AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I know, I know—go ahead and shoot me for the kind of sad cliffhanger.

I promise this one is not as sad.

Not at all.

Still a little angsty though.

You guys can all give yourselves pats on the back for an update so quick too.

Positive review always puts me in a good mood.

Plus I'm getting sick, so I had some time to kill since it's a Saturday and I've packed what I needed to pack today.

I'll prolly sadly turn in early though.

HaHa.

****

Spock had tried to get into my quarters for a good two or three hours the afternoon before. I'd thought about talking to him about it, but found out a good thirty minutes in that I was stubborn. I gave him props for sticking it out, and woke up early enough to shower, get dressed, and sneak out of my quarters.

Part of me wished he'd camped outside my door, but Spock was logical—it was why I loved him. I sighed when I thought about that—love. Love was entirely new to me…and apparently jealousy was too. I hated this whole jealousy thing. I really wanted to just hang out with Megan in Engineering, and so I headed down the corridor to the lift and then turned to see Spock headed my way.

"Oh no." I said out loud shaking my head, but Spock made it into the lift right before the doors got ready to close.

"You and I need to talk." Spock told me, reaching out to halt the lift.

I tried to stop him, but he was faster and stronger than I was. I was about to open my mouth and say something, but he kissed me. It was hard not to respond too, because his lips were so soft and warm, and when I felt his body cradle mine I felt safe. I sighed a little as his lips pulled away from mine, and he ran his nose along mine.

"God, that feels good." I whispered with a laugh.

Spock smiled a little. "Why are you avoiding me?"

I sighed a little and played with his shirt. "I'm jealous of Uhura."

"Why would you be jealous of Lieutenant Uhura?" Spock asked me.

"Because well one, you were in a relationship with her way before you even met me. Two, she kissed you yesterday, and three…your future self reminded me that you are a man of logic. Lately you've been acting on feelings but I dunno. I got all jealous and stubborn and—" I said, but he stopped me with a kiss.

I felt really stupid for being so upset with him, and kissed him back. It was easy to get lost in him for a few minutes, but then suddenly logic came into the picture. I would have just cursed him for making me start to think things over, but this time I was thankful. So what if the kissing meant he liked me more? Did he like her in the slightest? Did he still have feelings for her? And why the Hell did she kiss him?

I pulled away, reaching past him and pushing the button to make the lift go. "I'm going to go into Engineering, and I'm going to talk to Megan, and I'll see you when I see you."

Spock was confused. "Why are you pulling away again?"

"Because believe it or not, I'm thinking about the situation logically. Yay, you kissed me—I appreciate it, I do. But come on, Spock: she kissed you and you didn't hate it. You sure as Hell didn't look like you hated it anyways." I said.

"Lieutenant Uhura was simply saying 'goodbye'." Spock explained to me.

"Awesome—I wish my friends went around saying 'goodbye' to me with their mouths." I told him sarcastically.

Spock stood up straight. "That is not how I meant it and you are fully aware of that."

I took a deep breath to say something but the lift doors slid open, and so I shrugged a little and headed out. I ran my fingers through my side ponytail and then I strode up to Megan, Lieutenant Commander Scott giving her a lecture about something. When he was done, she looked straight at me and put a hand on her hip.

"Word on the street is that you kissed Spock's future self." Megan told me.

"Word on the street? Great. That means that Spock either already knows—no the kiss in the lift means he doesn't—but that means that he will, and I didn't tell him. After I got all pissed off at him just now about Lieutenant Uhura—well not pissed, actually. I'm just super jealous of her and I have no right to be when he's proving he wants to be with me and I kissed Spock Prime."

Megan smiled a little and then laughed. "You are so in love with him. Will you please just go and tell him that you kissed the older Spock and then straighten things out with him?"

I shook my head. "No—and don't tell me I'm being stubborn. He won't even give me a solid explanation as to why Lieutenant Uhura kissed him anyways."

"I'm getting a little sick and tired of this game of cat and mouse that you two are playing—can't one of you just let the other win already?" Megan asked. "Sooner or later, one of you is going to give up on all of it."

"And it will be him." I said slowly, sighing again. "And he'll end up like his older self and I'll go to Jimmy. God, I don't like the sound of that."

"What are you even talking about now?" Megan asked me. "Why would you go to Jimmy? I'm super confused right now."

I headed towards the lift. "I'll explain later!"

When I got inside, I headed towards the floor I'd come from, hurrying down the corridor and stopping. Why was Lieutenant Uhura outside of his quarters? Why were the doors opening? Why was he letting her in? Why was I so jealous when he'd made it so clear in the lift that he wanted me? Then it hit me—I needed him to say those three stupid, terrifying, meaningful words.

I swallowed as I realized my inner confession, and smiled a little at him as he let her in, looking up to see me paused in the corridor. I nodded at him and turned to go, not surprised that he didn't follow me. It wasn't like him to not come because he was mad—as a half-Vulcan it wasn't in his nature. Lieutenant Uhura needed something and he was her friend. Who cared about that stupid kiss anyways?

