Chapter Ten

Tightrope

From Rachel: Blaine, it's Rachel. Kurt collapsed in dance class today. He's losing weight, and I don't think he's eating. Can you come visit soon?

Blaine's heart broke knowing he couldn't drop everything and go to Kurt. His commitments to activities were numerous. But Bas might be able to, and he'd never been more pleased to have the extra support of a second boyfriend. He called Sebastian right away.

"Of course I'll go. I'm already packing," Bas said immediately, throwing jeans and sweatshirts into his backpack and waking his laptop to get a flight.

"Please keep me in the loop. I feel like I should call him and see if he'll talk to me-" Blaine paced the hallway outside the choir room where he'd stepped out of rehearsal.

"No. If he was gonna talk to either one of us, he would have. I'll take care of him, Blaine. I promise. And I'll let you know how it goes. But..." It occurred to Bas how oversensitive Kurt could be to his concerns about them.

"But what?"

"If Kurt thinks we're plotting behind his back, or that I'm reporting to you..."

"Oh god, he'll feel so betrayed..."

"Do you trust me, babe?"

"Yes, Bas, of course I do."

"So trust me to deal with this and I will tell you everything when I get back."

"Okay."

"Good, now-"

"Bas?" Blaine had to make sure Sebastian understood that he trusted him with absolutely everything.

"Yeah?"

"It's okay, if you two are intimate. Do whatever he needs, alright?"

"Sure thing. I'll give you all those juicy details, too, okay? So you can picture it while you beat off."

Blaine rolled his eyes but felt aroused at the thought, too. It was incongruous with the worry he felt about Kurt's health. "So kind."

~~Glee~~

Sebastian wanted to scream the moment he saw Kurt. The slim boy had gotten almost skeletal, with his eyes sunken and face barely recognizable with his cheekbones and jaw accentuated. His neck even looked thin. Clothing; layers and layers of it, covered up the rest, but it was a terrifying sight.

Bas closed his eyes and took a breath, then slapped his cocky grin into place and approached.

"Hey there, Blue Eyes! Surprised to see me?" Sebastian said, sauntering up to him and dropping into a chair at his table.

"Ohmygod, Bas! What are you doing here!" Kurt cried, reaching out to him. Bas hugged him, choking on a whimper at the lack of solid substance in his arms. He kissed Kurt's cheek and schooled his expression before he pulled back.

"I needed a break. Too much drama at Dalton. And now that I'm eighteen, why shouldn't I use some of that trust fund to have a good time every now and then?"

Kurt put his hand on Bas's and held tight. "It's so good to see you, my dear Bas. Why didn't you tell me you were coming, though?"

"I wanted to see that unrestrained joy that only my presence could bring," Bas said casually. He looked around. "But I could use some lunch. What's good here?"

Kurt's eyes slid sideways. "I don't know. Get whatever you want. I'll even let you buy me more tea."

"You're having more than tea, Kurt," Sebastian said. Kurt frowned.

"I'm not hungry, Bas," he said.

Sebastian sighed and pulled his phone out. He typed quickly and Kurt's phone buzzed. With an eye roll, he picked it up to read.

From Bas: back to no BS zone. What the fuck is going on with you?

"Nothing, Sebastian! I'm just stressed out," Kurt said. Bas stared with one eyebrow raised until Kurt picked up his phone with a huff.

From Kurt: I am very busy

From Bas: I'm scared seeing you like this

Bas hit send on that one before he could chicken out. He'd researched all he could on eating disorders on the way here, but he also knew that with the type of relationship he and Kurt had, he couldn't suddenly become the understanding snugglebuddy that Blaine was.

Kurt took Bas's hand and looked out the window. How could he take care of Bas when he could barely deal with his own life? He was already drowning in commitments and not sleeping enough. But it was Bas. How could he not go the extra mile for him?

"What's the drama at Dalton?" Kurt asked, buying time.

"Hunter was forcing the Warblers to take testosterone and dance like gymnasts."

Kurt's jaw dropped. "What?! How could the school allow that?"

"You know what Dalton's like. He kept it quiet, until a couple of New Directions guys got a certain fatty to flip on them..." Bas stopped, wanting to slap himself. All the articles he'd read said don't bring up weight. Kurt rolled his eyes again.

