Beautiful
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro.
Can't get this song out of my head…and if you heard it I'm sure you wouldn't be able to
either!
"Beautiful
You're beautiful
As beautiful as the sun…"
Pirro's tear-streaked face slowly turned to gaze up at him. It was obvious by her
expression she was wondering if she'd heard him right. Emotions were washing
through her eyes; shock, wonder, disbelief, confusion, and even a bit of fear. Yet she
didn't back away. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet Cye's, though she couldn't
see clearly through the blur of tears that were building up and just waiting to spill over.
Cye didn't dare do anything but smile warmly with his eyes to show that he meant it.
His heart was beating at twice its normal rate as he looked down at her. He wanted to
say more, but was afraid that she'd reject him. Still, he wanted her to know how he felt.
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to show her.
"Wonderful
You're wonderful
As wonderful as they come…"
Pirro suddenly rushed foreword and wrapped her arms tightly around him again. The
new wave of tears spilled over as she buried her face in the side of his neck. Finally she
trusted her voice enough to whisper, "I love you Cye. I've loved you for years. I've
loved you since I first heard you talk in your cute little accent. I've loved you since I first
heard you confess your heart in your sleep. I love you!" She told him as she pressed
herself into him.
"And I can't help but feel attached
To the feelings I can't even match…"
Cye was balled over in emotion. He felt as if the dam had been broken and all the water
was spilling out everywhere, leaving him helpless to do anything but float along the
currents and let them take him where they willed.
"Pirro…" His voice was barely more than a whisper.
"With my face pressed up to the glass
Wanting you…"
"Pirro…" She heard him whisper. She had never heard anyone call her beautiful since
the accident…well; her mother and father didn't count. She couldn't help but go a bit
crazy at the thought. He had told her she was beautiful. He was holding her. He
wasn't letting go. Goddess! He wasn't letting go! Her tears swept down her face, but
she did nothing to stop them.
"Beautiful
You're beautiful
As beautiful as the sky…"
Cye leaned his head gently against hers. "I love you too Pirro." He breathed, though he
was speaking as loud as he could. He paused for a moment, then found his voice again
and said in a slightly louder voice, "I love you too."
He heard her sharp intake of breath at his words, and smiled when he felt her nuzzling
against him. She was such a strong woman that he'd always thought of her as being a
bigger person, but when he held her like this he found she had a small build. For
several long moments Cye held Pirro as she collected herself. He loved the feel of her in
his arms. Finally, she was in his arms.
"Wonderful
It's wonderful
To know that you're just like I…"
"Pirro, you're shivering…" Cye said softly, as he tried to comfort her.
Pirro nodded. "I love you, I'm just…just…" She whispered. Cye smoothed the back of
her shirt over with his hand. Pirro gave up on finding the words and collapsed against
him. She was all cried out at the moment. Cye was making soothing noises in the back
of his throat as he calmed her with his presence. He didn't dare say anything though; he
didn't want to spoil anything.
Finally, he felt her shifting her weight. She pulled back away from him slightly, leaving
his entire front feeling cold with her absence. In the dim light of the room he caught the
glimmer of her eyes as they searched his out. She was gazing at him, and it sent shivers
through his body. He wanted to tell her in a thousand words how he felt about her. He
wanted to tell her that she was the most precious person to have walked into his life,
and he valued her more than he did himself. He wanted to tell her that he felt his soul
would explode without her, but he couldn't get his voice to work properly. All he could
do was caress the side of her face gingerly; as if he were afraid she might break as he
wiped away her tears.
"And I'm sure you know me well
As I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who'll you love and who you won't…"
In the look Pirro had given him Cye knew that she was aching inside just like he was.
Yet now was his time to be silent. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her
against him gently. She curled up against him, resting her head against his chest.
"Pirro, I've noticed that you normally let me talk about everything, and I don't talk
much normally." He confessed. "I want to listen now, tell me about your life. Tell me
everything." He told her softly.
