AN - I BOUGHT A FRIGGIN HOUSE. What a weekend. Here's a chapter to celebrate. As per usual, hoorayimuseful. tumblr .com for updates and renders related to this and other fics. Speaking of other fics, I've now got three on the go including this one, hit up my profile for some more flighty flighty goods. Like, subscribe, comment!
"This is the exact reason why I didn't want to tell you about Oerba, 'Nille," Fang groaned as the redhead scowled and removed the scanner. She was hushed by the still angry young Pulsian, who took a large needle from a tray and brought it around. "Uh, Vanille. There's… No need for that."
Vanille glared at her and covered the brunette's mouth with her hand. "You don't get to tell me what there's a need for. You turned into Ragnarok for Etro's sake, Fang! I didn't even think any of that was possible let alone something you could do in the blink of an eye! What if it happens again?"
Lightning stood in the doorway, watching the redhead yelling at her sister while she took a blood sample. She cleared her throat in a weak attempt to announce her presence, and Vanille whirled around with a glare. "And don't you even start." She snapped, pointing an accusatory finger at the soldier, "She turned into Ragnarok, and you nearly got yourself branded again! Both of you nearly died! I swear you're as bad as each other when it comes to rushing into things. You've both got the heads of a behemoth."
Fang was certain she had never seen Vanille so angry in all her life. It came from a place of fear and love combined, but it was still something that shocked her. Lightning felt like it was a taste of what it was like on the other side of the fence, not subject to Serah's wrath for once.
If you think you're going alone into the wilds to check out these alleged hidden cities in the west, I'll kill you myself before you even leave the city boundaries."
The two women stared at the young Pulsian as she placed the needle gently on the tray, now filled with an extraordinary amount of blood before she slammed the nearby drawer shut and stormed from the room. Fang scratched at her arm where a small cotton strip was now placed over it and sat quietly.
"She's right you know," Lightning called out from her spot by the doorway, unfolding her arms and walking over. She took Fang by the jaw and leant down to kiss her gently. There was no initial reaction from the Pulsian, still feeling stiff from her berating from her sibling. Lightning ran her hands underneath the sari, trailing her fingers along the defined abdomen and gave a gentle bite to the pout the brunette wore. Hearing a pleasurable gasp, she got the reaction she was seeking once the affection was finally returned. "We are both seriously stubborn people."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
"Well, we're also too stubborn to die at least."
Fang snorted at the truth of the statement and leant back, resting her weight on her arms. "Vanille gets her wish regardless of whether I have the itch to just take you and disappear into the wilderness alone." She paused and enjoyed the involuntary shiver from the woman in her arms. She seemed to like the idea as well. "If we're looking to do this, retrofit an old war vessel, we can't do it alone anyway. The ship needs a crew."
The pinkette smiled and ran her fingers lazily through the dark hair, an action that was fast becoming one of her most favourite things to do with the Pulsian. "So now we get to be pirates?" She asked, an amused smile on her face.
"Sky Pirates," Fang corrected her with a quick kiss before leaping off the bench. Rolling her shoulder and wiggling her fingers to get some movement back post needling, she was ready to get as far away from the lab and Vanille's wrath as possible. She hesitated by the door, turning to find Lightning by her side.
Not content with the lack of closeness she slipped her hand into her companion's, seeing the light blush on her face. Fang wasn't entirely sure if Lightning was entirely prepared to "go public" so began to withdraw her hand, only to find the pinkette's grip tighten. She raised an eyebrow in question, and saw a small grin threatening to tug at the soldier's lips.
"Leave it. Knowing Vanille she's already told my sister."
Fang sat in the doorway of the aircraft, legs dangling out the side while Sazh made another slow pass of the Hanging Edge. They'd been scouring the junkyard for what felt like hours, trying to find a warship and the scraps that could put the old hunk of metal back together. She munched on a sandwich Lightning had made her while deep in thought. She stared at the horizon in the distance, wondering what they'd find.
Whether or not they'd find anyone alive, let alone potentially hostile was anyone's guess. How safely could they make the long trip across the world and back with antiquated technology? Would the Cocoonians be able to retrofit it and get it airworthy? She certainly hoped so. But then, there was the additional task of getting someone to fly the scrapheap, the controls vastly different to anything she'd seen on any Viper vessel.
"You know, we'd understand if you didn't want to come old man, but we definitely need a captain for this ship once it's built." She mused, not hearing over the sound of the jet engines but knowing he scoffed all the same.
"You're kidding, right? I got my son back, I got a life again, and you're wanting to drag me along on another life-threatening adventure?"
"You'd miss us too much dad. Who'd keep Fang out of trouble if you're not around?" Vanille chirped from the seat beside him, and he chuckled in agreement. The brunette stuck her tongue out from her spot in the doorway before a gleaming metal structure caught her eye.
"Oooh there's a big girl down there, I think we might have hit our payday," Fang called out, leaning dangerously out of the craft. She pulled out her communicator and flicked the switch. "Hey gorgeous, I think I might have a present for you. Wanna thank me for it later?"
Nothing but crackling came down the earpiece for a few moments, before a long drawn out sigh. "Fang, this is a public channel, must you?" Lightning chastised, voice exasperated. It was the Pulsian's favourite kind of tone, second only to the one reserved for only her and in the bedroom. "What have you found?"
"Huge chunk of shiny that looks to be an intact hull. Could be a winner?" She replied with a grin, peering over the surface with the binoculars. She marked it on the map and waved to Sazh to set his ship down. As the craft settled in with a comfortable landing, Fang leapt off the platform she was seated on and walked briskly over to the hull.
