It makes me deliriously happy to see so many of you enjoying this series of shorts, I hope to keep making you all happy and, hopefully, make you laugh a little as well ^ ^. even just a chuckle.
" You bastard" - demon talking / jutsu/ Spell/ Whatever (Techniques).
"Let's finish this" – dialogue.
" Can it get any worse? " - thoughts.
Doing it the Looping Way Chapter 9 -
9 – 1 (MLP, not a brony...but I do like messing with them XD)
As usual Macintosh Awoke behind the counter of his bar, as usual the ones already Awake were sitting on the left side in the "Private" area, and as usual Cadence and Shining Armour (Awake) were giving people diabetes with their nuzzling and lovey-talk.
There was a difference though that caught the Looping Barman off-guard.
"MAAAAAAC Hic! I need alcohol...lots of Hic! It!" an utterly stone-faced Celestia stumbled in the local while tripping on her hooves every two steps, a distillery holding nothing on the smell of alcohol she was already dragging behind her.
"There was not-Hic! Enough cider at your house or wine in mine or Blueblood's cellar!" she said with a whine.
"What the hay! What happened?" the wide-eyed pony asked.
"Loo-Hic!-per! A Looper!" the Sun Princess moaned.
"Which one?" Cadence asked, flinching at the glare she got in answer.
"Orange-Hic! Maelstrom..." the Alicorn said in disdain while dropping on a stool, tearing away a bottle from Mac's hand to poor herself a generous (as to say HUGE) glass of whatever was in there.
"Oh, Naruto? What did he do?" Twilight asked.
"You-Hic! You-hic! You said he wanted to save my sister Luna since she was not-Hic! Awake! It's all your fault!" Celestia answered.
"Well, yes...he said he wanted to try his Talk no Jutsu since it had been ever since before the Loops even started that he had not used that technique, he kind of wanted to see if it could still work," Twilight said.
"It worked..." Celestia said with a venom-coated growl.
"Yes, we all saw that...but where is the problem?" the Anchor asked.
"Hihihi!" a giggle was heard from outside as the aforementioned Moon Princess entered the bar in a small run soon followed by an orange pegasus with yellow mane and with a red swirl as his cutie-mark.
"Come on! Wait!" he said with a smirk as he pounced on Luna, licking her neck until she squeaked for him to have mercy.
"That happened," Celestia said with a gag of revulsion before drowning it with a new glass of some barely-legal drink.
"Are they in a relationship?" Shining Armour asked with a raised eyebrow.
"That is not the-Hic! Problem!" the sloshed Princess said while showing a total lack of balance even while staying sit.
"Then what?" Twilight asked, trying to cut-out the giggling of the Moon Princes as the Guest Looper kept tickling her.
"I walked on them!" Celestia said.
"Eh?" Spike asked.
"THEY WERE CLOPPING IN THE THRONE ROOM! ON MY THRONE! I had to order everything to be burned!" the Princess yelled in rage, making the present spit-out their drink in surprise.
"WHAT?!" the ones there yelled.
"A thousand years by ourselves...it had been unbearable, but luckily you were there when we returned," Luna replied while nuzzling the stallion above her.
"Good thing that I am a Stamina Freak, you would have killed anyone else," Orange Maelstrom replied with a grin.
"Why?!" Twilight asked with a groan.
"Never did that while in a quadruped body...it was fascinating," he replied.
"Want to discover more about the intricacies of mating? We are more than eager to help you, and your clones." Luna whispered hotly, making several stallion present blush.
Celestia instead settled for puking.
"WHY?!" Twilight asked, this time with a despaired howl.
"Don't look at me like that, I spend every Loop with Sakura, it was only a matter of time before she rubbed off on me," Naruto replied.
"You should rub only on us, you cheater!" Luna said while flipping both so she was on top.
"Yes, your majesty!" the other replied smirking, gladly accepting a Royal Kiss from Luna.
"NOT ON MA FLOOR!" Mac yelled in rage, oblivious that while he was berating the two, Celestia was raiding his reserves of alcohol in a despaired attempt at losing consciousness through alcohol-poisoning.
Alternative Version – (Can't decide a "Loop-pairing" for Naruto, please help me choose) -
As usual Macintosh Awoke behind the counter of his bar, as usual the ones Awake were sitting on the left side in the "Private" area, and as usual Spike and Rarity (Awake) were giving people diabetes with their nuzzling and lovey-talk.
