A/N: More, not all. It's a cliffie. Don't kill me. Happy belated Birthday, Frida and Happy early Birthday to Kimmie (just in case) as well as to any others I may have missed.
10.
Jason was nervous, more nervous than he'd been the night before if possible. The day had dragged along as his anticipation grew, but it was finally almost two o'clock and one of the guards had just informed him Sam was on her way up.
He glanced over at the front door and then his eyes were drawn to the little girl planted not ten feet in front of it. It was an hour past nap time. So much for my plan to keep her on schedule. But after the night they'd had Jason knew it was pointless to expect her to get any sleep without her bear or him lying next to her.
She'd asked if she could stay up until her mommy got there to read her a story and maybe lie with her for a little while. Jason hadn't had the heart to deny her, but that wasn't the only reason she was staked out at his front door. Nope, she wasn't just waiting for her mother; she was waiting for her bear too. Hope was convinced Snowball had to have almost made his way home by now and would show up any minute.
Jason sighed and prayed Sam might have an idea of how to help because he was at a loss. He'd spent the better part of the morning trying to track down Snowball and then he'd switched his efforts to searching for an exact duplicate. He figured he'd find a way to age it up a little and hopefully she'd never know, but the manufacturer didn't produce that particular stuffed toy any longer. It was a limited edition and, out of 938 matches for stuffed polar bears on e-bay, he'd found a total of zero that even remotely resembled Snowball. He'd had half his staff scouring the internet for the better part of the morning, but they came up with nada.
Out of all the predicaments he and Hope experienced since she returned home, this was the first that had left him so thoroughly stumped. Carly suggested bribing her with some new toy, but Jason doubted it would work. Hope was different from most kids in that regard because, while she appreciated new clothes and toys, she wasn't enamored by them like other children he knew.
Bridget had informed him that Rita never allowed Hope many toys, only books, which was probably why she was so fond of reading and already had such a strong grasp of the English language. But it was also likely why she had such a strong attachment to Snowball. He was the one toy she'd been allowed to cherish. According to Bridget, Rita donated all the toys Bridget ever bought for Hope to charity after only a month or so of play claiming she didn't want Hope spoiled. She'd tried several times to give Snowball away too, but Bridget always rescued him and helped Hope keep him hidden on donation days until Rita finally relented.
Maybe it was because Hope had so little to rely on in her life that she loved the constants she did have even more. Jason knew Snowball was at the top of that list and, though he doubted any good would come from delaying the inevitable, he just wasn't ready to take that sense of security from her by forcing her to accept Snowball was lost forever.
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door followed by Hope's squeals of delight as she bolted from the floor. She halted as her hand hovered over the knob then looked back at him, obviously recalling their talk the previous night. Jason took a calming breath and gave a half-smile to his mindful little girl as he made his way over to answer it.
Sam was a nervous wreck by the time she exited the elevator on the penthouse floor. Nothing most could detect from the outside, mind you, but inside she was a bundle of nerves, a conflicting mixture of enthusiasm and trepidation all at once. She was about to introduce Jason to his son, a son he didn't even know existed, and finally bond with her long lost daughter. That was the exciting part, but they would also have to talk about things she'd rather stay in the past. She dreaded rehashing it all, or, was it hashing since they'd never really discussed it in the first place? She wasn't sure, but she was sure it was necessary if they were to clear the air enough to be good co-parents to their children.
Their children... She looked down at Daniel sleeping peacefully in his stroller and smiled; just the sight of him calmed her. She'd dressed him in a navy onesie underneath an adorable navy blue kimono-style top and pant set made of soft cotton jersey with a matching beanie and baby blanket. It was nice, but simple and comfortable and she thought it appropriate for a first meeting with his dad. She sighed contentedly at him then stepped up to her ex-fiance's door and gave a good knock.
"Is it Snowball?" Hope inquired as her dad peered through the peephole.
Jason looked down at her and shook his head. "It's your mom and your baby brother."
