Panic's Note: Hey guys I thought I'd go ahead and give you another chapter to make up for being MIA. The goal is to get at least a chapter if not two done per week until I catch ground on the current season. We'll see how well I can stick to this schedule, but so far so good! So expect to see updates from me every Tuesday and Saturday!
I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter and deviation away from the group. Bear in mind that these chapters are for development and a sort of median between the two seasons. I'm glad you guys all seem to be enjoying Kyra as a character. You'll get some more exposure to her alone in this chapter, but the ending should get things back in motion from this detour. I've got a lot in store for you guys!
I love all the wonderful reviewers, followers, readers, and favs tagged to this piece. It means the world to me guys. I just hope some of you come back and are still interested in this.
And back to the action!
Chapter 10: Carry On
Ice blue swollen eyes remained fixed to the black clotted beads of blood that fell along the arrow. Its' raining trail lead an awkward splattered path down onto her fingertips. The cool feel of the dead fluid felt oddly soothing to her. It was another thing she could literally feel. Yet, another piece of this world that made everything around her a reality. No matter how hard she tried to withdrawal, to escape, to find a quiet corner of her mind and die within it; she couldn't. There would always be this base line sense that would keep her struggling to remain standing. Any pain would break her from succumbing to this world.
Her focus suddenly darted away from the soaked arrow and rotted flesh hinging on it to her pale hands. The splatter of fluid and flesh alike caked around and rolled onto her hands. All sense of feeling soothed quickly slipped from her mind followed by a clumsy step away from the dead corpse. She shook her head violently as she slammed her back against the broad brittle trunk of a tree. "No, no, no, no, no," she muttered, franticly rubbing her hands over her jeans. She could feel a slight sting along the palm of her hand. Tears blurred the edge of her vision as she directed her attention down to her scabbed palms with a few forced blinks.
"Fuck!" Her voice cracked as her hands returned to her jeans in a haphazard attempt to remove the dirt and walker blood now mingling with the many small scrapes on her palm. A small part of her mind flagged a red alarm at the sight. Her previous life flashed in with each frantic motion she made. "This isn't, it's not fair." She croaked, lifting her hand to see a small dot of red blood seeping from a cut near her thumb. She stared at the now open wound. Her gray tinted skin around it noted the mix of dirt and walker blood still on it.
Her vision blurred over as more tears fell freely from her eyes. The want to control her emotions was gone. Her final grips on hope fell as she drew her knees into her chest and wrapped her arms securely around them. The likely infected hand gripped tightly to the inside of her arm. The rational part of her mind focused on containing and closing the wound with added pressure. Although everything in her body screamed for her to stop, to just give in. No one was coming to save her and no one could. It was game over. There was no way the blood of the dead hadn't found a way into her system, which given the conditions wasn't ready to fight anything. A strangled muffled sob racked her body, while she squeezed even tighter in on herself.
She couldn't get a grasp on any coherent thought. There wasn't anything there to hold on to. Her own two eyes had witnessed and assessed the damage. She couldn't even place what compelled her to stare at the dead walker as its blood contaminated her skin. A sudden rush of rage flushed through her as another sob rattled her small frame. All remaining life within her wanted nothing more than find Daryl and drive an arrow through his idiotic skull. That would be the best reward for this awful pending death.
She tilted her head giving just enough sight to focus in on the protruding arrow. Its roughly carved edges left tiny slithers of wood jutting out around it. The chunks of rotted decayed flesh sunk in around it. Kyra threw out her foot kicking the side of the walker. This was his fault, not hers. She had killed the damn thing beside her. She had actually done it right. Proven, for a second time, she could kill them when forced to. That, maybe, somewhere deep inside her she wasn't afraid and could fight this chaos. In a sick way this could be Shane's fault too. She pushed out her foot again giving it an even harder kick causing the withered body to rustle over the leaves. He had made her learn this style of execution. It was close range effective, but also dangerous. It was a method that she would've never attempted if he hadn't slammed the crowbar into her hand and engaged the walker.
