.~*Chapter Nine*~.
He glanced around, spotting people he had gotten to know in the hospital, but didn't stop to talk to them. As they neared their destination, he began to wonder if he was doing the right thing. He knew that the twins could go nowhere else - not with their crystal-ly fur - but what would the others say? "Jade?"
"What's up?" Jade asked.
"I know they'll have to accept them, but... do you think they really will?" He frowned. "Do you think any of them will be able to see the crystals? At least they don't change colors, right?"
Jade frowned, looking thoughtful. While she hoped the twins would be accepted, she wasn't sure, given all that had happened their history. It was going to be a hard road, that's for sure. But what to do about it? She wasn't sure. She could use her authority to make them accept the twins, but that wouldn't be true acceptance at all. No, they'd have to come to terms with it on their own. She'd just... have to force it a little.
"I know that it's enough of a pain for me... No one knows what to do with me. At least you're, uh, dragonness is better hidden, huh? Unless you've set Ted on fire by breathing on him?"
Jade laughed. "No, that's not happened, thankfully."
"Good. Say, do any of them know that I wasn't... ya know, me?"
"I don't think so. A few had ideas that something was off, but no one came outright and said it." She sighed. It was painfully obvious that Beary hadn't been himself, as he had been addressing each person that visited him as someone else. She wasn't about to tell Beary that, though.
"Oh. Great." Beary wasn't sure what to think of that. How did they not notice? Did they simply not care? "So they thought I was just... broken." He sighed and shook his head. "Oh well. What can ya do?"
"Not broken, per say. They were concerned about your mental state. What happened in that crash... What happened to your parents was devastating to all of us. And you seemingly losing your memory and becoming someone else entirely was just as so." She paused outside the doors to the new ward and moved in front of him, kneeling down. "Kiddo, we were frightened that we had lost you, too. Our very heart. Our soul is injured, too, and she hasn't woken yet."
"Heart and soul?" Beary questioned before smiling a little. "Jewel and me?"
"Yup! You two are the heart and soul of our clan. You've brought us all together. Well, maybe not Zeb and Méngméng, as they knew each other prior to all of this, but as for the rest of us, you're the glue that holds us together."
"You guys are still together now, though... and managed to stay together when we were in Utah. You don't need us."
She put her paws on his shoulders. "We do need you, Beary. You have no idea just how much. You are so greatly loved by all who meet you, with a few exceptions... And, you know? As much as I hate her, she did the right thing in giving you those twins. She knows that you'll love them no matter what, and that we will take them in."
His gaze lowered to his daughters, and he gently stroked their ears. "Yeah... Yeah, I will. They're a part of myself, and... and they can't go anywhere else."
"Right."
He shook his head. "We should get going."
She frowned, but nodded. "All right."
He looked on ahead as they entered the Maternity Ward. "Wow... barely anyone here..." He didn't see Trixie or Tennessee - unaware that they were still bedridden until the end of the month - or Ted - who was with his parents again in Memphis. He did see Fred, though, but not his father - also unaware that he was with his own parents.
And then there was Zeb, pacing slowly outside the door with his crutches - as he'd gotten a bit too energetic and confused and gotten kicked out of the delivery room. He had abandoned his wheelchair in favor of walking unhappily.
Jade blinked, looking at the two bears, and shook her head. "Well... At least he's exercising that way."
Zeb's ears perked when he heard them, but he stayed where he was, wanting back into the room.
Fred, however, wandered over and pulled Jade into a big hug, then went to pick Beary out of his wheelchair for a hug, only to get protested by the teenager, who was holding the basket steady. He frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"
Jade shook her head. "No, Fred, you didn't. He's just..."
Fred looked very confused, and he glanced at Jade, then down at the basket, giving it a small sniff. Wait... Was that...? He reached towards the blanket, but Beary smacked his paw away.
Jade frowned. "Be nice. I have to leave you here with them."
Beary looked at her. "Leave me?!" he squeaked.
"Yeah. Méngméng apparently wanted me in there with her. Not sure why, but..."
He whined a moment, but looked at Fred, lifting the blanket. "You... won't tell?"
"Why would I tell? Wait, what am I not supposed to tel-ooohhh..." Fred looked at the twins in the basket, surprised. "Did ya kidnap em?"
Jade laughed while Fred looked more confused.
"They... They're... mine and..." Beary wasn't sure how to answer who the mother was. Did he start the lie now and hoped it become reality? Or did he tell the truth and get them shunned? Obviously, Jewel hadn't been pregnant during the crash - if she had, she would have lost them. But if they learned they were Esmeralda's... What was he to do?
