Unrequited Love…. Perhaps?

Really, really sorry for the late update T.T I'm starting to get busy because my holidays is over *sobs* I hope you could tolerate my tardiness in the future =(

For the meantime, please, enjoy =D

#Sorry for bad grammar or tenses#

Disclaimer : I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE

Chapter 10

"Don't be so nervous like that, baka, you will give your acting out." Hotaru quietly scolded me as we walked to the calculus class.

I bit my lower lip and fiddled with my book's corner. "I can't help it! The last time I saw him was when I slapped him hard. I don't know what he would do to me if he sees me now."

"He won't do anything, Mikan. I doubt that he will do something out of ordinary when he already received a harsh smack on his cheeks." Nonoko chimed in, walking beside me.

"Yeah, I agree with Nonoko," said Anna, nodding her head while munching her homemade cookie happily.

I rolled my eyes. "You are all a bunch of optimistic girls."

"I am not saying that he won't do anything." Hotaru quickly replied, deadpanned.

I look at her skeptically. "I know you won't say that, Hotaru. You are too mean to say some encouraging words like that."

Hotaru shrugged. "At least I am logical, and what I said was in accordance with reality."

"You expect Hyuuga-sensei to lash out at Mikan?" asked Anna, looking at me in horror.

"Maybe. I don't know." Hotaru answered nonchalantly. "But I'm sure I would make him suffer if he dares to touch that baka."

Aww.. Since all of these Hyuuga-sensei things, Hotaru has been showing me her sweet sides. I don't even know that she has one sweet bone in her body, although I have known her since we were still in diapers.

"Do you remember the plan Mikan?" asked Nonoko, looking directly at me.

"Yes, of course." I answered while nodding. It is a simple plan, how could I forget?

"Andou, may I remind you not to ruin this?" Hotaru said pointedly at the dark blue haired guy.

Tsubasa laughed and grinned at my way. "There is no way I would ruin this, Imai. Just relax. I would be the best boyfriend ever."

"That's good to know. If you dare to ruin this, I would make you living in hell," threatened Hotaru, pulling a few of embarrassing photos of Tsubasa.

I must say I'm impressed. Hotaru only known Tsubasa for a few days, maybe 4 or 5 days, and she already could make some blackmailing photos. That's amazing you know.

Tsubasa grimaced. "Can't I buy the photos?"

"It's futile Andou, even if you dispose the photos I have here, I still have many copy in my computers," said Hotaru, deadpanned.

Tsubasa groaned. "Well, looks like I am defeated by such a young girl."

"It's because you are stupid." Hotaru replied nonchalantly, walking past him to go into the class.

Tsubasa chuckled. "The ice queen sure is something."

I nodded in agreement with him. "Yeah. She is always like that since we were still babies."

"You know her since you both are babies? That's cool!" Tsubasa look at me with astonishment clear in both of his eyes.

I blushed, not knowing what the reason is. "I-It's nothing actually. My mom and her mom just being best buddies since high school and make their children best friends with each other too."

"But still that's awesome. Is it her habit?"

"Yeah. She is always like that even since babies, always had an emotionless expression and a deadpanned tone." I replied. "I didn't even knew if she could cry or got angry."

Hotaru's stride stops for a moment. "I am capable of bearing any of those emotions, Mikan. I just prefer not to show them."

I looked at her in surprise; I didn't expect her to answer bluntly like that. I knew that she is an introvert person. Maybe because I have known her for a long time I could read her emotions sometimes and she would tell me several things that nobody knows, even her mother. But sometimes she would keep them to herself.

I felt sad to know that. I wanted her to tell me everything, not to keep her burden to herself. I really want to help her, although I know I won't be used much. She is smarter than me after all, but at least I could do something for her, something to lessen her burden. I'm sure that her stoic appearance is just to hide her pain. I could say this because I know her past. I still remember clearly when we were still 12 years old she came to me with teary eyes.

Flashback

"Hotaru!" I waved at her, signaling her to come here. That day we were planning to go fishing in the morning, when the sun is still peeking from behind the horizon.

Our houses are really close to the ocean, so we often play at the beach till dinner time. Last week, my father had already promised to bring us to the sea, and he fulfilled his promise right now. How exciting, we are going to catch as many fishes as we can!

"I am here, Hotaru!" I called at her again. In case she didn't see me, because her shoulder length raven hair was covering her face.

I was going to get her, already standing up on both of my feet, when Hotaru changed her direction to mine as if she suddenly saw me.

"Hey, baka." Hotaru greeted quietly. I notice that her voice is slightly shaking. I just brush it off because I often heard her wrong, and that cause me to have a painful bump on my forehead, courtesy of her baka gun.

"Good morning! Have you taken your breakfast yet?" I asked cheerily, didn't realize that the air around Hotaru is gloomy.

Hotaru nodded her head slowly as an answer, and that made me frowned. I always asked that question whenever we met early in the morning, but her answer was always a deadpanned 'idiot' and a bullet from baka gun which often hit my shoulder.

"Hotaru? Is there something wrong?" I asked carefully, leaning back so I could see her face better behind all the silky looking raven hair.

