Hey people
haha i updated the wrong chapter!!
whoops
well umm...yeah
Lac73 here's the update i was suppose to update today but forgot until your reminder thanks for that
And yeah umm...i don't remember this chapter...i know the chapter 11 is nice..yeah
Enjoy this one...i guess :D
When I woke up the next morning, I realized that a small frame was snuggled up in my arms. It was Aiden of course. I looked down at the sleeping child and held him tighter lifting my head to search for Athrun, who was nowhere to be found. Curious, I wondered how Aiden got here in the first place.
I heard the shower turn on in the distance and let out a sigh thinking that I could have been in there with him.
"Good morning mommy," Aiden said yawning out.
"Morning baby, how did you get here?" I asked
He shrugged and said, "Dad, told me to watch you, because you're still injured."
"What?" I said confused.
"He said you still had bruises and wanted them to finish healing," he said.
"Oh," I said looking around, "Good thing you're here. Now I want you to explain everything to me."
Aiden looked confused at me for a moment and then realized what I was talking about.
"Chloe?" he said, "I just dream about her mommy, ever since she died."
"Do you choose these dreams or do they just come to you?" I asked
He shook his head, "They don't stop mommy. Every time I sleep I see a day she goes through and how she grew up."
I swallowed with difficulty.
"But until the shuttle I haven't gotten any mommy, they just stopped," Aiden said, "I miss her sometimes, she talks to me in my dream and we play."
I nodded and kissed his forehead, "You have to let her go baby; she's in a better place. Right?"
He nodded and said, "Yes, she's happy from what I saw."
"Then let's leave Chloe there Aiden, happy," I said with tears filling my eyes.
He nodded and said, "Can I go get some milk?"
I smiled and said, "Sure, are you able to?"
"I'm a big boy mommy," he said, "I'll show you."
"Okay," I said.
He left the room and I let out the breath I had been holding. Aiden might have stopped getting those dreams, but they didn't stop completely. I got them now and they weren't as happy Aiden saw them as. I took a sip of water trying to block the fragmented image and voices I saw.
"Morning," Athrun said coming in with baggy pants and a muscle shirt. His hair was damp and he glanced me over once on the bed.
"Hi," I said out slowly, "Took a shower without me?"
"I thought you wee sleeping," Athrun said, "Or have you become such a great actress?"
"No I was sleeping," I said stretching out my arms on the bed and snuggled under the covers.
"Don't tell you're going to sleep again," he asked
"Well as our son quoted, 'I'm still injured,' so I can sleep in as long as want," I said looking at him briefly before closely my eyes.
"You were tossing around the bed last night," Athrun said out slowly, "Anything in particular you were dreaming about?"
My eyes snapped open and I sat up recalling the images, my face contorting. Athrun was at my side inquiring. I touched my forehead and grimaced at him leaning on his chest for some comfort.
"I haven't been feeling very well," I said twiddling my fingers.
"And that creates nightmares?" he asked precariously.
"Umm…no," I said
"We are going to end up in circle until you spill what the real problem is Cagalli," he said
"It's just that I've been dreaming about Chloe," I said out quickly, "That's it."
"How long?" he whispered.
"Since we left for the PLANTs," I said.
Athrun's smile faded and he said, "Was it her beat up with a stick?"
"What?" I asked confused.
"Three bullies harassing her?" Athrun asked
"How did you know?" I asked then paused realizing the situation.
"Yeah, I've been getting them too," he said with a frown, "Each of her birthdays and Christmas, I'd get one. But those ones were much happier then these."
I blinked staring up widely at my husband, a torn father just as much as I was a torn mother.
"Athrun?" I drawled out, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"There was no need for you to know, when it was just a few months ago you actually stopped sleeping in that room," Athrun said, "I thought I would be able to tell you that she's happy, and I was going to this morning, but god after last night…I don't ever want to sleep again."
I gripped his hand in fear and said, "Do you think she's..-"
"Don't start that Cagalli please," he said, "I think it's best for all of us, including Aiden that we forget about these dreams and just move on. Chloe will always be with us, but we can't go on like this. You think I haven't noticed the changes in you Cagalli, but I have. I've tried so hard to help you through this but after all these years, nothing's changed. You still can't accept it."