Sensing the dilemma, Jade came to his aid. "Just tell him the truth, kiddo. There's no point in hiding it. It'll come out sooner or later, and I'd rather have sooner." She put a paw on his head, ruffling his hair. "You also need a haircut."
Beary sighed, but nodded. "Mine and Esmeralda's... She, uh... just dropped them off. Made sure they only knew me, and..."
Fred's jaw dropped and he stared at him, and then at Jade.
The black bear made a face. "Just accept it for what it is, Fred. They are family." Whether we like it or not, she silently added.
"But... Esmeralda... she's not nice," he responded slowly.
"No. She's not."
"And he's... keeping them?"
Beary frowned and pet their heads. "They're mine... I can't give them up. They, uhm, sparkle."
Fred looked at them again, as if just now seeing what Beary had told him. "I can see this..."
"They are cute, special bundles of joy, Fred, and they will be treated as such," Jade stated, as if it wasn't a matter of discussion. She was, after all, still the Alpha Female.
He gulped and nodded. "They got names?"
Beary nodded and introduced his daughters, who were starting to wake. He suddenly covered them. "Jade? What if the next pair of eyes they meet, they attach to, too? Shouldn't it be... Jewel? But... she's still in a coma..." He whined, then thought. "Jade? Will... Will you take her role? I... I don't know if Jewel's gonna wake up..."
"Say what now?" Jade wasn't prepared for that question at all.
"Please? I want them to have a mother, and I don't know if Jewel will accept them when she wakes... Please, Jade? I can't do this alone. You know what it's like to be different, like them and me."
She sighed with a frown. Did Beary not realize that she still did not understand why she was so different? That she was not yet comfortable with this? Hell, even him shifting colors and those cubs' crystally fur freaked her out. "I, uh..." Looking into his hopeful eyes, she knew she had to give in. "Sure."
His ears perked and eyes glistened as he waited for her to come around to the front - Fred taking her place in the back. "Ya gotta pick em up. Sight and... and smell?" He wasn't sure if it was too much to ask.
Jade nodded, kneeling down in front of him. "You better hope I can get back up, mister." She laughed a bit.
He grinned and winked. "Fred'll help you out. Besides, you barely show, so stop whining." He pulled the blanket back slightly and watched as she picked up the white with brown patched cub, Becky... who sneezed on her face.
Scrunching up her nose, Jade grumbled a bit. "Mhm, yep... Beary is definitely your father."
The hazel-eyed cub giggled and licked her nose happily, cooing and mewling, while her sister, Lyra, gave a little bark, wanting attention, too.
The black bear smiled a bit. "You'd think that the crystal would be coarse, but they're soft... It's more like they are natural fur," she marveled, gently petting Becky's face and ears.
He nodded and held up Lyra to her, carefully taking Becky back and setting her down in the basket.
Lyra was more snuggly than her sister, staring into Jade's eyes and smiling a little as she sniffed and nuzzled, pleased as punch to be with her.
Jade smiled. "Aww..."
"I think she likes you," he whispered. "That pale eye, though..."
Fred frowned. "Pale?" He looked at her. "Perhaps she's... blind in one eye? Wait, Jade! You're supposed to be going inside! Shoo, shoo! I got them."
"Oh, shoot! That's right!" Jade passed the cub to Fred. "Here, take care of her. I'll be back."
The teenager laughed and watched her go before settling in with Fred, who brought him a bit closer to where he'd been sitting, and together they watched as Zeb paced.
.~*~.
Jade, once entering the room in a gown and a cloth face mask, was led over to Méngméng by a nurse. She had barely gotten into the room as the nurse had been quite cross she was there until Tasha yelled at her, stating that she was supposed to be there.
"They made Alec leave! B-But you're more level headed and... Don't go... don't leave me..." the she-panda whined, gripping her friend's paw tightly. She was very stressed, both from this new, unexpected labor and from losing her first baby earlier.
Jade rubbed her paw. "I'm not going to leave. Don't you worry."
Méngméng looked at her thankfully, but the expression was taken away when she began to push again. Moments later, there was a new baby cry, and her body began relaxing. There would be no more cubs.
Tasha looked over at Jade, smiling as she took care of the newborn, cleaning it up. "Made it in the nick of time, eh?"
"I'm good like that," Jade laughed.