Pirro gazed up at him. Yes, normally she did have him do most of the talking, mainly
because living on a computer she never really had much to say that could add to the
topic at hand. She loved to hear him talk and unburden his mind, and was in love with
his voice. She couldn't think of what he wanted her to say until he again swept his hand
over the side of her face, brushing away a lock of hair that had plastered itself to her wet
cheek and said, "Tell me what they did to hurt you Pirro. Let it all out. I'll hold you, I
won't leave you." He vowed.
"I love you
As you love me…"
Pirro curled closer to Cye the way people seem to do, even when they think they're as
close as they possibly can be. Her eyes unfocused as she began to recount her tale, she
was lost in the past and had only Cye to hang on to as an anchor in the storm of
memories.
"I was in so much pain the first few days after the fire. Then it just didn't hurt any more.
I mean, it hurt all the time, but I guess I got used to the thought of being in constant
pain. It didn't make it any better, if at all it was made worse. It made me believe that
the physical pain would never stop. Eventually it did, but that didn't mean all my pain
stopped.
"My family came to visit me often. My mom and dad did, my mom practically lived in
the hospital to stay with me, and my dad came in the evening when he wasn't at work.
He still spoke to me, but I could tell I'd disappointed him. I think I disappointed him
when I was born that I wasn't a boy, and now that I was ugly I wouldn't be able to find a
good husband. I know it's old fashioned, but that's how he was.
"My mom seemed to want to believe that as soon as all my bandages were off I'd still
look the same as I did before the accident. They were both so worried at how I'd look
that they forgot I'd just lost my best friend. Sasha's mom had made it out of the fire, but
her younger brother had died, and her father had been out on a business trip at the time.
He had returned back early and visited me once, but I could tell by the look in his eyes
he blamed me for Sasha's death as much as I blamed myself.
"Still, I didn't say anything to my parents, they were too worried about everything else.
I guess they were in as much a state of shock as I was to really stop and think about the
whole situation. I believed that when I got back to school everything would be fine. I
was just as delusional.
"It took a long time. Months just to get me moving and walking again. It was close to a
year and a half before I was attending school on a regular basis, and I had a tutor to help
me catch up, along with physical therapy, and other such doctor visits." Pirro trailed off
for a moment to look up into Cye's eyes. He was looking at her with compassion and
love. He just held her, and waited for her to go on.
"My first day back at school was…hell. I walked into the classroom, I was proud that I
had done it and would be returning to my studies again. I thought my old friends
would be proud of me to that I'd managed to make it back to school again…" Tears
began to well up in Pirro's eyes again. "They all blamed me for killing Sasha. The
rumor had gotten around school that I'd pushed her into the fire to save myself, and
none of the kids would look at me. During lunch I sat alone. Outside or after school,
whenever I passed the kids they'd refuse to turn their eyes my way. That, or they'd call
me ugly, burn girl, fire baby, and names I refuse to repeat.
"I couldn't escape it. Everywhere I went, every face I'd found friendly before the fire
had twisted into spiteful masks. Finally my parents agreed that a private home tutor
would be better than having me coming home in tears everyday and refusing to go to
school every morning. Every time I left my house people would glair at me, shout
insults from the other side of the street, or worse, shout insults while pushing me on the
ground. It was hard for me, I'd had muscle damage and it took me so much longer to
stand back up then it took most people. I'm better at it now, but I'm still slower than
you Cye.
"When I finally graduated things were better, my parents agreed that I could have a
year off schooling to try my hand at writing. They said if I could finish my book, or at
least have a good start on it then they'd let me try to publish it before going to college."
Pirro stopped talking then. She tightened her hold on Cye and closed her eyes as she
pressed her face against his now tear-stained shirt.
"So let the clouds roll by your face
We'll let the world spin on to another place…"
"What happened next?" Cye whispered after Pirro had been silent for several minutes.
"Cye, ever wonder why I never spoke of my parents before?" She asked him softly.
"The thought had crossed my mind, but I never asked for politeness sake." He
confessed in a tender voice, knowing that this was a hard thing for Pirro to talk about.
"I never went to college. I came strait to this apartment, after I sold my parent's house,
car, and most of their worldly possessions. I was left with plenty of money after I sold
everything, especially since I had just published my first book, and had the insurance
money." Pirro barely whispered. Though her voice had been clear when she started
talking, her throat was obviously choked up with tears by the time she paused for a
breath.
