AN: Hey guys, see I can sometimes be a good updater. Who am I kidding that's a lie, the only reason I've been good is because I have a night job were I don't have to do anything so I write... Anyway

TRIGGER WARNING

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Alec managed to get home before dinner, which was a surprise to him. The car ride back was one of the slowest of his life. Everything past by and if he had been looking out the window he would have been able to catch every detail that went past him. But he couldn't, because instead of looking out the window he spent it trying to sneak a glance at Magnus every little while.

Alec was more surprised than anything that the last thing Magnus said before they left the house hadn't sent him into a downward spiral and then into a panic attack. Sure he did freak out at first because Magnus Bane thought that this was a date.

And he thought about that for a while, tried to look from every angle at hoe it could have been a date, but Alec didn't really know what a date consisted of. He had basically zero dating experience, and what he did have was either him trying to cover up his sexuality or memories that he had been fighting against all afternoon.

Really all he knew about a date is that it consisted of two people, in his case himself and Magnus. It normally had some kind of food, Magnus had made popcorn and gotten them some drink before he turned the T.V. on maybe that counted as food. And butterflies at the end, yeah Alec was definitely feeling something and it was the end. He didn't understand what he was feeling, he would say it was butterflies in his stomach but every time he glanced over at Magnus he smiled and then looked down ashamed and tried to hide it.

"Here we are." Magnus said, breaking the silence in the car.

Alec looked outside, turns out Magnus was right and the longest car ride of Alec life was over, but it wasn't the worst.

Alec turned to look over at Magnus he didn't know what to say to him. If this was the end of a date was he supposed to tell him something romantic? Or maybe give him a kiss, after all Alec had spent the day at Magnus eating his food and taking up his time didn't he now owe Magnus for that?

"Don't worry, Alexander, you don't have to stress about anything. I had a wonderful day today and I just hope you did as well." Magnus said, he placed his right hand on top of Alec's as he looked him in the eye.

"Y-yeah, I did." Alec said.

"Good, I suppose I'll be seeing you in biology then, shall I?" Magnus asked, raising one of his perfect eyebrows.

"Um, yeah." Alec said, not smoothly at all. He didn't feel like this was the way to end things, maybe he should be honest with Magnus after all he had done for him today. "And um maybe outside of biology?" He ended up asking innocently.

Magnus's face lit up, his smile made the whole car glow and it spread onto Alec face.

"I would like that very much Alexander." He said, and gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze.

Alec looked down from Magnus's smile and on to his hand on his lap. He smiled, this was as Magnus had said a good date.

"I, uh have to go…" Alec said, breaking the comfortable silence that they held.

"Ok, I suppose I'll have to let you go, but remember to text me ok?"

"Yeah, Ok."

Alec tried to walk into his house as quietly as he could, he hoped that no one had noticed Magnus's car lingering on the driveway. Though he didn't regret how he'd spent his evening, not even a little bit, he was now remember how different it was too his usual behavior. He just hoped he could do as he always does and go unnoticed even in his own house.

Though it was good that Jace had called him as his parents would be furious and would be asking questions about his whereabouts if he was gone too long. Over the past year things had become tense between him and his parents. It used to be that he was the most free out of all the Lightwood children, as he never got up to trouble.

His parents never noticed when he was out late or would never come home, as they did the same. They never noticed that he went from the child they wouldn't ever have to worry about to the one that they should be the most worried about. Even before the accident he began to change, and as he crept into his house and tried to sneak into his room he fought back more memories as to why he had changed so much.

He was halfway up the stair when he heard a voice call out, "Alec? Where have you been?" it wasn't a shrill voice that belong to his mother when she fretted, if she ever did, or the deep booming voice of his father that seemed to be stuck in a state of permanent disappointment. No, the voice was a rare soft and sweet one that came from his sister Isabelle.

"I uh, was studying." He said, only half lying to his baby sister.

"Uh huh, that I can believe but who were you with?" She inquired. She was standing at the top of the stairs, overlooking him at the railing as he continued to try to walk up the stairs. Though it was proving difficult for him to continue his way up the stairs and try not to lie to his sister but not tell her the truth as well.

"A friend." He said

"A friend?"

"Yeah, you know a person that another person talks to maybe hangs out with occasionally." He shrugged.

"Alec, I know what a friend is but no offensive bro but I think I would know if you had a friend."

Alec tried to remain uninsulated by his sister's jab at his pride. Partly because it was true, Izzy knew a lot about his life, not everything definitely not everything, but most. And if he had a made a new friend at the school they had just started going to, and somehow she had already became the queen of the school, she would know.

"Well I have a friend, it can happen you know. Things can slip your watch." Alec said.