Another choking sob rang out from her dried throat as she curled back in on herself. The edges of her sanity caved, while she shuffled her feet to get farther away from the tainted blood seeping walker and arrow lodged within it. She sucked in a shallow breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Her mind narrowed in on the hand now shaking as it held tightly to her chest. Her body braced waiting for the inevitable searing pain to course through her veins.
A shrill scream blared inside the ambulance. A slender woman lay doubled over in a fetal position on the gurney. Her flushed skin was damp with the sheen of sweat. The heat radiated off it in a testament to the scream piercing through her throat.
"Ma'am," Kyra tried, reaching a hand to rest on her shoulder. "Ma'am I need you to stay calm. Okay?" Kyra added as she glanced back to the limited supplies at her disposal. "I need you to tell me what's hurting. Can you do that?" She asked without a response. Quickly, she moved to the supplies her eyes roamed over the various vials trying to find the most effective pain suppressant.
The rattle of the gurney scraping over the metal floor of the ambulance recaptured Kyra's attention. Her eyes locked to the seizing woman. "Jared, stop! She's, something's not, I don't know, oh god, she's coding!"
A rustle and dragged step forced Kyra's eyes to open wide. She desperately tried to focus on the actual world as her mouth bit down on her arm in order to stop her audible crying. Her body shook pathetically as she pushed herself even closer to the tree. The sound grew harsher. Her eyes jumped to the direction of the noise. A distant wheezing and gurgle soon joined into the rustle of leaves being dragged along the wooded ground. Kyra choked back another hopeless sob. Her mind and body frantically reached for an action. The world around her once again became a slow moving scene. Her mind grabbed for an action that wasn't there. Addition cluttered sounds of snaps only made it worse. A walker was closing in on her. Yet, she couldn't make herself move.
"Is that a-"Jared started, reaching down to pull back the hem of the woman's skirt. "What is that?" He breathed.
"It doesn't matter." Kyra grunted as she quickly unbuttoned the woman's shirt. "We need to stabilize her. Help, dammit!" Her attention stayed tied to the dying, while her fingers released the final button allowing her enough room to place pads upon the chest.
"Kyra," Jared's voice came across weaker. "That's, uh, that's a bite." His clumsy steps echoed through the ambulance.
"A wha-"Kyra began, but was soon cut off by Jared who rushed towards the patient and frantically unstrapped the gurney from its dockings. "What are you doing?" She yelled at a loss, launching herself at him in attempt to make him stop.
"Listen to the radio!" Jared growled back before slamming his weight back against her.
Kyra bit down harder on her arm as her vision blurred again. The silenced sob sent another rough rattle through her body. The faint sound of twigs and leaves crackled below her as she willed herself to focus. Slowly, she reached a shaky hand out to the ground beside her. Her gaze remained glued to her periphery, while her hand haphazardly pushed through the leaves. The approaching walker was easily within range of her. Its chorus of crippled sounds was the only thing she could define. Her breath caught when her hand found a wooden arrow. Frantically, she pulled the weapon back to her side. Every muscle within her body tensed at the ready. Her shaky grip on the arrow once again bit into her hand.
Corroded remnants of a leather boot was the first thing Kyra saw before the mangled body of the walker came into view. Her breath caught in a ragged gasp. The startled sound was enough to attract the walker's attention. Its pale cyan lifeless eyes fell on her as its black coated mouth opened eagerly. Before Kyra had a chance to fully get a visual of the thing it had launched itself down on top of her.
Kyra struggled for a breath as she pushed against the force of the walker bearing down on her. Its teeth snapped loudly with each greedy reach its bony hand made. A slight yelp escaped her. Her body flailed frantically trying to get away from it. The weight of the walker forced her to hold it back. Helpless eyes darted from the walker to the arrow as she desperately tried to figure out an escape. The walker pushed harder down on her with another weak grasp, which allowed its half rotted face to come even closer to her own. The suffocating smell initiated a choked back gag.
Roughly, she pushed against the dead weight. Her hands dug into the rotted flesh, while her legs kicked uselessly against it. For every inch she gained the walker recovered two. Her vision blurred again as her arms began to give against it. Everything she had promised. Every life she had surrendered. Every part of her went out in a final strangled sob. Her eyes snapped shut the moment her arms gave way. The only instinct left within her drove the arrow upwards aimlessly into the walker. Its dead weight pounded into her sending a sharp burst of pain branching out through her body. The little bit of life left within her came to a shuddering stop.