"What do you want me to do Athrun?" I asked, "Go on pretending that I do accept it. You want me to lie. Then fine I will."
"No," Athrun said, "Just…see this is what I mean…we always end up back to square one. And you know what fine! Live like this, pine for Chloe, because Cagalli no matter what you believe the reality is that Chloe is dead and you can't bring her back."
He left the room and I had no idea that those words would change my life forever.
I hated it when Athrun was angry at me. He'd turn into a block of ice, figuratively of course. He ignored me and focused his attention at Aiden, while I, just to spite him, focused my attention toward my laptop to do some Orb stuff. However that backfired because Kisaka blocked me from access to any of our archives. So there went my plan.
Aiden was frustrated between the turmoil between us and why wouldn't he, the last fight or we were angry at each other was the day Chloe died. And before that was, when I accidentally punched him, when Shinn threw a bucket of cold water to wake me up. So this was technically the first time he saw us angry at each other.
And I felt dreadfully guilty and crappy. I hated Athrun's anger and most of all I hated that he ignored me. Athrun was right. I needed to move on. I hadn't realized I changed so much over these past years. Maybe it wasn't obvious but Aiden was more distant then me. I never went to him…ever, but rather he always came to me. Athrun always tried to get me to open up, but I'd always find a way to distract him by either a kiss or the other allure. And if that wasn't enough I separated myself from my friends by the constant excuse of work. Expect for this vacation I don't remember the last time Athrun, Aiden and I ever went out to either the beach or a trip. I was living a life of misery.
"Mommy," Aiden said coming up to me in the office and tugging my pants.
"Yes," I said looking at him.
"Dad and I are going for walk, do you want to come?" he asked with a desperate hope in his eyes.
I immediately said my automatic response, "I'm kind of busy right now."
I didn't know how I hadn't noticed the desolate look in his eyes for the past years until now. It was because he averted his eyes and smiled, "That's okay, and dad said we'll be back soon. And Jack is outside."
I felt my heart break as I heard the false happiness in his voice.
"I'll miss you mommy bye," he said leaving the room quickly.
I would have called him out, but I realized what kind of a mother I had become. I rushed downstairs and out the front door and saw the car zoom away. I asked Jack, the body guard, "I thought they went for a walk?"
"Mr. Zala changed his mind ma'am he kind of rush away with Aiden," he said
"Oh," I said, "Well I be right back okay Jack, I know where they went."
"Mrs. Zala, you do know I am forced to come with you," he said
"Well," I said, "Since I can't be alone anywhere anymore, I'm going to my room and if you disturb me Jack, I will just hurt you."
"Yes ma'am," he said
I rush back inside and slammed the door. I felt tears fill my eyes and quickly went out through the back and out through the gate. I ran through the trail into the woods, finding a nice sturdy tree, I sat down on the base of it and started crying my eyes out. Everything was rushing back to me.
"I'm sorry miss, but are you okay?" I heard a child's voice ask me.
I would have most likely felt embarrassed, if I wasn't feeling so bad.
"I'm fine," I said sobbing a bit.
"It's okay," she said, "You can cry, but I thought big girls didn't cry."
"Oh they can sweetie," I said, "Just look at me."
"Why are you crying?" she asked sitting beside me.
"Nothing you need to worry about," I said wiping me tears to finally have a clear vision.
The girl sat down in front of me and the first thing I noticed was her emerald green eyes, a shade that was exactly the same as Athrun's. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see the colour of her hair. It was blonde, no doubt about that.
"What's your name?" she asked me, "I'm Chloe."
I fainted.
I was lifted by a pair of arms next and I knew that they were of a strangers.
"AHH!!" I yelled out, "Don't touch me!"
"It's me ma'am your bodyguard," Jack said
"What the hell!" I said, "You gave me heart attack."
"Sorry ma'am just bringing you back. I can't believe you ran away," he said
"I did not run away," I said, "I merely just went for a walk and…fell asleep against a tree, nothing wrong with that."
