Episode 204: Like a God on All Fours

The darkness of the hallway, after watching the sun rise high in the clear sky, makes me a bit dizzy. I don't know where I'm going, but when my feet stop, I recognize the number on the door. Eric's room. I raise my hand to knock, though let it fall before I do. Once again, I can't make up my mind. It's late in the morning now, and he deserves a quiet rest. I stick my hands in my pockets to prevent myself from doing anything stupid. But, there, I find two cards. The one Sookie gave me of her room. And the one she handed me, two days ago, when we first checked in. So, I'm fiddling with the key to his door. In desperation, I let my forehead rest on the wood.

That's when I distinctly hear a loud crack coming from inside. Without further hesitation, I slip the keycard in the lock.

He suddenly turned to see her enter. His eyes wild and his fists clenched. The room was in ruin. Lamps were knocked over, drapes were shredded, mirrors were shattered, and the bed was upside down. Eric was standing bare-chested, his shirt torn on the floor, a chair in his hand. Lines of blood were falling from his eyes and on his torso. But also from his ears, because of how advanced the day already was. She quickly closed the door behind her. He looked so lost; she couldn't let anyone see him like that. Part of her wished Pam was here. She surely would have known what to do. Or would she? This situation was unprecedented. And nothing anyone could do would be enough.

She fumbled for the right words:

"I'm so sorry."

It felt so weak. The chair went crashing against the wall. He let out a roar that made the whole building quake on its foundations. However, overcoming her fear, she took a step forward, then tentatively put a hand on his arm to try and calm him down.

"He didn't suffer."

Eric looked at her, dumbfounded. As if the realization, the reality of it all, only now came crashing down on his shoulder. She was holding Godric's jacket. His anger immediately subsided and, with it, all his strength forsook him. He collapsed on his knees before her. As he started to sob, her heart broke all over again, and she slipped both her hands in his hair in a motherly embrace. Without any resistance, he hugged her back, his head finding her belly and pressing against it. She grabbed his shoulders to hug him closer, and tried to lower herself to his level. But he wouldn't let go. So, she let herself descend to the floor, where she could abandon herself to the embrace. Now both lying on the carpet, he softly lifted her shirt to bury his nose in her bellybutton. She smiled softly, clutching his shoulder with one hand, and caressing his hair with the other. Within minutes, they both fell asleep, there on the rug.

I wake up late in the day, and Eric is still resting. He feels cold and dead in my arms. And for a second, his bloody form sparks a panic, that I quickly get in check. I wiggle out of his embrace, though, so I can stand up. Lying there, he doesn't seem as tall as he really is. He looks more like a boy curled up on the floor. An awful voice is whispering in my head that no hunter ever had such a clean chance, especially seeing how old he is. I smile and tuck a few strands of hair behind his ear. Then, I absentmindedly try to wipe his red tears, though I only manage to smear them on his cheeks. I wipe my fingers on my jeans before I figure it's going to stain. Then, I realize my shirt is already soaking red. I sigh and head for the shower.

When I come out, having nothing to change into, I dress in one of the fluffy hotel robes. Then, hearing my stomach growling, I snuck in the little fridge for some nuts and a bar of chocolate. I can't call room service in there – they would freak out! –, but I don't want to leave him alone either. So, I'll survive on snacks. I then pace around the room, straighten up what I can and sit cross-legged next to him. I can't believe I'm thinking dumb things like 'I'd rather watch his sleeping face than TV'. I don't even care what they're saying about last night on the news. I already know they'll miss the most important event. The most important loss.

He opens his eyes before the sun is set. I don't know since when he was awake, but he knew I was here, because he is looking right at me. His expression completely neutral. I can't even sense in his muscles what is intentions could be. He is just looking at me.

Then, suddenly, I'm in his arms, lifted up the floor, and he sits me on the dresser. I don't know how he can move so fast while also treating me with delicacy. I don't say anything, though, not knowing what to expect next. I want to be there for him, as far as my limit goes. Yet, I'm not sure where it would be drawn. With him, I'm never sure. There is no way I would give myself to him now, however. As much as I want to be there, I wouldn't want my first time to be a distraction from his suffering. Because it would bruise my ego, sure, but also because I believe he should confront his pain, not elude it.

"I can still smell him inside you."

I can't believe the drops Godric gave me last night would still be perceptible in my blood. Then again, their bond is stronger than I can understand. His large hands softly brush the hair off my shoulders. Then, he caresses my jaw with his thumb, and, without letting out his fangs, he very slowly lowers his face on my clavicle, pushing away the fabric of the robe. When he deeply inhales, my arms snake on their own accord around his shoulders, and my thighs tighten around his waist. I drive my nose in his hair and, in turn, breathe him in.

She dived into the salted see immediately. Its coldness was vivifying. A shoal of fishes was swimming all around her, so close she could have caught them with her bare hands. Soon though, she had to come out of the water for air.

Eric had raised his head and was looking at her with narrow eyes. He knew what she was doing. Without a glimmer of hesitation, she lifted her fingers to his lips, sought for entrance and grazed her thumb on his teeth. He quickly understood what she meant. His fangs sprung up and she scraped her skin on their sharp end. A few drops of blood pooled on his tongue while her other fingers caressed his cheek. Then, she sunk her head in the crook of his neck and inhaled languidly.