Méngméng huffed and puffed, trying to catch her breath, ears lifted at the sound of the cries.
Tasha looked over at her and smiled. "It's a girl."
Jade smiled; at least somebody was finally happy.
"A girl...?" Méngméng was both happy and worried. Would Zeb be satisfied with a girl that could not carry on the Seillean stripes? What if he was upset or angry?!
The black bear scowled, spotting the look on her friend's face. "Get that stupid look off your face and be happy, you foolish girl."
Méngméng glanced up at her. Of course Jade wouldn't understand. She had nothing of the sort to worry about. "They are all right?" she asked, looking back to Tasha.
The doctor nodded. "Let us do our initial checks, but they appear to be healthy and strong," she responded with a smile.
Méngméng looked at Jade. "They're okay...?"
Jade nodded. "You've gotten a boy and a girl. Twins."
"Should have been triplets," she murmured, ears folding back.
"That was not your fault, Mysty. It was an accident."
"An accident I should have prevented!"
"From what I understand, the baby was very small anyway. A runt. Underdeveloped and wasn't going to survive anyway."
"How can you know that for sure?"
"Because..."
Méngméng scowled. "You don't know as much as you think you do."
"Oh, shut up and get that stupid look off your face. You have two healthy cubs. Be happy for them."
"Stupid look?" She frowned, then looked over at where her cubs were being examined, and then back at Jade. "What stupid look?" Did Jade know her worries?
Jade rolled her eyes. "That I'm-not-good-enough look you get when you're worried."
"Oh, so you aren't psychic... No, I was worried for another reason, actually..."
"Let me guess – that the cubs aren't good enough? This is America, not China!"
"The boy is, but... the girl can't carry on the stripes gene... And... and the clan is famous for their stripes..." she whispered.
"Who cares? Zoober's not an elitist dumbass! He's going to love them no matter what."
"Yes, but he has a duty to..." She frowned, still worried.
"No, he doesn't? He's not royal."
"Clan chief, Jade. Practically royal over there. Trying to save his clan."
"And yet, he's here in America, and he has been American for how long?"
"You realize that at some point he wants to go back..." She frowned. Could he start his new clan here in America?
Jade scowled. "You and your 'everything has to be just so damn perfect; gotta be miss perfect!' attitude of yours! Nothing here is perfect!"
The she-panda flinched back. "You don't have to be a jerk about it... Why do you keep criticizing me?"
"Then stop worrying about stupid crap!" Jade's eyes began twitching.
"You're very moody... That's not good for the baby..."
"Shut your effing mouth," she growled, her facial tick becoming severe.
Méngméng frowned. "Why are you taking it out on me?! I tell you my fears, and you call me a stupid idiot and judge me! You always do this!"
Jade could feel her body starting to heat up dangerously, the soles of her feet starting to melt the linoleum flooring. "Your fears are unjustified and moronic!" She spun and left very quickly.
She walked past everyone in the waiting area, ignoring Zeb as he tried to ask her something other than to push him out of the way and burning some of his fur, leaving him stunned and confused.
She went outside and got into her vehicle and sat there for almost ten minutes before she could process what had just happened. She beat the steering wheel until it had a slight bend to it.
She wanted to go home, but wasn't sure where that was now. Was it at the Hall with Ted? Or was it back in Colorado? Perhaps it wasn't even here on this planet. Feeling her stomach clench tightly as her nerves were completely shot, she barely had time to open the door before the vomit spewed forth.
She took in several gasping breaths, trying to get herself under control again. Her fur scaled itself before returning to normal, and a hint of purple tinted her fur. She was shaking and could feel her facial tick starting to annoy her. She put her paw up to her eye, wanting to rip the eyelid off. Pulling the door shut, she sighed, glad that the scent of the vomit was trapped outside.
There was a light knock at her door, and Fred's face appeared.
Glancing over, Jade frowned a moment before unlocking the passenger door.
He opened and attempted to fit himself into the car, but his bulkiness wouldn't allow it. He huffed and sat on the ground instead, door open. "What's up? You seemed kinda mad... Did something happen?"
She just leaned forward, her head on the bent steering wheel. "I... I don't know anything anymore, Fred."
He looked at the steering wheel in surprise, and then back at her. "Well, Ted asked me to keep an eye on you while he's away in Memphis getting things sorted for the wedding and fixing things with Pops... So I don't want to give him a bad report. Are you not feeling good? I see you threw up..."