"You fainted," he said, "I can recognize the position you were in; must have seen something crazy."
"I hit my head on the tree and collapsed/fainted," I said stupidly.
"Right ma'am," he said, "You think you can walk?"
"Of course," I said next placed on the ground and walked dizzily towards the house and then soon regained my balance, "I'll be in my room now."
"I think I'll stay right outside of it," he said.
"I promise I won't go anywhere," I said sincerely, "I just needed to be alone at that moment."
He nodded and left, leaving me alone as I walked to my room and fell on the bed gripping the sheets in fear. I was hallucinating now. Maybe I needed help. My head was dangling off the bed and I held my forehead in pain. That's how a frantic Athrun saw me.
"Oh god Cagalli what the hell happened?" he asked, "Jack told me you fainted."
I felt heartbroken seeing how worried he was over me, and I couldn't help it. I started crying and pushing him away.
"You can do so much better then me," I sobbed curling my body and crying in my hands, "I'm a useless wife, the worlds' worst mother and an even crappier person."
Athrun rubbed my back ignoring my futile attempts to push him away.
"God I'm such a bi-" I started only to have Athrun's lips cover mine.
I broke away quickly and said, "No Athrun, I think I've gone crazy. Maybe I need help. I knew there was something wrong with me."
Again Athrun kissed me to stop my hoard of confessions.
"Will you stop kissing me!" I growled a bit, "I'm trying to say I'm sorry."
"And I forgave you the moment I left the room earlier," he said cupping me cheeks.
"I've been so…detached these years Athrun," I said connecting our foreheads, "I'm so tired of all this. I just want it to end. Just when I thought I could finally move on all this had to happen. The dreams were enough until I start seeing her everywhere."
Athrun kissed my neck to efficiently calm me down.
"You just need time," he said
"I've had all the time in the world," I said, "Why doesn't it stop? I'm trying so hard Athrun, she just won't leave me!"
"Then accept her Cagalli," he said, "Of course you can't forget her and truly move on, and don't let her leave you Cagalli. You two were very close. You two shared a deep bond. It's not one you can overcome even in years. It might take you an eternity."
"Then what can I do?" I asked
"Just love Cagalli," he said, "Share the love you had for Chloe. Give it to Aiden, me…your friends and family and most of all to yourself. Keep some love Cagalli. That's the only thing you can do. Ever since the accident you have blamed yourself for everything, and looked down upon everything, because you thought it wasn't worth anything anymore. But it is Cagalli. You still have a life with me and with our son and we need you. You are my life Cagalli. You are worth living for."
"Athrun," I cried out softly hearing the words just melt my heart, "Where would I be without you?"
"Where I would be without you," he said, "Without a soul and a life not worth living for."
"I love you," I said
"I would kiss you, but you told me not to," he said
"Oh for the –" I started as Athrun kissed me. It would have lead to more but Aiden came through the door and upon seeing his once angry parent kissing, hugged onto our legs.
I pulled away and grabbed Aiden in my arms holding him close and apologized constantly, showering his with kisses. He laughed in my arms and wrapped his arms around my neck, just content to be with me.
"I love you mommy," he said, "And it's okay."
"I love you so much Aiden," I said
"Baby mommy, not Aiden," he said cheekily
"Of course baby," I said, "Because…"
"I'll always be your baby," he replied and kissed my cheek. And like that I knew everything was going to me okay.
"Now…will you tell me how you fainted?" Athrun asked.
"You know me Athrun," I said, "I'm a trouble magnet, maybe I had just bashed my head on the tree seeing some imaginary wolf and fainted."
"Imaginary wolf?" Athrun inquired, "Nice try. Be original."
"Well I'll be honest and say I saw Chloe, but I know that didn't happen," I said, "Because Chloe is dead."
Athrun's eyes widened at my statement and nodded.
Okay!!
Umm next chapter is written but i'm going to wait for a few "you know whats" before posting it.
So next chapter is nice and sweet
Till time
Samera...or my new name Mango Flavoured Tango...YAY MANGO!!