Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Note: I hope everyone is having the merriest of holiday seasons. I so appreciate your patience with me and your willingness to read even though it takes me so long to update. Thank you all for your kind feedback! Thank you!

She had never wanted the name Lorelai. The first night in the hospital--after Richard had gone home and she was left alone with her baby, she held her close and thought about what to name her little angel. She had finally decided on Melanie Joy--Melanie after her mother and Joy after the speechless happiness she felt. But when Richard arrived the next morning he was so excited about naming their daughter after his mother and his grandmother Victoria. "She's a Gilmore Emily, I want her to be proud of her heritage," he said proudly as he held the baby. Emily smiled as she watched the proud papa gaze adoringly at the little baby and didn't have the heart to tell him no. So, Melanie Joy was soon forgotten--maybe for the next one she thought...only the next one never came. There were a lot of things she didn't want after that. She had never really wanted a full-time nanny, it absolutely broke her heart the day when she overheard two-year old Lorelai call the nanny "Mommy." And as Lorelai grew up it seemed as if none of the things Emily wanted would happen. There would be no coming-out, no high school graduation, no college, and finally...no daughter.

An angry driver whizzing by her brought Emily out of her day dream and she realized she was going ten under the speed limit. It was a good thing she had been brought out of her thoughts because she had almost missed the exit to Stars Hollow. It was a beautiful morning and as she pulled into town she realized that she was beginning to like it more and more. At first it was totally beyond her comprehension how her child...her daughter that was raised among the elite of Hartford could choose to live in Green Acres among people that belonged in an institution. But as she had spending more time there lately, she was beginning to see the appeal of the charming town. The last time she had gone grocery shopping for Lorelai, she had even braved Doose's market instead of stopping in Hartford first. She had to dust off a few things with her handkerchief first but on the whole the market was a nice experience. She pulled into her daughter's driveway and smiled at Luke as he walked out of the house. He returned the smile.

"How is she today Luke?" she asked as she got out of the car.

"She's tired," Luke responded, "But she's okay."

"And how about you? You look tired as well," she asked gently and afterwards had to smile at herself. Who would have ever thought she would have motherly concern over Luke Danes?

"I'm fine," he said smiling. "Thanks for asking."

"Well then...I guess we'll see you sometime this evening."

"Yeah, I'll come by after work," he said. "Have a good day Emily."

She looked back at him as he walked away. While the man desperately needed a haircut, and she wished he would shave, she was beginning to like Luke Danes too.

She knocked on the door and then opened it, "Lorelai, it's me," she called. "I picked up the movies you wanted at Blockbuster last night, I must say this Michelle Pfieffer movie looks interesting. I say we watch that one first, after we finish the inn business." Over the past couple of days she had been helping her daughter with paper work Sookie had brought over from the inn. She stopped talking when she realized that Lorelai was on the phone.

"Yes, I'm fine I promise. No...no you don't need to do that. Oh of course I would love to see you." Lorelai said as she waved to her mother.

Emily smiled...was it Rory? Was she actually telling her.

"Thank you, that's so sweet. Yeah, I would love to see you and Howard. We'll put you up in the inn for free," Lorelai said and Emily looked away so Lorelai wouldn't see her face fall...Mia.

"Okay, I'll look for you then...you too Mia, bye." Lorelai said hanging up the phone and smiled at her mother, "Hi mom,"

"Hello," Emily replied taking a deep breath, "So, Mia's coming to town is she?"

Lorelai nodded, "Um...yeah, she is. I guess she found out about it when she called the inn looking for me and wants to come see me now."

"Oh, I see...so your staff is instructed to tell Mia but not your own daughter?"

"Mom, can we not do this again...please?"

Emily forced a smile, "So when is Mia coming?" she asked.

"Next Tuesday. I thought maybe we could do lunch...you, me, Sookie, and Mia, just us girls."

She should have been touched by the offer of inclusion, it was more than she would have recieved before the accident, but instead she felt patronized. There was no "us girls," when it came to Mia. She was not a part of that and she knew it.

"That sounds nice," she said cordially. "So, what business is there at the inn today?"

Helping Lorelai do her work relieved her of her jealousy somewhat and she was looking forward to watching a movie with her daughter later on in the afternoon. While Lorelai napped on the couch, she noticed some dark clouds rolling in, and made a mental note to leave as soon as the movie was over so she could get home before dark. She had picked up "The Deep End of the Ocean," at the Blockbuster in Hartford. Lorelai had told her about the movie a few nights ago and it looked interesting. By the time it started, she wished she had rented another movie. At one point Michelle Pfieffer was in the police office, talking to Whoopi Goldberg after her son Ben's kidnapping.

