Thank you one and all for your reviews & to everyone who has added this to their favorites and alerts! I give you all hugs and a free ticket for World Peace :o. Oh... and cookies! Can't forge the cookies ;D

Now this chapter really took a mind of it's own while I was writing this o.o. Perhaps because I was lulled by the seductive voices of Shou from Alice Nine and Ruki from the Gazette... hmmm. Anywho, this is rather dark (I'd say) and shows how much Sasuke had changed over the years along with some of the things he had to deal with. Mind you, this is just the tip of the ice berg ;D

Warning: Umm.. Death o.o. But not a main character's death though! So it's all good. And some minor swearing :P

Disclaimer: Puts on a shirt that says I own Naruto & exits out of house- *five minutes later* - Comes back with a "don't" written between "I" and "own" on my shirt" v.v.

Enjoy :3. If you have any questions or comments or constructive criticism don't be afraid to voice them :o.

Chapter Ten: Fallen

"I'm an angel that has fallen from Heaven. My pure white wings are tainted by Evil. I am no longer the boy I was when I left three years ago. What I am now… I don't know. I can't remember." – Sasuke Uchiha, age 17.

Three years. It had been three, long, years since Sasuke had left to train with the legendary nomad, Orochimaru. What he thought would be a fun yet rewarding learning experience was anything but. Orochimaru had opened him up to a world that, at first, scared the living daylights out of him. He was so young at the time and no fourteen year old should have had to seen the things Sasuke had to. However, over time, Sasuke slowly got used to Death and would even say he was quite acquainted with.

After all, it's hard to ignore Death when you're the one that inflicts it.

His body had changed as well over the years. Instead of being short, he was taller and had started to fill out in more places. He had muscles, but they were bulky and protruding. They were there, though, if he flexed you'd be able to see all the hard work Sasuke had put into gaining the muscle mass he had now. His speed had increased exponentially as well, making him harder to hit but his attacks much deadlier. Orochimaru had also taken the time to make his body an indestructible weapon against the strongest of poisons and magic. It was a grueling process. And more times than not Sasuke thought those were his final moments on Earth. Still, his body had managed to become immune and he no longer had to worry about if rebels or other enemies tried to poison him. Strangely enough… every time Sasuke felt like he was at Death's door he would see a spiky mop of blonde hair that seemed to reach for the sun. The owner of that hair's face was always blurred, but never his smile. The smile was what kept on bringing Sasuke back over and over again. It looked so familiar and at the same time so foreign. He tried to wrack his mind around it, where he'd seen it before, only to come up with a blank slate. That infuriated him to no end. Sasuke needed to know things, because who he is If he was left in the dark, or when the dots were not connecting fast enough, he got annoyed. He'd find himself lying in whatever small cot or expensive bed Orochimaru had got them to lodge in for the night thinking about that wonderfully bright smile and that golden mop of hair…

But the light bulb would never ding.

The biggest change that Sasuke went through, though, was his blood lust. Mind you, he still hated killing. He hated knowing that another person's hand other than his own stained his hands. Cleaning the blood of his sword and knives was becoming more and more of a difficult task as his mind mockingly replayed the victim's death over and over again. Their screams for mercy, their attempts to escape, and how he had to stand there and watch it all with a sick smile on his face to appease his "Master". It sickened him to the very core so much he threw up every once in a while. And although he'd be reluctant to admit it… his heart was slowly starting to catch up with his mind that killing was… okay. No. Not like that. It would never be okay. But the warped reality he was forced to live deemed it okay if the man or woman at the end of his blade had done a horrible wrong.

He was becoming cold blooded, ready to kill without a hesitations moment. The more he stared at himself in the cracked mirror, hand reaching out to touch the damaged object and examine his more, matured, face. He couldn't recognize the man that stared back at him…

The first person he had ever killed was a street thug. His name Sasuke would always remember although Orochimaru had told him time and time again that learning the name of a soon-to-be corpse would make it all the harder to kill. He hated that man's sense of logic. Kill to get ahead of the world. Kill to hide your secrets that were spread to the wrong person. Kill for the thrill…

Kaoru. That was his name. He had a wife and a son, almost five. Sasuke only learned this because his mission was to learn everything about the thug, weasel his way into his life, and become… a friend. Only to slice whatever form of camaraderie Sasuke had built with his sword. Kaoru was only a thug to help his family. He never took the big jobs his boss provided like 'taking out the trash'. Kaoru was simply content on picking up money and handling with trade-offs. Sasuke had instantly bonded with the man because they were both involved with something neither one really wanted to get in to the first place.

