Thank you for reading this fic, in the light or in the shadow.
Hope you gonna like this chapter.
Black horse, part I
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They were all gathered around the breakfast table when Balty made an entrance, dressed in a plain white singlet and black skin-thight shorts, waving his mobile phone over his head.
« Gooooood neeeews my beloved family! » The kids were looking at him in amusement.
« Balty, please! » Castiel sighed, observing his companion's outfit in detail.
« What are you looking at ? At least this one isn't fuchsia » Balty replied looking down at his shorts.
« Sit down and eat your breakfast, smart ass » Castiel retorted, pulling out a chair for him.
« Get this, I've got a huge surprise for you, guys»
« Why do I suddenly fear the worst ? » Dean sighed, grabbing his coffee cup.
« Don't be such a party-pooper… I'm sure the kids are gonna love this.» He said, winking at them.
« They love everything you do, anyway » Castiel answered, as he stood up to pour him some coffee.
« Obviously… I'm the one and only Balty! » he claimed, pointing his mobile at his own chest. Jewel couldn't help laughing.
« All right now… Why don't you tell us what this is all about, so we can finish our breakfast in peace, Mr Unique » Dean grumbled.
« Hey, would you listen to this, Mr Bad Temper ! I can't figure out how you can stand this all day long» Balty asked Castiel, who put the cup in front of him and sat down again.
« Thanks, Babe » he smiled at him.
He took a sip and saw they were all staring at him, in expectation.
« So, what's the good news ? » Jewel asked, tired of the long silence.
Balty put his cup back on the table. His smiled faded somehow as he looked at Castiel and Dean.
« We all know that the last few weeks have been a little rough… well… »
Dean looked down… Castiel put butter on his toasted bread without a word.
« So I thought there was the perfect moment for your guys to take your mind off things »
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Dean frowned.
« What are you up to this time ? »
« Why are you being so aggressive ? » Balty pretended to be offended. " I just wanted to offer you the opportunity to have the time of your life… to help you… » He sighed
« To help you get … reunited somehow. »
« We were never apart.» Castiel whispered, looking at him, his eyes filled with so much tenderness...
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He knew that Balty had been overwhelmed by the recent events : and if Castiel considered it was all over for him, it wasn't the case for the others around the table.
Balty had suffered more than he would admit to feel so helpless when Castiel was in pain.
Dean felt it had been the worst hardship he had gone through since Tessa's death.
For the kids, it sounded like something beyond comprehension... In their eyes, Castiel was their friend, their everyday companion, a true member of the family the assault had shocked them more than they could tell because they didn't understand why being Balty's lover was a bad thing... They didn't understand why loving a man could be bad, all in all… They had witnessed this relation for years and they had always found it normal...
The assault had brought up many questions, yet it hadn't changed the way they loved Castiel, quite the opposite the ordeal had almost destroyed their family, but today they were closer than ever.
Whatever other people might think, they were happy together and no one, nothing would ever change that...
Chadwick and Jewel had made a promise to stick to just that when they came back from Bobby's.
Castiel would never leave… He would never suffer again… They would see to it.
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« So… are you done keeping us in the dark or what ?» Dean was getting impatient. « In about an hour, I gotta drive the kids. »
« You're definitely not an early bird, are you? » Balty sighed, rolling his eyes. « All right… I'm not gonna keep you waiting any longer… » he turned to the kids, less certain it would please Dean and above all, Castiel.
« As you know, in three weeks, you're gonna have several days off and you've deserved them for sure… » he started with a wink. « How would you like to spend a few days in a real ranch? »
« A ranch ? » Chadwick said real loud, then suddenly his face lightened up. « You mean, for real, with horses ? »
« Yeah... For real, with real cowboys in sexy skin-tight pants »
« Balty, you can skip the details » Dean corrected. « You could have at least talked to me about this before spreading the news. » he went on, unable to hide a slight irritation.
« That's what I'm doing right now, isn't it ? » Balty answered, with a fake expression of surprise. « I just got the confirmation… I needed to be sure before making a promise I couldn't keep, don't you agree? »
« Obviously ! I think you wanted to present this as a done deal !»
« Of course not...» he said, raising an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.
« Balty » Dean was staring daggers at him.
« Anyway, I need to give an official confirmation today… It's up to you, guys… But I think that'll do you good… A family week-end, far from the usual buzz » he finished his sentence in a sigh, looking down.
« A ranch » Castiel's face was pale. « With horses ? »
« Of course, can you imagine a ranch without horses? » Balty started to laugh.
« But... » Castiel's face was even more pale.