"I wish you wouldn't call Trent that. He's such a sweet boy. Which New Directions guys?"

"Blaine and Sam."

"Ohmygod, why didn't he tell me?!"

Bas clutched Kurt's hand. "He didn't want to worry you. We know how busy you are, and we thought we knew how stressed you were. Obviously we underestimated it, though."

Kurt huffed and started ticking off items on his fingers. "School, Vogue, Pamela Lansbury, work, dealing with Santana showing up, Dad's cancer, taking care of Rachel... Yeah, I'm a little stressed."

"Well, I'm here to act as stress relief. See if you can cancel something tonight because I wanna see you."

Kurt shook his head. He'd never consider bailing on a band rehearsal normally, but the chance to spend time with one of his boyfriends was too good to pass up. He texted Elliott and Dani, then turned back to Bas.

"I've got to get a little homework done, then I'm all yours. I'll head back to the loft. You have something to eat, and I'll meet you there, okay?"

Bas's eyes narrowed. He wondered if Kurt even realized that he was dodging a meal. Unwilling to make a scene in the cafe, Sebastian agreed and watched Kurt leave. His skinny jeans were belted and sagged a little. Good god he was thin.

Back at the apartment, the boys talked and hung out, and Bas was his usual handsy self. Kurt dodged a lot of his groping, but eventually succumbed to the lure of kisses. Bas was warm and strong in his arms, and Kurt let himself relax just a little.

Having the loft to themselves, they made out on the couch. Kurt allowed Bas to take off a couple of the layers he wore, but stopped him before he got to skin. With a frustrated growl, Bas pinned him and laid on top, grinding his erection into Kurt's crotch, kissing him and working Kurt's neck in ways that usually drove him crazy.

But Sebastian slowed down and stopped when he realized that Kurt wasn't getting hard. "Something wrong?" He asked quietly. Kurt's face burned and he pushed Bas off of him, straightening his hair and tugging his sleeves down, studiously avoiding looking at his boyfriend. It was horribly humiliating.

"It's not you, Bas. It's just...stress."

Bas stared. "You're nineteen. Stress shouldn't make you impotent. Starving yourself, though..."

"What?! I'm not... Bas, you're being mean."

"When were you last hard, Kurt? Maybe ten or fifteen pounds ago?"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have a problem, except stress!"

"Seriously? You can't get hard and you don't think there's a problem?"

"Sorry to disappoint," Kurt said viciously. "If that's all you're here for..."

"You know it's not! Goddamnit, Kurt! You won't take your clothes off, and I know you remember when I wouldn't take my shirt off and why... You know you're not okay!"

"What the fuck am I supposed to do, then? Everything is moving so fast! None of my friends here support me, no matter how many times I pick them up. Everything is so expensive here, and the competition at school is insane. You and Blaine are all the way back in Ohio and I miss you so I stay busy, but the classes are so hard and I am so tired and I have my internship, and my band and working at the diner-"

"So tell us! Talk to us! Quit lying when we're on the phone. You're more to us, more to me than a piece of ass. You're..." 'Everything', Bas thought but couldn't say it.

"I don't want to worry you," Kurt whispered. His eyes filled with tears. "And every time I think about talking to you about it, it's just so overwhelming. Everything is just so...overwhelming."

Bas hugged him. "Well it's out now, okay? And I'm here. I'm not going anywhere until you agree to get help."

"Help?" Kurt pushed him away. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You have an eating disorder, Kurt."

"No I don't! I'm just stressed, and busy, and..."

"When did you eat last?"

"I...I had... Well, tea today..."

"Do you even put honey or sugar in it?"

"...lemon..."

"Blue Eyes... Please, try to think. Food. When was the last time you had food?"

"Celery! I had celery, um, yesterday... No, the day before, at rehearsal with the band," he said, proud of remembering. Then he recognized what he'd said when tears filled Bas's eyes. He stared.

"When did I stop eating?" Kurt whispered brokenly. Bas grabbed him again and held him as he shuddered. "But... I matter. I know I matter. Dad... I believe him. I know I'm... Bas, what's happening?"

"Shh... I don't know. But it's gonna change. You're gonna be okay."