****

"Go away." I told Spock, sitting at a table in the Mess Hall eating some pancakes the next morning.

Spock sighed as he sat next to me. "Spock Prime left this morning."

I nodded. "I know—I was with Jim earlier and he told me about the departure."

"He wondered where you were." Spock continued.

"I bet." I said, pretending I was uninterested in the conversation. "And I bet he also noticed the calm hand you placed on your good friend Uhura's lower back too. He prolly loved that. Comes into this time line to see not just one but two girls he maybe could have had if he wasn't such a logical bastard!"

I stood up angrily and headed out of the Mess Hall, very aware that though I had kept my voice down, having Spock follow me out when I was in a huff was causing a scene. It was exhausting being jealous. I was trying not to be, but when I'd gone to see Spock Prime off and seen them standing there I snapped—why couldn't I just tell him first? Why was I scared that he'd rebuff me with logic?

"You are acting irrationally." Spock told me.

I stopped and turned to face him. "I know that."

Spock nodded and took a step towards me. "Would you like to discuss this in my quarters?"

I smirked a little. "Seems like an as logical place as ever."

Spock gave a nod and we walked in silence to his quarters, him motioning for me to enter before he did. I walked inside and sat down on his couch, him taking a seat next to me and looking me in the eye. He was growing a little weary of my pulling away and I got that—I was growing quite weary of it myself. So I took a deep breath moved so my legs were draped over his, me now sitting lengthwise with the couch. I leaned in so our faces were near each other and I closed my eyes as I felt his pulse quicken a little.

"I need to know why she kissed you, why she was in your quarters last night, and why you were touching her this morning—well I guess it's more of a want than an actual need. I know I'm acting like a jealous girlfriend when I'm not even really technically your girlfriend but…suddenly I feel so insecure about it all." I explained, opening my eyes as I felt I'd verbally vomited over him successfully now. "I'm sorry…I have no right to pry."

Spock stroked my hair. "Lily…Lieutenant Uhura and I have a past—but this is not my past. This is my present…you and I have this present together."

I smiled and reached up to hold the hand that was stroking my hair, kissing it softly. I held it to my heart, and used my other hand to prop my head up on the couch. His feelings were mingled inside of him just as mine were, and this heart to heart could do us both a whole lot of good. So I signaled that I was paying attention and nodded for him to continue.

"Lieutenant Uhura heard about you kissing my other self." Spock told me and I closed my eyes, for some reason expecting an angry blow. "She told me that there were a few people who had been talking about the time you and I had been spending together and she wanted to know if it had led to anything more substantial. Of course I felt jealousy inside of me—which I have never felt this intensely before—but the kiss was merely her telling me that she was glad I was happy when I explained to her that I was involved with you."

I scoffed. "And she couldn't have done it without using her lips?"

"You couldn't have talked to the other Spock without using your lips?" Spock countered me.

"You're right." I told him. "I felt so sorry for him when he started telling me about how he let the other me go, and I ended up with Jimmy—which still weirds me out and…oh my God."

Spock nodded and I smiled a little and shook my head—Lieutenant Uhura and I had been acting on the same sorts of feelings. She thought that I was in a way betraying Spock, and she felt sorry for him—just as I had felt sorry for the pain in Spock Prime's heart that I had felt when he talked about his situation with love. I kissed Spock softly and then pulled away a little.

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I'm still trying to adjust to all of these feelings."

"Last night, Lieutenant Uhura came to talk to me because she wanted to make sure that I was all right—she did know that you saw her kiss me, Lily." Spock told me. "And when I saw you leave down the corridor looking defeated and contemplative, she consoled me—with no touching."

I kissed him again, only this time more passionately. "I am so sorry. You deserve a much better girlfriend than me. I'm jealous and irrational, and I should just trust you."

"I don't want anyone but you." Spock admitted, and I found butterflies erupting in my stomach. "How can you completely trust me when I'm the one that pulls away the most because of logic?"

"I can't blame you for that—it's part of what makes you, you…and I respect that. I'm still intrigued by that even. After all of the cracking, and all of the caving, and all of the feeling that you've been doing…I'm still amazed that you let logic guide you 95% of the time." I admitted with a smile.

"I'm still amazed that with everything you feel, you haven't just called it all off completely. Why is that?" Spock asked me. "Why do you keep holding on? You rebuff me sometimes when you're jealous and upset, but you keep coming back to me and I don't understand? Why don't you give up on me when you feel all of those emotions swirling inside of you making you feel ill?"

I shrugged, smiling a little at how well he understood me. "Why do you keep coming back when I keep putting you through all of these illogical hoops?"

Spock swallowed and rested his hand on the nape of my neck, stroking my skin. "Because, Lily…I love you."