A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chapter 10

Hermione strode along the corridors, in a bid to work off her anger that had flared because of Harry's lack of understanding. She had thought he had already come to terms with what they had to handle. Instead, she found he had merely repressed his misguided thoughts to force himself to be resigned.

How was Harry Potter going to save the world like this?

The walk had a different effect on Hermione than she had expected. She wanted to cool her nerves. She found them more and more frayed as she went on walking.

Hermione's footsteps took her all over the school. Through the hallways, past the library, up the towers, down the dungeons, across the fields, along the lake, back to the castle. She kept up her pace, until Snape stopped her.

"It's two in the morning Miss Granger," he said disapprovingly when they met at the west entrance into the castle.

"Well, why are you here then?" she fired back.

Snape raised an eyebrow and said slowly, mockingly, "I am patrolling Miss Granger. Unless I am much mistaken, it's not your duty tonight to patrol the compounds. What are you doing?"

And since Snape presented himself as such a convenient target, Hermione let loose her pent-up rants.

"What am I doing here, he asks? What am I doing here?" she talked as though to herself, "I am here because there is nowhere for me to go professor. I am here because, unlike you who can easily take points off Gryffindor for no reason other than to show your displeasure, I cannot do that. I cannot yell to my fellows that it's wrong to condemn someone just because of her family. Just because of what her father was. I'm here because I'm helpless in dealing with people who don't believe in second chances. I'm here because I don't know how to help Adora. She's so sweet and she doesn't complain. She tries to take things into her stride but she doesn't deserve to have them in her hands in the first place. Unlike how Harry is behaving. The Boy-Who-Lived is blaming everyone when all of us are trying their best to fight for their lives. My best friend says he's trying his best but he's not. He damn well is not. And everyone is panicking, because we can't stop Voldemort." She did not see Severus flinch, "Because he's too clever and the Ministry's in inner turmoil, fighting among themselves."

Hermione yelled on and on, until her words were spent.

Sadness crept back into her heart. Always sadness, after one's anger. And there were no tears to shed. It was just a bone-deep exhaustion she felt. "I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish Harry didn't have to be whom everyone is counting on. I wish Adora could be a normal, happy girl. But it doesn't work like that."

She quieted down.

Severus was well aware of the feeling. He said simply, "You lost me when you started talking about Potter."

Hermione sighed. She waved her wand and dispelled the silencing spell Snape had cast immediately when he realised she was going to throw a tantrum. She was grateful no one else had heard her, but she was annoyed with how Severus could remain in control so easily in the face of thunderous, self-righteous students. He had said it came with practice, like all other things. She told him what had happened.

Severus's remark was, "How predictable of Potter to behave so childishly." He smirked, very satisfied to know that Potter was still a brat whom he could look down on in justification.

It was what Hermione had been thinking, but having it reflected in Severus's tone sounded… Whatever it was, it did not rest well in her ears. Hermione rolled her eyes and said, "You will say that sir."

"And you will think it Miss Granger. Why else do you feel frustrated?"

Hermione nodded, and began to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going Miss Granger?" Severus said in clipped tones.

Hermione jumped and realised she was heading out to the open again, "I won't be able to sleep tonight… this morning. I'll just walk some more. I need some air, some sort of release. I can't…" She cut off her sentence. She was rambling. "I'll… be on my own for awhile. Don't let me keep you sir."

Severus shrugged nonchalantly, "When have you allowed me to walk away when you wanted to talk to me? When did you listen when I said I wanted time alone?" Before, he had not expected that their roles would reverse, but the more he knew Hermione, the more he felt that they had something in common. A sense of isolation perhaps. Although Hermione had Potter and Weasley, she was a solitary person. He had noticed for some time that although everyone treated her in a friendly fashion, she was not close to them. And when she needed to ponder out loud, he found that she would come to him, because she trusted him to give his objective view, however ruthless it might be.

Looking at Hermione, he asked, "You wish to be free of inhibitions?"

Despite her current mood, Hermione smiled. One would think Snape was a noble's son and not a poor academic's, the way he talked sometimes. The reality was that there was nothing romantic about Snape, or his past. She suspected he had learnt his English from those Muggle classics and novels. "Yes sir. But it's not possible."

"Come along then." Severus headed to the gates, and did not check to see if Hermione was following.