After a few minutes, Sebastian settled Kurt on the sofa and made them some tea. He laced it liberally with honey, and he found some cookies and brought the package out with him. Kurt recoiled from the bag, and Bas quickly took it back to the kitchen. His hands were shaking when he put two cookies on a napkin and brought them back.

"One for each of us, okay?"

Kurt nodded and gingerly picked one up. He nibbled it and drank the sweet tea. Bas put his arm around Kurt and they snuggled while they ate.

Bas rambled about what was happening at Dalton, and confessed how lonely it was for him there among the lesser people, whose faults he layed out over the next half hour until Kurt was laughing and relaxed.

"Let's watch some tv, okay?" Kurt suggested. Bas agreed, and they cuddled through a couple of episodes of sitcoms, then went to bed.

Kurt tried to stay far over on one side of the mattress. He only wore one layer of pajamas and worried about Bas's reaction. While he'd changed his clothes he'd looked at himself for the first time in ages and had been shocked at how his ribs stood out.

Bas wasn't having it. He tugged Kurt toward the center of the bed.

"No, Bas, I-"

"Shh. I know how skinny you are. I know we're not gonna have sex. But I've been alone since New Years and I want to hold my boyfriend, okay?"

Kurt bit his lip. "I'm sorry my insecurities keep you and Blaine from spending nights together," he said in a miserable tone.

"Blue Eyes, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm trying to be close to you. I missed you, you stubborn bitch. Get over here."

Kurt laughed in spite of himself and scooted over. Bas drew him close and kissed him.

"Can I ask you about something you said earlier?" Bas asked.

"Of course, honey," Kurt said, feeling warm and affectionately fuzzy headed.

"You said something about your dad and that you matter..."

"Oh. Yeah. When he gave me the sex talk, he said I shouldn't throw myself around because I matter." He was quiet for a minute. "I think that was the most profound thing he'd said to me in a while. It hit me hard, really made me think. When things get rough and I consider giving up, I think about that. I matter. I don't know how things got so..."

Bas's breath came short. "I... I wish someone had told me that when I got the sex talk. Mine was all about safe sex and condoms and shit."

"Oh my sweet Bas... You do. You matter inherently and you matter to me and to Blaine. Please tell me you know that."

"I... I'm working on it," Bas whispered. "But I'm glad you had that. That you have that."

Kurt kissed him, trying to show Bas how sincere he was, trying to make him understand how much he meant to Kurt and how grateful Kurt was that he was there.

Bas lost himself in the embrace and the emotional reassurance that Kurt was giving him. It made him more and more determined to do everything he could to get Kurt healthy, and they fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

~~Glee~~

The next morning, Bas made breakfast. He tried to be somewhat quiet, but figured that if Santana chose to live on Kurt and Rachel's couch, she could just suck it up. When Kurt had finished in the bathroom and came out to gather his things to leave, Sebastian stopped him.

"This is one egg, scrambled. Please eat it. There's some fruit, too, but only if you eat the egg."

"I usually just have coffee, Bas," Kurt protested. But Bas's bitchface was unmoved. Kurt stared at the tiny plate with just a few mouthfuls of food on it. It looked foreign somehow, but recalling how he'd felt so safe and peaceful the night before, he decided to do what Bas asked. Kurt took the fork and slowly ate the egg, then two strawberries and three grapes. Bas handed him a travel mug of coffee.

"Skim milk and one sugar," Sebastian said. Kurt sighed and nodded. "When do you have a midday break?"

"After voice before Vogue. One o'clock."

"I'll meet you in Times Square and we'll have lunch."

Kurt's expression was wary, and Bas stroked his cheek. He had to get through to Kurt. "I'm not going to push hard, but I am going to push. Breakfast was okay, right? Lunch will be, too. Probably a salad with some chicken or something, yeah?"

Kurt reluctantly nodded and kissed Bas's cheek before he left. He felt strangely lethargic as his stomach dealt with the meal, but he walked determinedly to the subway and rode it stoically.

~~Glee~~

"You're surprisingly good for him, Legolas," Santana said from the sofa, after Kurt left and Bas stood drinking his coffee and pondering how else he could help Kurt.

Bas stiffened and began cleaning up. "I'm his boyfriend. I should be good for him."

"Huh. I never would have expected you to be all sunshine and rainbows about a relationship. Is Frodo rubbing off on you?"

