Chapter 8: Wall Maria Part 6: Aftershock
I don't climb out of my titan, I fall out. I only just manage to hook the back of the disintegrating carcass just in time to avoid hitting the ground. After that I just lie splayed out in the dust, utterly exhausted. There's a loud "ahem!" from off to my left which prompts me to open my eyes. Victor is looking down at me with a raised eyebrow. "You realise this is still a combat zone right?" He asks.
"Sorry sir," I groan, as I sit up and rub my eyes. I can feel a rushing hot-cold sensation behind my eyes and I feel dizzy. "I uh, may need to pass out though," I say groggily, putting both hands to my forehead.
"There'll be time for that later," says Victor. "At any rate you can't do it here. The greater majority of the titans in the area are dead, and we've started to secure the cannons, but the city is far from totally secure. The middle of the street is not the safest place for a nap." Reluctantly I let him haul me to my feet and lead me away from the steaming mound behind me.
The world seems out of focus as we trudge through smashed, burnt and generally ruined streets. I have to keep my eyes trained on the ground because the sunlight suddenly seems ten times brighter than normal. It turns the entire sky white when I look up and gives me the worst headache I've had in a long time. On top of that I keep feeling as if I'm going to be sick. At some point Victor hands me on to someone else who I think is a medic, but I really have no idea. Everything starts to blend together for me, with all surrounding light becoming brilliant white so I have to close my eyes. Eventually we reach the foot of the Wall. The person with me urges me to try and use my gear to climb but, I don't even have the strength to tell them I can't make it. In the end I get carried up to the top where there are dozens of people milling about. I slump down with my back against an ammunition crate and close my eyes.
My eyes flicker open to a rush of golden light. I blink several times in an effort to clear my gaze. There are still dozens of soldiers rushing about, carrying various boxes, bundles and in a few cases what look unpleasantly like bodies. A huge jolt goes through me as the air is split by a deafening crack. I sit bolt upright and reach for my blades in panic, but no one else seems to be reacting to the noise. Then it comes again, and again and again. Then I groan at my own stupidity as I realise it's cannon fire. There should still be titans in the surrounding area, so it's no wonder the cannons are in use.
With a long drawn out sigh I heave myself upright. There's an instant pressure against my head, but after I stand still for a few seconds it goes. Without any particular location in mind I start walking along the Wall, blankly watching as soldiers rush past me. I walk past a lot of people hunched over and silent. Even hours after the main battle must have ended, there are still people in shock. I can't say I blame them. After Trost dozens of even the experienced soldiers went into a stunned silence, while some had full blown panic attacks. In a battle against the Titans, there's a lot more screaming after the battle than during. A few are crying while some just gaze gravely towards the ground far below. I'm dreading finding out what the casualty count is.
All of this to the backdrop of cannon fire, which serves as a constant reminder to those crouching in fear that things are far from over. Shiganshina is ours but, in realistic terms it's only a very, very small step towards victory. The Titans hold the entire world while we only hold a measly 250,000 square kilometres or so, most of which is still in dispute. Granted that's still no small pocket but, when you compare it to the global scale-which even conservative estimates place at well over 10 million square kilometres-it seems dauntingly insignificant. If we have to take back each part of the world piece by piece, it'll be thousands of years before this is over. Plus, we'd have to do it without the Walls to use as a secure jumping off point. That's why we have to hope that there's a better way.
I stop only a few steps away from the now stoppered gate. Countless kilometres of rolling hills, mountains, forests, lakes and who knows what else stretch off into the distance. If the little I can remember of the geography I was taught when I was a child is correct, the land eventually stops at the sea which goes on for untold leagues until it reaches other strange lands. There were, how many continents? I can't remember but there are meant to be several. The idea of a world so large is unspeakably daunting. And all of it filled with titans.
"Hey, Matthias is that you?" asks someone behind me.
"Sasha?" I ask as I turn to look at her. She looks tired, like everyone else.