« Yeah, I know, Babe, but you need to move on » his tone had changed and Castiel understood the allusion, as did Dean, or so he thought he had.
As for the children, they were really excited.
« Oh Dad, please say yes… Please… pretty please » Chadwick was begging. « We haven't had a break since… since Mom's gone » he went on, lowering his voice.
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Dean was about to retort, but realized they hadn't been on holidays for years, except a few days of camping, which didn't really count as holidays...
Balty was right of course, they needed to step back. Even if life had resumed its natural course, even if Castiel's wounds had healed, even if they had found their good old friend back, Dean felt there were still traces after several weeks, even if Castiel hadn't spoken about it since his last talk at Bobby's.
« Cass ? »
« What ? » his eyes made intense contact with Dean's.
« Chad's right, ya know. Could be good for us all, don't you think ? »
« I.. » he looked down. « As you wish » he finally granted.
« No, Cass » Dean said, leaning towards him. « We are a family, we take decisions as a family, all together… If you don't wanna go, so be it… Period »
« No, that's fine... Balty's right, it could be good for us all » he said, granting Dean a genuine smile.
They remained staring at each other for a short while, which seemed like an eternity to the others.
« Would you two like to be alone ? » Balty finally said.
« Let's go to that ranch» Dean approved, looking away from his friend, who felt a bit lost.
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The children were so excited that they asked a million questions to Balty, although he couldn't answer each one of them.
« Listen, my little angels, the only times I went there, I wasn't actually offered a guided tour of the place, OK ? »
« Balty ! » Dean scolded, to prevent him from telling anything more in front of his kids.
« So what? That's the truth… I was riding a different kind of horse… And I can guarantee that it was worth all the rodeos in the world » he said, with a blissful smile, his head resting on his hands, elbows on the table.
« BALTY ! » Dean was really mad at him now, even if the others were laughing out loud.
« I haven't said anything wrong.» Balty said, falsely offended. « You're the one with a twisted mind » He said, frowning.
One look at Castiel and he changed the subject.
« So, may I tell my friend that it's a done deal ? »
« Daddyyyyy... Please say yes» Jewel was now begging too.
« Cass ? »
The latter nodded his approval.
« All right, it's settled then… You now need to tell me how much this is gonna cost us » Dean sighed.
« Nada » Balty answered. « I'm an excellent rider…. » he added, with a mischievous glance.
« You'll just have to pack the proper outfit, to resemble cowboys… and cowgirls of course » he added, looking at Jewel.
« OK, kids, we'll talk about this later… For now, go pack your things, you're gonna be late for your dance class »
The children thanked Balty enthusiastically and ran out of the kitchen.
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Balty turned to Dean and looked down.
« You're mad at me, aren't you ? I know I tricked you in front of the kids… I should have talked to you before, but when Byron made me that offer this morning, I admit I got a bit carried away»
Dean stared at him, sipping his coffee, feeling Castiel's eyes on him.
« Why would I be mad at you, Balty? I can't find a way to thank you for all you've done for our family lately… Of course, you're a great guy with the manners of a true sex maniac most of the time, but this family wouldn't be what it is without you » he added as Balty's blue eyes met his.
« Than... Thank you » Balty suddenly mumbled. He stood up, obviously moved by Dean's words.
« Yet I should be the one to thank you for letting me be part of your family in the first place. »
Dean smiled, stood up and started to clean the table. He stored the butter and the milk back in the fridge.
« Gotta go… See you tonight ? » Balty said, giving Castiel a furtive kiss on the lips.
« I'll be waiting for you » Castiel said as he stood up too.
« I'll keep you posted as soon as I get news from the ranch » Balty prepared to leave.
« Balty ? » Dean turned around and called him.
« Yes ? »
« Thanks. »
« You're welcome, sweetheart» he said, picking up his phone and walking out the kitchen.
« You sure drew the lucky number with this guy » Dean said to Castiel.
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Later in the evening that same day, Balty told them their reservation had been confirmed at the «Black Horse » ranch for the next holidays.
He also said he wouldn't join them there...
« Bryan invited me to travel on the Pacific Coast Highway with him... I'm not sure we'll see a lot of it, but anyway… I've always dreamed of seeing it, so I jumped at the opportunity… No pun intended » he added at once, as he saw Dean's angry look.
Castiel suspected Balty had planned everything in advance even though the latter denied, claiming it was Bryan's idea and that he had nothing to do with it.
« His brother will take care of you… You'll see… Garth is a great guy »
« Garth ? » Dean made a face. « What kind of a stupid name is that?» He sounded a bit doubtful.