First, they were on a wooden wharf, looking out to the North Sea. A child, waiting in anguish for his father, gone at war. Eric's embrace tensed around her and she let go of the vision, let it fade away into the past. She looked for something more cheerful. A feast. They smelled meat and alcohol. They heard drunken songs, and felt the warmth of wood fire and candlelight. There were strong men all around them, enthralled in the aftermath of victory. Beer was streaming down their beards; laughter erupted from their chest. They watched a pretty young servant come around them to refill their tankards. She smiled shyly at them. Eric smiled back against Jill's palm. Out with the feast.

He was still sucking blood out of her thumb, not letting the thin wound close. Suddenly, ocean-spray splashed their faces, and nothing on the horizon. They were sailing in the open sea. Behind them, the sails were flapping and their dragon-headed ship left a long trail behind. This was peaceful. Their father was standing next to them, the crown on his head. The men were quietly chanting; their voices blended with the whistling of the breeze. A veiled sun warmed their skins.

Eric was still breathing Godric's scent on her. His eyes were closed and his muscles relaxed. She stroked his hair while they enjoyed their illusion of carefreeness.

"Eric? Eric!"

We're both brought back to our senses by the loud pounding on the door. So much for not eluding pain. I don't even know for how long we were lost in that moment, or for how long Bill was knocking.

"Go away."

Bill knows not to insist when he hears his sheriff's exasperated tone. But Sookie doesn't:

"Jill, honey, are you in there?"

I can't help but smile at her worried, motherly tone.

"- I'm alright, Sook.

- Sam called your phone six times today. I thought it might be important! I didn't pick up, I was asleep, and I can't-

- Go away!"

Eric's roar resonates through the room.

"Alright! We're going! – Sookie doesn't even know when she should be afraid. – In fact, we're taking a plane back home, right now. We'll see you there, I guess."

After a moment of silence, we hear them walking away to the elevator. Eric doesn't move, still pressed against me, and me still sitting on the dresser. I venture:

"Maybe we should go too…"

He only sighs. Then, without looking at me, he turns away.

"I'm going to take a shower."

And the bathroom door slams.

I hesitate for a minute. Then, when I hear my stomach growling, I decide to borrow one of Eric's button down shirt and throw on my only pair of jeans – since the other one got shredded. I softly close the door to the room before running to the elevator; I hope to catch Sookie and Bill in the lobby, before they leave.

The moment the elevator doors open on the first floor, I realize my mistake. Instantly, every single vampire here, and as far as the bar, turns to look at me. Bill runs to me at his greatest speed and takes my arm to ask:

"- Where is Eric?

- Upstairs.

- You're not safe here without him or Godric."

And my weapons are still in Sookie's and his suite. Thankfully, I catch sight of Isobel who was with us during the debrief. Her too appears at my side the second she sees me.

"- Don't worry. I'm sheriff now. – She raises her voice. – And you are under my protection, like you were under Godric's."

She then pulls me apart and mutters:

"Where is Godric, by the way? I haven't seen him or Eric since yesterday."

I truly don't want to be the one that break the news to her. So I just shake my head as innocently as I can. Then I notice that her gaze is lowering on my thighs, and she suddenly widens her eyes.

"Whose blood is that?"

I glimpse at my jeans, only to realize that I wiped Eric's bloody tears on them last night.

"That's nothing!"

Damn that defensive tone again. I really need to work on getting rid of that… If I survive long enough to do so.

"That's vampire blood!"

Isobel's fangs sprang up a second before every other fang in the lobby follows. Suddenly, they're all standing and approaching me with murder in their eyes. Only Bill steps back, dragging a bewildered Sookie with him. He knows he can't help me. A human with some vampire blood on their close would be bad enough; but a hunter? No explanation could save me right now.

"That's my blood."

The tall Viking makes his awaited entrance. He walks toward us with a nonchalant pace and his placating smirk.

"- Blood is sacred, Eric. You can't share it with a hunter!

- I didn't. Godric did, though. To save her. Plus, she is mine. And I'm the oldest one here. So if any of you so much thinks of touching her, they'll find me waiting.

- I'm sheriff, now, Eric, you can't talk to me that way."

He looks down at her with a raised eyebrow that spells "really?". Isobel chooses to let it go; she is still a pacifist at heart. She retracts her fangs and lets go of my bruised arm.

"Where is Godric, anyway?" She asks.

Eric's smirk can't hold. He turns to me.

"- Go. Get on the plane.

- Are you sure?"

He stares at me for a second. And so many emotions seem to pass through his eyes, that I don't know if he is angry or sad, if he wants to be rid of me or if he'll miss me.

"Go."

I can only tell the others to wait for me, and go up to their room to swiftly pack.

They got to Bon Temps after sunrise. In the car carrying Bill's coffin, Sookie was anxiously watching Jill call Sam back, for the hundredth time, in vain.

"- And he didn't leave any voicemail?

- No.

- Jason isn't answering his phone either. Nor Tara."

Jill was trying to find a reasonable explanation as to why they were all unreachable.

"Something's going on, Jill. I don't like it."

They both fell silent for a minute, until they noticed the 'welcome' sign at the edge of town. It was badly vandalized. But the worse was behind it. It seemed like a hurricane had devastated the street.