"Are you okay?" She asks. "You look a bit distant."
"Just thinking," I reply idly.
"So uh, this is where you used to live huh?"
"For a little while yeah," I nod.
"It's a bit of a mess now."
"Yeah it is. I suppose some of that is kinda my fault," I add, rubbing the back of my neck. "How are you feeling after all that?"
"Oh you know," says Sasha with a wide wave of her hand. "It's nothing we haven't seen before right?"
"Maybe not." She bites her lip nervously. "What is it?"
"Not everyone is, well fine," she admits in a husky voice.
I suppose I should react in some way, except I can't seem to find the energy. "Who?" is all I ask.
"Armin and Jean are both in the field hospital," she says, eyes trained on the clear white stone surface beneath her feet, stained red by the setting sun. "I haven't been able to see them since I had to take a quick trip there myself." She taps on a bandage wrapped around her left hand. It looks like a rushed job, probably to make way for the next in a long line of cases. "I'm not really sure how bad it is but, when I was there, there was a lot of blood." I can feel something settle into the pit of my stomach and stay there. "You know it's funny," says Sasha in a tone of voice that implies it's anything but. "For once in my life, I'm not hungry. Weird how it only took countless brushes with death and seeing my friends devoured and crushed to do it."
I don't say anything to that. "Anyway, shouldn't you be at the HQ or something?" Sasha asks, deliberately changing the subject.
"I honestly have no idea," I sigh. "I passed out not long after getting out of my titan. For the last half hour I've just been wandering aimlessly."
"Well, you probably should go find it," says Sasha. "Major Hange will want to debrief you or whatever."
"Hange?"
"Commander Erwin is currently MIA from what I've heard. Some people say he's dead but they just don't want to let everyone know it yet. At the moment though he's just one of over a hundred apparently." She sighs and looks back over the scorched and shattered city. "They've set up their HQ above the inner gate," she says, pointing in that direction. "You should probably get going."
"Thanks Sasha," I say, stepping towards the edge of the Wall. "Take care of yourself."
"You too."
I jump off and free fall towards the ground far below. Just before impact I hook onto an old wooden beam and take a sharp turn upwards. I fly smoothly through the air, letting the cool breeze flow softly over my skin. In the shadow of the Walls it's basically already night time, despite the way in which the sky is lit up. It's eerie the way the huge structures plunge the cities into a world of darkness that stands contrary to the world around them. When my mother and I first came to Shiganshina I thought it was terrifying. It didn't take long to get used to however. Now it just feels like another variable of the atmosphere. Time dulls everything given enough of it.
The air rushes past me as I glide smoothly and rapidly down the main road. Hooking from one pile of rubble to the next. In an effort to take my mind of the gloom I can feel settling in I start to perform a few stunts in the air. Some flips, sharp turns, mid air spins. At one point I manage to line up a shot so well I catapult myself thirty meters into the air. From here I can see the city laid out neatly. I can also see where netting has been thrown over the inner gate as a preventative measure to help keep more titans from entering the city. Several cannons have also been set up in the middle of the road itself with a clear line of fire to the gate. The artillery pieces mounted on the Wall itself are still firing. Odds are they won't fall totally silent for weeks to come.
After another few minutes of gliding along I judge I'm close enough to hook directly to the Wall itself. Crossing the city on ODMs is much faster when one doesn't have to keep a look out for titans. A skilled user can cross the area in matter of ten minutes or so. It would normally take up to half an hour under combat conditions. I fire to a point about a quarter of the way up and swing myself in a circular motion. As I near the apex of my curve I let go of my hook and fire another one higher up. I repeat the process twice more before leaving myself a small space over which to slow down and make my landing more precise.