Cye was silent, knowing exactly what she was about to tell him.
"They were on the way to pick me up from my physical therapy when the car hit ice and
went flying off a bridge and into the river." Pirro's voice cracked then and sobs began to
wrack her body.
"We'll climb the tallest tree above it all
To look down on you and me and them…"
"It's alright." Cye told her as he did his best to comfort her. "It's alright to cry over the
death of your parents." Pirro was sobbing uncontrollably against him. A distant part of
her mind felt bad for ruining his shirt, but the rest of her just gave in to the tears and to
Cye.
"And I'm sure you know me well
As I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who you'll love and who you wont…"
When it finally seemed that she would dehydrate if she shed another tear, Pirro lay still
against him again. Cye could tell by her breathing that she'd calmed down after what
could have been fifteen minutes of sobbing and pouring her heart out. He could also tell
that she was still very much awake.
Pirro had buried her face in his muscular chest, and Cye was wondering not just how
she was doing, but also how she could possibly be breathing. After a long period of
silence Pirro stirred again. She pulled reluctantly away from him, a deep blush was
apparent on her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" She said as she furiously swiped at the last tears
still hanging on her eyelashes.
"What for?" Cye asked her as he handed her a tissue.
"For sobbing all over the front of your shirt…" Pirro said ashamed of her actions. She
hated crying in front of people. She would have rather taken the insults of her
childhood all over again instead of cry in front of someone, especially Cye. And what
had she just done? She discarded the used tissue and was about to turn away with
another apology when Cye caught her wrists.
"Don't let your life wrap up around you…"
Cye pulled her back towards him. "Pirro, don't be sorry. I think you needed that…" He
whispered. She came willingly enough and never took her eyes from his. "Pirro, it's
alright. I can get a new shirt, I can't replace you."
"Don't forget to call, whenever…"
Somehow this strange guy didn't care that she was ugly, didn't care that she had just
gunked up the front of his shirt with her crying, or that she was in no way worth his
time. Somehow he was here, asking with his eyes if it was okay for him to comfort her,
if it was fair of him to ask her to not leave.
"I'll be here
Just waiting for you…"
Somehow this strange girl didn't see that she was an angel, didn't see that he could
never be good enough to her, or that he was just another man. Somehow she was here,
asking with her eyes to not let go of her, if it was okay for her to trust him forever.
"I'll be under your stars forever…"
Cye guided her into his arms, only instead of just holding her, he bent his head down
and kissed her. He felt her melt into him as her arms wrapped around his neck. For the
shortest of eternities they were entwined, the desire holding the moment still.
"Neither here nor there
Just right beside you…"
The pair ended the kiss and for a moment sat there with their eyes closed, their faces
only millimeters from each other. "I love you Pirro…" Cye breathed against her lips. "I
always will. You are the most precious person in my life, and I don't want to live
without you." He confessed, his eyes still closed.
Pirro hadn't moved either. "You, Cye, are the most wonderful man I've ever known. I
adore you, I love you. I'm not afraid of the sun when I'm with you…" She whispered.
Oh, his kiss was so sweet, so tender, so much like everything she'd ever wished she
could have. This was what she'd envied every other woman on the planet for having.
"I'll be under the stars forever…"
Cye placed a delicate hand on the back of Pirro's neck and guided her foreword again
for another kiss. A soft tender kiss that spoke a thousand words. When this kiss too
was broken, Cye kissed Pirro's temple as he pulled her against him. By now it was late
at night, and he knew she was tired from the emotional time she'd just been through.
"Cye…" She whispered, or perhaps she was simply sighing, he didn't know. He lay her
down on the floor, then reached out and pulled the plug on the electric candles,
plunging the room into darkness. He lay down beside her and wrapped his arms
around her, holding her safe. "I love you…" He heard her whisper in her sleep.
He kissed her one last time before burring his face in her soft hair. "I love you too…" He
whispered against her hair as he dozed off as well, only to repeat the declaration over
and over again in his dreams throughout the night.
"Neither her nor there
Just right beside you"
Angelica Diablo
Disclaimer: Don't own Ronins. The Smashing Pumpkins wrote the song. Do own Pirro.