He watched as her eager demeanor gave way to something enigmatic. He thought he detected a hint of disappointment, but found himself unable to read her completely and remarked how unnatural it seemed for a three year old to be able to mask their emotions so easily. Once again, he wondered what damage her time with Rita Sullivan may have caused her and whether, or not, it was irreparable. The thought sickened and saddened him at once, but he shook it off as another knock sounded and turned to answer the door as Hope withdrew to the comfort of her original spot near the arm of the sofa.
"Hey, come in." Jason opened the door wide and stepped aside to make way for Sam as she pushed a black pram ahead of her. She was even more beautiful to him than she had been the day before. Her dark brown hair was down today, longer than when she'd left town. It cascaded past her shoulder blades in big loose curls he yearned to run his fingers through the way he once had. She wore little make-up, as none was really needed, but the warm tones only enhanced her natural beauty. She had a glow about her and he could only guess motherhood and marriage suited her well. The mere thought sent pangs of guilt and regret coursing through him. It should have been him, could have been him, if only he hadn't messed it all up, he lamented. Her familiar fragrance assaulted his senses and he couldn't stop the slow perusal of her body as she passed by oblivious to the effect she had on him.
The heel on her gray suede boots wasn't enough to pose any danger walking along the ice and snowy sidewalks of New York, but just enough to elongate her toned legs and position her perfect breasts in a most enticing way. Her charcoal jeans sculpted her curves like a second skin and he suppressed a sigh at the memory of what remained hidden underneath. She finished the look with an over-sized off the shoulder gray and white striped sweater and gray leather jacket for added warmth. It was simple and comfortable and yet she still took his breath away. Seeing her in their home again was a long-awaited wish come true, but he forced another deep breath to keep his emotions at bay. Things were different now.
"Hello, Jason." She responded with a sincere, albeit hesitant, smile then widened it considerably when she spotted their daughter standing by the sofa. Her joy at Hope's unexpected presence kept her from experiencing the full weight of discomfort she'd anticipated upon entering the home she once believed she'd never see again.
"Hey there, sweet pea. I thought you'd be sleeping when we got here. What a nice surprise." She greeted her daughter as she took in her appearance and had to smile again in wonder of the little personality shining through in her choice of attire.
It was a stark contrast to the conservative soft pink and taupe sweater dress, tights, hat and boots she'd first met her in the previous night. Hope wore a sleeveless navy dress with an asymmetrical hemline ending just below the knees. It was covered with polka dots in varying shades of pink, lavender and green and accented with a thin apple green satin ribbon at the waist and neckline. The dress was paired with a three-quarter sleeved hot pink top underneath and navy leggings with thin stripes in the same colors as the polka dots. She also donned a pair of black leather boots with silver buckles and a red and white cowgirl hat identical to the one the little cowgirl doll tucked in her arm wore. "That's a really cool outfit. Did you and your daddy pick that out?"
Jason closed the door behind him and turned to see Hope smile at the compliment as she shook her head. "I picked it all by myself."
Sam smiled. "I love all the colors and I really love your boots. I wish I had a pair like those."
"These are all my favorite colors. That's why daddy let me pick it. He bought these boots for me too. They're black like daddy's e'cept mine have butterflies. See?"
Hope turned her ankle to reveal a better view of the stitched design covering the front and sides.
"How pretty." Sam declared. "Now I really want a pair of my own. I wonder if they make them in my size."
Hope smiled thinking she would like it if her mommy had boots just like her. "Maybe daddy could take us to see and you could get some too."
"That sounds fun. I can't wait to take you shopping." Sam told her and she couldn't. She had lots of Christmases and birthdays to make up for.
"May I take your coat?" Jason offered and Sam turned her attention to him and nodded as she slipped it off and handed it over.
Jason accepted it from her then hung it next to his and Hope's in the coat closet by the stairs. He couldn't help the warm feeling that settled over him as the three coats nestled together.
Sam peeked in the covered pram to find Daniel still sound asleep so she repositioned his stroller behind the arm chair near the desk so he would hopefully stay that way while she spent some quality time with her daughter. She couldn't wait to see Jason with his son in his arms, but thought it best to wait until Hope wasn't in the room before she shared such emotional news with him.
Jason observed his daughter watching Sam carefully as Sam's attention returned to the baby. Hope seemed curious, but reserved and he had to admit that was exactly how he felt about Sam's baby too. He wanted to know everything, but at the same time felt the need to hold back.