The different thing was the stomping directed towards the bar and the exploding of the door in a sea of splinters.
"ALCOHOL! ALL OF IT AND MORE!" Shining Armour bellowed with a despaired expression.
"Shining? What happened?!" Cadence asked in horror while watching her husband using his powers to summon the biggest bottle from behind Mac, pouring a glass, and the smashing it with an hoof and drinking directly from the bottle.
"MORE! The strongest one you have!" the stallion roared.
"How strong do ya want it?" Mac asked, visibly worried.
"We'll start from 'HOLY BUCK, IT DRILLED AN HOLE IN MY STOMACH!' and then work our way upward, now stop talking and start pouring!" Shining said while attacking a new bottle.
"What happened?" Cadence asked again, now panicking.
"That guest Looper, Naruto! It's all his fault!" the stallion answered.
"Orange Maelstrom? What did he do?" Rarity asked, still hiding behind a caravan-sized Spike just in case Shining started throwing magic around in a blind fury.
"He and Twilight were talking about Loops and the various Magic and Techniques they both used and saw...and then...and then...GIVE ME THAT BOTTLE!" Shining started saying before going green in the face and grabbing a new bottle, only to have Cadence tear it off from his hold with her own power.
"Drinking won't help, what did they do?" the Alicorn asked.
"My little Twili...my cute, sweet, innocent, book-loving little sister!" Shining said while breaking into a whining fit.
"Hoy?" Dash said, worried.
"She used to always trot behind me while laughing, wanting her BBBFF to play with her, or to show me her new book...always wanting me to read her a story, to be cool like me or saying that she would have become a guard like me so we could have stayed always together! My beautiful little filly...AND HE RUINED EVERYTHING!" the stallion screeched while collapsing in a crying mess.
"He killed her?!" Cadence asked in horror, making the young dragon in the room grow deadly pale.
"No! It was worse!" he answered while sobbing.
"What could possibly be worse than that?" Spike asked.
In answer the local Anchor (Awake) entered with an orange pegasus near her, their heads so close to appear like a single entity, both laughing and nuzzling each-other before choosing a table.
Her giggles as he playfully nibbled her neck made Shining let out a very disturbing howl of despair.
"THEY WERE CLOPPING! He was mating with her in the library and I walked in as they were starting 'Round Four!'...he deflowered my precious Twili!" Shining Armour said with a roar.
Utter silence fell on the bar, interrupted only by Shining' drinking his despair away, Twilight was instead busy turning from purple to red in a furious blush.
"It was a consensual thing, we are both adults and..." Orange Maelstrom, normally a blond-haired shinobi, tried saying.
"SHUT UP! You are just a corrupter of innocent ponies!" Shining said, glaring at the Guest Looper.
"But, big brother..." Twilight said in embarrassment.
"Don't worry, Twili! Your BBBFF will protect you from that pervert!" the kind-of-sloshed guard said with a sad tone.
"But...but I love him..." she muttered.
In the silence of the bar then clearly resounded the snapping of Shining's brain at hearing those, in his opinion, BLASPHEMOUS words.
"I AM GONNA BUCKING MURDER YOUUU!" the stallion roared in absolute fury, trying to pounce on Orange Maelstrom before Spike, Mac, Applejack, Rarity and Cadence's Magic, Dash, Trixie, Chrysalis and various other changelings dog-piled him to stop the enraged brother.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" in an explosion of brotherly over-protectiveness Shining broke free, only to see the target of his rage kiss Twilight's cheek a last time before he disappeared thanks to her teleportation spell.
"WHY?! Why you did this to me?!" the stallion asked to his sister.
"Big brother..." Twilight muttered sadly, accepting the hug from her distressed, and drunk, brother.
"My cute, little filly. So innocent and pure..." he moaned between hiccups.
"I can't see where is the problem, she is adult, and even more thanks to the Loops...she just wanted to try some mating," Discord said with a shrug while sitting upside-down on a chair on the ceiling.
"Gurgle!" reaching once again the deep-end of his despair, Shining used his powers to pull a barrel next to him, tear-off the top and then shove his head down the alcohol to drink the whole thing and erase the mental images of what he had seen.
"Thank you, Discord...that was exactly what he needed," Cadence said with a groan while trying to coax her husband to stop trying to literally drown himself in alcohol.
"At least I tried," the Chaos entity said before returning to drink from a bottle with a straw, curiously by keeping the straw OUT of the bottle and yet emptying it.