Can't get this song out of my head…and if you heard it I'm sure you wouldn't be able to
either!
"Beautiful
You're beautiful
As beautiful as the sun…"
Pirro's tear-streaked face slowly turned to gaze up at him. It was obvious by her
expression she was wondering if she'd heard him right. Emotions were washing
through her eyes; shock, wonder, disbelief, confusion, and even a bit of fear. Yet she
didn't back away. She slowly brought her eyes up to meet Cye's, though she couldn't
see clearly through the blur of tears that were building up and just waiting to spill over.
Cye didn't dare do anything but smile warmly with his eyes to show that he meant it.
His heart was beating at twice its normal rate as he looked down at her. He wanted to
say more, but was afraid that she'd reject him. Still, he wanted her to know how he felt.
He wanted to tell her. He wanted to show her.
"Wonderful
You're wonderful
As wonderful as they come…"
Pirro suddenly rushed foreword and wrapped her arms tightly around him again. The
new wave of tears spilled over as she buried her face in the side of his neck. Finally she
trusted her voice enough to whisper, "I love you Cye. I've loved you for years. I've
loved you since I first heard you talk in your cute little accent. I've loved you since I first
heard you confess your heart in your sleep. I love you!" She told him as she pressed
herself into him.
"And I can't help but feel attached
To the feelings I can't even match…"
Cye was balled over in emotion. He felt as if the dam had been broken and all the water
was spilling out everywhere, leaving him helpless to do anything but float along the
currents and let them take him where they willed.
"Pirro…" His voice was barely more than a whisper.
"With my face pressed up to the glass
Wanting you…"
"Pirro…" She heard him whisper. She had never heard anyone call her beautiful since
the accident…well; her mother and father didn't count. She couldn't help but go a bit
crazy at the thought. He had told her she was beautiful. He was holding her. He
wasn't letting go. Goddess! He wasn't letting go! Her tears swept down her face, but
she did nothing to stop them.
"Beautiful
You're beautiful
As beautiful as the sky…"
Cye leaned his head gently against hers. "I love you too Pirro." He breathed, though he
was speaking as loud as he could. He paused for a moment, then found his voice again
and said in a slightly louder voice, "I love you too."
He heard her sharp intake of breath at his words, and smiled when he felt her nuzzling
against him. She was such a strong woman that he'd always thought of her as being a
bigger person, but when he held her like this he found she had a small build. For
several long moments Cye held Pirro as she collected herself. He loved the feel of her in
his arms. Finally, she was in his arms.
"Wonderful
It's wonderful
To know that you're just like I…"
"Pirro, you're shivering…" Cye said softly, as he tried to comfort her.
Pirro nodded. "I love you, I'm just…just…" She whispered. Cye smoothed the back of
her shirt over with his hand. Pirro gave up on finding the words and collapsed against
him. She was all cried out at the moment. Cye was making soothing noises in the back
of his throat as he calmed her with his presence. He didn't dare say anything though; he
didn't want to spoil anything.
Finally, he felt her shifting her weight. She pulled back away from him slightly, leaving
his entire front feeling cold with her absence. In the dim light of the room he caught the
glimmer of her eyes as they searched his out. She was gazing at him, and it sent shivers
through his body. He wanted to tell her in a thousand words how he felt about her. He
wanted to tell her that she was the most precious person to have walked into his life,
and he valued her more than he did himself. He wanted to tell her that he felt his soul
would explode without her, but he couldn't get his voice to work properly. All he could
do was caress the side of her face gingerly; as if he were afraid she might break as he
wiped away her tears.
"And I'm sure you know me well
As I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who'll you love and who you won't…"
In the look Pirro had given him Cye knew that she was aching inside just like he was.
Yet now was his time to be silent. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her
against him gently. She curled up against him, resting her head against his chest.
"Pirro, I've noticed that you normally let me talk about everything, and I don't talk
much normally." He confessed. "I want to listen now, tell me about your life. Tell me
everything." He told her softly.