She turned her head to look at him. "Fred, I'm..." She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him before she told Ted, but maybe she was going to have to. She knew this wasn't the source of her problems, but at least maybe it would keep everybody quiet.
"Pregnant? I'm not stupid... I know your scent's changed. Remember, I have four cubs... Of course, it's two sets of twins, but still, I know when your scent changes. It's more milky, and there's other signs, too."
She just stared at him for a few moments and then dissolved into tears.
He frowned, got up, shut the door, went around to the other side of the car - ignoring the puke - and opened her door, pulling her into a hug. "Hey... If you need to cry, cry. Remember, I grew up with Tennessee for years," he said softly.
She clung to him crying. She wasn't really sure why she was crying but it felt good.
"You pregnant ladies and your hormones," he teased softly.
She lightly punched him in the side. "Shut up, Fred."
"Oof! Rude," he laughed and still held her. "Ya know, you're a lot like my ex... She always bottled things up until she exploded... Guess that's why our marriage didn't work in the end... But... But you and Ted both bottle things up instead of talking to each other..."
"Please, don't tell him."
"I won't. You know I wouldn't. But you should."
"I don't know if I'm going to keep it. I... I don't deserve this. Not after what happened."
Fred blinked. "Not keep it? But this is yours and Ted's child, Jade..."
"I know, but I don't deserve a happiness like this."
"Well, why not?"
"Because... I don't." Her mind drifted back to Zak, watching him suffer until she sang him to sleep and he left with that strange black bear.
"Why don't you tell me a reason, and I'll tell you if you're correct?" he asked gently.
She sighed. She felt comfortable around Fred, always had, and she finally broke down and told him everything.
Listening, his eyes widened, and then he frowned. "Well, that seems fairly odd... But I know why she trusted you in telling you... Because she still sees you as that little girl that followed her around, calling her 'mother'. She still loves her little girl, despite how you treated her."
She groaned in frustration. She was still having a hard time with all of this. And what was he talking about? Little girl? Helen? "It's not... I don't deserve any of this. Not now. It's my fault that Trixie and Tennessee lost their baby!"
Fred was fairly surprised that she didn't comment on what he said about her and Helen, but chose not to further the subject unless she wanted to. "You do deserve to be happy, Jade. Even Trixie and Tennessee still have one of their children."
"But it's my fault all of this happened. People are dead because of me, Fred."
"Mmm... That is partially true, yes, however, Helen was also at fault, too."
"No... She just..." Her eye began twitching again. "Damn it."
"Twitch, twitch," he teased.
She reached up with her paw and covered her eye.
"Helen relayed the information to the wrong person... but also the right person... She should have informed more than one person about the situation, BUT you also should have acted on what you knew. So you're both at fault."
"Can't know what I don't believe in."
"It's funny, really... because you used to believe. Always begged for her stories..." He sighed. "Of course, that was before the incident..."
She glanced at him. "I have no clue what you're talking about, Fred."
"Yeah, and the reason for that, from what I remember, is because of the incident, actually..." He laughed. "I'm sure Ted doesn't remember the young black she-cub that followed us around all the time, trying to pick fights and played with Zeb so much. Such a fiesty little thing."
She frowned again, unable to remember any of this.
"At least, I'm fairly certain it was you. It was someone who looked an awful lot like you. Reason I bring it up is because I saw some pictures in albums a few months back and it reminded me."
"I just remember my brother being obsessed with the band and his imaginary friend Alec."
Fred started laughing. "Uh, Jade... Funny how you and I both know an Alec, huh?"
"I'm lost."
He blinked. "Lost?"
"I don't get what you're talking about."
"Ah, well, see, that's because of what happened. See, Helen has these abilities to remove or add memories and stuff, and she was trying to help you out... but it went all screwy..."
"Fred, you're really not making any sense."
He sighed unhappily. "I wish you did remember... You used to live with us, back when you were a cub. For the first couple years of when we were a band, starting with when we were rebuilding the Hall."
She sighed. It was frustrating not knowing. Was he for real?
"There's gotta be pictures somewhere... I know Helen loved taking pictures..." He looked thoughtful. "There is, but I think they're back up in her hideaway."
She frowned. "Fred... I think I'm gonna go home and rest..."
"Shelbyville or the Hall?" He laughed. "Both are your homes, actually... You were there when the Hall was being rebuilt, and you lived in Shelbyville, where your father was stationed. Funny how things work out, huh?"
"Do you think Ted would mind if I went to the cabin?"
