I walked into Gemma's with obviously a lot on my mind. She sounds like she's leaving him. How could she just walk away from what I would have given my soul to keep? Did she not love him anymore? How could she not? I left town and got a whole new life and here I am , damn near four years later mind you, still crazy in love with Jackson Teller. She was his wife. She was supposed to love him, never leave him and always be there for him. Then again look at Gemma and Clay, since I've been back to town she has not mentioned him once. I never thought I'd ever see the two of them seperated. Hell I wanted to be them. I wonder what happened there. Was it similar to what happened to Jax and Tara? I don't know but if I was supposed to know I would I guess. I need to get back to the matter at hand. I was in an obvious dilemma on whether or not to tell Gemma about Tara's exit plans. On one hand I feel its the right thing to do, she has a right to know Tara plans on splitting with her grandsons. On the other hand, I don't think I should tell her because she will make that woman's life hell. I know how Gemma is when it comes to Jax, I can only imagine she's just as fierce about his boys. Its horrible to say part of me wanted to call Jax, to warn him of his pending heartbreak. The other part of me wanted to laugh in his face for picking her over me. I knew what made him tick. He never had to keep secrets from me, we were always the best of friends. I understood his ties to the club. Sons of anarchy was as much in is veins as blood was. It was in his DNA. Both of his fathers were apart of it, his mother excels at being an old lady. He doesn't know anything else. Tara's words ran back through my head. 'The mc world is no place for children." What had happened that had changed her views so much, she brought one child into it and raised another one in it. I bet she wasn't complaining about mc life when she was pregnant and needed help with Abel. I'm being bitter again and I shouldn't. I just don't understand. How can you claim to love someone so much but hate what they stand for, everything that make them who they are? As much as I wanted to rub his nose in it, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He loved Tara more than anything else, at least he did when he left me, and now he's going to be alone. But then again if he loved her so much how could he have slept with me twice that is since I've been back. What could have possibly changed in almost four years? I had no idea what went down with the two of them and to be honest I'm not sure if I want to know. But whatever it was, he doesn't deserve to lose his boys. Jax has always been a good man, a bit of a whore, but a good man. Maybe being club President has changed him, he did bring up being a savage before. That doesn't mean he's not a good father. Before we split, watching him with Abel was one of my favorite things to do. His eyes shone with love for that child and it still warms my heart to think back on those memories. Being able to watch him with our daughter now fills my soul with happiness. Being a dad is what he's good at, she can't take that from him.

"Did you have a good conversation with the wife?" Gemma's voice invaded my thoughts. So she must have watched Tara walk me towards my car. I wonder if she told Tara about her little scheme last night? Knowing her probably not. She'd wait and use that information as leverage. I studied her face, with a slight urge to smack the smugness off of it.

"Oh yeah, real great stuff. She knows Evelyn is Jax's." Her eyebrows raised but not in surprise. I suddenly got the feeling that Tara's suspicions were planted in her head.

"Well how long were you expecting to keep her a secret?" I felt my anger flare quickly. I felt like this was her way of getting back at me for not telling her about Evelyn.

"She never would have been a secret period if you guys didn't exile me after Jax left me. Did it ever cross your mind to call me once Gemma? Just to see how I was doing. You know I loved your son more than life its self and yet you never thought to check on me.I thought we were close. I thought you liked me."

"You ran like a coward . We've missed so much of her life cause you couldn't handle not having him. Give me a break." I felt my eyes water up but I refused to cry now

"You're right I left because I couldn't handle it, because I loved him that much. I'll own up to not coming around before because I was scared but what about you." I said with my voice damn near breaking. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of me crying in front of her.

The way things went down when Jax and I split were wrong. I didn't bother to wait for an apology because I knew one wasn't coming. No matter how much she had liked/disliked me her relationship with Jax came first. So if that meant tossing me aside to keep from arguing with her son she would, no questions asked.