9 – 2 (Zero No Tsukaima) -
Saito knew this would have happened as soon as he saw the two girls in front of him not Awake and on something similar to friendly terms, the other two boys near him (Awake) too were watching the drama unfold in apprehension, the Guest Anchor of the two subtly rising Shielding Spells without attracting the attention of either Witch, now Awake themselves and glaring at each other.
"Valliere..." the bushy haired Looper sitting at the same table of Saito and the other two said in disdain.
"Granger..." Louise replied with equally narrowed eyes and cold tone.
"We are in Tristain this time," Hermione said with crossed arms.
"Still deluding yourself to beat me?" Louise answered.
"I am not deluding myself as I know I will triumph this time as well," the Hogwarts Looper answered.
"We are not in Hogwarts, know-it-all, here I am the one having the upper-hand," the pink-haired mage said with a snarl.
"We'll see, Zero...we'll see," Hermione said while getting up, Harry and Ron wordlessly following her just in case she tried to use some other student for target practice.
"Why running away? Are you afraid?" Louise taunted, making Saito and Harry take in a sharp breath while Ron cursed in a low voice.
"...Afraid? Of you?...Vestry Cort, five minutes!" the bushy-haired witch said, launching a death glare to her rival and hissing her challenge.
"I will be waiting," Louise answered.
"Good, HARRY! RON!"
"SAITO!"
"COME WITH ME!" both roared at the same time.
"How long does your Loops last?" the Weasley boy asked with a whine.
"A couple of years," the human familiar said sighing.
"Where is Eiken when you need it?" Harry moaned in despair while the three went dragged away by their respective fellow Looper.
9 - 3 (Pokemon) -
"Uh? Brock's gym! Back to the very beginning then!" Ash said with a melancholic smile.
"Yep, at least you are Awake now, I managed to not destroy Misty's bike this time, by the way," Pikachu answered with a nod.
"Want to play it Baseline? Because I kind of wanted to show-off a little," the trainer of the two asked.
"May as well, but I will go easy on Brock's friends if they are not Awake, no sense getting brutal," the Electric-type Anchor answered with a shrug.
A little Ping later and the two saw that yes, they were the only ones Awake, the smile they showed at that had the desired effect to put Brock on edge.
"I can see that you are eager to fight, but an Electric-type Pokemon won't have much chances against mine, GO ONYX!" Brock said, unleashing the huge rock-made snake Pokemon from his ball.
"Pikchu? Iron Tail if you don't mind," Ash asked.
"No prob," the Pokemon answered.
"Did your pikachu just talk? And even then, that technique won't-CRASH!" while the mildly surprised Gym Leader was talking, the small tail of the equally small rat-pokemon had hit the nose of Onyx, incredibly launching the huge snake-like creature all the way back and out of the Gym in a blur of speed.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Brock screamed with bulged-out eyes.
"I train my friends really seriously, got another Pokemon or we can call it a day?" Ash asked with a smirk matched by Pikachu.
Both couldn't wait to meet Gary so to show him what they thought about his being a 'Rival' and a general douche to others.
9 - 4 ( Jojo Bizarre adventure – Steel ball run) -
"Ahia!...Ahia!Ahia!Ahia! CAZZO!" (Fuck)Gyro cursed while Johnny kept applying first-aid to his old time friend and Looper.
"What have we learned?" the Anchor of the Steel Ball Run Loops asked with a smirk.
"That if a woman says 'No' then is better to drop the issue...especially if said woman has red hair, but she seemed such a nice Bambina (Baby) that I could not resist..." Gyro answered with a whine, hissing when the disinfectant ran over another bruise.
"You are lucky that Harry was not present to see you flirt with his mother, that would have been worse," Johnny answered with a sigh.
"There is a thing I don't understand though," the Italian Looper said with a groan.
"Yes?"
"How the Hell did she manage to have me keep the bruises of her beating even after the Loop ended?" Gyro asked in disbelief.
"That is indeed surprising..." Johnny said with a nod.
"...Women..." both men said with a sigh after a short pause.
9 – 5
Beauty blinked as she Awoke, looking around she grew and huge, broken smile at seeing that she was not in her normal Loop.
"YES! Normalcy! Oh, how I missed you! I can finally take a pause from Bobobo and Patch and...and pigs dancing can-can, and tunas with wigs playing shogi and nosehair...just plain normalcy!" the girl said in ecstasy.