"Well, it'll be your home soon enough, so I don't think he'd mind. You got the keys?"
"Yeah, he gave me a set."
"Then go home and rest. I'll be by later, okay? I'm going to make sure Zeb isn't TOO fragile with his new little cubs. And that he informs his aunt and uncle about them, and tells Fēnglì he has new siblings, given the bad news earlier..." He sighed a bit, but then smiled. "I am happy for them, and for you. Don't forget that. Everyone deserves happiness."
She nodded and hugged her soon-to-be brother-in-law. "Thanks, Freddy."
He grinned. "And later... maybe we can talk business. I have a proposition for you, and I'd like it if you could help me out?"
"Uh, sure. It probably won't be until tomorrow, though. I think I'm gonna hibernate in Ted's bed."
He smiled and nodded. "Gives me time to get all the plans together."
"Okay!" She sidestepped her vomit and got back into her car.
"Now then, you drive safe, and give me a text when you get there, okay?"
"I will. I'm gonna try to call Ted, too."
"Sounds good. Just not while driving, okay?"
"Of course not, silly." She laughed a bit.
"Great. Now get going!"
"I'm going!" She rolled up her window and started the car and left. Not driving her usual fast speed.
She didn't even turn on the radio as she drove along, her mind lost in thought. What had Fred been talking about? Was Jesse's imaginary friend 'Alec' her striped, friendly Zoober? And this about Méngméng and Zeb's miracle cubs...
She thought about how she had spoken so harshly to Méngméng. She didn't feel sorry for her though, but perhaps it hadn't been the time or place for her anger. The she-bear had every right to be upset and worried, given her history and how she was raised, not to mention losing her cub earlier... but why had she [Jade] allowed herself to get so angry so suddenly?
She sighed as she leaned back, thinking momentarily about letting go of the steering wheel. But something told her not to, a little voice in her head. That she had too much to live for, and that it would be too cruel to do to Ted, Fred, and the baby.
She shook her head, clearing it a bit. She just needed to get home to the cabin and sleep. Soon enough, the turn off came up and she left the interstate. Thankfully, the journey to the Hall wasn't much longer, and she parked in the lot.
Making her way to the dark wood cabin, she was just happy to be away from everybody. Too much social interaction that day. Entering the home, she sighed yet again and looked around for a moment before going to the bathroom and then claiming Ted's large bed for herself. Before she fell asleep, she made sure to text Fred to let him know she made it safe, and then she tried calling her mate.
He didn't answer his phone, but moments later she got a text message. WHO IS THIS?
Jade blinked but texted back. IT'S JADE. WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?
BACK OFF. TED IS MY BEAR. WHO TF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Jade frowned. UH, HIS FIANCÉE?
FIANCÉE? I DON'T KNOW OF ANY FIANCÉE
Jade felt that familiar rage starting to boil up in her stomach again.
STOP CONTACTING ME AND LOSE MY NUMBER
Eyes narrowing, Jade growled and immediately tried calling again.
A female voice answered. "Who the fudgenugget is this?! Shove off!"
"You listen here, you snobby little twit. Put my fiancée on the phone. Now."
"Ted doesn't have a fiancée! Back the fudge off before I call the police." Click!
Jades growl was almost deep enough to scare the stripes off of a tiger. She got up out of bed and used Ted's cabin phone.
The same female voice answered. "Hello? If this is the same person, I swear!"
"If I'm not his fiancée, then tell me how the hell I'm inside his cabin, using his phone? Let me talk to Theodore!"
"Because you're a stalker! Hey! Ted, gimme back the phone and let me deal with this!"
The voice changed to Ted's. "Jade? I'm so sorry. I was in the bathroom, left my phone, and Brit got a hold of it..."
"Yeah, clearly." She sighed, anger dropping a bit as she sat up. "When are you coming home?"
"Um... Well, I'm sorting things out here, so..." He sighed. "I'm making some big decisions out here, too... Gotta make a more stable employment for myself, so... I..."
"Ted, just spit it out."
"I'm reopening Bedderhead and Sons Company in Nashville," he said bluntly.
"What? Why?" She squeaked. "That's so far away!"
"I need a more stable income, and with everything that's happened the past couple of months... The band's not going to be the same, if we ever perform again at all. I want to contribute to the grounds. Be able to support myself and you. Maybe any future cubs we may or may not have. Yes, it's far away, but it's a big city. We'll be able to get a lot of business. Or maybe if we started it in Pendleton, we'd be between Nashville and Shelbyville... but I don't want people hunting me down at my house at the Hall, you know?"
