I didn't know how humans could possibly handle the stress of getting married - I could barely handle it myself. Despite assurances from Alice, Tanya, and Kate, I was still nervous. My anticipation and excitement mingled in and three hours before I was to be married, I was more than ready to have a minor breakdown.
I escaped from Alice's clutches and very carefully worked my way downstairs barefoot, my wedding dress bunched up in my hands so I wouldn't trip on my face. Carlisle had been all but banished to the first floor of the house to prevent seeing me - a tradition Alice was insistent on - so I was going to seek him out.
I followed his scent - and the voices - toward the study. They silenced when they caught a whiff of my scent and I paused outside the door, just as Eleazer opened it. It was only a crack, but he slipped out of it and shut the door before whoever else was inside could see me.
"I need to talk to Carlisle." I said quietly.
"Can't let you do that. Alice's orders." He flashed a grin.
"Well, he can stay in that room and I'll stay out here. Or we'll write notes. Something. I just need to talk to him. Please."
Eleazer seemed to be debating it for a moment, but he gave another smile, giving in.
"You know I can't refuse a pretty lady." He murmured and I distinctly heard a growl come from within the room, followed by several stifled laughs. I shook my head.
"Thank you."
He disappeared inside the room. A moment later he returned with Edward, Jasper, Carmen, Irina, and Emmett in tow. Giving me a sly wink, he ushered them all into another room.
"So, I've been told not to open this door on pain of death, yet you need to speak with me?" Carlisle sounded confused - it was endearing, really. "Is everything all right?"
"Yes, everything's fine, it's just . . . I wanted to talk to you." I leaned against the door.
"About what?"
About everything. I was marrying him in three hours, and I wanted answers. I had forgiven him so easily when he had come back because I'd been so relieved to see him. Now that it was going to be official that we would permanently be together, I wanted my questions listened to and answered.
"Why did you leave?" I asked in the tiniest voice possible, shutting my eyes for a moment. He appeared to hesitate.
"I thought I already answered that, Esme." He spoke as quietly as I did. "I left to protect you."
"That's not the entire reason. You're smarter than that, Carlisle. You knew that leaving would put me in danger more than you being around me." I pressed, staring at the wall across from me now, my back against the door. My hands tangled in the fabric of my dress, kneading it nervously.
"Because I had to do something. I had always planned on coming back, but when I found you in the north, I saw that you had moved on."
"I never moved on. I put on a happy face so I could fit in with the people in the towns. Inside - I was completely shattered. I was trying to piece myself back together again." I whispered quietly.
"I followed you anyway. I didn't want you to come to harm." He continued as if I hadn't interrupted. I felt his weight leaning against the door now.
"You could have come back. You could have let me know you were there."
"I was afraid of how much you would hate me for leaving in the first place." He muttered, which was reasonable. I had hated him for a while. Then I had begun to realize something might have happened to him, and my anger soon turned into worry.
There was silence between us for a long moment, until he spoke again.
"You're not going to ask me what I left to do?"
"If it's something that required you to leave me to do it, I'm not sure I want to know." I admitted, sliding down the door now so that I was sitting on the ground, legs stretched out in front of me, my wedding dress spread all around in a pool of white material.
Carlisle remained silent for a moment longer before speaking again.
"I went to your parents."
I went still, staring intently at the wall across from me without really seeing it.
"They're supposed to be dead." I whispered.
"They're in their eighties now." He spoke. "At least, I assumed. They could be older."
"Why?"
"To apologize to them."
My fingers curled tighter into my dress - I realized what I was doing and instead curled my fingers into the carpet so I didn't rip my dress. Carlisle was the only person I knew who would go to my parents to apologize.
"I didn't want you to know I'd gone. It was an odd situation - I apologized that I had taken you away from them. They didn't seem to understand, until I told them that you were still alive. Your death had been faked. They got angry at me then, and I apologized again - they begged me to let them see you, but I knew I couldn't. Your father actually tried to forbid me from seeing you at one point in the conversation because he knew that I was still with you - being the traditional type of person I am, I half listened to him because I was foolish enough to believe him when he said that I was a dangerous man. He didn't even know the half of it." He sighed heavily, taking in an unneeded breath at that point. "I was an idiot for believing he could stop me from seeing you, but once he mentioned it, I knew I had done the right thing in leaving. The longer I thought about it, the more I began to realize that the Volturi was after me, not you."
Silence once again fell between us as I tried to process what he said. Things were still a bit muddled, but now I understood more of his reasoning. I slipped my fingers between the gap at the bottom of the door and the floor - I felt his weight shift toward the bottom of the door, and his fingers found mine.
"Why me? All I did was help your son - who didn't even need help, now that I think about it."