Satisfied her son was perfectly happy, Sam was about to take a seat in the arm chair nearest him when she remembered something. Jason walked to the far end of the sofa and took a seat there as both he and Hope watched her with interest. She retrieved a diaper bag from beneath the stroller and set it on the desk as she rifled through it.
"I came across something very interesting today." Sam pulled out a rolled up piece of paper from a side pocket and unfurled it facing them to reveal one of the posters they'd put up that morning. Spinelli had fashioned them after a WANTED poster as seen in old Westerns.
"That's Snowball, my bear." Hope told her. "He got lost yesterday." She said with a frown.
"I know. It says here there's a reward and that it's negotiable. Does that mean the person who finds him can name any price?" Sam inquired.
Jason wondered how she could possibly know that missing bear belonged to Hope. Even if Sam remembered buying it for her as a baby, it didn't mean the bear on the poster was Hope's. The photo on the poster was of Snowball, but Hope had been cropped out and no names or addresses were listed for safety's sake, only a phone number which was to Jason's new cell so Sam couldn't possibly have recognized that either.
"Yes." Jason answered. "But how did you know it was Hope's?"
Sam looked from Hope to Jason and back again. "Because..." She drew out the word as she rooted through the bag again and pulled out a white ball of fluff. "I happen to be the one who found him."
Hope chirped out Snowball's name like a happy little songbird as Sam held the bear out in front of her. She ran toward her mother and engulfed the bear in an asphyxiating embrace. Sam grinned and Jason breathed a huge sigh of relief as they watched their toddler twirl in circles with what just might be her very best friend in the whole wide world.
"Where did you find him?" Jason said and Hope stopped twirling to listen as well.
"Kelly's." Sam answered as her smile lingered on her daughter then looked back at Jason as she explained. "After we said goodnight last night I realized I'd left my phone on the table, so I went back in and as I leaned over for it my foot hit something. I looked to see what it was and found him there. The table hadn't been cleared yet, so I knew it had to be Hope's. I held on to him so I could bring him with me today."
"Snowball spent the night with you?" Hope was surprised and Sam nodded.
"Thank you." She said as she wrapped her little arms around Sam's upper thighs which was as high as she could reach. "You kept him safe." She murmured against her with Jessie the cowgirl in one hand and Snowball in the other as she gripped tight to them and her mom.
Sam lowered herself to take full advantage of the hug causing Hope's little cowgirl hat to slip off her head and settle on her back as they embraced.
"You're so very welcome." She told her as she picked her up and sat in the chair with her.
Hope sat with her legs across Sam's thighs and leaned against her chest as Sam ran her fingers through Hope's dark hair. It was fine as silk and just as soft and Sam couldn't resist pressing a tender kiss to the top of it while inhaling its sweet scent.
Jason looked on oblivious to the soft smile adorning his lips. "Where did you see the poster? Was it at the Metro Court, GH, or the park?"
Sam's gaze left the little girl in her lap to look at Jason and she shook her head. "No, I saw it in Kelly's about an hour ago when I met Maxie there for lunch. Wow, you guys work fast. It sounds like you've already blanketed the town with posters."
She felt Hope nod against her breast as she clutched her bear rubbing his threadbare ear with her little thumb and index finger.
"Hope has a hard time sleeping without him. That's why she isn't napping right now. We kind of had a rough night." Jason explained.
Sam suddenly felt bad for not considering how much distress it might cause Hope to go without her bear. She could tell from its wear that it was well-loved. "I'm so sorry, Hope. I had no idea you needed him to sleep or I would have brought him home to you as soon as I found him. I should have done that anyway."
"It's okay, Sam. You didn't know." Jason defended and again she felt Hope shift against her bosom as Hope looked up at her.
Sam looked down into her sparkling blue eyes. "It's okay, mommy. I'm not sad anymore. You and Snowball came back. That makes me happy."
Sam smiled at her and nuzzled her soft lips against her daughter's forehead as she whispered against it. "It makes me happy too, baby, so very happy to be here with you and your bear again."