Kyra couldn't move. She could just watch. The scene before her seemed so entirely unbelievable, impossible even. Yet, the spray of red jutting out between the many people, or dead people, the walkers, was real. It didn't seem like any time had passed from leaving the ambulance to standing in this building with her eyes locked on the cruel scene she'd left. She didn't feel anything as she watched. A part of her didn't want to comprehend it. There was no logical or even medical explanation for this. People didn't die and come back to life. They didn't come back to kill with teeth and hands. She flinched and took a small step back as another spray of blood fell upon the sea of walkers. The slightest glimpse of mangled flesh peeked above the crowding bodies.
A single tear broke her frozen state as she saw another slither of flesh fly over the walkers. Her hand shook uncontrollably with white knuckles holding fiercely to the black standard issued gun. He wouldn't be right behind her. She turned her head away from the visual. Her life had been his final call.
A faint distant echo of something dripping and oozing next to her ear sent the first spark through her defeated body. Something damp and cool rested heavily against her face as her head shook weakly. The odors that surrounded her worked their way into her noise causing another jolt to branch out through her body. Another soft plunk of something falling by her ear was the final trigger to startle her back into awareness.
Kyra's eyes jolted open. The sight of wires meshing in with the faint light coming through the tangled trees above was enough to make her shift her body painfully against the thing holding her down. Her head shook forcefully while she tried to understand what had happened. Her arms struggled under the weight with each strained attempt she made to free them.
Something damp dragged across her face sending a disgusting odor trailing up her noise. Her ragged breath caught against the smell as the world finally clicked back into place. A slight grunt escaped her as she pushed harder against the weight. Her body twisted oddly giving her enough space to slide a foot away from the source of her struggle.
She found herself staring up at the maze of tangled branches above, while she gulped in the air. The thought of facing what she had just rolled out from under sent a line of goose bumps down along her neck. Her mind strayed desperately back to Sean. In that moment she wanted to cling to those memories. It had been her only reminder as to why she was alive for so long, yet she couldn't seem to get a grasp on them. Not even the memory she had just revisited was within reach.
A twisted painful expression scrunched on her face as she tried to remember what he had looked like. Her thoughts zipped around in a tight spiral allowing no memory to shine through. She couldn't remember. She couldn't get any real image of him to come back to her. Her mind quickly turned to his voice and came up empty. There wasn't any recollection of the man she had forced herself to survive for. The sting of fresh tears pricked at the edge of her eyes at this realization. Somehow over the course of months she had forgotten him and it wasn't until now that she felt she had truly lost him.
Shakingly, she reached a hand up to her face. Slime and dirt clung to her hand as she dragged it along her cheek. A cool trail was left in its tracks as she tried to find him. Without meaning she couldn't get back up. There wasn't anything left in her to give if she couldn't remember what she'd lost. This world was sick and horrible, but through her memories she'd made it this far. Her hand returned to the edge of her cheek. Chunks of something disgustingly moist met the touch startling her back to her surroundings.
The zigged circles and endless desperate thoughts continued to race through her mind as she tilted her head to the right. A walker lay with a cracked and seeping skull. An arrow pressed diagonally through it creating two entry points. The miscellaneous clump pressed between her hand and face sent a wave of nausea through her stomach. Her heart rate began to climb frantically as she forced herself to sit up. Her gaze didn't stray from her kill. A tight cramp gripped onto her abdomen fiercely as the acidic burn of bile rising coursed through her throat.
She didn't have time to suck in a breath to combat the sickness. Within seconds she found herself staring at the forest floor and splatter of dark blood slung across it. Her body heaved horribly as the bile finally found its way up. She squeezed her eyes shut against the raw pain. The cool clammy feeling of left over walker clinging to her sent another strangling heave through her body as her stomach released the rest of its contents.