"Vampires form strong bonds, Esme. Once we fall in love, we don't fall out. When I saw you, I knew I wouldn't ever be able to forget you. It'd an odd thing, the bonds our kind form - it's very, very hard to break them. After the war was over, I had intended to seek you out, but you came to me." He continued, and I could practically see the smile on his face. "For a while, I thought you were some angel. Sent to help me fix the mere existence of a life I had, and try to fix my eternally damned soul."
"You're not damned, Carlisle. You're much too kind and caring."
"I don't have a soul."
"Yes, you do. We all do. We just have new, shiny, hard bodies to protect our souls so they don't get broken." I murmured softly.
"You ask why I picked you - because you are different, Esme. I'd never met a person who cared for people in the way that you do, whose life mirrored yours. You're one of a kind, and I knew from the moment I met you that somehow we'd end up together, merely because of the strong draw I felt to you. Your blood practically sang to me - never before had I wanted so badly to break my control. I couldn't have stopped myself from falling in love with you even if I wanted to. I still wonder what exactly I did to deserve you."
"Fate works in mysterious ways." I murmured. "I never told you this, but I was going to ask you to change me. Had I not been injured - I'd planned to ask you. I'd realized I had no desire to live my life without you in it. For eternity."
"I wouldn't have done it. To purposefully damn you to this life - it's not something I would wish on my greatest enemy. I suppose it was fate that decided to take matters into its own hands - when you were shot, I knew somewhere in my mind I would have to change you eventually, that you wouldn't recover from an injury like that."
Part of me realized that if Charles wasn't such an idiot, I wouldn't be there right then, about to be married to the love of my life. I almost wanted to thank him - but one good deed didn't make up for a life of wrongness.
"Here."
Something hit the bottom of the door and I moved the fabric of my dress out of the way to see that he was pressing a box through the gap now.
"I had Alice order it and I was going to wait until later to give it to you, but I think you should wear it now."
I took the box and pulled the purple ribbon off of it, setting that aside as I opened the box.
It was a bracelet. It was mostly silver, with intricate designs made to wrap around the wrist. On the top was the black and silver crest I had seen on Carlisle's ring - and Alice and Rosalie's necklaces, and the boys' wristbands. I had always meant to ask what it meant, but had never gotten around to it.
"It's the family crest. All of us wear it in some form. I thought you might prefer a bracelet." He explained.
I was about to become one of the Cullens, and this proved it.
I pulled the bracelet out of its box and slid it onto my wrist, where it fit perfectly.
"It's beautiful. Thank you." I murmured, smiling to myself now.
"I suppose you should be getting back upstairs. Alice will come looking for you." He said and I gave a nervous laugh.
"Probably." I got to my feet, smoothing the wrinkles from my dress. I leaned back against the door. "I'll see you in a few hours?"
"It's a date."
"Love you." I smiled. I loved the freedom I had to tell him that.
"Love you too, now and forever."
Alice and Tanya continued their assault on my appearance the second I returned upstairs. I tried to distract myself with the snow falling outside of the window of Tanya's room, and the beautiful white landscape outside. I had gone hunting in it yesterday - Alaska was beautiful in the winter, at least, to me. I'd always loved snow. The fact that it was Christmas Eve made it even better - as well as the fact it was my wedding day.
That thought brought back my nerves.
It was the early evening hours when Alice finally finished with me, and Edward came knocking. I sat very still in my seat at Tanya's vanity, trying hard to take my gaze off the creature reflected in the mirror. Carlisle's necklace hung around my neck, ending a few inches above where my dress began. My hair had been pulled back with a diamond headband I had seen Alice wear once.
Somehow, with a few simple things, Alice had made me look like the angel Carlisle believed me to be.
"You look beautiful, Esme."
I smiled. "Thank you, Edward. It's all Alice and Tanya's doing, of course." I shot them a look. "You look rather dashing in your tux as well."
He chuckled as I got to my feet and moved toward him. He drew me into a hug, and then noticed the bracelet on my wrist. He gave a knowing smirk.
"We'll head downstairs now." Tanya said and ushered Alice from the room, the pair of them practically bouncing. I wished I had their energy.
"Ready, mom?" A breath hitched in my throat when Edward called me that, and I suddenly had the biggest smile on my face. Just being called 'mom' felt . . . right. I knew I couldn't have children, and I knew Edward and his siblings would be the closest I would ever be to having children. It felt wonderful.
He mirrored my smile as I nodded and he held out his arm, which I took. I grabbed the flowers Alice had laid out for me on Tanya's bed with my other hand, and together, Edward and I walked out the door.
Stairs seemed much more dangerous in heels and a long dress, even for a vampire. I managed to make it down them without harming myself or Edward, so I considered that a tiny accomplishment as we stepped into the living room.
"Ready?" Edward asked again as we walked toward the back of the house - we were having the wedding on the deck, in the snow - Alice's idea, naturally.
"As I'll ever be." I whispered.
We stepped onto the deck.