"Beth, you have got to survive this."

"I don't want to survive Ben,"

The worry on her face, she knew that worry--the endless worry that eats away at you from the inside. The worry that never goes away, no matter what the doctor prescribes...is your child hurt, are they hungry? are they cold? She felt it coming all back.

"Lorelai Gilmore. L-o-r-e-l-a-i G-i-l-m-o-r-e," she said, her voice shaking.

"Recent snap shot?" the policeman sounded like he was reading a script.

She desperately wished for Richard, but he had gone out looking for her hours ago. "Um...there's one in my purse." She brought it out, and handed it to the officer without looking at it.

"Has your daughter ever run away from home before?"

She shook her head, "No,"

"Is there any place she might go? A friend's house?"

"We checked at her friends...they haven't seen her."

"Mrs. Gilmore...Mrs. Gilmore..." a voice came from behind her. "We have a doctor here and he'd like to give you something."

"I'm fine," she said, and then looked down at her hands, they were shaking. She was still clutching the note, as if it were the last link to her daughter.

"Dear Emily and Richard," Emily and Richard...that cut like a knife.

"I'm taking Rory and we are going to start a new life. I am not going to marry Christopher and I am going to make it on my own. I will let you know where I am when I get settled. Please don't worry about me. Sincerly, Lorelai."

Just a few lines, and she hadn't even spelled sincerely right. That was all it took, just a few lines to say goodbye to your parents and the only home she had ever known.

"Mrs. Gilmore," Someone was talking to her again. "I know this is difficult, we are going to do everything in our power to find Lorelai. I need to inform you though that DCSF is going to have to conduct a full investigation."

"An investigation for what?"

"This is a run away case Mrs Gilmore. It is the policy of Conneticut to investigate all runaway cases for possible child abuse."

She felt as though she had been struck...child abuse.

"Don't worry, the investigation won't begin until after your daughter is found."

Richard didn't get home until three. He found her sitting by the phone, her hand clasping the reciever. She looked up at him, and he shook his head. "I checked all the bus stations, train stations, airports, I checked with all of her friends..."

"Christopher?" she asked.

"I had to keep from pummeling the young man, but he assures me he hasn't heard from her. He's worried too Emily...after all, his child is out there too."

At that she broke down, covering her face with her hands. Richard was to her in a few steps, gathering her in his arms. She held on to him for a few moments and then sat back down by the phone. "She'll come home," she said resolutely, "I know my girl."

She had stayed by that phone for the next two days, eating only when Richard could coax her to. Every time the phone rang she jumped, every time the doorbell rang, she ran for it. But it was never her.

They found her on the third day. She had called Christopher and told him where she was and although she had told him she wasn't ready to talk to her parents yet, Christopher had called them. Maybe it was Christopher's way of saying he was sorry for everthing that had happened, maybe he as a new father knew what it was like to be worried about a child and empathized with them, or maybe it was fear of Richard's pummeling but they didn't care. She was going to come home that was all that mattered. Richard went to get her and Emily had the cook prepare her favorite meal, and made plans to entice her with a whole new bedroom set. She had the maid start cleaning the whole house and sent out for dozens of irises--her daughter's favorite flower. After two hours had passed by, she sat by the window and watched for them to come. She couldn't wait to hold Rory again, to smell that sweet baby scent. It would be different this time. Lorelai would come home, she would get over whatever was bothering her and then everything would be the way it used to be. Maybe they could get a nanny and Lorelai could finish her high school courses, perhaps she and Christopher would still get married. Perhaps everything was going to be alright after all...

She jumped out of the chair as she heard the car pull into the garage. She regained her composure then, standing up straight and putting a loose hair back into place. It was better to not let Lorelai think she had rattled her, if she was calm she could regain control over the situation.

It was then that Richard walked in...alone. Richard's eyes met hers and for the first time in seventeen years she saw tears in his eyes. She went to him, searching his face. "I'm sorry Emily," he whispered, his voice breaking. "It's no use."

"Richard," she breathed, "Where is she?"

"She says that she's beginning proceedings to become an emancipated minor. She says that if we force her to come home she'll keep running away," he replied. "She's staying at an inn in town, she's got a job as a maid. At least..." his voice shook again. "At least...we know she and the baby are safe. She says that she'll call, and maybe after awhile...when things settle down...we can visit her."

"Richard...what are you saying? We...we should give up? We're her parents. She needs us."

Her husband's shoulders sagged, this man she loved and adored with all of her heart, walked quietly away. "No, she doesn't...not anymore," he replied.