"I know, right? No Spongebob and his blasted bubbles or Patrick forgetting to wear pants!" the young man near her said with an equally wide smile.
"Are they Guests? Did they know where they have Awakened?" Dallas asked.
"Trust me, compared to theirs, a nice relaxing Loop on the Nostromo will be nothing," Ripley, local Anchor, said with a laugh.
"Ripley! I am so happy to see you! Is this your Home Loop you talked about?" Beauty asked with a wide smile.
"Yes and don't worry, I have gained some experience in dealing with the Alien, we will soon deal with that and then spend the rest of your time here Relaxing," the woman answered.
"Sarge Ward, normally Squidward, Anchor of the Spongebob Loops, nice to meet you," the other Guest said with a grateful tone.
"Two Anchors? That's rare, I wonder who took your place," Ripley said in surprise.
Under a certain ocean -
"I hate this Loop." Ranma said while trying to cut-off Spongebob's laugh from outside.
9 – 6 (Harry Potter) -
"I found you, Potter!" Draco said when finally cornering the Anchor in an empty room, watching as the non-plussed O7 Member was preparing a table while ignoring the blond.
"You usually do not pass from here, you are Looping as well? Welcome then!" Harry said with a smile.
"I won't laugh if I were you, I gained a lot of knowledge to deal with you without waiting for Umbridge to try herself, the Dark Lord won't have to worry about you anymore!" Draco said with a sneer.
"I will worry instead, I still say that he cheats when dealing the cards," a new voice said while entering the room.
"Can it be that you just sucks instead, Tom?" Harry answered smirking.
"Prat," Voldemort said while sticking out his tongue.
"MY LORD! You managed to infiltrate here!" the Malfoy heir said in happiness, before registering the rest of his words.
"Wait...dealing cards?"
"He is Looping and still believes that you are the crazy ass-hole bent on world domination," Harry explained.
"HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, boy! Nah, I am over that stuff, this Looping makes everything pointless, I can conquer Britain twenty times in a row, the Reset will still put everything back to before I started...I would just waste time, and after a while, I came to understand what I was doing wrong," the former Dark Lord said with a shrug while sitting at the table.
"And while you managed to win one time over ten, we always manage to stop you any other time," Albus said while joining at the table with Severus in tow.
"The prat is Looping as well? Wonderful, just what we needed," the Potion Master said with a groan.
"Yeah, but I'll pass the word around, the other Loopers will keep him in check," Harry said with a shrug.
"YOU HALF-BLOOD! What have you done to the Dark Lord! Avada..." Draco tried saying before his wand went snatched from his hands thanks to Tom using the Force, the boy then watched powerless as Voldemort snapped the piece of wood in half.
"Stop being a clone of your father and bring here some snacks, our Friday night poker kind of give me the munchies," Tom said with a dismissive wave of his hand.
"No news about getting a more human-looking body?" Albus asked while the cards were dealt.
"Looked around and asked to few other Loopers, the only lasting solution is Tsunade's technique, the one she used to appear younger," Tom answered, showing it by going through hand-seals and gaining an human-like appearance, just like how he would have been had his Horcruxes never existed.
"What about the Oiroke?" Harry asked with a smirk.
"Tch! I would totally make an hotter woman than you, Potter," Voldemort said with a sneer.
"Then show me! Oiroke no Jutsu!" Harry said, turning into a naked woman with her graces barely covered by wisps of smoke.
"BEHOLD! Oiroke no Jutsu!" Tom replied, turning himself into a naked woman as well, with smaller bust but firmer ass.
"Can we have a single game where you two do not turn into women? Is that too much to ask? You know that I hate to have dreams about my former Master and the Son of my schoolyard nemesis!" Snape said with a groan.
THUD!
"Oh! Mister Malfoy just collapsed," Albus said, watching in amusement the young man with green face and horrified expression frozen in place.
"What a pansy," Tom said while reverting into being a male.
"I blame inbreed," Harry answered.
And after that, the game started while ignoring the broken gibbering of the Malfoy heir convulsing on the floor in shock.
9 - 1 please help me choose the pairing that will appear through the loops. ^ ^
9 - 2 Rivals are rivals, no matter where.
9 - 3 Guess what will happen when they will meet an Unawake Gary and his under-trained Pokemon. XD
9 – 4 There are mysteries Male Mind can not comprehend.
9 – 5 After seeing what a "Normal" world is like, one can no longer go back...
9 – 6 Not every mind can withstand the Loops and what those mean.