Alice had turned the place into a winter wonderland of sorts, with white ribbons and flowers everywhere along the railing of the deck, and on the backs of the few chairs out there. Added with the snow, the overall effect was utterly gorgeous.
Carlisle's dazzling gaze met mine - he looked handsome as ever in the suit Alice had picked out for him. He smiled at me and all my nervousness fled - although, that could have been thanks to Jasper as well. When I chanced a glance at him, he looked away innocently.
Beside Carlisle was Emmett, just as Alice moved to stand beside me when I reached Carlisle. Edward placed a kiss on my cheek after flipping my veil out of my face, and Carlisle's hand found mine. We turned toward Eleazer - who had so graciously volunteered to stand in as priest.
I didn't hear half of what he was saying because my attention was on Carlisle the entire time. My gaze never left his, and it took me a moment to realize my hands were shaking slightly. Carlisle curled his fingers tighter around mine reassuringly.
"Carlisle Andrew Cullen, do you take Esme Anne Platt to be your wife, through the good and the bad, through the thick and the thin, during the good hunting and bad, during fights over what color to paint the living room, during those times when humans start to get suspicious through arguments with the kids, through arguments with the kids when you're trying to get them out of the house when you want to be alone together, and during whatever else the future made hold, for all eternity and beyond?"
I was sure if I were human, I would have been bright red. Across from me, Carlisle was trying hard to be serious - leave it to Eleazer to deviate from the vows Alice had given him to read.
"I do." Carlisle's voice wavered as he tried to hold back his laughter. I could only shake my head, watching as Carlisle grabbed one of the silver rings Carmen held out to him, sliding it on my finger.
"Esme Anne Platt, do you take Carlisle Andrew Cullen through and during all those things I just said?"
I nearly lost it again - Carlisle actually snorted that time.
"I do." I took the other ring and slid it onto his finger.
"Then, by the powers vested in me as of two days ago, I now pronounce you man and wife. Dr. Cullen, you may kiss your giggling bride."
I was giggling uncontrollably when Carlisle swept me into a kiss. The others cheered us on, of course, led by Emmett.
We were led back inside, where Alice had put on music. Carlisle instantly swept me up into a dance in the middle of the living room.
"You look beautiful, Mrs. Cullen." He murmured, twirling me. I smiled at the name, pleased at the way it sounded.
"You don't clean up so bad yourself, Mr. Cullen."
He smirked, never taking his gaze away from mine as we danced to the vaguely familiar tune Alice had found on the radio. As we danced and I looked at all the faces around us, watching us, I realized I now had the family I'd always wanted. Carlisle had given me the one thing I'd always thought impossible - with Charles, I'd never expected to have children. Even after I'd thought he died, I knew it would be hard for me to get married again. I'd considered adopting, but I hadn't had the chance before I'd run into Jasper and as a result, his ever-so-handsome father who was now my husband. It felt almost odd to call Carlisle my husband after so long, but I loved the feeling it gave me.
The song took more of an upbeat tone and Carlisle spun me around again – the others joined us in dancing now, swirling around us. I ignored them though, most of my attention on my husband. He was a smooth dancer, and easily kept in time with the songs as they changed. I found Edward could dance just as smoothly, as I danced with him next, and then Eleazer – who once again deemed it fit to tease me. I could only shake my head with a half smile on my face, my gaze continuing to follow Carlisle as he danced with Tanya.
Dark fell soon after, and before I could realize what had happened, Alice pulled me upstairs to help me change. Carlisle and I were only going to be gone for a week on our honeymoon – which I still had no idea where it was – and then we'd come back and he'd undoubtedly face the Volturi.
Alice hung my dress on the back of my door, handing me another one, this one a pale purple dress with matching flats. She pulled down my hair and arranged it again – it ceased to amaze me how quickly she could make someone go from look to look, even as a vampire.
I joined the others back downstairs to say goodbyes, and to tell them to stay out of trouble while we were gone. I was afraid of leaving them alone because of the Volturi, but they had insisted they would be fine – I knew Carlisle was uneasy to leave too, but in the end we were all but shoved out of the door.
. . .
"Are we almost there?" I inquired for the third time, unable to see any of my surroundings. I vaguely remembered the soft engine hum of a boat – but we had evidentially stepped out of it a bit ago, because now I could feel warm wood beneath my feet. The sun was up, just barely – I could she our skin glittering through the blindfold, but yet my surroundings were still shrouded.
"Hang on one minute." He promised, and not a minute later I felt my blindfold drop and my eyes opened.
I was greeted by the dazzling sunlight.
Carlisle and I stood on a set of docks, that ended at a long, seemingly endless strip of white sand that seemed to glitter like our skin. Farther away began a set of wooden stairs that led up onto the deck of a house - which looked utterly gorgeous, with large windows that let equally large amounts of sun in.
