Later that night, Tara was woken up by a whimper. She got out of bed and put her feet in her slippers before she realized that the noise wasn't coming from the baby monitor that was in the boys room. She looked over at Jax and he was quiet, so she went out in the hallway to investigate.
She turned down the hallway toward Opie's and Ellie's rooms, and peeked in to check on Ellie first. The young girl was sound asleep, and just as Tara was backing out the door, she heard the whimper again, much more clearly, and it was coming from Opie's room. The door was cracked slightly, so Tara pushed it open and what she saw broke her heart.
Opie was still asleep, but tears slid down his face and he was hugging a pillow tightly as he whimpered. It wasn't hard to figure out what Opie was dreaming of as he slightly rocked back and forth in the bed. Tara went to the bed and sat on the edge, smoothing Opie's wild hair our of his distraught face and spoke softly, "Opie. Wake up Opie. It's ok. It's Tara. Wake up,"
Tara continued to talk in soothing tones until Opie woke up. He gasped for air and sat up, looking around frantically, when he came awake. Once he was awake and realized he'd been dreaming, he turned away from Tara, embarrassed that she'd seen him like that. "Opie, it's ok. Jax has nightmares too. We all do. We've been through a lot. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Opie wiped a big hand down his face and spoke quietly, "It was happening all over again. I swear I was in the middle of the street, holding her body."
Tara wrapped her arms around the big man and tugged him to her. She petted his hair as he sank down on the bed and cried into her lap. She spoke soothing nonsense words to him and rubbed his back as he cried. She suspected no one had ever really given him time to cry after that first night, in the middle of the street.
After what had likely been a half hour, Jax peeked into the bedroom with a squirming Thomas in his arms. "He's hungry," he whispered to Tara. She nodded and smoothed Opie's unruly hair back again. "Ope, I've gotta go take care of Thomas. You know where to find me if you need me."
Tara slid out from under Opie and took Thomas from Jax. She went to the den and sat down on one of the big bean bag chairs. Jax sank down beside her as she got Thomas in place to nurse. "What was that," he asked quietly. "Is Opie ok?"
"I don't think he ever grieved after Donna died. Between the arrangements and all the club shit that followed, he didn't have time. Not really anyway. He never dealt with the loss. I woke up because I thought one of the kids was whimpering, but it was Opie. He was crying and hugging a pillow like he was holding her body," Tara explained as Thomas latched on and began his middle of the night feeding.
"Damn," Jax said. "Damn."
Tara stroked Thomas' little scalp. Their youngest son was nearly bald, and she loved feeling the small, downy like hair on his tiny head.
"I'm gonna go check on him," Jax said, carefully rising from his seat beside Tara. She nodded again and Jax left the room and headed down the hall to check on his best friend.
Jax found Opie laying on his side, facing the door, eyes open, when he walked down the hall. He stepped into the bedroom and asked, "Hey man, you ok?"
Opie nodded, "I was just waiting for you and Tara to go back to bed before I got up, so I didn't disturb you. Not really in the mood to lay here alone in the dark right now."
Jax nodded, "I get that man. I don't know what I'd do without Tara. When I have those nightmares, it's like I'm living the shit over again and it terrifies me."
Opie grunted in response and Jax told him he'd be right back. Jax jogged down the hall to find Tara putting her clothes back in place and getting ready to get up off the bean bag. He took Thomas from her and held out his hand to help her up. Once he'd pulled her up, he asked, "Would it be weird for you if Opie slept in our bed tonight? I know it sounds weird but he and I used to sleep in the same bed when one of us would have nightmares. We'd just leave our bedroom windows unlocked and the other one would walk over and climb in."
Tara shrugged, "It's a little odd, but it won't bother me. Who's he gonna sleep beside? You or me?"
"Whichever he wants, I guess," Jax chuckled. He handed Thomas back to Tara and headed down the hall to get Opie.
"I'm going to ask questions tomorrow when I'm more awake," she whispered as she stepped into the boy's room to put Thomas in his crib.
Jax laughed and continued on to Opie's room, telling his friend to get up, "You're bunking with us tonight, ugly."
Opie snorted and shook his head, "Just like old times, except we never had a girl between us before, huh?"
"Well, maybe not 'just' like old times, but yeah," Jax chuckled. "Tara already suspects and I didn't even hint at what we used to get up to."
Opie shook his head again and gathered his pillows. He followed Jax to the master bedroom and found Tara already waiting in the middle of the bed. She winked at them and said "Look, there's enough of me for both of you."
Jax broke out into a devilish smile, so she added, "To snuggle Jackson. Don't get any ideas this late in the night."
Opie raised an eyebrow at Jax and grinned as they slide into bed on either side of Tara. She snuggled into Jax's chest, laying her head against his heart. Opie attempted to get comfortable without touching Tara, because he wasn't sure how this was supposed to work. Tara didn't like the space, so she reached back and grabbed Opie's arm, pulling it across her and resting it on Jax's side. Opie slid closer to Tara and got comfortable against her back.