"Yeah, but..."
"And Shelbyville's not big enough... Besides, we're going to be living in Pendleton, aren't we?"
"Well, yeah." She tried to shut out the screaming voices in her head, telling her to kill him for doing this to her.
"Pops and I have been working things out, too. He still owns the factory in the city, so I'll just be going, well, home, basically. I'm going to ask Fred to work with me."
"Oh... You... You don't have to do this, ya know."
"But I want to. My own business has gotten fairly popular, so I'm going to integrate it into the company, too."
"Ted, I... Fine. If this is really what you want to do."
"I'd much rather make music, but... With things the way they are, it's not going to work out, Jade. It... It just won't." His voice was soft and dejected. "Before money problems get worse, I need to do this..."
"I guess. It's probably a good thing, anyways. But I don't like you being so far away..."
"You don't sound pleased... Understandable, though. I should have consulted you about this ages ago."
"It's fine. I just... I really miss you. You've been gone a week..."
"I'll be home before the month is up, Jade, I promise. If not sooner. Cheer up. You got Fred!"
"Yeah, but Fred's not my fiancée or the fatherofourunborncub."
"Come again? I didn't catch that part. Oh, wait, hold on." There was muffled speaking, then Ted returned. "Sorry, honey, I have to go. Pops wants to go over the plans with me and prices and whatnot. I'll call you back! Love you!" Click.
"Damn it, Ted." She put the phone back in the receiver and sighed unhappily. Did Ted not care? Or had he heard and panicked? She wasn't sure.
The walls felt so close now, and she had to get out of the cabin and walk around before she went insane. She walked in circles for what felt like forever before finally going to the Hall, one of the places she felt welcome. She had always loved being in the building, but never knew why. Her memories of Fred's stories about her being there surfaced. Was he serious or was he mistaking her for someone else?
She shook her head as she walked around there, too. Eventually, she went up to the balcony and sat for a few minutes, thinking out loud. "Fred can't be serious. Where would he get those ideas, anyway? They're not possible." She frowned. She didn't remember much of her childhood before Germany. "He's gotta be making a mistake. There's no way it's me... No way at all." Where could she find out the truth? Her eyes were drawn to the hidden staircase up to the third balcony.
She got up and went there. She knew a ton of Helen's old things were stored up there and she had to know. Luckily the gate opened, so that was one hurdle done. She went up the staircase, and then across the platform to the beautiful stained glass door. To her surprise, she found that the door opened, as if by magic... or if it was left unlocked, which seemed unlikely, as she knew Henry liked to keep it locked.
As she entered, she pushed the door not all the way closed behind her and looked around. "I guess I'll start with the photo albums..." There were plenty to choose from, and each was labeled with the year and/or season and year. She chose the earliest one she could find, labeled 1971. Opening it, she was greeted with baby pictures of a very odd looking cub.
"Does that thing have horns and a tail?! That is the weirdest thing I have ever seen!" She flipped through more pictures. She blinked. "Dad's house? But why would she... Wait, Dad and Henry knew each other, right? At least, that's what Henry said..." She continued on the pages before pausing in shock. There was her and Jesse, and he was holding that creature with a big grin on his face.
She leaned into the picture to get a better look. "How in the hell...?" She flipped another page. "Hey, this is Henry and Dad..." Ray was even smiling in the image, much to her shock, and the next picture had a much younger than today Henry jumping on her father's back for a piggy back ride, followed by another one that was Ray tackling him.
Her ears lowered. "Dad looked so... happy. What changed?" The ears fell lower when she found another picture where she was playing with her father, and he was still smiling, and she had a big grin on her face. She felt tears well up in her eyes. "Why'd he hate us so much...?
"Was it something I did wrong?" She paused for a moment and wiped her tears before searching through the rest of the pictures, most of them of her, Jesse, and her father, and then some of Helen, Henry, and that creature, and then group pictures of her grandparents whom she only knew through pictures, with the Falcos and Taylors. Everyone looked so happy... There was even a big image of Henry and Ray standing proud and tall with their Medal of Honor around their necks.
She switched to the next book, blinking when she found a building that looked unfamiliar, but she, Jesse, and Helen were standing in front of it, again with that creature. As the pictures went on, she found herself realizing they were on the grounds of the Hall! The building looked very different, though, more like a barn than the decorated building it was now.