She was, after overcoming her initial surprise. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he replied, and Hermione caught him muttering, "A youth's impatience."

When they stepped out of the Hogwarts grounds, Snape said, "I'll Apparate first. You will go next. Think of going to the place where I am."

"Beg your pardon sir?" Hermione was stunned.

"You know how to Apparate, don't you? Professor Flitwick said you can."

"What about protocol? I'm still an underaged witch."

"One would think that being with Potter and Weasley would be reason enough for you to be bolder." Severus said sardonically, "You've broken a number of rules before Miss Granger."

"But not with your permission."

"True. But you are a member of the Order. You are allowed to Apparate."

"But how can you Apparate by thinking of an unknown destination? You can't think of a person and be at his or her side just like that."

"Only if that person gives his or her permission." So saying, Severus vanished into thin air.

Hermione hesitated. She was less confident about her skill than Snape appeared to be. Maybe he wanted her to splinch all over England. She could not always fathom what he was thinking. She had discovered a long time ago that he had a penchant for shrouding things in drama and mystery. Bottle fame, brew glory… He was in his subversive way like Dumbledore, which was both bad and good.

Hermione steadied her nerves and closed her eyes. She could do this. Concentrating hard, she Apparated.

~***~

"You can open your eyes now Miss Granger."

"Did I splinch?" Hermione scrunched her face up at the sound of her squeaky voice. Like someone who had just inhaled helium.

"So little faith in your abilities Miss Granger?" Amusement reverberated in his voice, "You are all right, as far as I can see. For pity's sake, open your eyes. If the wind changes, your face is going to be stuck in that state forever."

"That's an old grandmother's tale," said Hermione reproachfully.

Now that Snape had mentioned it, Hermione could feel a strong gust of wind blowing against her face and her hair and robes were pulled irresistably back. When she opened her eyes, she found herself staring out at an empty sea, whose surface reflected the stars. She had not known what to expect. Certainly not torture chambers. She knew Snape well enough that old rumours no longer swayed her. But she did not expect something as beautiful and raw as this.

"Oh my," was her first response.

It was a place that retained an air of untamed nature; that defied human invasion and corruption. The antiquated, lonely lighthouse tucked faraway among the cliffs did not reduce that feeling. It enhanced it, moving her to believe no one had come here for centuries. It was a place unexplored and filled with mystery. This was a moment captured in time, lost to the living world. At least, she could dream it. Night was wont to make people dream. They ceased to be tied to practicality and be free of inhibitions. And what a night this place presented. She breathed in the refreshing air, which contained hints of salt and wet moss.

"I know this place," Hermione looked at Snape. "It's the beach."

"I know it's a beach Miss Granger, thank you for stating the obvious."

"I meant it's the beach. I've seen it in your memories. You come here often."

"Not often," Severus corrected her, "I come infrequently, as a respite."

He had regretted bringing her here. It was an impulse, seeing her downcast and inexplicably forlorn. He should have known better than to trust impulses. This was a place where he could pretend that nothing existed. Not Hogwarts, not the Dark Lord, not the wizarding world. He, on the other hand, was a tiny entity in the vast universe, unworthy of mention, willing to be swallowed up. Here, he could pretend that the sea washed away thoughts and memories as easily as the incoming tides smoothed away his footprints in the sand, leaving no trace that he had been there. The faraway ships did not disturb him. The lighthouse keeper did not notice him. But Granger was a reminder that he could never possibly throw aside his responsibilities. Reality had intruded into his private space. What was worse, he had been the one to let it in.

Then he heard her say "Oh my." and it told him all was well.

"There's the North Star." Hermione observed, after a while.

He looked up, and saw the brightest star.

"You can see it here because it's so dark. Let's test your astonomy sir. Tell me what constellation that is."

"I thought we are here to rest."

"Aren't we sir?"

To indulge her, Severus marked out the stars that connected to form a picture and said with ill grace, "The Big Dipper." He had learnt basic astronomy in Hogwarts.

Hermione smiled brightly, "Right. And if we can see it, we can find Ursa Major and Ursa Minor."

She plunged on, pointing out one star after another until she was satisfied with her results. "This is a better place to observe stars than at Hogwarts. Where are we professor?"