Kyra forced herself to keep her eyes closed. Arms shook against her weight as she remained in the position. She didn't want to see the damage she had done or feel the remainders of it on her. Yet, all of these sensations were growing with each second she tried to ignore them. Her abdomen cramped again as another slimy bit of flesh rolled along the length of her arm. Her head shook weakly at her throat muscles tightening. All she wanted was to see his face again, to remember why she had sprinted away from that bus against her better judgment. She wanted to understand why she was shaking with her head bowed to the ground six months after everything fell. For the first time she felt a surging need to know why. Rick's voice echoed in her head with the one word question. His tired, pained, and worn, but remarkably handsome face peered at her through pale blue eyes. Her face scrunched into another torn expression at the image her mind was able to recover.
Her head jerked in a semi-shake. She didn't want to remember them or him. Rick was never her problem; he was never even a voice in her mind. Her eyes opened in a narrowed glare. The slamming reality of what her battered mind landed on didn't make sense, but then again nothing was anymore. Surviving in this aftermath was quickly coming down to her sticking to one rule. If she could keep moving then maybe she could stay alive. She sucked in another deep breath before clumsily shifting to rest on her knees. Her attention came back to the walker as she forced every incoherent thought out of her mind and away from Rick. It was easier for her to focus on a kill than to find reason.
Walkers didn't seem so deadly to her coming from this standpoint. Never once had she gotten the chance to actually see what the dead looked like dead. She took another deep breath as she reached a tentative hand out to the arrow embedded deep within its decayed skull. Her fingers wrapped around the untainted end of the arrow and she tugged at it. The action made the skull bob with a low crack. A dented, caved in face met her gaze with the pull. Her weak attempt to free the arrow came to a stop as she stared at the withered walker. Webs of cracked gray skin branched out around the bits of flesh still intact. Its glossed over, contracted, teal eyes stood out against the black clotted sore and tanned flesh of its skull. The mess of brittle, wiry, hair that had been blocking her vision minutes ago was caked in the flecks of brain and black blood from the protruding arrow.
Her focus shifted to her grimy hand as she tugged at the arrow with more force. The slithers and flecks of flesh still clung to the smudges of blood holding to her skin. Her heart rate climbed again, but quickly fell at the sight. She shook her head weakly to push aside the lingering thoughts of easy contamination. The days of being careful and sanitary were long gone. The days of understanding and logically solving this were over. She released the arrow and clumsily pushed herself back to her feet.
The clear image of Rick pointing at the map and reiterating his directions flashed into the forefront of her mind as she took an off-balanced step towards the walker. Her hand found the arrow again, while her boot came to rest against the side of its head. She jerked the arrow from the walker. Black fluid flung out along with the arrow as the head landed against the ground with another sick crack. She mindlessly shook off any remaining walker before wiping the end of the arrow over her jeans.
There wasn't any real motivation in her actions, but she had found truth among all her jumbled and vying thoughts. She needed to pick up her arrows, herself, and keep moving. If the group of survivors past had taught her anything it was to move. In a daze she turned her attention on the other walker and proceeded to pull the arrow from it. Two new lines were crossed over the first as she wiped the remaining blood on her jeans. She couldn't seem to get a firm grasp on her surroundings, yet found comfort in the odd disconnect. In that moment she felt pulled between what was real and what she desperately wanted to be real. Her mind reached for Sean one last time as she bent to find the arrows tossed along the needled ground.
Kyra wanted to cling onto his memory, but still couldn't find him. She could hardly find the pushed aside memories of a group she had left. The things that had created the wall that held her back from being completely insane were fading out. In an off manner she roughly tucked the arrows into her back pocket and returned to the walker that almost took her life. With one unsteady motion she raised her foot over its sunken head. She tilted her head with an expressionless face. Everything within her screamed for a form of sensation and that propelled her to slam the heel of her boot into the skull.
The sickening crunches, cracks, and oozing sound of brain escaping the skull sent another flaring cramp through her abdomen. She shook her head against the urge to vomit, while keeping her eyes trained on the sight. This had to be that absolute worse it could get. She pressed her boot farther into the collage of matter underneath it. A new spring of blood seeped out from the source as another, weaker, cramp gripped at her stomach. She forced herself to stare at the disgusting mess beneath her until the cramp began to fade. There was a strange sense of building power she felt she gained from facing her enemy and dissecting it as she was.