Finding that common ground made it so hard to end his life…

It was raining that night. Sasuke remembered that day vividly. The rain poured mercilessly on him. Thunder rang through the sky and lightning crackled in the air. His grip tightened on his newest sword, thinking that God must have been angry with what he was about to do. Hence the spontaneous thunderstorm. A few hours before, and Sasuke was considering running out. He was well known in this part of the country they were staying. If he remembered correctly they were staying in Ame(1) for a while because Orochimaru had business to deal with. The Luna Empire would only take a few days by train. He could have escaped. But he didn't. His pride wouldn't let him. The fear that Orochimaru would get angry and find him, possibly leading to a very painful punishment made him stay. He didn't want to kill Kaoru. Kaoru was his friend… he made him feel like he had gained a bit of his humanity. The only reason why he was forced to kill his mind was because he learned something he shouldn't have. And that put Orochimaru's client in a difficult position. So the man had to be killed.

Thunder rang through out the air, the electricity crackled once more in the sky. Sasuke was standing in an alleyway, cloaked by the shadows, his red eyes shining in the darkness. His Sharingan was trained on the outline of his victim. Kaoru always came to this alleyway at nights, allowing the stress of his double life of happy father by day and street thug by night to finally send him into a breakdown. Sasuke's heart went out of the man. It really did. And once more he felt his grip on the sword's handle tighten.

Kill him. Do it now when he's weak.

Being weak will bring you down. You don't need weak people in your life.

Severe the bonds between you two… and use it to make you stronger.

Sasuke gulped. He hated this. He hated this so much that he almost turned around and ran back. Almost. But Orochimaru's voice rang in his mind over and over again.

Kill him, Sasuke-kun. Kill him now.

The raven chewed on the inside of his cheek until he tasted the metallic flavor of blood mix with his saliva. He was going to hate himself for this in the morning. But he couldn't stop himself from unsheathing his sword and raising it high above his head. He was going to hate himself so much… but he had to steel his heart. He had to stop those feelings of regret and remorse from what he was about to do. Strength wouldn't come to the weak.

As he forced his apprehensions aside, Luck decided to play a cruel twist of fate. Kaoru, the after effects of his breakdown making him shiver, turned to him with eyes rimmed in red and tear stains on his cheeks. At first he looked scared. His eyes widened in fear and shock at seeing his 'friend' raising a sword towards him. But then a strange sense of peace washed over him as he stared into the face of Death.

"Sasuke." He nodded, almost coming to terms that his life was about to come to an end so short.

Sasuke gulped, his grip on his sword handle tightened, and he lowered it a little. "Kaoru." He voice was a whisper; however it traveled through the air and reached Kaoru.

The man smiled a little. "You've come to kill me, huh?"

He couldn't find his voice to answer.

Kaoru chuckled, although it was empty and void of emotion. "I knew my days were limited. Who would have thought I'd die at the hands of my friend?"

That was a stab right in the heart. He had called him a friend, still thought of him as a companion. Why in the world was Life so cruel? Why could he had just stayed in the Luna Empire and grown stronger on his own. This wasn't worth it. Strength couldn't be worth this much if it meant killing a friend…

Kill him. Do it now.

"Thank you." Another stab to the heart. Sasuke lowered his sword fully as the man did the unexpected. He hugged him. Outright hugged him as if he was saying goodbye. When they parted, Kaoru was crying again, but this time with a smile. "You were a good friend. It was nice to have someone to unload all my heavy baggage on. I know you have your reasons… but promise me you'll never tell my family about what I did. Please? That's a secret I'll carry to my grave…"

'It's alright if I'm killed by your hands.'

Sasuke held back the tears that were fighting to break through the surface. Forcing back his hesitation, he plunged his sword into Kaoru's stomach, twisted, and then extracted it. Kaoru's blood stained the blade, and Sasuke had to watch with a steeled expression as he friend fell to the floor with that peaceful smile still on his face.

Sasuke was only fifteen then when he first killed.

For the first time in fifteen years Sasuke had openly cried, though his sobs were silent.

Feeling the guilt wash over him, Sasuke did his best to push back those feelings. To stay strong and sturdy for he knew his 'Master' was watching him from the shadows. He couldn't leave Kaoru's body like this though. So he did what was right and closed the man's eyes, whispered a few prayers, and placed his body against a wall. That was all he could do.

After that, Sasuke no longer went far enough to become friends with his victims. And if he did, he never used his real name. Less familiarity that way when it came time to kill them.

A few months at a time Sasuke would send half of how much he earned working with Orochimaru to Kaoru's family as an anonymous benefactor. It was the only thing he thought of that could someone cleanse his sins.