Severus was rubbing the back of his neck, which had been aching after being bent up for a while. He was more used to bending his neck down, over potion ingredients and cauldrons. Besides, he was never much of an astrologer and Granger's enthusiasm subdued him, because he knew little of the subject. He glared at her.

"I don't know where we are. I've never found out." He was not prepared to supply her with more information as to how he came about this haven.

Hermione frowned. It was definitely not a Death-Eaters' meeting place, or Snape would not come here unless he could help it. She wondered if he had come here by chance, which was dangerous because if one did not have a place in mind before one Apparated, he or she could disappear into oblivion. However, she only commented, "Well, we are in the northern hemisphere at any rate or we won't be able to see these constellations."

She sat down on the sand and Snape followed. Their gazes went out to the open sea. For an hour or so, the sounds that could be heard were the wind and the waves tumbling against the coast. When they started talking again, they continued staring in front of them.

"Thank you sir. This is lovely."

Severus said nothing.

"You know, if you behave this nicely to everyone, or at least to those you trust, seeing you can't really… Anyway, life will be better for you and for us."

"I've been described as many things Miss Granger. I've been called a snivelling git and a weakbone. There are whispers as to the elusive Potions Master who learnt about the fifty-one properties of dragon scales before turning thirty, a feat I'm told only six have been recorded to do. Blood-sucking vampire, fiendish coward, overgrown bat, constipated… please Miss Granger. I'm aware of what my students call me behind my back, always the worst place to exchange opinions. It is what people say behind your back that is important. However, no one has ever accused me of being nice."

"You shouldn't care about what people say. They don't know." Hermione mused, "It's just… If you don't act like you do…"

"Do you think it is an act?" Severus asked, horrified.

Hermione shook her head, "I wouldn't make that mistake. But, to each his own. It's true though. If you are more like Professor Flitwick or Hagrid…" She paused again when Snape threw her a look of woe. "If you are more like them, no one will care if you were a Slytherin. Maybe no one will question your past too. They'll see that you keep students from attacking each other every year, that you help Professor Dumbledore as much as Professor McGonagall. But you're arrogant."

"Oh I don't mind arrogance with intelligence. It's arrogance with stupidity that I cannot tolerate, like dunderheads who think they're capable of what even their professors approach with caution." Severus's mouth twitched at the corner, as he tried not to smile, "You'll probably add narcissism to your list of 'Better Understanding Snape' next."

Hermione said, "You're not Lockhart. And I don't have a list."

"A list doesn't have to be a piece of paper."

Hermione bit her lower lip. She could not hide much from Snape. The truth was that ever since befriending Snape during the holidays, she came to like Snape. Very much. It was her plan that he should have someone else other than the faculty to support him, but it was not her intention to like him. She did not think it possible. But that was because she did not know him. She was going in circles trying to find an explanation.

Snape was a good conversationalist so long as he knew he had your respect and attention, and he was a good teacher if you were not Neville or Harry. She did not approve of Snape's treatment towards Neville (her friend continually exploding cauldrons was not a valid reason). In fact, she did not approve of many Snapish traits. That was the problem. Being Snape's friend did not erase any of his non-admirable qualities. But they did not stop her from liking him. So she settled for learning and analysis, and tried to accumulate as many justifications as possible for liking Snape.

"A person Miss Granger, is not a puzzle to disentangle."

"For one so anti-social, you know a lot about human nature."

Severus spoke blandly, but she recognised the glint in his normally cold eyes that terrified the general population but betrayed to the few who knew him that he was amused.

"Perhaps, Miss Granger, one should say that the passive bystander who flitters round the edges of society is better equipped to form a clearer study of human nature. Or perhaps I should say that Professor Dumbledore is more than sufficient social interaction for me."

Hermione asked wryly, "So how does that help me sir?"

Severus scooped up a handful of sand and let it glide through the spaces between his fingers. "I remember you are very good at questions." Granger was not a responsibility. She had become more than that. She had become a… his brain struggled with the word 'friend'. It would take getting used to, like how it took him to becoming used to having her as a companion. And she was the second person who ever cared to ask.

"Why hate? Why hate so much it made you something you rejected in the end?"

Hermione gave Snape time to answer.

Severus rubbed his brow, for want of a better thing to do. Why hate? He had asked himself that for years. What happened to the boy who hated? "It's… self-preservation. If not hate, what then?"

"What now? What's it like to know if life were different, you could be different?"

