Season 1, Episode 8
Story 8: The Druid Boy
Chapter 10: Lies
Merlin slowly turned around and pulled off his hood. "Merlin?" Arthur asked, dropping his sword. "What are you doing here? Do you know how dangerous it is for you to be here?"
"You're the prince Arthur. I doubt anyone is going to think you're harboring a sorcerer. I had to make sure you were okay. You look awful," Merlin told him.
"I haven't been sleeping well," Arthur said indifferently with a shrug.
Merlin hesitated before he spoke. "Are you going to turn me in?" Merlin asked him uncertainly. He realized for the first time that Arthur had every right to do that.
"No," Arthur said after a moment. Merlin waited. He knew Arthur would question him when he was ready. Sure enough, after a couple of moments had passed, Arthur spoke. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"How could I?" Merlin asked him. "You're the prince. It's your obligation to turn me in for being a sorcerer."
"Not about that," Arthur said with a sigh. "I don't particularly care that you are a sorcerer. Not anymore. You didn't tell me how you felt about Morgana."
"I didn't think you would understand," Merlin told him honestly. "And I thought that you cared for her."
Arthur looked up at Merlin surprised. "I love Morgana," he said slowly. "But like a sister." Arthur chuckled to himself as if enjoying some kind of private joke. Merlin looked at him concerned. His laughter had sounded more deranged than joyful.
"Why don't you care that I'm a sorcerer?" Merlin asked Arthur suspiciously. That was the opposite of what he had expected.
Arthur let out another emotionless chuckle. "Because my whole life has been a lie," Arthur said. Arthur's fatigue seemed to catch up with him as he stumbled.
Merlin kicked into manservant mode. "Come on sire," he said, guiding Arthur over to a chair at the table. Arthur's dinner sat untouched on the table. Merlin took the tray and concentrated for a moment. When the food on the tray had been properly warmed, Merlin placed the tray in front of Arthur. "Eat."
Merlin made sure Arthur took a couple of bites of his meal before he began to tidy up his chambers.
"Why hasn't your new manservant been cleaning your chambers?" Merlin asked as he threw all of Arthur's dirty clothes in a basket. Arthur didn't answer, instead choosing to pick at his meal. Merlin took the basin that was in the corner of the room and left for a moment to fill it. When he returned, Arthur was nearly halfway done with his meal. Merlin watched Arthur nervously for a moment. He wasn't acting like himself and Merlin wasn't going to leave until he found out why. Merlin set the basin by the basket of dirty clothes. "Raedee asce geotan," Merlin muttered. Arthur clothes began to wash themselves in the basin. Merlin dried the clothes and put them away as they were cleaned.
By the time that task was done and Merlin had purified the water, Arthur had pushed away what remained of his dinner. He had eaten just over half of it. Not enough, but better than nothing. "Sire, you must bathe," Merlin told him. Arthur smelt awful. "You'll feel better once you have."
"Are you trying to tell me that I smell?" Arthur asked tiredly. Merlin almost smiled. It was so similar to conversations they used to have when Merlin had been his manservant.
"No sire," Merlin said quickly. "Just that the smell you are emanating can be improved by bathing."
Arthur chuckled. "Oh what have I done without your extraordinary wit all these years?" Arthur asked sarcastically.
"It must have been very boring without me," Merlin told him. "Now I must insist that you bathe."
Arthur reluctantly stood up and went behind his dressing stand. Merlin could hear the sound of his clothes hitting the floor. Merlin waited until Arthur told him he was in the tub to turn around.
Arthur already looked like he was feeling better. "When is the last time you washed?" Merlin asked him.
"A few weeks ago, I suppose," Arthur said. "I don't exactly recall when I fired Godrey."
"Weeks?" Merlin asked incredulously. "Arthur, you're the prince. You're to bathe everyday if possible."
"It wasn't possible," Arthur said with a shrug.
Merlin bit his lip and said nothing. He would wait until Arthur was finished to talk to him. Merlin picked up the clothes Arthur had been wearing and put them in the basket. Merlin grimaced when he smelt them. He had known they were the same clothes Arthur had worn earlier, but they reeked. While Arthur finished up, Merlin finished cleaning his chambers. Merlin had only been there about two hours, but Arthur's chambers had already been transformed.
Once Arthur was finished, he dried himself off and Merlin handed him a pair of sleep breaches for the night. Arthur put them on as well as a soft white tunic. Arthur sat down on the edge of his bed and looked around impressed.
Merlin hesitated before he sat down next to Arthur. "What is going on?" Merlin asked him seriously. "I have never seen you like this before."
"Like I said before. Everything I ever held to be true is a lie," Arthur said sadly.
"Like what?" Merlin asked him tentatively. He didn't know how far he could push Arthur.
"I killed my mother," Arthur said softly.
"Arthur, you did not kill your mother," Merlin told him sternly. "It wasn't your fault that she died."
"But it was," Arthur said quietly. "She died because I was born." A single tear fell from the corner of his eye.
"She died giving childbirth," Merlin pointed out. "There was nothing anyone could have done."
"There was though!" Arthur exploded. Merlin stared at Arthur shocked. Arthur was furious. "She was barren. She couldn't have children. My father used magic to have me conceived. That's why she died."
Merlin froze. "Where did you hear this?" He asked.
"A witch Morgause," Arthur told him. "She knew my mother. And when I confronted my father about it, he didn't deny it. She knew all sorts of things about my father." Merlin had never heard Arthur sound so bitter before.
Merlin closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "But that doesn't make it your fault. If anything, that is your father's fault. You had no say in your conception." Merlin looked at Arthur's expression. "But I don't think that is all that is bothering you."
"It is," Arthur lied.
"This isn't the product of that secret," Merlin argued motioning to Arthur.
"I don't look that bad," Arthur argued.
"But you do. How could you let yourself get like this?" Merlin asked him. He hated to lecture Arthur, but this was something he needed to hear. "You have a duty to your people. I know that you're going through a lot. And I know you haven't told me everything, but you're the prince Arthur. You may not be king, but your people look up to you. What are they going to think if you wear the same dirty clothes and don't bathe?"
"I don't look that bad. My people don't suspect anything," Arthur muttered.
"Even Morgana says you look awful," Merlin retorted.
"Morgana?" Arthur asked ignoring Merlin's comment. "Is she here too?" Arthur looked around as if expecting Morgana to appear out of thin air.
"No, she's in the woods," Merlin told him.
Arthur's eyes widened and he suddenly looked wide awake. "No, no, no," Arthur said in a panic. "We have to get to her. She's in danger."
"How do you know?" Merlin asked him. Merlin didn't hesitate as he followed Arthur out of his chambers. Merlin was surprised to see the sun coming up on the horizon. He had missed his chance to check on Gaius.
"Things have changed," Arthur said slowly. "There are slave traders all over these woods. We can only do so much to keep them at bay."
Their fast walk picked up until they were running. Thanks to Arthur, Merlin was able to leave the city without being questioned. Merlin rushed to the clearing where he had left Morgana and was relieved to see her dozing off against a tree. Merlin turned to share his relief with Arthur and was shocked to see that Arthur was retreating. "I have duties to fulfill," Arthur explained quietly. "And I don't think I'm ready to talk to her yet."
Merlin was about to ask Arthur what he was talking about, but by then, Arthur was gone.
Merlin knelt down by Morgana and lightly put his hand on her shoulder. Morgana snapped awake, looking around wildly until she saw Merlin.
"You're back," Morgana whispered excitedly.
Merlin didn't answer. Instead he crushed his lips to hers. He was so glad that she was okay.