Brian: As many of you might remember, I mentioned this would be a two parter. Here's the second part, avid fans! Also sorry for the large wait, but that was explained in previous chapters.

Brian: Okay, now for the disclaimer…

I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, and that goes for the past, present and future.

The Interviews of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter 8

Haruhi Suzumiya, part 2

The red curtain goes up… the guest sits at the table… our host walks in the room… everything's ready!

"Welcome back to our second installment of Haruhi's interview. If I recall correctly, we left off at BakaBlue's question 'Are there any regrets in your interactions with Kyon?' So, the next question is from Kyon-Is-Haruhi's-Slave00: 'say you were god...what would you do?'"

"I would populate the world with Aliens, Time Travelers, Sliders, and Espers! DUH!"

"Shocker. Oh, well, the next question is: 'have you ever been jealous of the lowest ranking member of the brigade, if so for what reason?'"

"Jealous of Kyon? Are you trying to make me laugh? There is no way I'm jealous of Kyon"

"Okay, kind of disapointing, but anyway, the next question is: 'would you ever want to live in a video game world, possibly like the one in final fantasy?'"

"I would like to live in the video game where you play as the king and give people orders and that sort of thing."

"Once again, shocker. The next question is: 'are you special in any way that you know of? or are you a hypocrite surrounding themselves with all of these things?'"

"Of course I'm not a hypocrite! And to answer your question, it's the very fact that I have no powers that makes me want to be surrounded by those that do!"

"cough wrong cough."

"What?"

"Nothing. The next question is from leonazo: 'If you were to die... what would you like to do before well... die?' Like this isn't obvious…"

"DUH! Find Aliens, Time Travelers, Sliders, and Espers!"

"For the third time, shocker. Well, the next question is a tough one: 'If you could travel anywhere around the globe... which would be your top-three places? and Why?'"

"I would go to any place that has a large population, like America or Canada. Why is because it's a lot easier to find Aliens, Time Travelers, Sliders, and Espers."

"Okay… the next question is: 'Do you think that the members of the Brigade MAY be hiding something?'"

"Of course not! No one can hide something from me! I'm a genius, after all!"

"Boy, are you dense…"

"What?"

"Nothing… the next question is: 'I'm John Smith... (Now, what will you do?)'"

"I would lock you up and as you what you were doing, if you were an alien, why you were not at North High when I came there (he was) and then I would force you to be in my brigade So, are you?"

Leonazo: "No" (you aren't, right?)

"Darn"

"Now, if we could get back to the subject at hand, people?"

"Sure."

"Okay, the final question from leonazo (who had to have a mind wipe, which is why you don't remember being here) is: 'Why have you cut your hair? It was so nice...'"

"I don't know… I wanted a change, I guess…"

"cough baloney cough"

"What?"

"Nothing. The next question is from tojot: 'In the Light Novels, Kyon describes you as having black hair and black colored eyes, why are you portrayed as having brown hair and brown eyes in the anime?'"

"Because Kyon is an idiot who can't recognize that I have brown hair and eyes, that's why!"

"Okay… the next question is: 'Why don't you spend more time alone with Kyon?'"

"Why would I want to spend more time with Kyon?"

"Because you like him."

"No, I don't."

"Sure, sure, the next question is: 'Wasn't that dream that you had, where you were trapped at school alone with Kyon, very realistic?'"

"Another one? Are these picked out for some reason? Well, to answer the question, yes, it was very realistic. Just thinking about it makes me want to scrub out the inside of my mouth. If he ever does that again, dream or not, I'll beat the shit out of him!"

"Okay… interesting… well the next question is from BlueSword: 'Do you ever regret cutting your hair?'"

"No, because I no longer have to stle it, so it's much more convenient short."

"Well, the next question is quite interesting: 'Can you read Kyon's mind'"

"Yes, I can read him like a book." (boy is she diluted…)

"Okay, the next question is from BarretvsKyonvseveryoneelse: 'Do you really care what anyone thinks? Maybe Kyon of all people?'"

"I care about what NO ONE thinks. People who object to me are lower than Kyon!"

"Funny… okay, the next question is: 'Someone calls you weird or stupid. Your reaction?'"

"Who cares what normal people think?"

"That is so you…"

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing… the next question is: 'What superpower would you want if any?'"

"The power to find aliens, time travelers, sliders and espers."

"For the fourth time, shocker."

"Oh, well, the next question is: 'Kyon decides he likes someone but it isn't you. What will you do?'"

"What?! How dare Kyon like someone without asking the approval of his chief?! This means a penalty! PENALTY!" Haruhi shouted, running after Kyon, who just materialized in front of her.

Kyon: "Where the hell am I?!"

"Oh, Kyon, never mind about that, you should just worry about Haruhi here." I said, giving a Koizumi-like grin.

Kyon: "Huh? HARUHI?!"

"KYON! HOW DARE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITHOUT MY APRROVAL?!"

Kyon: "WAIT, DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU MY FATHER?!"

"NEVER MIND THE DETAILS!"

"Ok, we'll just leave them be, okay?"

BREAK

BREAK OVER

"Okay, now that Haruhi has gotten over her fit, let's move on to the next question."

"I WASN'T THROWING A FIT!"

"Anyway, the next question is: 'Who do you admire above all else?'"

"John Smith. Definitely John Smith. Whoever he is…"

"cough Kyon cough"

"Hm?"

"The next set of questions are from JonBob0008: 'Do you give a crap about your folks? You rarely ever talk about them.'"

"No, I don't care about my parents. They're nothing more than a bunch of baseball obsessed freaks."

"That's kind of harsh…"

"Well, they are…"

"Nevermind. The next question is: 'Does it bother you when Yuki beats you in sports? Do you consider her your rival?'"

"No, Yuki is just Yuki. Besides, I know I can beat her if I tried, I just like making my members feel good."

"Yeah, sure."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, it's time for our last question of the night: 'You told Kyon that you'd wear the maid outfit, didn't you? Why haven't you yet?' (Nose bleeds anime-like)"

"Because, Mikuru makes a much sexier maid. If I wore it, it would lose impact. Besides, why should I let Kyon have the satisfaction of seeing me in… a… maid… outfit… You know, now that I think about it, that's not such a bad idea."

(I almost feel bad for having to delete her memory. I want to see that maid costume on her so bad. If anyone has a picture, tell me where to find it! Please!)

"Anyway, I can't wait to tell Kyon about this place!"

"Yeah, we can't let that happen."

"To think I saw a real, live-wait, what?"

FLASH

Backstage

Brian: Okay, I have two things to apologize for.

Number one is my attitude throughout this chapter. Sorry, but my English teacher assigned me 4 pages of homework. High school sucks…

Anyway, the second one is to BakaBlue, who I'm sorry to say, asked another set of questions. Those will have to be answered next time, because I only allow one series of questions from an author per person.

So, I apologize for those two mistakes, and say that the next segment will be the four members of the Anti-SOS Brigade. For those who don't know who they are, they are:

Sasaki

Fujiwara

Kuyou Suoh

Kyoko Tachibana

So, I'll see you next chapter, I guess.