« Don't be so negative, sweetheart, you're gonna love him, he's an angel and he's gonna take so good care of you »
« Oh Lord… have mercy on us all » Dean said, raising his eyes and walking out the living room.
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Castiel stared at Balty.
« What ? Does my nose bleed or something ? » he asked, checking with the tip of his fingers, just in case, pretending to be panicked.
«Thanks, Balty » Castiel said, gently putting the palm of his hand on his friend's cheek.
« You're welcome » his face was serious again. « I only want what's best for you, you know that, right ? »
« Yes, I know, but would you stop doing this ?» he answered, looking down, but keeping his hand on his face.
« Goddammit, Babe, it's so obvious... Why are you doing this to yourself ? » he was a bit dismayed.
« Because it's Dean» Castiel replied with a faint smile. « ... and he'll never cross that line, because he doesn't even think about it… he doesn't love me, Balty, don't you understand ? » he went on, absent-mindedly caressing his cheek with his thumb.
«But I'll be all right. As long as I can stay with them… with him... »
« It'd be so… » Balty sighed, putting his hand on Castiel's, and never finished his sentence.
The words were useless between them.
« I know what you mean, but I've learned to live with it for the last ten years » he pulled him closer and kissed him tenderly.
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Dean came back to the kitchen, holding a beer and saw them… He wished he'd been able to turn away but instead, he remained still and watched them kiss, and for the first time since he knew Castiel and Balty, he didn't feel embarrassed nor uncomfortable.
« Hey, look who loves a good peep show ? » Balty stared at Dean.
« I… I was… I mean…» Dean was stammering. « I was just thinking… » he replied, almost aggressively, blaming himself for being caught in the act.
« What is it ? » Balty said, pulling away from Castiel who felt embarrassed too.
« There is a slight problem… The kids don't know how to ride horses» Dean bluntly uttered.
« So what ? They'll learn » Balty smiled a mischievous smile, persuaded Dean had just found an excuse for his untimely arrival.
« You know it's a ranch, right ? And Cassie will be delighted to teach them»
« Cass ? ... I didn't know you could ride. » Dean couldn't hide his surprise as he looked away from Balty. « You never told me ! »
« That was a long time ago.. in another lifetime » Castiel whispered, staring at his feet.
Balty suddenly felt uneasy. Dean's eyes went from one to the other.
« Did I miss the boat ? »
« Actually, you missed the whole fleet, honey » Balty retorted with a wicked smile.
« Cassie went horse-riding for more than two years… anyway, it's not as if he had... »
« BALTY ! » Castiel shouted. He was furious.
« Sorry » Balty's voice was nothing more than a whisper.
« It just came out... I'd better go upstairs… I've said too much already.»
« Yeah, why don't you do that?» Castiel was really angry. Dean had never seen that kind of reaction and just stood there, open-mouthed.
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Castiel looked at Balty as he left without a word, feeling Dean's eyes on him.
« Don't ask. I don't wanna talk about it. » He said in a gentle yet firm tone.
« I'm not asking anything, Cass. »
« I'll teach the children how to ride… It's been more than ten years but I guess it's like the bicycle, once you've learned… » he tried to sound amused, but it didn't sound right.
« Yeah, I … I guess so… » Dean still felt a bit perplexed by Castiel's reaction towards Balty.
« Besides, the kids aren't the only ones who need to learn » Dean added, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly feeling embarrassed.
«I thought you knew how to ride horses ».
« Sort of… I was six… and they weren't really horses anyway.»
«I see. » Castiel's smile was now a bit ironic.
« Don't fuck with me, OK ? » he said pointing his finger at him. « I was just a little boy and they looked very big to me back then » He was just trying to find an excuse.
« Shetland ponies, I suppose ? » Castiel tried to make a guess, with a genuine smile this time.
« Go ahead, have fun. »
« It'll be my pleasure. »
« What? » Dean raised an eyebrow.
« I'll be pleased to teach you how to ride» he smiled, as Dean had been reacting to his previous remark.
« Oh, yeah, great. We now need to find all what's necessary. I don't know what kind of equipment we're gonna need» he said, feeling nervous and rubbing his cheek.
«Good pants and good boots and that's it.»
« I've always dreamed of wearing a real cowboy hat » Dean was smiling a blissful smile.
« We'll surely find one for you, John Wyne »
« John Wayne... » Dean held his nose, feeling outraged.
« It's been ten years and you still don't know how to pronounce his name. You're hopeless»
« My apologies… I've always had trouble with this kind of references.»
Dean watched him go upstairs... He remembered the dark look on his face when Balty had mentioned his past horse-riding classes… He hadn't practiced for ten years, but it was easy to guess that it was related to the period he was living in New York and consequently, the years he was living with that companion he had always refused to talk about.