But as the rain poured down on him, mixing in with the blood on his blade and the blood on the ground, Sasuke knew he'd never get forgiveness. That this man's death would always be on his hands, as countless others would.

What made him feel the worst, though, was the sickly satisfying grin he saw on Orochimaru's face when he reported about his first, successful, kill.

Now, Sasuke could say with a sick calmness that killing was second nature to him now. Granted it wasn't his first option. But when he felt his life was in danger, or when he was sent on missions by his 'Master' Sasuke killed without a second's hesitation. He was growing into the perfect killing machine…

+Eclipse: What Have I Become?+

He had that dream again.

The dream when he's leading a beautiful blonde in a Waltz. Though their version was a lot sloppier than what they were originally taught. He saw himself laughing, like there wasn't a care in the world as he held the blonde in his arms. This dream was becoming a reoccurrence. The emotions he felt in his surreal reality seemed so real that Sasuke had to wonder if it actually happened and wasn't a figment of his warped imagination.

Holding the blonde in his arms felt so right. So… so real. That Sasuke wished it was a reality, rather than not. The laughter that surrounded them enveloped him in warmth that he desperately yearned for. However, although they were surrounded by so many people, Sasuke felt as though it was just him in the blonde dancing to the music that filled the ballroom.

Just him and the blonde…

They laughed. They smiled. They shared words that Sasuke couldn't hear, but the strange sense of familiarity never left him. And every morning when he woke up from that same dream, Sasuke found his arms stretched out wide towards the ceiling as if he were trying to grasp something.

+Eclipse+

After a grueling sparing session with Kabuto – he hated that man to the fullest – Sasuke collapsed on a bench, a sweat breaking out. The man was a sneaky bastard and had faked an attack him quicker than Sasuke could block. Instant K.O. He'd get Kabuto back for that later.

"Too slow." Kabuto smiled innocently.

"Too cocky." Sasuke shot right back. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Kabuto's superiority complex.

The man shrugged and left the room after that, much to Sasuke's enjoyment. He wanted to gym to himself so he could unleash his pent up frustrations on an unlucky punching bag. This would be their last week until New Years. The weather was harsh outside, but the gym was properly kept at room temperature. Perhaps it was because Orochimaru was more snake than human and any hotter would mean the death of him? Whatever the reason was, Sasuke didn't complain. All he wanted really was to wipe off his sweat and get a quick swig of his water before finding a sandbag.

A quick swig of water turned into huge gulps that left him craving more. Still, if he drank anymore he'd probably never want to come off from the bench again. Sighing, he capped his water bottle and went over to the many sandbags that were hanging over in the corner. He went for the sturdiest, biggest, and most durable one and started his onslaught. When he was training by himself, using a sandbag, training with his sword, or just going out for a run. Anything that kept him away from Orochimaru enough so he could just focus on himself was what Sasuke loved. It gave him the chance to either get his thoughts in order or erase his thoughts all together.

Today… he wanted to get his thoughts in order.

Recently he had started to think why he went with Orochimaru in the first place. Every time he tried to think back to the day he left three days ago, the night before was always a blur. Something gnawed at his mind that he was missing a very important piece to the puzzle, but he just couldn't find it. He had tried to ask Kabuto, but the man was as elusive as a snake and managed to dodge the question with great skill. Orochimaru was the same, saying that it didn't matter what happened. He was there now and couldn't change that. Somehow, he felt like they were keeping something from him. And he had every right to think that.

He had to have talked to his family the night before, right? Said goodbye to his friends before the long separation? Yet he couldn't remember anything. All he remembered was the mini-party his father threw celebrating the day his training would start. But even that was blurry.

So, that lead him to wonder why he had joined Orochimaru in the first place. Were his reasons for leaving selfish or were they for the sake of someone else? Sasuke always leaned on the former because he could never remember anyone he had grown closer enough – asides his brother – that he would put his selfish desires out-of-the-way for that one person. But nowadays, he was starting to think that the former was true.

His dreams told him as such.

The boy with the golden blonde hair and a smile like the sun. Dancing in the ballroom with the blonde to their own version of the waltz. And a most recent one – the forest. He didn't know why he was in the forest to begin with, but he just let the dream play out for itself. Cloaked in a black robe, Sasuke was engaged in a conversation with the same blonde from all his other dreams, but this one was much younger. He remembered all the sensations Dream Sasuke had. The wanting to kill the blonde yet he couldn't because it would go against his initial plans. Then the scene shifted to a tiger with white fur highlighted in purple and three tails. The tiger lashed out at both of them, and Sasuke only felt the need to protect the blonde over take him. After that the scene went back to both him and the blonde, but this time they had scars on alternating arms, and smiles on their faces.

