Chapter 10: The Reality Of War
The war became real at Downton it seemed to Mrs. Hughes the day when the first list of the dead came. A couple of the lads in the village who had signed up had already lost their lives. But as they poured over the list of the dead, they were overjoyed to realise Williams name was not there. For then it was ok. He was alive.
But she knew from that day on Daisy was going to feel sick until she had checked the paper. It was always going to be the worst part of her day. As well as the best, if god willed it.
She did not think she was overly religious but she found herself praying to the lord more and more of late to keep William alive.
He had to make it home.
Yet, she thought, if they needed any other proof that Downton was in favour of late with him then she need go no further than the nursery.
The baby had come at the right time there was no debate about it. They had needed the ray of hope and the child still would have been that if little Robert had been a girl. It had been too long since there had been a child in the house and she thought that as one who was able to clearly remember little baby Lady Mary crawling about on the floor on her father's study.
She had always believed the Earl of Grantham to be a good father and she knew the three girls were proud to call him theirs. But for how much longer?
The rumour mill at Downton was in full swing – his lordship was the next to be going away to war.
She did not think she had ever heard such nonsense in all of her life. His lordship had fought in the last war – there was no need she could see for him to do so this time. He had to be at Downton with his baby, his daughters, his wife and his mother. She did not like to think how the three girls would react if he went away.
And so she went around her duties telling anyone who asked her if it was true that it was rubbish. That was why when Carson confided the truth in her latter that night; she was so surprised to hear it was the truth.
The three young ladies of the house were as shocked as anyone else when they found out the news, yet they were also the most terrified. As Cora knew and the servants did too, Robert was sure the girls had an idea as to what was going on and he wanted them to hear it from him – and then he would go and tell the dowager countess.
Hewas not looking forward to any of it.
He sat the three girls down on the sofa opposite him and stood before them. He pondered maybe it would have been best to wait till that night, to give them one more day off peace. Yet he had to get to them before anyone else could. He had called Sybil back from the hospital to tell her with her sisters he was going to be leaving them and now they were before him. Sybil looked so grown up in her uniform.
When his daughter had answered the call to uniform so quickly, how could he not?
She held both her sisters hands as they sat there, Edith having forgotten her annoyance with her now something so serious was so clearly afoot.
"Now, I think the three of you know why I have called you here today – but before I start, I want to say, I want no tears from any of you. We are at war girls, and I am afraid that means you are all going to have to grow up a lot quicker than I intended you too," he said with a deep sigh. They all nodded bravely it seemed to him but he knew they were not going to get through the interview without weeping, despite what he had said. How could they?
"Now, I am going to go to France, having heard back from the Home Secretary who passed my letter on to Kitchener. It seems by this time next week I will have left you," he admitted, his face turned to the window. "I know you girls are going to be alright in my absent. You are good, wonderful, brave girls and I trust in that goodness, as well as your virtue." Mary felt as if her father had kicked her in the stomach.
"But what I really want to ask is that the three of you be a comfort not only to one another but also to darling Mama. She is quite distressed by my decision as I am sure you have realised and she is going to need all the help you can give her right now, with the house, as well as your brother.
"I will be behind the lines a lot of the time. There will be no account to worry for me."
"Papa, you're going to a war zone," Said Mary with a shake of her head. "How can we not worry for you?"
He had seen that question coming and he did not know how he was meant to answer it. He had always hoped he was going to be able to answer his girl's questions no matter what they were but it seemed the war had already robbed him of that.
"I don't know. I don't know."
He turned to see all of them had silent tears rolling down their cheeks. But the real surprise was when he realised his own cheeks were wet as well.
John Bates had been among the first to hear his lord was going back to war and for a moment he wondered if he should go back with him. No one had ever been so good to him as the Earl of Grantham had been unless it was the head housemaid at his establishment.
But he knew with his dishonourable discharge and his injury, he was going to be no good to man or beast in France. No, the best thing for him was to stay there and help Carson and the ladies.
He knew his limits and he was not going to fool himself by trying to over reach himself.
Besides, he had said to Anna he was not going to leave her and he was not going to break his word – not to her. She who had become so important to him.
As he sat on his break in the kitchen, she came in and gave him a soft smile. The two of them were closer than they had been so far and both of them could feel it. It was no good trying to deny it. And so instead of sitting on the opposite side of the table to him, she went to his side and gently took his hand.
And he had let her - he was done with fighting his feelings. As long as it stayed honourable. "I did not think his lordship was going to go back to war," she said to him.
"Neither did I. But it does seem he feels as if he has to. I think it was seeing William go off that did it to him," he analysed softly. They had all found it hard when he had gone but to know you could go and not, when you had seen such an emotional good bye... when you had seen how honourable and brave he had been.
Well, he knew if he could, then perhaps, if he had not given his word to Anna, he would be following. But he couldn't and he was glad of it and he was too much of a fool to say otherwise to himself.
"Anna, I have been thinking a lot on William and Daisy's good bye as well," He sighed. It was an inevitably that they all should. "And I think it is time I found ,my wife," he told her.
She felt as if he had twisted a knife into her gut. She had thought the two of them were getting a lot closer – so for him to say...
"Mr Bates, I don't understand – I know you have had your reservation over the two of us, but-" Anna fumbled but he shook his head.
"You misunderstand me. I am not looking for her to seek a reconciliation but so that I can seek a divorce. Anna, I know I have never been as open as I should have been with you or told you just how much affection I feel for you, but if the truth is known, and I feel it must be now –" he said he squeezed her hand with one and brushed the other up against her cheek, "but – Anna, I adored you. And I want to be free so I can be with you – make an honest women out of you as you deserve to be – if you'll have me..." he trailed off...
"Mrs Bates, don't play with me," she said as a single crystallized tear feel from her eye.
"I am not. Anna, from the day I met you – you are the apple of my eye. And I want to make you my wife."
"Yes! Yes..." she said as she laughed through her tears. And in a most unlady fashion, she jumped off of her chair and into his arms and at last, they kissed...
They kissed for a long time.
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