The dazed and dulled shifting states of her mind was attuned enough to lead her away from her kills and back through the woods. She still couldn't find the clarity to focus on her surroundings. Trunks, logs, and tangled branches caused her to stumble in an unsure direction back towards what she thought was the road.
Boots meeting pavement gave her a slight spike of joy. Her head tilted up to the sky and an unsteady hand rose to block the bright light beaming down at her. There was no concept of time for her, but the brightness seemed to give enough cues to it being broad day. Slowly, she turned and glanced in each direction. The road wore on, yet nothing seemed to give her any sense of direction. She felt neither disappointed nor defeated by this as she took a stepped along the road facing the sun.
Moving was her sole objective. She wasn't concerned with where she wound up or what she might find along the way. It didn't faze her that her current path might be leading her away from Rick's group, despite the fact that he was the only stable image and memory within her mind. So long as she kept moving she was bound to find something. In her current state direction wasn't a concern. It was taking everything within her to just stay moving as her thoughts continued to struggle with whatever loose grip on reality she had.
She fought to concentrate on the sounds around her. A part of her still battled against releasing the fear and panic she seemed to dive into every time she came within range of a walker. Yet, after her earlier encounter it didn't seem as strong or relevant. If she had to kill another she would do it, regardless of her feelings.
Kyra's leg felt like lead as the sun continued to rise above her. Her path remained entirely aimless going in the direction she'd chosen. A rustle of leaves and branches veering off to the right seemed to nag at the back her mind, but didn't grab her full attention. Instead she continued moving forward without giving a single glance in the direction of the sound. If it was a walker and got too close she'd figure out a way to kill it. At least that was her momentary numb thought about it. Her focus continued to drift from slipping memory to slipping memory as she wandered off the road and into the shade of the woods lining it. Not once did her steps stop. It was her only painful reminder that she was walking this earth, even though she felt detached from it. She was still breathing and living.
Her focus was jarred back into reality the moment her knees hit the ground. She blinked forcefully at the dried grass before her. The details of it were lost in the darkness that had slowly fallen around her. Her hands pushed against the ground in a clumsy attempt to get her back on her feet. Dark blue stretched out above her, while she stumbled to get her balance back. Her gaze shifted back to the ground and root that had tripped her. She stood frozen to the spot as she once again tried to grasp onto the world around her.
A loud pop echoed along the barren road, which jolted Kyra back to her current position. The slightest sign of alertness sprang back into her features as she glanced around trying to locate the source of the sound. Another pop rang out closer to her position, or so it seemed. Without much thought her hand reached around to her back pocket. Blindly, she grabbed an arrow before dropping her tensed arm back to her side. She spun herself around in a haphazard 360, while trying to see or hear what caused the noise.
Kyra's footing felt entirely off balance and vision blurred when she came to a stop. There wasn't a single thing around her. In fact it seemed almost too quiet. Her stomach plummeted into the depths of her abdomen at that thought. One fleeting thought ripped at what little stability she had left. She couldn't help but feel that she was imagining sounds. At that she wasn't even sure if what she was, or wasn't, seeing was real. Her heart rate soared as she turned another 360. Frantic eyes darted around her spinning surroundings unable to focus on anything. She came to another stop and felt an entirely new chill creep over her body. In that moment she wondered if she was dead. That this endless walking and vacant highway was the special section hell she'd be designated to wander.
Her ass hitting the ground sent a flaring pain up her spine, which successfully extinguished her surreal train of thoughts. A delayed wince pulled across her face as she failed to get a sturdy enough hold on the ground to push herself back up. She shook her head and blinked her eyes fighting to get an actual visual of her surroundings.
Another blaring pop sounded around her sending her gaze in a useless circle again. With a quick, yet clumsy, motion she managed to stumble back to her feet. Her focus finally narrowed in on her surroundings the sound of shuffling, dragging, and crackling soon taking precedence over the undisclosed popping sound. Her right hand flexed instinctively at the sound, yet nothing was held within its grasp.