Sasuke stopped his barrage of attacks to stare down at his left arm. That scar was still there, throbbing against his skin as if it was calling out to him. He couldn't remember when or when he got that scar until now. Fighting in the forest against that target to save the blonde. The blonde that always kept reappearing in his dreams over again. The blonde he sought for unconsciously, wanting to know everything about him and why he never left his mind. He felt like that blonde meant more to him than what he already knows. Sasuke even thought that the blonde could bring back his humanity…

"Fuck…" he slammed a punch at the sandbag. It hit the opposing wall with a loud 'bang' and the sand started to spill from the small crack that formed from the force of the punch. Sasuke dropped to the ground slowly, forcing his eyes shut to keep away the tears. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to get frustrated. He couldn't. This was his life now. Those dreams were nothing more but figments created in his mind to torture him. They couldn't be real. Not if he had no recollection of them ever happening. But that still didn't explain how genuine those feelings felt every time he had those dreams.

His scar throbbed painfully now, causing Sasuke to hiss and grab his left on. It throbbed and it throbbed, forcing Sasuke to remember. He hissed once more as another painful throb danced along his mouth and a name popped into his head. Seven syllables. So familiar yet so strange. It wanted to be voiced. It wanted Sasuke to say its name, over and over again until he accepted it was real.

Sasuke slumped forward, breathing heavily as the scar kept on throbbing and throbbing…

"Naruto Uzumaki…"

That was all he needed. The name sent his walls crashing down one by one. He still didn't recognize the name, but the face of the blonde in his dreams suddenly became clearer. His memories were still jumbled; still he realized that the Naruto Uzumaki was the same blonde that kept bubbling over and over again in his mind. He said the name. He said it until his throat was raw and his lips were chapped.

He said the name until it became real to him.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

Little did he know that Kabuto was watching from the doorway with a scowl on his face. The door was cracked opened slightly so he could watch and hear everything Sasuke said. His face was overtaken by the shadow as he slowly closed the door, leaving Sasuke to drown his puddle of his tears and wails. He shook his head as he walked to find Orochimaru to tell him that his little protégé was starting to slip.

"And after all the years we took to break him too… What a shame."

+Eclipse+

They decided to take a carriage back to the Luna Empire – the more under the radar incase any one of Orochimaru's enemies decided to attack. Kabuto played it off as taking the 'scenic route' but Sasuke had hotly shot back that they could see a lot of the 'scenic route' if they had taken the express train.

"After three years you're finally heading home." Kabuto turned around in his seat next to Orochimaru and plastered the fakest smile Sasuke had ever seen on the man's face. "Excited?"

Sasuke shrugged his face completely passive. Over the years he had also learn to hide his emotions from people. "Not really." Lie.

"Are you sure? I'd thought for sure you'd want to show off how much stronger you've gotten."

Another shrug, "Not really." Indifferent.

Orochimaru simply frowned at Kabuto and forced him to sit down. "Do not annoy Sasuke-kun any further, Kabuto." He leaned in closer to whisper in the man's ear, "Or else face punishment later on tonight…"

Sasuke shivered vividly. He truly found the sight of Orochimaru repulsive now that he thought of it. Screw him being a legend! And screw him again for making him as strong as he was! It felt great to have such power but it didn't mean anything if he couldn't remember the reason why he wanted it in the first place. Lord knew it didn't help that Orochimaru had tried to make a few passes at him over the years.

Kabuto, who found the idea of being punished a turned on, risked his ass by turning back around again and speaking once more. "I must say, Sasuke. You shouldn't frown like that. After all…" the corners of his lips perked up deviously. His next words were laced with a dangerous intent, "you're going to be in for one, unforgettable, reunion."

(1) Ame = Rain in Japanese. That's what Google Translate told me, so correct me if I'm wrong.

Is Sasuke suffering from amnesia :o? Lmfao, I don't even know! Like I said this chapter took a mind of its own o.o. Liike, I didn't even plan for Sasuke to have his memories all fucked up, but it works in my favor anyway 8D

NYAPPY WORLD! Sorry, that songs playing through grooveshark right now. Go An Cafe! LISTEN TO IT :O. IT GETS YOU PUMPED YO!

Now then, next chapter shall be the Reunion between Sasuke and Naruto. Hmm.. wonder how that'll go down.

Till next time eh ;D.

*I'm thinking of changing my name to PANDAmonium... only b/c my new avatar is a panda... LMFAO. But it might not happen :3.*