Jax felt Opie's hand rest against his hip and couldn't help but smile. It'd been a long time since he'd felt the weight of his best friend holding him as they fell asleep.
The rest of the night was quiet. Thomas and Abel stayed asleep, Ellie and Kenny were both sleeping heavily, and no one in the master bedroom had any more nightmares.
The next morning Ellie went looking for her dad and couldn't find him, so she knocked on her aunt and uncle's bedroom door. She heard Tara call, "Come in," quietly, so she carefully pushed the door open, and her eyes got wide when she sat her father in bed with Uncle Jax and Aunt Tara, his arm thrown over them both. Jax and her father were still sound asleep, but Tara was awake, snuggled happily in the two men's arms.
"Why's dad in here," Ellie asked. "I was looking for him."
"He had a nightmare and wasn't feeling well, so we told him he could sleep with us. Physical contact is very soothing," Tara explained quietly. "Did you need something sweetheart?"
"I'm kinda hungry, but I just wanted to spend some time with just dad," Ellie admitted.
Tara carefully \rolled over to face Opie and shook him a little. "Opie wake up," she whispered.
Opie came awake slowly, until his eyes popped open when it registered where he was sleeping, "Tara..." he said, embarrassed.
"Don't worry about it. Ellie needs some dad time. Go get dressed and take her to breakfast. I'll take care of Kenny, we're just going to go to the grocery store today," Tara quickly explained.
Opie nodded and crawled out of the bed. He suggested Ellie go get dressed while he did the same, and then meet him in the living room. The girl happily ran back to her room and Opie headed for his. "Thanks Tara," he whispered before gently closing the master bedroom door.
While Opie spent the morning with Ellie, taking her to breakfast at Ihop and then to Target to pick out some new hair accessories for her new school, Jax and Tara took Kenny, Abel and Thomas to the grocery store. They'd had a few canned and dried goods, as well as toddler friendly snacks leftover from Charming, but there wasn't much else. Since Portland Children's had covered Jax and Tara's moving expenses, they'd spent very little money on the drive up, just paying for the hotel and the gas in Tara's car. It gave them freedom to stock up on what they needed, and buy things in bulk sizes, since they were now a family of seven, instead of the three that they'd been ten months ago.
When they got back out to the Jeep, Tara started laughing. When Jax gave her a funny look, she pointed to the small cargo space, "You're going to have to call Opie and hope he's done with his date with Ellie because all of this is not fitting back there. They had two baskets completely full of groceries, save for Jax's basket which had Abel sitting in the child seat. Tara was wearing Thomas in a wrap, so her cart even had the child seat full of groceries.
Jax chuckled and called Opie, who had just left Target with Ellie and he came straight to the store to help Jax and Tara get all the food home. Once they'd fit about half their purchases into the back of Tara's Jeep, Opie pulled in and they loaded the rest into the back of his truck.
Once they were home, Ellie and Kenny helped carry in the groceries and then went outside to play while Jax put Abel down for a nap and Tara nursed Thomas. Opie started putting the food away, beginning with the cold stuff, since it was obvious where it went, and he wasn't sure where Tara wanted the rest.
Tara and Jax came back out and the three of them got the groceries situated in the kitchen and settled down in the living room.
"Hey babe," why don't you go take a nap? Opie and I will watch the kids and wake you if Thomas needs to be fed," Jax suggested.
"That would be nice. This is my last day to be lazy, I have to go into the hospital tomorrow and work on my office and meet some more people," she agreed. She gave Jax a kiss on the lips and gave Opie a peck on the cheek before she headed upstairs.
"What was that," Opie asked once Tara was out of sight.
"No idea," Jax said. "But we can just roll with it if you want."
Opie's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline, "What do you mean, roll with it?"
"You and I spent a lot of quality time together over the years, I'm not gonna push Tara, or you for that matter, for anything, but if it happens, I'm not complaining," Jax said easily. He rose from the couch and headed for the back door to check on Ellie and Kenny, leaving a gobsmacked Opie on the couch. Ellie was sitting in the swingset playhouse, reading a book, while Kenny was hanging upside down on the monkey bar. "Hey Ellie," he called out the door, "Where did Kenny go, and when did the chimp get here?"
Kenny and Ellie both laughed and Kenny started making monkey noises at Jax. Jax laughed and asked if they were hungry. When they both said yes, he pulled out the things he'd need for grilled cheese and quickly made a plate full of sandwiches before calling the kids in for lunch. Just as he sat the plate on the table, Abel woke up from his nap, so Jax changed his diaper and brought him out to his high chair, giving him small pieces of a grilled cheese and a cup of juice.
The small family, minus Tara and Thomas, sat around the table talking and eating until the sandwiches were gone. Kenny was nervous about starting a new school the next day, but Ellie was excited to go to a school where half the kids wanted to be her friend to get close to the club and the other half were terrified of the club and wouldn't even talk to her. They were all looking forward to starting their new routines the next day.