Ch 10

Hermione spent the next two days staunchly avoiding her friends and Blaise at the same time. She left the common room early enough that no one else would be awake to catch her, and hid in secret passageways between classes when she could be caught by Blaise. The only person she didn't go out of her way to avoid was Draco Malfoy, who, for some odd reason never showed up when she wanted him to. After his warning to her about Blaise's increasingly volatile behavior during transfiguration, Draco ignored her for the rest of the class session and then rushed out at the end, only to disappear when she ran after him, earning strange looks from her classmates.

Draco Malfoy could not however, hide for long. One night as Hermione was sneaking back towards Griffyndor tower much too late for anyone to be out of bed and wandering about, she found him. She rounded a corner to find him pacing back and forth in front of the room of requirement. She stood back and watched him think of a room before the door appeared and allowed him to enter. She slipped in before the door could lock her out.

Hermione was disappointed at what she found. She expected some grand, dark, castle like place or whatever it is that wild Draco's thought they deserved out of life. Instead she only found a big plush red couch in front of a very large roaring fireplace with a fluffy black carpet laying in between the two. All around her was darkness, the only thing she could see was the small comfortable looking setting in front of her, as well as a furious and tired looking Malfoy staring at her with fire in his eyes.

"How the hell did you find me?" He asked brusquely.

"I was on my way to bed and..." Hermione trailed off. She didn't really know why she had followed him in to the room. She didn't know why she wasn't avoiding him. She didn't know why she was looking for him every single place she went, as if he was some missing piece of some part of her that even she couldn't identify. "Why are you avoiding me? Why did you tell me about Blaise? I just...I just want to understand."

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He turned and stared at Hermione for so long that she began to back towards the door. "Sit down," he said.

Hermione wasn't sure what came over her but she walked towards his cozy little setting, letting the warmth of the fire calm her. She sat down on the other end of the couch as far as she could get from him.

"I don't know why I'm doing any of the things I'm doing. I guess I'm just tired of people getting away with doing terrible things."

"Really?" Hermione asked, "Because I seem to recall that you love to do terrible things. You love to taunt and tease. Hurt people's feelings, break them down until they run and cry. Is this some sudden change of heart? Because I do not believe it."

"Of course you don't, because it's not. I'm not talking about puling pigtails and making girls cry. I'm talking about rape."

At that word Hermione flinched. "He did not...rape me." She said with both vehemence and hesitation. "Oh he tried, but I'm a powerful witch, I was able to get away and here I am, fine as a daisy."

Draco snorted, "Yeah, right. Choking yourself with your shirts, avoiding all contact with men, flinching at every unexpected thing. Yes Granger, you are perfectly fine. Except for you're not. I realize that he didn't get his way, but obviously what happened rattled you, and if I can see it, then he's thriving on it."

"Why are telling me all this?" She said loudly. "What do you care?"

"I care because he won't give up!" Draco yelled. He stood from the couch and hovered over her now cowering form. "He is sick and determined. You made a fool of him that night! In his eyes he just can't let that stand. He isn't just going to continue to taunt you, you stupid girl. All your attempts at modesty and being invisible are only feeding his fire. He knows that you're scared and he will keep stoking those flames until he gets what he wants! And do you know what he wants Granger?" He paused, waiting for an actual answer.

"M-me. He wants me." Hermione could feel tears running down her face.

"Yes, you stupid girl. He wants you and he won't give up until he has you crying, cowering, bloody at his feet. He's just like all these other pureblooded, elitist monsters. He wants you to kiss the ground he's walked on and then scrub it away because it's filthy. He wants to take advantage of you and not feel remorse. He wants what he wants, and he doesn't feel even an inkling of regret."

"So what are you saying? That you aren't some pureblooded, elitist monster? That you don't want those things?" Hermione could hear the whimpering tone of her own voice, but could not manage to stop it.

"Oh I'm a pureblood, I'm an elitist, and I'm a nasty git for sure, but I would never stoop to their level. You are someone's daughter, sister, friend, cousin, niece, it doesn't even matter. If anything like this had happened to my own mother, my own friends, my own people, I would be livid. I would be sickened."

"So that's why you wouldn't do it to someone else. You'd think that person a vile monster. So you wouldn't want to be one yourself."

"Exactly. I was wondering when that brain of yours was going to come back." Draco sat back down, this time on the plush carpet. "He won't stop. Not until he has his way."

They both sat in silence after that. Staring in to the flames, just thinking their separate thoughts, content to just stop for a moment and breathe. Finally Hermione wiped the tears from her face and sunk down to the carpet next to Draco, much closer than she had intended. He didn't seem to notice she'd moved, so she put a hand on his arm.

"Thank you," She said when he whipped around to look at her. "I just don't know what to do. How to feel. I'm scared all the time, and I feel like what happened is my fault, like I provoked him somehow-"

"You did no such thing," he interrupted. "He's just a slimy toad with no fear of consequences." He turned to face her completely. He looked her over, she was shaking a bit, still wired from their yelling. "You know that makes him dangerous. It makes him unpredictable."

"I know." Hermione then did something she would have previously thought absurd. She put her arms around Draco Malfoy and hugged him. "So thank you, if for no other reason than not being like him. Thank you for being better, and not letting me go unawares."

Draco had no idea what to do with a muggleborn witch wrapped around him. It made him uncomfortable. Despite what he taunts, he knows she's not dirty. In fact he could smell her shampoo since her hair was absolutely everywhere. Berries. He quite enjoyed the smell. He took a moment and let himself do something very out of character for himself. He reached out and hugged her back. Held her head to his chest as she began to cry again, though he had no idea why. But he let her. He let her get rid of her pent up fears and frustrations all over the front of his best school robe, and he didn't let himself question it. Eventually Hermione cried herself to sleep, and without letting himself think about it, he wished for some pillows and the room provided. He gently guided Hermione down to the soft and fluffy carpet and let her keep her arms around him as the fire died down to warming embers and he fell into a deep sleep.

AN: Wow, has it really been four years since I started this story? It doesn't feel like it, but I guess I believe it. I was getting ready to graduate high school when I started this, now I'm getting ready for my Junior year of college. Weird. Well the writing bug suddenly hit me. I have ideas, and an itch to write.

I'm gonna try to use some of the fun psycholology things I've been drowning myself in for the past two years in this story, it's a simple enough exploration of the mind of a girl who doesn't understand how to handle her trauma. And yeah, I know nothing actually happened, but for someone as strong and sure of herself and her abilities as Hermione is, an attack like that, even having escaped from it, is completely jarring. It makes her question every bit of herself and the things she thought were true. And the fact that her attacker is still antagonizing her makes things stranger for her to process. And then Draco, delving in to his mind is pretty interesting. I know he's out of character here, but he'll be back to his mean as a 6 year old self soon enough. As sad as the thought is, people do not have the ability to suddenly change all their thoughts, beliefs, and ways of living over night. It'll be a battle.

I hope I can convey all my analysis of them in this story well. I hope I can make everyone's transitions believable. And I hope I can finish this before I go back to school mid-August. Wish me luck, and thank you for only hating me a little bit (I hope)!