The pain hurt...physically hurt even after all this time. Would it ever pass? Would there ever be a day that she could look at her daughter and not remember? The month in bed, sixteen years of forced holidays and phone calls, the snide comments, being ignored and evaded at every turn...her eyes closed and her lower lip trembled.

"Mom..." Lorelai said gently as she pressed the remote and stopped the movie. Mom...she loved being called Mom. Her mind went back to those words Lorelai had written.

Dear Emily and Richard...not Mom and Dad, not Mommy and Daddy...never again Mommy and Daddy.

"Mom, are you okay?" Lorelai asked and placed a hand on her arm.

Emily pursed her lips together and drew in a sharp breath, "I'm fine Lorelai, turn back on the movie."

"Mom, what is it?" Lorelai asked again.

"Did you not hear me? I said I was fine, now turn back on the movie," she ordered firmly.

Suddenly there was a big clap of thunder outside and the rain began to come. Emily grabbed her purse, "I have to go, I need to go home and um...I won't be able to come over tomorrow or next week. Please give my regards to Mia and Howard."

"Whoa, hold on lady, if you are going to be mad at me don't you think I should know what I did? I mean how else are you going to hold it over my head for the next ten years."

Emily knew she was kidding, but the statment was a blow none the less. She turned towards her daughter, "You know, sometimes, you really aren't funny."

"Mom, come on, what is it?" Lorelai asked again.

"Nothing, I would just like to go home if I might have permission from her royal highness?" Emily said as another streak of lightening hit the sky.

Lorelai looked hurt by the remark but shook her head, "Mom, it looks awful out there. You can't drive."

"I am perfectly capable of making that decision on my own, thank you."

"Mom... what the..." then she nodded as she realized what was happening. "I know what this is about. It's about Mia."

"Lorelai, I really don't care about who your friends are. I just would like to go home."

"Mom, maybe if you got to know Mia, you would..."

"Yes," Emily snorted sarcastically, "That's exactly what I want to do. I want to get to know perfect Mia, the wonderful, caring, Mia. So what...Pennilyn is your almost mommy, and Mia is your replacement mommy?" she turned to look at her daughter.

Lorelai ran a hand through her hair, "Mom, for God sakes it was over twenty years ago," she whispered.

"You're a fine one to talk about letting go," Emily retorted.

"Mom, I don't want to get into this right now."

"Why? Because you can't get up and leave? Because you can't walk away? That's what you do best isn't it?" Emily said as she grabbed her purse.

"I was miserable, can't you understand that?"

"No!" Emily shouted, "I don't understand what was so terrible about your life. You had a roof over your head, you had parents who were taking care of you..."

"I had parents who were ashamed of me...embaressed of me..." Lorelai shot back.

"Oh for God's sake Lorelai! Get over yourself. It wasn't all about you!"

"Mom, I know I hurt you, I know that...I got it, I got the concept. I've had to live with that every day since. I know I spoiled the plan, I know that!"

"Lorelai, it was never about my plans!"

"Oh bull!"

She felt like a wave was crashing down on her, all the emotions, all of the hurt, the anger, it all came down to this and it suprised her at how passionately it came out. "Lorelai," she cried, tears burning in her eyes. "It was your life! You don't just walk away from your life!"

Lorelai was dumbstruck. She looked as though she had been slapped. Emily turned and started to walk out.

"While you're walking away Mom, think about this," Lorelai shouted after her. "You never asked me what happened during that time I was awayz. You never once asked me!"

The door slammed and Lorelai was left alone. She wished Rory was here. She started to cry as her mother's words seeped into her. She knew this would happen, things had been too perfect. She suddenly felt six years old.

"Mommy, come play with me."

"I can't right now I have to make phone calls."

"Mommy do you have to go out tonight?"

"Lorelai, I have to go to the Red Cross meeting, this is very important"

Everything was always important, the DAR, the symphony board, her father's business parties, Everything...no matter what it was, was always more important.

A loud crack of thunder startled her. She had always been afraid of the thunder as a child. The rain poured down and it was starting to get dark. She wished Luke would hurry. Another clap of thunder made her cry out and suddenly the lights went out. She sat there alone in the dark for what seemed like hours. She hated being alone. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and she saw a flashlight beam.

"Luke?" she called, starting to cry.

"No, it's me," came the familiar voice, "Are...are you alright?"

"Mom?"

Her mother stepped into the light of the moon. She was dripping wet. "You're right," Emily said and walked over towards her. "I'm asking now. Tell me..." her voice caught in her throat. "Tell me what happened."