on Dad's shoulder before I let him go and settled back into the bed. I looked to Sam whom I had not acknowledged since he and Dad had come in the room. I held my hand out to him. He grasped it and used his other hand to clap me on the back in a one-handed hug.

"You gave us quite a scare Jacob." His statement was simple, but it told me that he was not angry and that he cared and would be there for me if and when I needed him. I had no time to reply, however, because Carlisle walked in just then.

"Hello, Billy." He said, holding out his hand for my father to shake and then Sam. "Sam. I did not mean to interrupt anything, but I thought it best I catch all of you up on Jacob's health at the same time." He turned to me. "You're doing quite well for having been in a coma for two weeks."

Two weeks! I had been here fighting for my life for two weeks? Things were worse than I thought. My father sighed and Sam nodded his head as if he had expected no less. I felt a little strange hearing myself spoken about as if I had been on the brink of death which I guess I had been. I looked between the three of them and again felt guilt for what I had put everyone through. I had been so terribly selfish.

"Now, as for the near future. You are going to be staying here until I say otherwise." Neither Dad nor Sam protested as I thought they would. "You lost an extremely large amount of weight and you are not leaving until I know you are gaining it back at a steady pace." I nodded. That was a perfectly reasonable thing for a doctor to say. "I do not think there will be any long term side effects, but you will likely experience a lot of fatigue and tiredness."

I snorted. I had not intended to interrupt. He looked at me curiously so I explained, "I've been tired since I phased for the first time almost a year ago, Carlisle. That's nothing new to me." He gave me a gentle smile.

"I have a feeling this will be worse, but since you brought it up, I also do not think you should phase for a while. It could be at least a month." I began to protest, but Carlisle continued. "Right now you are too weak to phase and I want to make sure you have as much as your previous strength back as possible before you expend it all in phasing and running patrols."

"Don't worry Carlisle. He'll not be phasing until you tell him it's okay. I will make sure of that." Put in Sam. I averted my eyes back to the blanket, feeling more ashamed than I had before as if I was already guilty of disobeying Carlisle's orders.

Carlisle nodded at Sam before going on. "I imagine you will be doing a lot of sleeping in the near future. Please do not resist it like I know you have for your duties as a wolf. I feel it could make things worse. My wife Esme is looking forward to cooking you plenty of food to build you back up. She is an excellent cook and I'm sure you will love it. The only other thing I wanted to tell you is that anyone is welcome to visit you here, same as before," He looked at Dad and Sam. "As long as they do not all come at the same time and remain civil." I smiled at the idea of Paul walking into the home of a group of vampires. There was no way I was going to be seeing him until I was back on the reservation. But I wondered if anyone besides Dad had been to visit me while I was unconscious.

"Feel free to stay as long as you would like, but keep in mind Jacob needs rest." He left then and I was alone with Dad and Sam again.

I knew my Dad would be reluctant to leave, but he would want me to get some sleep, but I had questions and things I needed to tell them. Deciding I could not put it off, I started talking. "How did you find out about the imprint?" It had been nagging at me. I had been so guarded and secretive. I did not think anyone would ever find out.

Sam pulled up a chair that had been sitting in the corner by the door. "Quil and Embry found the letter you had written to Edward." I had completely forgotten I had written that letter. On one of my extremely depressing days I had written it in an attempt to make myself feel better, thinking that if I was ever going to tell him it would have to be through a letter. Then I had balled it up and thrown it in the trash. But as I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep for thinking about it, I had gotten it back out and laid it out on my dresser. That had been two days before I ran away.

"When they brought it to me, I knew we had to find you. I did not know for sure what would happen to you, but I knew you had been sick and I was afraid it was only going to get worse." Sam looked out of the window. He must have felt that whatever he said next would not make me very happy because he continued in a quieter, more hesitant tone. "You had been gone long enough that our only hope of finding you in time was to ask Edward."

He risked a glance at me. I was confused. Why would he need Edward to find me? "You'll have to ask Edward about how he found you, but I knew there was a connection between the two of you that would lead him to you."

"I'm sorry for everything." My Dad started to protest, but I held up my hand, determined to continue. "Everything I did was an attempt to keep from hurting you and it kills me that all I did was hurt everyone. I thought I was making the right choice."

"Jacob," My father took my hand again. "We know that you did what you thought was best. You were afraid and hurting and you made an irrational choice. It happens. At least now you have a chance to fix things." There was an underlying hint in there that I chose to think about later.

I wanted to talk more, ask more questions, but my eyes were starting to burn and it was getting hard for me to keep them open. Sam and Dad noticed and said their goodbyes with promises to return. I settled down in the bed as I heard them descending the stairs. The last thing I heard before I drifted into unconsciousness was Edward's voice saying, "Don't worry, Billy, I will take care of him."

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