A few of the Scouts in the area look up as I land, but quickly switch their attention back to whatever it is that they're doing. In many cases that's no more than just sitting around. It's strange how, despite the immense accomplishment we've made today, no one seems to be celebrating, or even cheerful. I think about the carnage wrought by the ambush just before we reached the city-which I saw only a small part of-and I understand why. This victory feels hollow for the time being. Maybe after we've all had a chance to let things sink in it'll be better.
The 'HQ' seems to be little more than a group of officers with several maps and documents payed out on several boxes. As I get close Hange looks up from this scattered mess of paper. "Oh thank goodness!" She exclaims. "I was worrying that we'd lost you somewhere Matthias."
"No sir," I reply simply.
"Well, that makes one out of seventy five," sighs the Major. "In case you haven't heard by now Major-General Erwin is registered as MIA," she continues. "However, we all know that if he was able to reestablish contact with us he'd have already done it."
"You think he's dead?"
Hange fixes a bitter look on me. "There's still a chance that he's wounded somewhere, but I don't hold much hope."
"What about Armin and Jean; I was told they'd been taken wounded?" I ask, a hint of urgency creeping into my voice.
"Don't take this the wrong way Matthias," begins Hange. "But I have bigger things to worry about than the condition of an NCO and low ranking officer. However promising."
With difficulty I manage to bite my tongue. "Right, of course. Sorry sir."
"They're your friends, there's nothing to apologise for." I've got nothing to say to that. "Now then," continues Hange, her voice picking up into a much brisker tone. "Thanks to you and Eren the outer gate is sealed up nice and tight. Of course that will make it impossible for it to ever be used again but that's hardly our greatest concern as of this moment. The space within Wall Maria is essentially ours now, although we won't be ready to repopulate for several more months. It'll take a long time to lure in a eradicate all of the titans still wandering around out there. But of course," she continues, her eyes taking on that maniacal glint reserved for her favourite topics, "The best part is that we finally have our hands on an enemy titan-shifter we can get at!"
"Try to remember that he needs to be interrogated before you start cutting him open," points out Levi in a bored voice from his place by the map 'table'.
"Ah, but there won't be any harm in conducting a few preliminaries will there," replies the excited Major.
"You could probably use it as an effective form of leverage," pipes up Major Harold Zukhov. "Offer to reduce the time he has to spend with the Major in exchange for information."
"Don't you dare!" Snaps Hange spinning to face him. This brings smiles to a few faces. Levi just rolls his eyes.
"Can we get back to the point?" He asks irritably.
"Ah yes!" Exclaims Hange, turning on her heel. "So to cut out all of the boring statistics, apart from casualties making up roughly 15% of the Regiment we're golden."
"Fifteen percent?" I gasp.
Hange's face turns a little more serious. "We all knew that casualties for an operation of this scale would be high," she says. "No one can say that they didn't know what they were going into."
"That doesn't change the fact that none of them believed us when we warned them," says Levi. "We tried to get the point across but the fools convinced themselves we were just talking big to scare them. They've doubtless had a rude awakening by this time."
"Levi!" Snaps Zukhov with a glare. "They've been traumatised. Try and show some sympathy."
The Captain's usual response would just be a grunt of disinterest, but this time, something's different. "They're soldiers," he replies grimly. "We are told time and time again about the risks and the fallout from fighting the Titans. Soldiers kill and are in turn killed in accordance with their orders. There's an old saying; ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die! So don't expect me to feel sorry for any person who could be stupid enough to think that this line of work would be anything other than what was advertised. No one should ever step into the boots of a soldier and expect to live their life peacefully, or happily!"
There's total silence after Levi's outburst. Of course, if it had come from anyone else it wouldn't have been called an outburst. The entire time the Captain barely raised his voice. But in comparison to his usual almost toneless style of speech this was like screaming. After a few moments Levi grunts in disgust. "I'll check to see how clean-up's progressing," he says before stepping nimbly off the Wall to drop down to the city below.
"Huh, wonder who ruffled his feathers?" ponders Zukhov. "He's not normally so voluble on a subject."