Severus sighed, "I have many regrets. I cannot waste thinking of them. But they leave a hollow pain," he said curtly, "Unlike what poets will have you believe, it doesn't destroy. It's what I'll live with for the rest of my days."

And sometimes, all a person needs is another chance. And a hand to pull him up. Hermione thought.

She stood up and took off her outer robes, "I need to swim in that gorgeous sea."

"You'll catch your chill," Severus warned.

"Won't you join me?"

For a moment, she wondered if he was going to turn down her invitation. Then he got up. With the outer robes removed, Snape proved to be rake-thin. His height accentuated the fact. Together with his lanky hair blown wild by the wind, he looked oddly young.

Hermione did not wait for Snape. She wadded into the sea until the water level reached her waist.

"Race you to the horizon professor!"

"Do you think that's wise Miss Granger?"

"It's night! Night makes us fly," and Hermione swam.

Severus, the stronger of the two, closed in on her. Soon, they were swimming side by side. They shouted to each other and reached an agreement to swim for a quarter mile, with Severus's bullying tactics and Hermione's insistence that the horizon was not too far away.

When they returned to shore, Hermione was laughing merrily.

Severus's comment was "You're incorrigible Miss Granger. I had high hopes you could be a Slytherin. Alas, you are a Gryffindor still."

~***~

Physically exhausted but well satisfied with their expedition, Hermione and Severus arrived back in Hogwarts as dawn approached.

"Oh, and Miss Granger?"

"Yes professor?"

"It is two days early, but may I wish you a pleasant birthday."

Hermione started and was rendered speechless. Staring at Snape, she nodded in acknowledgement.

Severus left for his chambers.

It occurred to Hermione when she crept into her dormitories, that bringing her to that place was Snape's present.

A frustrating enigma, but a generous one.

~***~

After several hours in classes, Hermione found herself in the library, as usual. Books were stacked on the table she was sitting at. Unlike most of the books that spelt musty and were bound in leather and were Hermione's cup of tea, the ones she was currently reading had crisp covers and were not as hefty.

Muggle Studies had never been a popular subject in Hogwarts. Purebloods like the Slytherins made it a point to despise it, whereas the rest like the Ravenclaws were under the misconception that Muggles were boring creatures. Muggleborns wanted to prove they were as much a witch or wizard as any of the others, so they preferred to spend time amassing more knowledge about the magical community. Through some of the more earnest students' efforts, and Dumbledore's expertise, the library recently acquired many books regarding the Muggle world, which included up-to-date atlases and tourists' guides. After all, as Dumbledore said, this was just a good a time as any other to further witches' and wizards' understanding of Muggles. Hermione remembered her experience during Qudditch World Cup all too well.

After researching on lighthouses and beaches, she had come to the conclusion that she and Snape had been to Oregon, America. There were pictures that fitted the description of the beach they had been to, and the lighthouse she had caught a glimpse of matched Heceta Head Lighthouse, dubbed as "Oregon's Jewel". To think she had been in the same country her parents were staying in.

Reality did not suit fantasy. The beach with the lighthouse was not a deserted area at all. It was a tourist attraction near US-101. Travel around the area had been somewhat minimal until the highway was completed in 1932.

Furthermore, unlike several lighthouses on the Oregon coast, Heceta Head Lighthouse did not offer stories of life and death. This particular site was so named because of Captain Don Bruno de Heceta of the Spanish Royal Navy who had sailed past the Oregon coasts in 1775. Up to1932, due to its remote location, few families had lived in Heceta Head, where children had attended school together in a single-room. A couple of years later, electricity had finally arrived at the lighthouse and the old lamp was replaced with a bulb.

Probably the most excitement Heceta Head ever experienced was during World War II, when the Coast Guard had sent seventy-five men to ward against prospective Japanese attacks.

The interesting bit was the name of the beach Snape and Hermione were at. Devil's Elbow preserved the steep cliffs and sandy beach at the base of the cape. If the gods had chosen this place for Snape, the gods must have a rather twisted humour.

The name, in mundane truth, referred to the park's L-shaped ocean cove, where tricky currents had bedeviled mariners in the late 1800s. In the 1990s, bureaucrats, who were determined to purge satanic references from state park names, rechristianed the place Heceta Heaf Lighthouse Viewpoint. But the sanitised name did not quite catch on among the locals, partly because the park did not have a good view of the lighthouse.