"Oh and by the way Gem, thanks for the set up last night." Her smile came across her face before I had the chance to finish my sentence.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

The whole way home from Gemma's Evelyn was a bit of a chatterbox. I heard nonstop about her new friend Abel, and how cool he was. She also invited him over to play with her toys. I laughed at her enthusiasm but still knowing that I would have to tell her the truth soon to avoid any problems. Maybe they'd like each other more if they knew they were brother and sister. Who knows. As we pulled up to mom's house I noticed something on the poh. I got out to inspect it before getting hem out of the car, I was a bit surprised by what I found. There was a pink teddybear with a Teller-Morrow garage card leaned up against it. I picked up the card and there was only a phone number on it. It could only be Jax. I walked back to the car and as I was walking I placed the card in my back pocket.I unhooked Eve from her car seat and walked around to mom's side of the car to help her out.

"Eve your daddy was here, he left you something." She took off like a bat out of hell and when she spotted the Teddy bear her face lit up. I helped mom into the house, she was in a lot of pain so for once she didn't complain. I sat mom down on the couch and pulled the coffee table close to her.

"What are you doing?' I walked towards the hallway and got into the closet. I pulled down two sets of domino's and made my way back to the living room.

"We're going to play a game together, something we haven't done in awhile."

We spent the afternoon playing domino's because don't let mom's toughness fool you, she loves domino's. Eve eventually got in on the game so I gave her own set and let her join us. I had such a great time. After we played our many games I made dinner, gave Evelyn a bath and helped mom into the bath as well. I did the dishes and eventually took my own shower after they were both in bed. It wasn't until I was laying in my own bed and the house was silent around me that I remembered the card in my pocket. I quickly and, quietly mind you, tip toed my way to the bathroom and got in the hamper and pulled out my jeans. I dug into each pocket until I found the one holding the card. I snuck back to my room and laid on my bed. I held the card in my hand for two minutes debating on whether I should call or not. My stomach tightened up and I started to feel nauseated. Jesus I really was nineteen all over again. I finally just dialed the number, the whole time I was on pins and needles, it rand three times and I pulled the phone from my ear to hang up when I heard his voice.

"Hello?" I sighed, the nervousness still eating my stomach alive.

"Jax, its Kandie."

"Oh hey doll, I didn't think you were going to call." I laughed softly trying not to be too loud to wake up Eve.

"As if. You're Jax Teller, you give your phone number out to a ninety year old woman a she's going to call." He chuckled this time.

"When you're right, you're right. Why's it so quiet?"

"Well its after ten so everyone's asleep."

"Ahhh isn't this like old times?"

"Except four years ago our daughter was not sleeping in the same room with me."

"So then I can't come sneak in your window to fool around then huh," I heard the smile in his voice, which was so nice with the way my morning went.

"Yeah but we're adults now, I can let you in the front door." He laughed at that one and we were silent for a minute. It was a comforting silence though so it wasn't awkward.

"Jax, I really missed you."

"I missed you too," I felt my heart go on overdrive. Did he really just admit to missing me or was he being nice?

"You know you don't have to tell me what I want to hear. I'm a big girl now I can handle it." I could practically see his eyebrows raise.

"Well believe it or not I did miss you. I feel like none of this bad shit ever happened when I talk to you. Maybe I have a chance at being a good person again." I sighed, this poor man. What he must have been through since I've been gone.

"You're not a bad man, you never have been. Even when you broke my heart into a thousand pieces." He got silence for a minute and I thought he might have hung up. I double checked the screen and he was still there.

"At least one of us feels that way. You know what memory comes to mind when I think about us?" I laughed softly again while playing with my hair. Yupp definitely nineteen again.

"Clay walking in on us in the clubhouse?" He got a kick out of that one.

"No, but remember how the guys ribbed me about it for months about how white my ass was?" I nodded not that he could see.

"Of course, your mom never let me live that down."

"Good times though, but it was the night I got voted in as V.p."

"That was a good night."

"Yeah I think that was one of the happiest nights of my life. I had my club, I had you. You got your crow that night."

"Yeah that was the night, I'll never forget how wasted we got. Remember I had to sneak in through my window to keep my mom from seeing it."

"Yeah how could I forget? You had your ass in my face as I pushed you through the window. Hey I gotta go, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Good night Jax."

"Good night darlin."

A/n: sooo new chapter and its Tuesday! SONS IS TONIGHT! so how do we feel about jax and kandie. What about Tara? I love reviews so let me know what you think