Jason flashed to a memory of Sam nearly three years before when she held an infant Hope on her lap as she made that same bear dance for the brand new baby girl they planned to raise as their own. He'd stood behind the chair and watched from over Sam's shoulder as Hope's bright blue eyes followed the bear's every movement and she waved her little arms in excitement as if attempting to grasp it, but too uncoordinated to do so. "Hope, do you know who gave you that bear?"
Hope turned in her mother's lap to see her daddy better. She shook her head no. Nobody ever told her where Snowball came from. He'd just been with her as long as she could remember.
Jason met Sam's eyes with a gentle smile then looked back to his daughter. "Sam." He told her and her eyes widened as she looked back up at Sam.
"You, mommy?" Sam grinned at her and nodded. "It was the first gift I ever gave you." Sam had given it to Bridget as a gift for Hope before Bridget decided she wasn't ready to be a mother and gave her baby girl to Sam.
Hope's eyes lit up hearing that. She'd loved her mama and after she lost her she never thought she would ever have another one as good even though her mama and daddy told her she would, but now her new mommy was finally there and she'd given her Snowball and he was the most favorite thing she ever had. Snowball had always been there for her even when her mama wasn't.
Sam took note of the bear again and asked a question she'd been wondering since last night. "Why are one of Snowball's legs whiter than the other?"
Hope sat Snowball upright on her lap to look at it as she spoke. "Mama said we had to keep a sock on it or else GG would give him away."
Sam looked down at the bear and noticed the leg he must have had the sock on was also the one that said "my first Christmas."
She looked at Jason, perplexed, and made a mental note to find out later just exactly what the hell Rita did to their daughter. Hope and Sam sat there for several more minutes discussing the adventures of Snowball and Jessie and other things Hope liked. Hope seemed perfectly content to stay on her mother's lap forever, but then the baby began to stir and Sam quickly put Hope down as she stood and rushed to Daniel.
Sam missed the look on Hope's face as if she felt literally tossed aside, but Jason caught it and his over-protectiveness flared for a second before he realized Sam wasn't favoring one over the other. She was just excited that the baby was awake so she could introduce Hope to her brother.
Hope leaned against the edge of the coffee table as she watched her mother lift the baby out of his stroller and walk back to the chair to sit. Jason stayed where he was, but he recognized that same look of interest mixed with apprehension on Hope's profile as she watched Sam interact with the baby in her arms.
Sam shifted Daniel so that he was tucked into her right arm and freed her left as she held it out to Hope. "Would you like to meet your baby brother?"
Hope looked to Jason and he nodded reassuringly as his heart thumped in his chest for reasons he didn't want to think of. Hope looked back to Sam and nodded shyly as Sam waved her over and helped her climb back up into her lap.
"Hope, this is your little brother, Daniel John. Danny, this is your big sister, Hope. You two now have each other to look out for and love for the rest of your lives."
Hope looked down at the baby and back up to her mom. She was quiet for a couple of minutes just taking it all in. "He has the same name as uncle Danny."
Sam's eyes shot up to Jason who remained silent as Sam looked back down at her daughter. "You know about your uncle Danny?"
Hope nodded that she did. "Daddy told me. There's pictures in my storybook when you were all in Awahii."
Sam blinked back tears as her penetrating gaze returned to Jason. He'd kept her brother's memory alive in Hope, he'd shared stories of her with Hope too and planned to take their daughter to their special place in Hawaii so that she could feel closer to her until he could find her and bring bring her home to Hope like he'd promised.
She mouthed thank you to him, too overwhelmed to actually voice the words. He simply nodded and took in the scene before him of the woman he loved with two children they never thought she'd have tucked safely in her arms. If he weren't already deeply and irrevocably in love with Sam McCall that sight alone would have him falling hard and headfirst.
A silence stretched between them and Sam finally pulled her gaze from his as Daniel swatted his little fists in the air and Hope continued to observe him. It was Hope that finally broke the silence with the same observation Kristina had made the day before. "If he's your real baby why doesn't he have your eyes and hair like I have my mama's?"
Sam smiled with a secret on her lips she could hardly wait to share. "He gets those from his daddy."
She avoided Jason's eyes not wanting to see the pain there or for him to see the truth just yet and reminded herself she was about to make it up to him very soon.