"No." Hotaru answered briefly, looking up to the sunrise.

"Are you sure?"

Hotaru didn't answered my question, instead, she just glance at my way and back to the beautiful scenery.

"It's pretty isn't it?" I tried to change the topic, not wanting to press her harder.

"Yeah."

Okay, this is starting to get frustrating. I don't even know how I could get Hotaru to talk to me. I think there is something wrong. This is not the usual Hotaru. Well, I will try again. It's not that hard to make her talk, hopefully, I'm her best friend anyway.

"What do you think of our fishing today?"

"Great." Hotaru said, deadpanned.

"Do you think we could catch many fishes?"

"Perhaps."

"Do you want to search for some shells while we are waiting for my dad?"

"No."

"Do you bring bucket for our fishing?"

"Yes."

"Do you bring your hat?"

"No."

"Why? It will be hot later in the sea."

"No reason."

Alright, I give up. It is impossible to make Hotaru talk in this state.

Finally I choose to stay silent and watched the sunrise with her. Maybe silence was all she needed to calm her mind.

"Mikan?" Hotaru called quietly after sometime.

I nearly jump in surprise. Hotaru would never call me by my name, always using 'baka', 'stupid', 'idiot', or even a simple 'you' would do. And she talks first. She talks first. You could consider that as a miracle. In 12 years of our friendship, it was always me who started the conversation.

"Yeah?" I replied after recovering from my shock.

"What do you think of your parents?"

Right, this is weird. Hotaru would never asks me this kind of question.

"Well, I think they are great! I love them so much!" I beamed at her. "Do you love your parents?"

Hotaru's head turned to face me. I could clearly saw sadness in her eyes. "I think I love them, but it seems that my love have lessen and lessen each day."

"Why?"

"I .. I could never satisfy them, Mikan. Each day I worked so hard, earning many trophies in school, winning gold medals in many brainstorming competitions, but they just wouldn't stop pressing me. They still want more and more." Hotaru paused for a while, trying to blink away her tears. "They didn't appreciate me, every achievement, every hard work, I want to stop, just stop living in this kind of world."

When Hotaru said the last word, she broke into tears, silently sobbing to her palms which covering her face.

I don't know what to do. Hotaru had never cried, it's always me who was comforted by her, not the other way around. But I couldn't leave her just like that right? I must do something.

After considering a few gestures, I finally choose to reach out to her and gave her a comforting hug.

I don't know I hug her for how long, but, I quickly call my dad a few minutes after she bursts into tears, telling him that I cancelled the fishing because Hotaru need comforting right now, not the fishes in the sea. My father say 'yes' to my request and I continue to sit there on the dock with Hotaru crying in my arms.

"Maybe you should try to talk to your parents, Hotaru. Perhaps they didn't know that you need appreciation. I know that many parents nowadays aren't sensitive enough to realize that every child needs appreciation for everything they do." I finally open my mouth after – maybe – two hours, talking to her in a soothing tone.

"They won't listen." Hotaru mumbled quietly, wiping away the remaining tears. Her eyes are swollen red, and she looked like a mess.

"They will, Hotaru. I know they love you, if they don't, they won't raise you up to a good girl like this." I replied gently, offering some tissues I brought in my bag. "I will accompany you if you need some support." I smiled at her, holding her hand.

"Are you sure?" Hotaru asked. For a moment there, the usual ice queen looks vulnerable, like a little child.

I nodded. "Yes. I'm totally sure about that. So now cheer up, we are going to collect some pretty shells now!" I half shouted, jumping up while pulling her.

Hotaru looked at me with questioning looks.

"Come on, I can't go fishing so you must accompany me to search for some shells." I pulled her hand.

Hotaru gave me a weak smile, but at least that is still a smile, and moreover, it reached her eyes. "Thank you, baka."

I beamed back at her. "You are welcome. Now let's go collect some shells!"

That morning, we spent nearly a day for collecting pretty shells. I got so many of them and I put them in glass bottle. I still have it in my bedroom now, as a reminder that I am Hotaru's best friend.

End Flashback

"-kan! Mikan?! Mikan?!"

Tsubasa's voice woke me up from my flashback.

I jolted and looked up to his confused face.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked.

I slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Are you sure? You are spacing out for quite long."

"Just let that baka be, Andou. She is like that since we are still babies." Hotaru looked at me and gave me a slight smile. I think she knows what is running on my mind by the way she look at me. "Come on, if we don't go now, we are going to be late." She continued, walking again.

"Come on, Mikan." Tsubasa grabbed my hand and pull me gently.

I followed Tsubasa's lead in light steps. Somehow, Hotaru's smile – although it's so small – manages to erase all of my worries and answer all my anxiousness. I know for sure now, that she is going to be alright.

My best friend is the ice queen anyway, and I'm her most trusted person.

YellowOrangeRed : Thank you very much for your review! XD Yeah, Tsubasa and Misaki are a cute couple, aren't they?

Sakura Shiragiku : Thank you so much for your review! XD Here is the update, hope you like it!

RavenAcA3 : Thank you very much for your review! XD I wish you like this chapter too =D

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