All Dean knew about this relationship was that Castiel was to one to end it.
Dean had tried to raise the subject several times but Castiel always terminated the conversation. Eventually Dean had given up for good...
He walked to the couch, sighed, looked at his DVD collection and smiled.
« What about watching a good "Rio Bravo", huh? » he asked Apache, rubbing his hands in anticipated joy.
One beer and two hours later, he was fast asleep on the couch, snoring like a baby, the dog sleeping at his feet.
He dreamed of rides through the great plains of the Wild West, of saloons and gunshots...
And of Castiel, pushing his Stetson up his forehead, his face getting extremely close to his own.
« Dammit ! » he woke up with a start and almost spilled the rest of his beer. Apache jumped on his feet and sighed.
Dean rubbed his face vigorously and started to laugh.
« That's what I get for playing peeping Tom » as he remembered the kiss between Castiel and Balty.
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The next holidays became their favorite subject in the days that follow.
Bobby gave them the address of a shop downtown they visited the very next Saturday.
Dean parked the Impala in front of a saloon shop window; he was glowing... like a kid standing outside a candy store.
He was the first to go in and almost bumped into a fake horse with all the proper equipment on it.
« Oh My ! Would you look at that, kids ?» he pointed at the horse and granted them a big smile.
« Dean... How old are you, man ? » Castiel teased him.
« Dunno... I feel like a kid again in here and I don't give a damn » He disappeared in the back shop.
« Castiel... » Jewel pulled his sleeve. « Will my horse be as big as this one ? » she looked a bit scared by the wooden replica in front of her.
« No, Sweetie, you'll be given a smaller one. This one is for Daddy » he gave her a half-smile, as he imagined Dean riding a big horse...
« ...if he manages to remain on the saddle » he added.
« I heard you ! » Dean retorted as he emerged from a hanging wardrobe.
« Wow Pa'... Look at these boots ! » Chadwick was in awe in front of a pair of Sanchos.
« Er… Chad... 250 dollars... I know you mean well, but ... »
« I'll promise I'll wear 'em all the time » he said in a begging tone .
«I can suggest another pair, just like these ones, at a lower price, if you're interested, young man»
They all turned around and observed the man standing in front of them: he was wearing a complete Buffalo Bill outfit.
Dean's eyes were shining... The man was even wearing the same mustache and white goatee as the historical hero...
« May I suggest these superb Kentucky boots ? » he said, pointing at a pair of brown boots.
« They are hand-stitched. If you take care of them and of course, if you don't grow too fast…» he paused and smiled « ...You'll keep them for several years »
His Texan accent sounded very convincing.
« And how much do these beauties cost? » Dean inquired.
« 150 dollars »
« They are soooo beautiful... May I, Dad ? »
« Cass ? »
« They look durable... He could wear them throughout the winter season.»
« Yeah, right... Chad, try them on first. »
« Great… Thanks, Dad »
« What about me ? » Jewel started to whine as she thought all the boots in the shops would be too big for her.
« For the little lady, I have something perfect » the man, looking through his merchandise. «The sizes are indicated on the boxes... Help yourself, Son » he said as he walked away followed by Jewel and Castiel.
« Would you mind if I buy the same model for me ? » Dean asked to his son.
Chadwick looked at him, a bit surprised, and smiled.
« That'd be cool. »
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« So ? What do you think ? » showing a pair of blue fringe boots.
Jewel turned to Castiel and hesitated when she saw his face.
« Don't you like them ? »
« Honestly? No » he said, raising an eyebrow.
The man crouched down and searched deep down in the shelves.
« What about these, young lady... »
« Oooooh! » she reached for them, greedily.
She started to play with the leather black fringe.
She looked up at Castiel and saw the smile on his face.
« How much for these? »
« 90 dollars, as the little lady has small feet » he said, tenderly tapping her cheek, which made her laugh.
« DEAN ?! »
The latter walked – or seemed to stagger –towards him.
« Are you OK ? » Castiel was worried now.
« Sure ! Why d'you ask ? » Dean was faking surprise.
« You don't look like you can… » he broke off when he saw the boots Dean was wearing.
« Never mind... Forget it» he let out a wry smile.
« Would you be razzing me, by any chance? »
« I wouldn't dare »
« I just need to get used to them» Dean seemed offended.
« Yes… no… absolutely » he shared a friendly glance with the shop owner.
« SHIT » He turned away, trying to contain his anger.
« Dad, what about my boots ? » Jewel shouted.
« They are beautiful... » he grumbled.