Then she found that she and the creature were growing up together, playing together, even at one point a bath together, and a nice picture of them in a field with flower crowns upon their heads, both smiling and happy. To her surprise, there was even one of Ray wearing one!
She continued going through the pictures, shaking her head and laughing at a few of them, and then she saw that the strange cub had disappeared from the pictures and everybody began looking less and less happy.
"What happened...?" She frowned a moment, thinking. "Henry mentioned a tornado... Oh..." She flipped the pages watching as the faces changed. She closed it and the picked up the next one that held the pictures of the new Hall being built.
Things began to perk back up again. There were smiles and laughter, but the cub never reappeared. However, many of the photos contained her and a younger Helen, where Helen was braiding flowers into her hair, or just braiding in general, or hanging out together, reading a book, or Jade drawing. And then came the pictures with the unmistakable striped bear with her and Jesse.
"Holy crap, that's Zeb. He looks so young, yet so tall! I guess Ted wasn't lying!" She laughed a bit, cheering up. She flipped to the next page, and there she was pouncing on Zeb while her brother was making a stupid little heart sign with his claws. "Oh, dear gods." She closed her eyes, suddenly finding herself imagining what her life had been if she had been with Zeb instead of Méngméng. Then she frowned. She didn't really know that much about his sensitive side... His playfulness, yes, but other than that?
She opened her eyes back up and found a picture of her and Ted getting ready to have a go at each other. "Did we like each other at all back then?"
And then a photo of her slamming her foot down on his foot. "Oh, maybe not." She snorted and laughed at the outrage on his face. She found another picture of her with a hammer and Ted looking rather nervous. Unconsciously, she reached down and scratched at her bond mark on her foot.
"Man, I have a feeling I was an ass... but Ted's an ass too, so..." She shook her head and flipped the page, seeing more of her and Ted, but mainly her and Zeb or her and Helen, or Henry, Helen, and Ray together. She finally closed that book and looked through more of the boxes that were still up there. And then she came across one that surprised her. JADE. STAY OUT OR DIE. "Seriously? Well now I have to find out what this is." She opened it, half expecting some kind of explosion.
Instead, all that was in there was a stuffed killer whale, and a few other childish things, such as child drawings, a diary thing, and an envelope, among other things.
Jade looked at the stuffed whale and shook her head. "This is really old... Why would it be in here, though... I don't remember any whale toys... Seems kinda silly. A killer whale, huh? Well, I do like those, guess even back then!" She looked at the childish drawings. "Still can't draw... But why do they all seem to be mythical? Are those wings on bears? The hell..." She put them to the side and then looked at the diary.
There was a pocket on the front of it, and a lock on the side sealing it shut. "Well, great. Um..." She fiddled with it, and then reached into the pocket, grinning when she pulled out tiny keys. She opened it and set the lock and keys aside, and then opened it...
She looked at a few of the first entries and shook her head. Then she flipped deeper into the book finding something that caught her eye.
Dear diary, I stomped the foot of that jerk, Ted, today. He was being mean to Alec, trying to tell him what to do. He's not his father, and Alec's supposed to play with me and Jesse. We're cubs; that's what we do.
She moved forwards a little more and found a heart with Alec's name in it. "That's embarrassing." She found another entry that made her cringe.
Dear diary, Alec had free time today, and Ted and Fred brought him out to play. I was so excited! Jesse keeps telling me I have a crush on Alec, but he's just a big jerk who don't know anything.
Dear diary, I think my brother's right. I do have feelings for Alec! He makes my tummy feel like it's got butterflies in it!
Dear diary, got to see the band play today. They are so cool! Alec is really good at the fiddle! Ted's been trying to get me to sing because Alec ratted me out!
Dear diary, Jesse tried to get me to play turth or dare with him and Alec. He's so stupid.
Dear diary, Alec keeps smiling at me. Jesse says it's because he likes me. He's so stupid!
Jade shook her head. "Jesse... you really were stupid." She laughed.
Dear diary, Helen finally showed me how to fully control the fire in my pads. Dad freaked out. A lot. He told me that I was going to get burnt badly. Helen chewed him out, telling him that I had to learn before I hurt someone or myself. That if I knew what I was doing, I could remain in control and not be scared of it anymore!
Jade frowned when she looked at her last and final entry in the book.
Dear diary, is this what it's like to have a Mom?
Jade's ears lowered. All the entries mentioning Helen had been positive, except for the ones where she was cranky about being grounded or put in timeout for being naughty or disobeying. But Helen had always helped her, it would seem, and had loved her when no one else had. She, from what she could read, had a loving parent... that she didn't have any memory of. How could she not remember something so important?! Did it have anything to do with the incident that Fred had mentioned?
