A/N: This one sounds kind of funny because Anise was the only name I could think of that remotely rhymed with me. Also not much of a parody per se. To the tune of 'Endangered Love' or, as some of you may know it, 'Barbara Manatee.'
Walter: We join Doctor Jackson as he follows the tragic saga of Tok'ra love while translating the High Council's record tapes.
Daniel: My darling Anise!
You are the one for me!
Sent from up above,
You are the one I love!
*Daniel clicks on the recorder; voices are heard speaking Goa'uld*
Martouf: "Please don't cry, sweet Anise,
You are so good to me,
You fill my heart with glee,
But I must go into the galaxy and do noble things for the good of all
and you can't come because you dont speak English.
Farewell!"
Anise: "But if you leave me,
who will take me to the ball?
Who's going to take me to the ball, Martouf?
I have a new dress and shoes,
and new Goa'uld lipstick!
Who will take me to the ball?"
Daniel: "I'll take you to the ball, Anise!"
Anise: "Please don't go."
Martouf: "I must."
Anise: "Don't go!"
Martouf: "I must!"
Anise: "Don't!!"
Martouf: "Must!!"
Anise: "Don't don't!!!!"
Martouf: "Must must!!!!"
*Daniel pauses the recording and begins to dance around the room*
Daniel: My darling Anise!
You are the one for me!
Sent from up above,
You are the one I love!
Oh, my darling Anise!
I'll be your mon amie!
I'll take you to the ball!
Hope your host is not too tall!
*Daniel restarts the player; once again we hear voices speaking in Goa'uld*
Anise: "Martouf, I've learned English."
Martouf: "You have?"
Anise: "I have! I learned just for you. See?"
Martouf: "Yes, Anise, my love!
I always knew you could!
I really hoped you would!
Now can we go into the galaxy and do noble things for the good of all?"
Anise: "Yes, but first, will you take me to the ball?
Oh, Martouf, will you take me to the ball?"
Martouf: "...I can't dance."
Anise: "You can't!?"
Martouf: "No."
Anise: "I must go."
Martouf: "Please don't go."
Anise: "I must."
Martouf: "Don't go!"
Anise: "I must!"
Martouf: "Don't!!"
Anise: "Must!!"
Martouf: "Don't don't!!!!"
Anise: "Must must!!!!"
*Daniel pauses the tape and resumes dancing*
Daniel: My darling Anise!
You are the one...
*Office door crashes open*
Jack: "Daniel...what are you doing?"
Daniel: "Just...translating the Tok'ra council tapes ...Jack."
Jack: "Well...maybe you should take a break. Come have lunch with us."
Daniel: "Yeah, okay."
Walter: That's all for now, folks. Join us next time to hear Martouf say:
Martouf: "Oh, Anise! I've learned to dance!"
Anise: "Oh, Martouf."