Wild eyes flew across the road and lining tress as she retrieved another arrow. Her gaze slipped to it for a split second allowing her enough time to notice the shortened length of her improvised weapon. There wasn't any time for her to linger on the lessened utility of it. Her steps were still horribly uncalculated with every one that brought her closer to the woods.
She vaguely recalled a louder pop before the strength of her victory was diminished at the sight of a new threat. Her muscles tensed at the outline of a walker approaching. Its body effectively blocked her entrance into the woods. She tossed a few glances to her alternatives. Her face fell into a hard line when no other path came into view. She bit back the fear rising within her as she took a weak step forward. The darkness made pinning the walker harder. Each step it took brought it closer to her, but offered very little in a visual.
Kyra sucked in a deep breath and let it go before taking another forcefully weak step forward and raised the cut off arrow. Her eyes narrowed in on the mangled, matted, clumped hair that caught in the moonlight. She gave it no more thought or observation as she launched herself forward and buried the arrow in its skull. A newfound stomach cramp sprang to life within her at the contact, but she didn't give it attention. The thunk of a body hitting the ground pulled her away from blocking the urge. Mindlessly, she pulled the arrow from the skull and continued forward. Her head shook tightly in protest of glancing back. She had to keep her attention forward. If she could gain enough courage to stomp on a head she could manage the walkers at night. At least that was her inspirational outlook.
The pops continued to sound around her as she crept farther into the woods. It was hard for her to gauge if she was getting closer to the source of the sounds or farther. She tried to remain as quiet as she could with every step she took farther into the woods. Her head gave a haphazard glance behind her at a snap echoing in the distance. No matter how hard she tried to focus nothing came into view in the growing darkness around her. She felt like she had made some grave error in taking this thoughtless path a little too late. At this point every which way she looked seemed to be the same.
The pops continued to fire off around her. It didn't seem to take long for her thoughts to start slipping all over again as they began to fade on top of each other. She violently shook her head against them as another snap was heard even closer to her. Her head shifted towards the sound. Once again she couldn't distinguish any threat amongst the woods, yet her eyes did catch on a slight flicker in the distance.
She found herself being pulled towards the flicker by her own curiosity. The returning feeling of fear came across in the shallow breaths she took with each step forward. Her gaze narrowed in on the growing flame. She knew better than to approach this, yet she couldn't bring herself to stop. Her fixation on the flames was short lived by a disrupting gurgle moving in on her right.
"We're drawling 'em in. Baitin' 'em, dipshit." A deep voice from a distance vaguely caught her attention as she twisted to find the walker. "So don't shoot 'em." She tossed a glance back to the visible fire. Again, she couldn't find the source of the gurgle much less the voices. The urge to hide seized control over her will to fight as she stumbled towards a dense patch of grown in trees and slammed her back against one.
"It got too close. I'm not here to die as bait." Another voice joined, much lower than the first. The blast of a gun firing shot out around the forest. This was enough for her to stupidly realize that the pops had been gun fire. Her breaths were coming in heavy as she worked up the courage to shift away from the tree in attempts to get a better view.
"Shut up," A deep southern voice joined in the mix. "Now you'll do what we tell ya to do. There's no arguin' out here. We get the walkers and head back. Am I clear?" The pop of a gun firing another round was the cue for Kyra to look. Her hand held tightly to the tree as she stretched herself around it.
She felt her heart drop at the sound of walker to her rear. In her attempt to get a better view of the people just ahead she had neglected to stay on alert for the walkers they were clearly attracting. She didn't have time to waste of figuring out why anyone in their right mind would contain walkers as she reached her free hand down to her few remaining arrows. Her grasp tightened around one just as the feel of a cool breath and wheeze touched her shoulder. She was far too scared to actually look back at the bite she knew was coming.
A faint swoosh and sound of a body hitting the ground was the next thing she noticed, but her attention was soon captured by the feel of a hand clasping down on her arm. The grip tightened giving her a rough tug.
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Flame suit's still in the shop folks. Death by fire doesn't seem all the appealing.