"With some regularity," Bas deadpanned.

"Oh, ew! That's not what I meant and you know it, elf boy," Santana snapped. She paused. "You really have changed, haven't you?"

Sebastian sighed. "Yeah, I have. I thought I made that clear last year when I apologized."

"Pish. I apologize all the time without meaning it. Actions are where the truth lies, not pithy words," she said. "I'm glad you're here. Browbeating him to try to make him eat that awful greasy food at the diner wasn't working."

Bas turned around, surprised. "You tried to help him?"

"I may tease him like a bad sixties beehive, but he is my friend. We're queen bitches together, and if we don't watch out for each other, we get knives in our backs."

Sebastian stared at her.

"Thank you," he said softly. He'd never expected the mean girl to be an asset.

"Whatever. I just think we both know a few meals forced down his pencil neck isn't going to be enough. He needs professional help."

Santana headed for the bathroom, announcing she intended to use every drop of hot water.

Sebastian pulled out his tablet and started researching therapists and making calls. He'd have to find the right doctor who would be okay with Kurt's homosexuality and polyamory, as well as being an expert in teenage stress and eating disorders. He was pretty sure Kurt wasn't starving himself to look good based on a warped sense of his body image, but he definitely had issues with food.

Lunch went acceptably well. Kurt ate a bowl of vegetable soup with some parmesan cheese on it, and drank more tea with honey. Bas walked him to the Condé Nast building and then went for a long walk before he headed back to Bushwick.

Rachel was home when he returned late in the afternoon, and he decided to do his best to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Hey, Rachel? Can I ask why you didn't tell Blaine how bad things were getting for Kurt?"

"Excuse me? You of all people do not get to question my friendship with Kurt!" She snapped.

"I'm just saying, if I had been in your place, I think I would have noticed he looked too thin and wasn't eating before he fucking collapsed," Bas sneered back.

"I would have you know that I care more than you will ever understand about Kurt Hummel and I happen to understand how the stress we are under, and the pressure, could cause him to worry about how he looks enough to watch what he eats."

"Watch what he eats? He stopped eating at all you stupid bitch!" His voice rose as his anger got the better of him.

"I will not stand here and be called names by the unscrupulous villain who nearly blinded Blaine and blackmailed me!" She shouted, then whirled and stomped over to her curtained off bedroom.

Bas rubbed his face. He had intended it to be an honest discussion, not a screaming match, but he didn't feel bad about what he'd said. He just hoped it didn't cause Kurt any problems with the high strung girl.

Bas ordered pizza with a couple of side salads for dinner, and didn't comment when Kurt blotted the grease off the one narrow slice that he ate while he studied.

The band came over that evening and rehearsed. Sebastian and Elliott eyed each other after their introduction, but didn't have the chance to talk.

They worked on Open Your Heart, arguing good-naturedly about how blatant to make the sexual innuendo. Bas listened to Kurt's smooth voice and enjoyed how well they blended in harmony.

"If we could get a secure pole on stage, then yes, I think you could dance that way, Kurt, but without the pole, if you grind on Elliott like that, it just looks trashy," Dani argued as they worked on choreography.

"I don't mind it, but she's probably right," Elliott said, and Kurt pouted as he conceded.

"Don't worry, Blue Eyes, I'll let you grind on me anytime you want," Bas called from the couch. Dani laughed as Kurt blushed even while he stomped his foot in mock outrage.

"I think this will be ready for the gig on the 12th if we can get together a couple more times," Elliott said as they broke up. "Sunday night, then Thursday, right?"

"I got scheduled for a shift at the diner on Thursday," Dani said. "How about Friday?"

"Yes, we know you like to keep Friday open for dates, El, but if that's all we've got..." Kurt said, heading off an obviously old protest.

"Take out's on me for both those rehearsals, guys," Bas chimed in, waving some cash. "Who'll make sure that happens?"

"I'd trust Dani with it," Santana said as she came in. "Glitter-rock will use the cash for guy-liner."

Bas split the money and handed half each to Dani and Elliott. "Just make sure it's something Kurt will actually deign to consume, okay? If there's not vegetables in it, I'm sure he'll just pass."

"I am right here, Bas!" Kurt protested.

The tall boy went to him and put an arm around him. "Yep, I'm quite aware, babe."