Pirro gazed up at him. Yes, normally she did have him do most of the talking, mainly
because living on a computer she never really had much to say that could add to the
topic at hand. She loved to hear him talk and unburden his mind, and was in love with
his voice. She couldn't think of what he wanted her to say until he again swept his hand
over the side of her face, brushing away a lock of hair that had plastered itself to her wet
cheek and said, "Tell me what they did to hurt you Pirro. Let it all out. I'll hold you, I
won't leave you." He vowed.
"I love you
As you love me…"
Pirro curled closer to Cye the way people seem to do, even when they think they're as
close as they possibly can be. Her eyes unfocused as she began to recount her tale, she
was lost in the past and had only Cye to hang on to as an anchor in the storm of
memories.
"I was in so much pain the first few days after the fire. Then it just didn't hurt any more.
I mean, it hurt all the time, but I guess I got used to the thought of being in constant
pain. It didn't make it any better, if at all it was made worse. It made me believe that
the physical pain would never stop. Eventually it did, but that didn't mean all my pain
stopped.
"My family came to visit me often. My mom and dad did, my mom practically lived in
the hospital to stay with me, and my dad came in the evening when he wasn't at work.
He still spoke to me, but I could tell I'd disappointed him. I think I disappointed him
when I was born that I wasn't a boy, and now that I was ugly I wouldn't be able to find a
good husband. I know it's old fashioned, but that's how he was.
"My mom seemed to want to believe that as soon as all my bandages were off I'd still
look the same as I did before the accident. They were both so worried at how I'd look
that they forgot I'd just lost my best friend. Sasha's mom had made it out of the fire, but
her younger brother had died, and her father had been out on a business trip at the time.
He had returned back early and visited me once, but I could tell by the look in his eyes
he blamed me for Sasha's death as much as I blamed myself.
"Still, I didn't say anything to my parents, they were too worried about everything else.
I guess they were in as much a state of shock as I was to really stop and think about the
whole situation. I believed that when I got back to school everything would be fine. I
was just as delusional.
"It took a long time. Months just to get me moving and walking again. It was close to a
year and a half before I was attending school on a regular basis, and I had a tutor to help
me catch up, along with physical therapy, and other such doctor visits." Pirro trailed off
for a moment to look up into Cye's eyes. He was looking at her with compassion and
love. He just held her, and waited for her to go on.
"My first day back at school was…hell. I walked into the classroom, I was proud that I
had done it and would be returning to my studies again. I thought my old friends
would be proud of me to that I'd managed to make it back to school again…" Tears
began to well up in Pirro's eyes again. "They all blamed me for killing Sasha. The
rumor had gotten around school that I'd pushed her into the fire to save myself, and
none of the kids would look at me. During lunch I sat alone. Outside or after school,
whenever I passed the kids they'd refuse to turn their eyes my way. That, or they'd call
me ugly, burn girl, fire baby, and names I refuse to repeat.
"I couldn't escape it. Everywhere I went, every face I'd found friendly before the fire
had twisted into spiteful masks. Finally my parents agreed that a private home tutor
would be better than having me coming home in tears everyday and refusing to go to
school every morning. Every time I left my house people would glair at me, shout
insults from the other side of the street, or worse, shout insults while pushing me on the
ground. It was hard for me, I'd had muscle damage and it took me so much longer to
stand back up then it took most people. I'm better at it now, but I'm still slower than
you Cye.
"When I finally graduated things were better, my parents agreed that I could have a
year off schooling to try my hand at writing. They said if I could finish my book, or at
least have a good start on it then they'd let me try to publish it before going to college."
Pirro stopped talking then. She tightened her hold on Cye and closed her eyes as she
pressed her face against his now tear-stained shirt.
"So let the clouds roll by your face
We'll let the world spin on to another place…"
"What happened next?" Cye whispered after Pirro had been silent for several minutes.
"Cye, ever wonder why I never spoke of my parents before?" She asked him softly.
"The thought had crossed my mind, but I never asked for politeness sake." He
confessed in a tender voice, knowing that this was a hard thing for Pirro to talk about.
"I never went to college. I came strait to this apartment, after I sold my parent's house,
car, and most of their worldly possessions. I was left with plenty of money after I sold
everything, especially since I had just published my first book, and had the insurance
money." Pirro barely whispered. Though her voice had been clear when she started
talking, her throat was obviously choked up with tears by the time she paused for a
breath.