Jason wasn't sure whether his heart clenched in joy or pain, but it ached nonetheless as he hoped for something he knew he had no business hoping.
"Daddy says I couldn't look more like you and him if I was borned from your love." Sam looked at Jason as he averted his eyes feeling a heat rise up his neck.
He then looked back up at his daughter and Sam saw all the love and pride he felt for their little girl gleaming in his eyes. She couldn't wait to make him a proud father all over again when she placed their son in his arms. She looked back down at their children in her lap and smiled as emotion filled her.
Sam was touched by his words and noticed just how true they were as she took in every single feature of her perfect little girl from head to toe. She knew it was true that Hope inherited her dark hair and blue eyes from her birth mother, Bridget, but it was amazing just how much she resembled what a daughter made from their love might look like. Her eyes were like Jason's and her hair, petite frame and heart-shaped face were just like Sam's. "Your daddy is right and we couldn't love you more if you were born from our love either."
Hope let out a big yawn and Sam began running her fingers through her hair again as she snuggled deeper into her mother's side still watching her baby brother with a curious brow.
"Now that Snowball's home, I think it's time for a nap." Jason said with quiet authority.
"Will you please tuck me in and read me a story?" Hope shifted her head toward Sam.
Sam looked over at Jason. "Would you be okay sitting with Daniel for a few minutes while I'm with Hope?"
"Sure." Jason said, even though he wasn't so sure about it at all. In fact, the very thought of it filled him with unease.
"Why don't you go up and get comfortable and pick out a story while I change Danny and then I'll be right up?" Sam suggested.
Hope nodded then hopped down to do just that. She was so excited to show her mommy her room and storybook that she completely forgot to hug her daddy for sweet dreams before she ran upstairs.
Sam carried Daniel over to the desk and laid out the padded liner, diaper and wipes from his diaper bag to change him. Jason quietly noted how fast she worked. It was over before Danny even had a chance to fuss. She'd done a good job with Hope too by trying to give her some undivided attention and with the way she'd introduced her to her baby brother. "You're a natural, Sam. You're already good with him, Hope too."
Sam finished putting the items back in the bag then laid Daniel back in his pram and covered him with his blanket. He was such a good baby and quiet like his daddy. The only time he ever really cried was when he was hungry. "Thank you, Jason. That means a lot coming from you because I know just how good you are with children."
Jason nodded in silence thinking of the children he'd been blessed to have in his life and also of the ones he'd lost.
If Sam noticed the melancholy that encompassed him in that moment, she didn't acknowledge it. "He should be good for another half hour before he's ready to eat again."
Again, Jason nodded. He was doing a lot of that he noticed, communicating without words, but he was too nervous about the conversation to come and being left alone with Sam's baby to speak.
Sam gave a thoughtful gaze to Jason and then back to Daniel in his stroller and paused as if she might say something more, but didn't. Instead she offered up a considerate smile as she inclined her head toward the stairs before heading up.
xxxxx
Sam walked down the familiar path of the upstairs hall past the regrettably pink room that once belonged to Spinelli toward the room she assumed was Hope's. It was directly across from the master suite and had been the nursery they prepared for Lila and then redecorated for Hope as an infant. A smile found her heart as she thought of how right it felt to have Hope there again. The penthouse was the first real home Hope had ever known, something else Sam had in common with her daughter.
She opened the door, fully prepared to see a little girl's room, but stopped short as she took in the baby blue and white geometric wallpaper and then a dark cherry crib fitted with linens in a contemporary kaleidoscope pattern of strong blue tones accented with white. Her heart and lungs seized as she read the hanging letters above the crib: j a k e.
Had Jason claimed his child with Elizabeth after all? How could she not know if he had? Surely Maxie would have said something before or during their lunch earlier if it was made public knowledge, but maybe it wasn't. She knew all too well how adamant Jason had been about keeping Jake's paternity a secret, though she wasn't sure how they'd managed to keep shared custody a secret in the gossip-ridden town.