"He feels sad," I say without thinking. Everyone looks at me in surprise. "Oh sorry," I say hastily, "I know I'm not supposed to read other people's emotions without permission but, it was practically screaming at me. He feels sad about something, I don't know what though."
"Erwin," says Hange simply. "Erwin was something of an older brother, maybe even a father figure to him. That man changed his life around, and now he's gone and we don't even have a body. I wish he'd been here to see this." For the first time since I first set eyes on her, Zoe Hange looks sad. I've seen her throw fits before but that's not the same. Now she's quiet, and it's more than a little unnerving.
After several moments of silence I decide I need to speak up. "Um, sir?" I prompt. "What do you want me to do?"
"Right now nothing," says Hange calmly. "Go see your friends in the hospital Matthias. It's centred around an open square not far from the canal, close to south end. Then, get some sleep. Tomorrow we've got a few secrets to unearth."
"Yes sir," I say, before saluting and walking away. I look back to see the Major still standing there looking down at the city. Whether it's towards the sunset or just after her fellow officer I have no idea.
"I'm looking for an Armin Arlert and Jean Kirstein," I inform the medic as I manage to catch him on his way from one patient to another.
"Ah yes," he says with a knowing nod. "You'll find them down towards the end there."
"Thank you," I say before turning to hurry.
"Oh and by the way," adds the man before I can take too many steps. "Thanks. You probably didn't know this but, you saved my niece during the Female Titan's rampage through Stohess."
That catches me very much by surprise. It didn't feel like I was protecting anyone in Stohess, all I was aware of was trying to take down Annie. "You're welcome," is all I can really manage. The man smiles and moves away.
I hurry over in the direction I've been prompted. What I find is two mock up beds made up of cloaks with bundled up jackets for pillows. Eren is slumped against a nearby building with his legs pulled up. Mikasa sits next to him with her hand on his shoulder. Just four months ago Eren would never have allowed that. The two pale figures on the 'beds' send chills down my spine. The cloaks are covered in blood, now dried to an almost black crust.
I squat down to the closest one. A pair of tired looking blue eyes turn towards to me. "Hey Armin," I manage, trying to keep my voice as cheerful and reassuring as possible.
The blonde manages a weak smile. "Hey Matthias," he replies. "It's good to see you're all right."
"Oh you know, healing powers and all that," I mutter lamely. "How are you feeling?"
"Not so bad as when it happened," says Armin. He's speaking quietly but he's not rasping at all, which hopefully means there's no damage to his throat or lungs. "My stomach hurts if I move around too much but I think I'm fine."
"What, what exactly happened?" I ask, swallowing hard.
"It was stupid really," he mutters. "I got grabbed and bitten. Thankfully the titan went down before it could sever anything. I think my spine's damaged though, my legs feel a bit numb and I have trouble moving them around much. Apart from that it's just a few bruises."
"Well, I probably shouldn't be disturbing you," I say.
"No, it's fine," says Armin. "I'm not as badly hurt as everyone seems to think. I'm sure I'll be up and about in no time."
"The sooner the better," I say with the best smile I can manage.
The second figure I don't make a move to disturb. I can tell from the fact that the blanket falls off far to soon that Jean's injuries are pretty bad. I can remember when I lost part of my leg to the Female Titan. It was a horrible experience. In the end I grew it back. I doubt Jean will be so lucky. One quick look at his ash grey face is enough to convince me to let him sleep.
"Hey," I say as I sit down next to Eren.
"I figured that if we won," begins Eren, not looking at me, "Then we'd be celebrating. This doesn't feel like the field of victory, it feels like a graveyard."
I exchange looks with Mikasa. Her eyes are somewhat glum but nothing compared to everyone else's. She actually seems somewhat, pleased. Good, at least someone is. "We did achieve a task everyone thought was impossible," I point out. "We've retaken Wall Maria. The end can't be far off now."
"One way, or the other," adds Eren, turning his emerald eyes towards me.