"So you don't need to talk about me as if I'm not, damnit."

"It's sweet how he wants to take care of you, Kurt. Just let him," Dani advised.

"Was nice to meet you, Bas," Elliott called as he left. Dani and Santana took over the sofa, and Kurt claimed he needed to get back to his homework.

A couple hours later, Bas got Kurt to eat a yogurt before they went to bed.

"I'm glad you're here," Kurt whispered before he fell asleep. Bas held tight and agreed, but lay awake planning a trip to the grocery store the next day.

Finding a doctor and negotiating for an urgent first visit for Kurt took up a good portion of Bas's morning. He'd gotten Kurt to eat a piece of toast with butter and low-sugar jam on it for breakfast, and he met him on campus for a quick lunch of salad in the cafeteria. The sprinkling of cheese and a few olives were Kurt's concession to Bas's insistence that he get some fat and protein.

That afternoon was Bas's chance to stock the loft with small-serving, healthy foods, and he hit several bodegas and boutique-type health food shops on his way.

Labeling them all with Kurt's name gave him hope that at least Santana might leave them for him, and made Bas feel like his caretaking might actually help and last beyond his return to Ohio. When he and Rachel were in the loft together, they studiously avoided each other.

On the third day, Sebastian finally told Kurt about the doctor he wanted him to see, and all hell broke loose in a screaming match that had a neighbor knocking on the door to make sure they were okay. They quieted down after that, but the fight continued.

"You're not my father!" Kurt finally hissed. Bas recoiled slightly.

"No, but I will tell him if you don't get help," he finally replied.

"You don't even like my dad."

"Not fond of fathers in general, but for you, I'd do anything, Kurt. I'm that worried; that scared."

Kurt dropped to the sofa. "Bas..." He sighed. "Really? You're Sebastian Smythe. You don't get attached. You smile and shrug everything off. I know you're fond of Blaine and me, but you're more fond of the sex we all have. At least that's what you've always said."

Bas just looked at him. He couldn't say the words, might never be able to, but he could wait and let Kurt figure it out.

All Kurt's anger drained away. Bas cared about him, way more than he ever let on. And if Kurt was honest with himself, he knew he needed help. He didn't want his dad involved. He wanted to take care of this problem and get better as soon as possible. He reached out and took Sebastian's hand and led him to the couch, then he curled up on his lap and closed his eyes.

"I'll see the doctor you found," he said softly.

Bas slumped, cradling Kurt, so relieved he felt like he might cry.

"I'm glad, Blue Eyes. Very glad."

Kurt fell asleep shortly after that, and later still, Bas carried him to bed and held him through the night.

Sebastian stayed three more days, until after Kurt's first appointment, which Bas had paid triple for to get his boyfriend in so quickly. Kurt was still barely eating enough calories to maintain his current weight, but at least he was eating three times a day. Bas observed which of the convenience foods Kurt ate and shopped for more of those styles. He completely ignored the exorbitant prices, happy to spend the money if it meant Kurt would eat.

Kurt didn't want to discuss the appointment, but the doctor had convinced him that he needed to drop something from his schedule, and the only thing Kurt could bear to sacrifice was his job at the diner. Unfortunately, that meant he needed financial help, and since he couldn't bring himself to ask his father for money, he decided to talk with Bas about it.

"I couldn't imagine quitting Vogue or the band, but that only leaves the diner, and I can't afford to quit working-" Kurt confessed hesitantly, his face hot with shame.

Bas pulled out his wallet and handed Kurt his debit card, telling him the pin several times until Kurt knew it.

"I'll get you one with your name on it, but until then, just pull cash whenever you need it," Bas said. Kurt's face burned with a slew of emotions, and Bas pulled him close. "I got full access to my trust fund when I turned eighteen. I will be paying outright for my tuition to Columbia in the fall, understand? And I won't be staying in a dorm. I'm set, so just use that for whatever you need."

"It's hard to... Bas, I intend to keep track of every penny and pay you back-" Kurt tried to say.

"Don't. That'll stress us both out. As soon as you're better, I'll let you work it off with sex, okay?"

Kurt burst out laughing.

A/N I tried to make it clear that Kurt is not dealing with anorexia in this. Please just bear with me on the portrayal because he's got other underlying problems that cause him not to eat.

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