Sam hated that once again, even though she now knew the secret, she was still in the dark. She glanced around the room. The crib was empty with only a blanket resting inside. There was a padded navy ottoman with white piping near it that looked as though the top lifted to reveal room for storage. A small basket of baby books sat on top of it. There were also a few colorful wooden trucks and cars in front of the crib on the blue-toned area rug that covered a good portion of the hardwood in the center of the room. A rocking chair sat near the crib as well with a large blue stuffed elephant on it and colorful blocks stacked at the foot. The room was lovely and everything she would have imagined for Jason's son.
She wondered if he had decorated it himself, or had help from Carly or Elizabeth. It was evident at dinner the night before that he'd become much closer to Monica. Maybe she had helped as well or perhaps Emily before she passed. Before she knew, or could adequately explain why, her eyes welled with tears. She would have given anything to have been the one to help him decorate this nursery for Jake had Jason only wanted to share his son with her.
She blinked to suppress the tears and exited the room quickly and quietly. She checked the fourth room, but it was still the exercise room as it had been before she left. That meant Hope must now have Spinelli's old room. The door was slightly ajar and sunlight streamed from it, casting light onto the dark thoughts surrounding her. She stood outside, collecting herself for a moment, not really sure what feeling to expect when she entered. Would she feel cheated once more at seeing Hope's room also decorated with the help of some other woman?
Sam was so tired of the negative feelings Port Charles brought out in her. That was why she'd left, but she couldn't do that now. She couldn't run again. She had to deal with it, all of it, head on. It wasn't just about what was best for her anymore. Hope and Daniel needed their father, despite how angry she still was with him. She believed she'd let that anger go, but now that she was back she knew better. The anger had only been masked by the hurt which had subsided a great deal with the joyful news that she was expecting, but the hurt and anger were still there deep down. She'd felt them yesterday and, she feared, they were as strong as ever.
She took a breath and retrained her focus on what mattered most in that moment, her daughter, then walked into the room with a smile on her face. She wasn't sure what she expected, but looking around the room she realized it was beautiful and exactly what she would have picked. The floors were five and one quarter inch wide rustic cherry with a high glossed dark honey finish, the same as in the hall and nursery she'd just left.
It was a nice change from the nondescript Berber that covered it before. She remembered Jason telling her once when they were decorating the nursery for Lila that there was hardwood beneath the carpet if she preferred, but she'd worried at the time it might make the nursery feel cold. Jason disagreed. He thought it might actually make it feel even more inviting. They'd kept the carpet after all, but she now realized Jason had been right. Both Jake and Hope's room felt extremely warm and welcoming with the hardwood floors.
From the doorway, Sam had an excellent view of Hope who was practically bouncing on her bed in anticipation. She held her bear at her side and a large book in her lap. Sam smiled more sincerely at the sight and crossed the room to sit on her bed with her. It was a painted white cast iron daybed on the long wall to the left of the shorter wall that held the entry and closet doors. The bed was off-centered away from the closet and closer to the large bay window centered on the adjoining wall opposite the door. The wall behind the bed was accented with an ornate print wallpaper from floor to ceiling in hues of cotton candy pink, pale green and white. The remaining three walls were pink, but not the nauseating pink Brenda had chosen years ago. It was now a very soft pink with bright white baseboards and trim.
The bed was covered with a white duvet and pillow sham accented with a hot pink and sage green embroidered rose applique. The sheets were a light pink that matched the color of the painted walls with tiny hot pink and sage green rosebuds all over them. Three accent pillows in alternating pink and white rested against the back, and white mosquito netting flowed from the ceiling down around the sides. It was all very girly without being frilly and, from everything she'd learned of her daughter so far, seemed very Hope-like.
A shag area rug in sky blue was centered a few inches from the bed and a bookshelf the length of the bed and nearly as high was positioned on the wall directly across from it. It was painted cotton candy pink with an allover fern-leaf stencil design in white. The shelves were lined with books in all shapes and sizes as well as a few baskets and several toys from the Toy Story movies. She'd watched them enough times with Kristina to recognize them. There were a few other toys as well, but more generic in nature aside from a few from Walt Disney's animated Alice in Wonderland. She figured those two movies must be favorites.