Izzy frowned, "I'm sorry Alec I know I haven't been the best sister lately."

Alec's foot missed the final step at the top and he tumbled face first into the floor. His chin scarped the ground first and his arms instinctually tried to protect himself but they flayed his mind too caught up on what Izzy had just said to react properly. He felt his whole body connect with the floor, the momentum that he had previously been using to walk up the stairs was now propelling him into the floor.

Izzy had run over from where she was and shouted his name. So much for quietly getting home he thought before his face really started to sting.

"Alec are you ok?" Izzy asked him. She was turning his body over and so he was laying on his back.

"Yeah, Iz I'm fine." He said, he started to sit up but she pushed him back down, he didn't like that. "Iz! I'm fine."

She filched her arms back her, face grew an apologetic look on it. "I'm sorry Alec, I just wanted to make sure you were OK."

Alec sighed and placed his hands on the ground, he was sorer than he would like to admit after such an embracing tumbling, and his hands stung from the contact they had made with the wood flooring. He looked up at his sister, and she was looking down back at him, her mouth was opened slightly and her lips were shaking. Her perfectly sculpted eyebrows were closer together, causing worried wrinkles to appear between them.

"I'm fine, ok? I just missed the top step. You know I can be a klutz, and besides you're not a bad sister. In fact you're the best sister I could have ask for." Alec said, trying to take on of Izzy's shaking hands.

She nodded in response, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Just please be careful Alec… I hate when I see you hurt."

"I promise I will." He said, promising something else to himself than she thought he was.

He stood up and brushed himself off, his hands and chin stung and the rest of his body felt like it was going through an aftershock. After checking himself over for injuries he decided he could attend to his own medical needs and assured Izzy again that he would be fine and slipped into the bathroom.

Underneath the sink there was a first aid kit, this was the family kit. He opened it up and found a few useful supplies, it was a fully stocked kit that had only been used for band aids over paper cuts.

Alec locked the door and took his sweater off the make sure all of his injuries were ok, and that none of them hand been opened in the fall. He left his t-shirt on and the most recent ones, he figured if there was no blood then he was ok. His arm was sore to move as his twisted it to inspect for any friction burns that may have occurred, however he noticed that none of the soreness was from his recent fall.

He looked in the mirror, trying not to flinch at his own reflection, and looked at the damage done to his chin. There was a red spot there that looked like it was going to have some superficial scabbing.

He frowned at his reflection, he was hideous and somehow Magnus had wanted to spend his day with him, now he looked even worse with his chin like this. He didn't know how he was going to cope with school the next day, at least it was Friday that way he could spend the whole of his weekend holed up in his room.

Dinner was as pleasant as the affair could be at the Lightwood house. The tension in the house only seemed to be rising, and Alec wasn't sure what or who was causing it. Normally he would have assumed the cause was himself, and lead himself into a spiral of self-doubt and depression, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't think of anything to make this dinner worse than any of the others they had had in the last year.

Jace and Izzy weren't talking to each other, no bickering or trying to show off who was better at what. They weren't even sparring glances at each other. Instead Izzy was shifting in her seat, moving from side to side in an unusual unlady like manner. He gaze was passing between her parents and biological brother. Her expression changing with each person each time her eyes landed on them and then back down to her food.

Her adoptive brother on the other hand was a different story. Jace wasn't one to show any of his true emotions on his sleeve, if something bothered him he would blow it off in favor of a sarcastic comment. But at the dinner table his was gripping tight onto his fork and ruthlessly stabbing each piece of food as though they had been behind the worst moments of his life.

The adult Lightwoods held there normal stature, the model face of a Lightwood. No real emotion escape from behind those masks, giving Alec no indication as to what had happened. Or if his parents had anything to do with his siblings fowl moods.

As usual as soon as the meal was over Alec tried to escape it, though this time his mother began to call out at him. He turned around to look at her, to see what she had wanted then he noticed she had silenced herself. Jace was giving Robert a look of distain and Izzy had dropped her cutlery onto her plate causing all vocal noise from Maryse to stop.

Giving no indication to speak again Alec took that as a sign that he was free to leave and hide in his room. He took this mercy and ran.

By the time the rest of the house was asleep, or pretending to be asleep, Alec had sat himself in front of his door, his back against his bed. He was right after all the memories he had been holding back all day had finally hit him. His mind had been attacked with images he just couldn't handle.

His body was covered in sweat as he breathed heavily. In one hand he held a knife, it wasn't to hurt himself but for anyone that would have walked through his locked door. His paranoia had increased and every small sound made him jump. His lights were on but a towel stuffed under the door so no one knew he still was awake.

He stayed that way, forcing himself to stay awake. Because he knew if he fell asleep, nothing could stop his screams tonight.