Cye was silent, knowing exactly what she was about to tell him.
"They were on the way to pick me up from my physical therapy when the car hit ice and
went flying off a bridge and into the river." Pirro's voice cracked then and sobs began to
wrack her body.
"We'll climb the tallest tree above it all
To look down on you and me and them…"
"It's alright." Cye told her as he did his best to comfort her. "It's alright to cry over the
death of your parents." Pirro was sobbing uncontrollably against him. A distant part of
her mind felt bad for ruining his shirt, but the rest of her just gave in to the tears and to
Cye.
"And I'm sure you know me well
As I'm sure you don't
But you just can't tell
Who you'll love and who you wont…"
When it finally seemed that she would dehydrate if she shed another tear, Pirro lay still
against him again. Cye could tell by her breathing that she'd calmed down after what
could have been fifteen minutes of sobbing and pouring her heart out. He could also tell
that she was still very much awake.
Pirro had buried her face in his muscular chest, and Cye was wondering not just how
she was doing, but also how she could possibly be breathing. After a long period of
silence Pirro stirred again. She pulled reluctantly away from him, a deep blush was
apparent on her cheeks. "I'm sorry…" She said as she furiously swiped at the last tears
still hanging on her eyelashes.
"What for?" Cye asked her as he handed her a tissue.
"For sobbing all over the front of your shirt…" Pirro said ashamed of her actions. She
hated crying in front of people. She would have rather taken the insults of her
childhood all over again instead of cry in front of someone, especially Cye. And what
had she just done? She discarded the used tissue and was about to turn away with
another apology when Cye caught her wrists.
"Don't let your life wrap up around you…"
Cye pulled her back towards him. "Pirro, don't be sorry. I think you needed that…" He
whispered. She came willingly enough and never took her eyes from his. "Pirro, it's
alright. I can get a new shirt, I can't replace you."
"Don't forget to call, whenever…"
Somehow this strange guy didn't care that she was ugly, didn't care that she had just
gunked up the front of his shirt with her crying, or that she was in no way worth his
time. Somehow he was here, asking with his eyes if it was okay for him to comfort her,
if it was fair of him to ask her to not leave.
"I'll be here
Just waiting for you…"
Somehow this strange girl didn't see that she was an angel, didn't see that he could
never be good enough to her, or that he was just another man. Somehow she was here,
asking with her eyes to not let go of her, if it was okay for her to trust him forever.
"I'll be under your stars forever…"
Cye guided her into his arms, only instead of just holding her, he bent his head down
and kissed her. He felt her melt into him as her arms wrapped around his neck. For the
shortest of eternities they were entwined, the desire holding the moment still.
"Neither here nor there
Just right beside you…"
The pair ended the kiss and for a moment sat there with their eyes closed, their faces
only millimeters from each other. "I love you Pirro…" Cye breathed against her lips. "I
always will. You are the most precious person in my life, and I don't want to live
without you." He confessed, his eyes still closed.
Pirro hadn't moved either. "You, Cye, are the most wonderful man I've ever known. I
adore you, I love you. I'm not afraid of the sun when I'm with you…" She whispered.
Oh, his kiss was so sweet, so tender, so much like everything she'd ever wished she
could have. This was what she'd envied every other woman on the planet for having.
"I'll be under the stars forever…"
Cye placed a delicate hand on the back of Pirro's neck and guided her foreword again
for another kiss. A soft tender kiss that spoke a thousand words. When this kiss too
was broken, Cye kissed Pirro's temple as he pulled her against him. By now it was late
at night, and he knew she was tired from the emotional time she'd just been through.
"Cye…" She whispered, or perhaps she was simply sighing, he didn't know. He lay her
down on the floor, then reached out and pulled the plug on the electric candles,
plunging the room into darkness. He lay down beside her and wrapped his arms
around her, holding her safe. "I love you…" He heard her whisper in her sleep.
He kissed her one last time before burring his face in her soft hair. "I love you too…" He
whispered against her hair as he dozed off as well, only to repeat the declaration over
and over again in his dreams throughout the night.
"Neither her nor there
Just right beside you"