She looked throughout the rest of the box, and then lifted out the envelope. She recognized the handwriting as Helen's. TO JADE, it said. I AM SORRY.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" she wondered aloud and opened the paper, noticing something beneath it. Curiosity getting the better of her, she lifted it out and studied it. "Wait... these look like the totems... Ted showed me his... these look like those..." She fingered them, and then suddenly, she was bombarded by flashing images, each as clear as if they had only happened moments ago...
Happy memories outweighed the bad ones by far. She had a 'mother', a father who loved her more than she ever remembered, a huge crush on Zeb, hate for Ted, amusement for Fred, disgust for Tennessee, and confusion about why Roadie had such long hair. She had memories of going to beauty parlors with Helen and her grandmother on rare occasions, playing with Trista [that was the strange cub's name] and how much she had loved her friend and accepting her for who she was. How to control her abilities after setting things on fire every so often...
Then the memories of the tornado hit her.
That's when Jade grabbed the sides of her head and began shaking and crying as she remembered seeing her friend get torn from Helen and sucked up into the clouds. "No, no, no, no! Make it stop!"
But this time, there was no one there to comfort her as she watched Helen's desperation and heard her heartbreaking wails as she stayed to protect Jade and Jesse from the same fate. How broken she had been afterwards. How not even Jade could reach the she-bear's broken state for over a month.
Jade shivered from the terrible memory and curled herself up into a tight ball.
Tesia
The memories got a bit lighter, and a song entered her mind
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved somewhere out there
Beautiful child
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved from above
Don't be scared
Don't leave us now
I know you don't know how its gonna change
Don't leave us now
I know it seems like things will rearrange
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved somewhere out there
Beautiful child
Don't hide away
The light inside it needs to shine
Don't go away
You know you get so much to say
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved somewhere out there
Beautiful
When the nightmares keep going
And the days are getting worse
When you feel your mind is blowing
And your life seems like a curse
Just know, just know, just know
You are loved
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved somewhere out there
Beautiful child
Beautiful child, beautiful child
Know you are loved from heaven above
Don't be scared
Don't be scared (You are beautiful)
Don't be scared (You are not alone)
Don't be scared (You are beautiful)
Don't be scared
Beautiful child
She knew that song. Helen had sang it to her and Trista every time they had gotten scared at night to quell their nightmares and fears about their differences. The song was beautiful and gentle, and it relieved her tension a bit.
Jade felt herself relax a bit. She finally was able to calmly look at her totems. She seemed to have a fish one, a tree, too? That must be for climbing. A few others she didn't recognize. Jade put the necklace in her pocket. She needed Ted and she needed him now; she couldn't wait.
The memories improved. Her working with Helen, pulling her out of her shell, telling her that she was still there, and that she wanted her back. Helen returning and calming her nightmares... Telling her how much she loved her. And then came one last memory...
FLASHBACK
She had just woken from a nightmare of seeing Trista taken away by the storm, and she woke up to Helen turning on the light and pulling her close, rocking her back and forth, asking if she was okay. She remembered telling the she-bear what had happened, and seeing the sadness in Helen's eyes. And then...
"I... I can make you forget her, Jade... Would you like that? Seeing you have nightmares for so long about this..."
Jade nodded, eyes full of tears. "I don't wanna be scared anymore..."
Helen nodded, ears lowering. "Just... Just in case, I want you to know I always loved you, baby girl..."
Jade nuzzled into Helen. " I love you, too, mommy."
Helen purred and held her close, kissing her forehead, and then pulled back, eyes turning silver as she touched her temples and focused, fishing out the memories. Jade could feel herself remembering less and less about her red-furred horned friend. And then...
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Ray had stormed in, looking absolutely furious as he yanked Helen away and threw her aside.
Helen let out a shout. "WAIT! RAY, DON'T! YOU CAN'T BREAK THE CONNECTIO-"
END FLASHBACK
Jade blinked as she was brought back to reality. "This... All of this is Dad's fault." She felt white hot anger begging to take hold of her again. "No, Jade, calm down..." she told herself, trying to fight back against it.
She quickly put everything back in the box and kept the necklace in her pocket. She'd look at things more later when she could focus. She put the box away and then left, shutting the door behind her. She went back to Ted's cabin, changed her clothes, and got in the car.
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