« But you didn't look at them! »
« I did… They are very pretty» he sat on a stool and tried to take off his boots.
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« Shit ! ... » he tried to take off his boot, without success. « CASS? »
« Have I heard the sound of your sweet voice calling me ? » Castiel said as he walked towards him.
« C'mon, gimme a break ! » he dropped his foot on the floor and observed his son who was walking with the same model, yet the boy didn't seem to suffer at all.
« Help me get out of these instruments of torture or I'm gonna cut them up »
Castiel was laughing...
«Of course. Gimme your foot» He grabbed his leg, stretched it and blocked it between his knees, with his back to Dean.
« Hang on and push with your other foot on my back».
« What ? » Dean wasn't sure he heard it right.
« Use me as a lever… push me forward»
« Dammit, Cass... »
« Stop whining and push... Think of John What's-is-name »
« Wayne...John Wayne...For Christ's sake, Cass » he pushed as hard as he could.
« CAAAASS...»
He started to lose his balance and inevitably fell on his butt.
One snap. Castiel turned around. He was all smiles.
« One more to go! »
« Would you happen to have a model with a side opening? » . Dean's face was all red with shame and anger. The seller was smiling.
« I suppose I'll find what you're looking for... John Wayne » Now he was laughing too.
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Castiel still had his old boots at home. They all headed to the hats department...
« They are splendid » Dean observed them real close but refrained from touching.
« This one would suit you very well » The seller gave him a black « Batson » Stetson.
Dean turned a bit pale: it was the same hat as the one he was wearing in his weird dream the night before.
« Er… no thanks. I'd prefer a brown one » he stammered.
« I've got a beautiful Hackberry you'll like for sure »
He gave him a dark brown Stetson.
« That's so awesome !» Chadwick shout out
« Really ? » Dean said, adjusting the hat on his head.
« Daddy, you look very handsome » Jewel was smiling.
« What do you think ? » he asked Castiel who was observing him, folding his arms across his chest.
« You look like a real cow-boy... Suits you real nice » He took upon himself to smile, although he felt a twinge of regret.
« Kids, do you also want one of these ? »
« No... I'd prefer that shirt over there » Chadwick replied showing the one he had selected : a black shirt with white shoulder patch.
« This young man has good taste »
« This young man isn't managing the budget » Dean immediately snapped back.
« It'll cost you less than buying him a hat » the seller replied at once, turning his back on him.
« Gotcha ! » Castiel whispered.
« Quit that !... » Dean was angry.
"Aren't you buying anything? " He asked Castiel, as they both leaned their back against the counter while Chadwick was trying the shirt on ...
"I have everything I need."
"You've kept everything? "Dean said timidly, avoiding his gaze.
"No ... Just the boots and the bad memories", rising and walking towards Chadwick, cutting Dean's attempt to find out more.
"You look like an authentic cowboy."
" For real ? " Chadwick was all smiles.
"The girls will love it"
"He doesn't care ... He only loves that Lindsay" Jewel smiled.
"Jewel!" he rolled his eyes at her.
"So what, it's the truth ..." she looked daggers at her brother.
"Now, Casanova, go on and change so that we can pay for it all" Dean ruffled his hair, pushing him towards the changing room.
"How much for all this?" he looked quite dismayed as he turned to the seller.
"A lot," the latter laughed.
"Look, to sugar the pill, I offer one of these to each one of you. Just pick one. It's on the house ..." he took a box out from under his desk; it was filled with bandanas.
"Help yourself." as he started to prepare the bill.
"It's very generous of you" Dean was laughing.
Eventually, a few items were added on the list: a blue vest to put on top of a shirt for Jewel and a black leather belt for Castiel ...
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www
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Dean put the kids to bed and joined Castiel in the living room. The latter was pensive, sitting on the couch..
« You want some beer ? »
« No, I'm fine... I'm going to bed. I'm exhausted. »
« Cass ? »
« Yes ? » he was already standing.
« No... Nothing... Good night »
« Night, Dean... See you tomorrow ? »
« Yeah, see you tomorrow » he smiled at him.
He took a beer, leaned on the sink and started to pet Apache, standing at his feet.
Why did he feel so curious about his friend's past, all of a sudden ? Why did he feel something had changed down deep inside, since the aggression?
He took a sip of his beer. The dog was staring at him.
« You wanna go for a walk ? » He put his beer on the counter.
The morning after, a young woman tumbled in the garage, with greasy hands and a haggard face. Her car had just failed... Her eyes met Dean's. She smiled. He smiled back.
Her name was Lisa Braeden...
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End of the chapter
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See you in two weeks if you wish
love you.