"It's beautiful." I whispered, glancing over at Carlisle with a wife smile on my face. "I love it."
"Thought you might." He mused. "It's why I bought it for you."
Wait, what?
"Carlisle, you didn't."
"I distinctly remember you telling me once that the sun was what you would miss the most - so I did the best I could. I figured it might be a nice getaway for us in the future as well." He wrapped an arm around my waist.
"An island. You bought me an island."
"Even has your name on it." He smirked. "Isle Esme."
I was still trying to get over the fact he had bought me an island. I wasn't aware his extreme kindness extended to buying extremely thoughtful and expensive gifts as well. But an island - good Lord. It was beautiful though, and it was clear he had been thinking directly of me when picking the island.
"Do you want to see the rest of it?"
I nodded and he led me across the beach. I kicked off my shoes the second I hit the sand, smiling at the feeling of the sand between my toes. It was a strong contrast to the snow and cold in Alaska we had left behind.
Carlisle suddenly scooped me up and I laughed, throwing my arms around his neck as he proceeded to carry me into the house.
The house, just like the island, was utterly gorgeous. Windows covered most of the walls, giving a view of the ocean and the trees that lay more inland. Everything was in white or light colors, from the kitchen to the bathroom to the bedrooms - of which there were three, including the white room and the blue room. I preferred the white one, and set the small suitcase I had brought down near the wall.
"It's beautiful here." I said, striding toward the balcony doors that led out onto the deck. The wood was warm to my touch.
"There are people who will come in when we're not here and keep everything clean for us. They even stocked the cabinets with food."
"Like we need it." I mused, leaning against the railing as I took in the sounds of the ocean around me. Carlisle's hands ran along my sides and I turned toward him, grabbing the loops where his belt went through his pants to pull him closer toward me.
"So," I continued as he pressed me further back against the railing, hands at my neck and face now, pulling me into lingering kisses. "How stable is this furniture?"
He trailed kisses down my neck. "Care to find out?"
"I would, but I think we're both a bit overdressed for trying out said furniture." I murmured, tugging at his shirt now. My entire body was suddenly on fire with his touch - I wasn't sure how he always managed to bring my body back to life like that, but he was sure as hell good at it.
With ease and grace he scooped me up into his arms in one swift movement, not once breaking the kiss he had pulled me into again. My fingers found the buttons of his shirt as he carried me into the white room, brushing aside the sheer curtains of the bed.
Sometime later, we were curled within the blankets, hopelessly tangled in the sheets and each other.
"I love you." He murmured into my hair. "Did you ever look at your ring?"
"Not really." I murmured, a bit breathless as I traced circles on his chest. He reached for my hand and pulled off the silver ring, who's presence I had just gotten used to. He held it up, and I could see there was an inscription on it.
My Angel.
I gave a small smile, sliding it back on my finger where it belonged.
"I still wonder how fate thought I was lucky enough to have you." He murmured, pressing a kiss against my temple, fingers trailing along my side.
"You deserve everything, Carlisle. You're the most kind-hearted man I've ever met." I assured. He needed to stop asking himself that - he deserved me in every way, shape, and form. If anything, I didn't deserve him.
"Want to watch the sunset and go for a midnight swim?" He asked after a moment, and I realized it was indeed getting dark. I nodded with a smile and managed to untangle myself from the sheets.
Part of me wanted to be rather lazy and just wrap myself in a blanket to go down to the beach, but I refrained, pulling on the dress Carlisle had easily pulled off of me hours before. He met me out on the deck, dressed in his clothes from earlier as well, before we headed down to the beach. The sand was still warn from the day's sunlight, and I reveled in the feel of it. It would be hard to believe we'd be back in the snow in a weeks time.
We sat in the sand until the sun had sank far below the horizon, before we went for a swim. Even the water was still warm.
I couldn't believe all of this was mine.
Correction - ours.
The rest of my week was spent in utter bliss. Carlisle and I spent the rest of our time divided between the ocean, beach, and trying out the strength of our other furniture. It was absolutely perfect, more than I had ever imaged it to be. I never wanted to leave.
Unfortunately for me, our honeymoon was cut short by two days when we received the call.
The shrill ring of Carlisle's cell phone echoed across the sand where we were reclined, pale skin glittering in the light. I glanced over, newly golden eyes falling on him as he reached for his phone. He had brought blood with us so that we wouldn't be starving by the time we go back.
"Hello?"
I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation - at least until whoever it was on the other end screamed. I sat up, instantly alarmed. Carlisle had already snapped the phone shut.
"What's happened? What's wrong?"
"Alice called . . .its the Volturi. They attacked."
"Oh, God." It felt like I had a lump stuck in my throat. Oh, God. If anything happened to any of them . . . . "We've got to go home, now."
Carlisle caught my gaze and I reached for his hand. He nodded.
"Let's go."