There was a child-sized rocker made of pine near the closet side of her bed with an old-fashioned teddy bear seated in it nearly as big as the chair itself. It sported a braided straw cowgirl hat with pink accents and she knew it must be Hope's. She noticed a couple of other stuffed animals about the room, but Snowball was the only one rating a spot on the bed. There was a tall pine dollhouse near the bay window and a hot pink stick pony with white yarn for its mane in the corner next to a tiny white bed just big enough for a doll with linens that matched Hope's.
It wasn't until she was seated, however, with a new vantage point of the room that she laid eyes on something that had her forgetting to breathe. There, on the wall directly across from the bed and to the left of the bookshelf, was a hand-painted mural of one of the last scenic views she'd memorized before leaving Port Charles. It was the exact view from the bed as one had from the small footbridge and she couldn't look away.
Hope must have noticed her interest in it. "Daddy says that's a real place and one day you, me and him will go there for a picnic."
Sam blinked rapidly as emotion threatened to fall again then looked over at Hope with a tremulous smile. She couldn't speak as her wordless gaze returned to the large Willow tree with sprawling branches blowing in a breeze on the lush green bank of a gentle babbling brook.
"Is daddy right, mommy? Will we go?"
Sam swallowed hard and looked back to her daughter as she nodded. "As soon as the weather is warm enough."
Hope was happy to hear it, Sam could tell. "So, is this the story you picked out?"
It looked more like a large photo album fashioned to resemble an old book of fairy tales. Sam saw the words Happily Ever After printed on the back in a romantic script and the front cover read Once upon A Time.
Hope nodded. "It's my storybook. The lady in the store showed daddy and me how to make it."
Hope handed the book to Sam then turned to crawl under her covers. She must have taken her boots and hat off before Sam came up because her boots rested just under the foot of her bed and her hat hung by its string on one of the bed posts. Sam laid down next to her and Hope snuggled against her as Sam tried her best to picture Jason Morgan taking instruction from some strange lady on how to scrapbook, but she couldn't. She was convinced it was something you had to see to believe, but he must have done it because when she opened the book there were all sorts of photographs adorned with decorative embellishments.
The first page begun with Once upon A time... there lived a happy family. There were two photographs on that page. She remembered taking the first of Jason as he read a travel guide to baby Hope one night. The other was of Sam rocking Hope to sleep in her nursery. Jason had taken that one. The next page spoke of a Brave Knight with photos of Jason, a fair maiden with pictures of Sam, a handsome Prince with Nikolas, a beautiful Princess featuring Emily, little lads with Michael, Morgan and Spencer and lasses with Molly, Kristina and Hope. She pondered briefly why Jake hadn't been included since he was obviously a part of Jason and Hope's life now. She was tempted to ask Hope about him, but thought better of it. She couldn't be sure what Jason may, or may not, have told her. Danny, Alan, Skye and Monica were Lords and Ladies with Edward and Lila depicted as the valiant King and compassionate Queen.
Hope and Sam took turns sharing stories of each of the photos, but when she turned to the next page Sam had to shake her head. Carly was listed as the Fairy Godmother and Alexis, the Evil Queen. She made note to swap those pictures around later. Sam doubted Jason would ever fill Hope's head with bad things about Alexis, but it made her rest a little easier when Hope confided in her. "Daddy says she isn't really evil. She's just a hippo cuticle."
"Hippo... hypocritical?" Sam guessed and Hope nodded yes with sleepy eyes.
Sam chuckled lightly with another shake of her head then pressed a kiss to her forehead as Hope curled into her. Sam closed the book and set it on the floor then turned on her side as she stroked Hope's hair and watched her baby girl fall asleep in her arms. A supreme contentment settled over her the likes of which she'd only ever felt with three other people in her life. She'd felt that way when Lila was alive and kicking inside of her, when Jason held her in his arms after they'd made love and she felt it whenever she held Daniel in her arms.