Hermione wondered if she should tell Snape. He did not seem interested to know. All he cared was that it was his sanctuary.

And maybe that was all that mattered to a person who wanted a little peace that he could not find in his world.

"Hermione?" a nervous voice called to her.

Hermione looked up to see her two friends. She had not forgotten about her spat with Harry. Yet it felt like it had happened a long time ago.

Harry was about to speak again when Hermione shook her head.

"Not here." She put the books back onto the shelves and Harry followed her wordlessly out of the library. Together with Ron, they walked out of the castle and came to rest under a tree near the Quidditch field.

Hermione leant against it and cocked her head to one side, "All right."

"Er… yes?" Harry responded in panic. Did he miss something?

"You were looking for me. What do you want?"

"Oh." It was not going as Harry had predicted. He had expected Hermione to either shout at him or walk away. Instead, she stood there, waiting for him to explain himself. She was always the mature one in the Trio. And he had disappointed them once more, just when he had promised to change. He thought he had it under control. But no. A person did not change as the fickle seasons did. He cleared his throat, wishing he could do better than "Ahem."

Hermione sighed.

"Are you going to apologise?" she took in Harry's pained expression, "I'm not going to lie and pretend it didn't hurt, last night."

"Yeah, yeah I know. But I was hurt too."

Hermione nodded, "I had hoped you'd handle it better."

"Not everyone's as strong as you are Hermione."

Hermione reached forward to touch her friend's arm. "I'm not stronger than you are Harry. We learn everyday. But it still hurts, even if you didn't mean it."

Harry covered her hand with his, "I'm sorry. I didn't know what came over me." He paused, "Well, there's a stupid thing to say. I was angry because I felt left out." He had been ostracised by the Dursleys' all through his childhood. When he came to the wizarding world, he thought he would finally be accepted. He was, but not in the way he needed.

The Boy Wonder. The Champion of the Dark Lord. Saviour of fellow schoolmates. It sounded like a lark when Fred and George said it. Like something from a comic book. Yet, under the rage and indignation, Harry was still a hapless lad. In his first year, Ron and Hermione had helped him through the tests leading to the Stone. In the Chamber of Secrets, he had Fawkes. So what if he knew Parseltongue? It was just something he took from Voldemort. So what if he saved Sirius and knocked Snape unconscious in his Third Year? That was because Sirius was innocent and Snape was not listening. In his Fourth Year, he was not the Champion. He only won because Voldemort wanted him to. And Cedric died because of him. His Fifth Year… hell knew what happened that year. And to think he had believed Fourth Year was the worst. Everything had gone wrong.

And each year, he had survived not though any supreme power or skill, but sheer dumb luck. One day, his luck would run out. How then was he to fight Voldemort? He was right to be frightened, even if he did not show it.

Everyone wore a mask. It was the safest way to hide your weaknesses.

Ron patted Harry's back, "Don't be so hard on yourself Harry. Treat yourself as a normal student who makes mistakes."

Ah, the damned hero complex. Not wanting the burden, and wanting it at the same time. Harry hated himself for it.

Hermione answered his unasked queries, "Not all things mend by themselves."

The three of them stood there for a while, unsure what to do next. Harry tugged Hermione's hand into the crook of his arm, "Thank god it's not your birthday today but tomorrow. I'll have to make sure to celebrate it with double treats."

"Double double treats," warned Hermione. She tugged her other hand into Ron's arm. Not wholly light-hearted, but much cheered by each other's presence, the Trio went for dinner.

And Severus, watching from the Slytherin Tower, smiled.

Hermione would be fine.

~***~

Author's Notes:

The scene at Heceta Head is inspired by Laurie R. King's "O Jerusalem". I got the information about the place from various websites. If anyone wants to see some pictures of it, here's a link. http:// lighthousegetaway. com/lights/heceta. html

Thanks Hawklaw and Melissa (can I call you Melissa?) for the terrific reviews. Made me blush.

To Anon: Thanks for the constructive criticism. I can't explain why I interpret Death-Eaters to behave as such. Sex and alcohol? I don't believe they're above that. In GoF, it can be seen that they pick on Muggles just for the fun of it. They most probably have other diversions, just that I haven't got down to thinking about them.