Moments later, though it was not her intention to do so, Sam, too, fell asleep in that peaceful embrace.
xxxxx
Jason wasn't sure exactly how long it was, but Sam had been up there a pretty long while. He remained glued to his spot on the sofa for a good twenty minutes fighting his anxiety and curiosity over the little bundle in the stroller. He was tempted to take a peek, but also afraid of what he might see, afraid to find a mini version of Jasper Jacks looking back at him. Jason didn't think he could take that amount of pain on top of everything else and it hit home even harder just how much having a baby with another woman must have hurt Sam. He knew she would never hold it against an innocent child just as he would not, could not. Still, it didn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell to look at that baby and see what another man had been able to give Sam that he hadn't. Not since losing Lila had he identified so completely with her pain.
The baby began crying not quite ten minutes ago. Jason pulled the pram over and pushed and pulled it back and forth to soothe him as he spoke calming words to him. It worked at first, but not for long. He'd been reluctant to do so, but now knew nothing short of picking him up would calm him.
Jason reached down inside with both hands and lifted him from the stroller. He was heavier than expected and that called Carly's words to mind. Sam's baby looked new, but not premature which he would have to be if Jax was the father. Armed with that puzzling fact, Jason's curiosity overtook his anxiety and he allowed himself to study Daniel's little face as he cradled him in his arms.
The first thing he noticed was that he didn't see Jax, not at all. He started with his most captivating feature, his eyes. Their shape was all Sam, but they weren't a soft aqua like Jax'. Daniel's eyes were a more brilliant blue and reminded Jason of his grandmother, Lila. His heart thumped in his chest at what that might mean. The baby had his mother's nose and ears, but he could swear Daniel's chin and cheekbones resembled his own. He'd thought he'd recognized Sam's smile on Daniel when he'd seen him yesterday from a few feet away, but realized now Daniel's crooked little smile was hard to miss nor the incredible likeness it bore to him. Still, he was right about one thing. The way Daniel smiled was just like Sam, because when he smiled it shone clear into his eyes as well. He didn't have much hair, but what he did have of it was blond. It wasn't light blond though, it was a dark, almost dirty, blond and Jason was left to wonder if it might one day darken like his as well.
Jason looked into eyes that so closely matched his own it was like looking into a mirror, but he was afraid to believe it. How could something so good be true? He sat there swaying and holding him and, for a moment, was too lost in a beautiful dream to consider the other reason he'd been fearful of holding a baby boy again.
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Sam awoke with a sudden start familiar to most new mothers. She'd fallen asleep when she hadn't meant to and her first thought flew straight to her baby. She wasn't even sure how long she'd slept, but it couldn't have been too long because she didn't hear Daniel. Her baby was many things, but patient to eat was not one of them. She carefully rose from Hope's bed and tucked the covers back in around her. The room was so bright she wondered if it might wake her, so Sam pulled the plum colored curtains closed which blocked out most of the light.
With a final heartwarming gaze at her sleeping daughter, Sam closed the door behind her as quietly as possible and made her way back downstairs.
xxxxx
He wanted it to be true so much that he must have fooled himself into seeing something that wasn't there. Logic told him Jax had to be the father because Sam hadn't corrected Kristina the day before, and she would never pass his child off as some other man's. It didn't seem to matter though because whether he was his father or not Jason had already fallen in love with him. It happened just that quick as he gazed down at him and realized he held a piece of Sam in his arms. In his arms was the most precious piece of the woman he loved because, no doubt, this baby was her heart.
"I look at you and I keep seeing traces of me, but I think it's just wishful thinking because your mom and I always wanted one just like you." It was their dream to conceive and raise a family together in their love. He hadn't given up on that dream, but it was obvious Sam had and he only had himself to blame.
"It isn't." Sam was on the second to last step when she'd heard him.
It wasn't at all how she'd planned to tell him. She'd intended to break it to him more gently, ease him into it, but when she saw him holding their son and wishing aloud that he was Daniel's father she just couldn't deny him another second.
"Sam?" Jason turned to her, not realizing she'd joined them until he heard her, but he still wasn't sure what he'd heard. He was afraid to jump to the conclusions his heart and the look in her eyes led him to believe.
Sam placed a hand over her racing heart as she stared into his eyes and said the words she'd waited so very long to say to him. "It isn't wishful thinking, Jason. He's ours. Daniel is your son."
Page 15 of 15 Created: 2012-05-09 Updated: 2016-05-28 Words: 7496 Characters: 39798