It dwarfed her in size, from the air it didn't look so imposing but now that she was standing before it… If they excavated the rest of it, presuming it was intact, they'd have a sizeable ship for their expedition. It was wedged into the earth at an angle, the bow of the ship sticking high into the air like the entire craft had been hurled at the ground like a spear. With her lance in hand, she stuck it into the nearby rusted door and wrenched it open. She was getting royally sick and tired of using her weapon as a crowbar. The door fell back with a screech of steel and she poked her head inside.
"Fang, wait until Lightning gets here, will you? For Etro's sake…" Vanille called into her comms unit, which of course the brunette steadfastly ignored.
"Yeah yeah. Because gods forbid I'll have to explain to the superiors about running into the officers on the ship still alive and br-" a skeleton falling from a bulkhead as she opened another door startled her into silence, watching it fall into the darkness below. It still had the tattered rags of a Pulsian officer uniform, and Fang couldn't help but swallow hard. It was one thing facing the ghosts of her past in this relic, but wasn't expecting the bones of her memories to be so literal.
Still, she pressed on towards the bridge, forced to climb at awkward angles from how the ship was partially buried in the ground. Fang knew she'd get into trouble but she would face the lectures later. There was something pulling at her, that she needed to be the first before any Cocoonians set foot in the vessel. Her jaw set at the corpses she passed, some with still the scarcest remnants of skin still hanging off the bone. It was strange to see something so surprisingly intact, Pulsian script over many surfaces, memories clawing their way to the surface as she passed them. Her breath caught at the sight of a few names over the stations, a couple of them were of her own clan.
Up ahead Fang spied the door to the bridge, and she had hoped that it wasn't sealed shut. It had gotten progressively darker the higher into the ship she climbed, as there was less structural damage that allowed sunlight to enter through the gashes in the metal. She pulled out her light bar from her belt while she hung from a railing with one hand, fumbling around with the device until she managed to switch it on and pulled it up towards the door.
She stifled a horrified gasp and nearly lost her grip on the bar that was keeping her from falling a very long way down to her death. Old, dried blood covered the walls and doors, smeared over the steel in a desperate fashion. However, it was what was beneath the blood that was the cause of her distress. A mural, an artistic rendering of the world ender herself. Ragnarok.
The painting was faded, scratched in places like someone had tried to scrape it off. It had been vandalised, before the vessel had met its end at the hands of the greedy Fal'Cie, presumably by the ship's crew themselves. It didn't take a genius to figure out why.
Her arm burnt again, though she couldn't tell if it was because she'd been hanging off the metal bar for too long or because Ragnarok was roiling beneath her skin, seeking to be released at the insult that she wasn't strong enough to do what needed to be done.
"Fang? Fang are you there?" Lightning's hurried voice broke her from her thoughts, realising that she was near hyperventilating. She tapped her comms device in her ear and sighed.
"Yeah I'm here, what?" She croaked, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears.
"Fang I've been calling for the last five minutes, where were you?"
The brunette gave the door a once over and then began to drop back to the bulkheads below, back towards the entrance. She'd seen enough. She landed with a thud against the steel and winced as the impact jarred through her body. Lightning was standing in the doorway, no amount of concern written on her face. Fang merely strode past her, her expression dark.
"Interference. The ship is fine, excavate it."
She blew past the pinkette without any further response, walking away down one of the paths that led from the site towards the rest of the Hanging Edge. Vanille and Sazh jogged over, watching her leave with confusion.
"Where's tall and gruff headed?" Sazh asked, pointing at the brunette's tense exit. Lightning stared after her with a frown.
"I'm not sure. She wasn't responding to me earlier. I think something in there must have rattled her." She replied, handing out a couple of grav-units to the other two and disappearing inside. She peered up at the darkness above her and sighed. "Guess we're climbing again."
Vanille gripped the device in her hands and followed in. "Doesn't this bring back memories Sazh?" She asked cheerfully, though her eyes betrayed her concern. He huffed and ignored her, not interested in reminiscing on their traumatic days on the run. Lightning was already up further in the ship, inhaling sharply at the sight of the skeletons.
"Vanille, Sazh, there's… Bodies here. What's left of them anyway. Just forewarning." She called out. They climbed in a tense silence until they came to the same huge doors that impeded Fang's earlier path. A gasp from behind her caused her to turn as Vanille's torch landed on the artwork.
"Oh.. Fang…" the redhead said quietly, the pain evident in her tone. Lightning followed her sorrow-filled gaze to the mural she was staring at and her breath caught in her throat.
"Vanille… What does it say?" She asked, hesitant for the answer. Lightning averted her eyes, tears stinging at the edges of her vision as the young redhead translated the words with a shaking voice. The Pulsian scrawl was crude, calling Ragnarok every name under the sun. Marked as a traitor, a betrayer, the herald of Gran Pulse's destruction. She knew that Vanille never really thought of herself as Ragnarok, but Fang on the other hand… Well, she had seen the brunette take on the form on more than one occasion now, so it made sense that she'd take the aggression to heart. She simply let go of the railing, allowing herself to fall through the narrow upturned walkway of the ship and let her grav-unit take care of the landing. Lightning sprinted from the ship, signalling to the others to begin marking the ship for excavation and took off in the direction she'd seen Fang disappear.
To her knowledge, the Pulsian hadn't been to the Hanging Edge before, so was uncertain if she had a specific direction in mind or if she was just wandering the paths. The trail of destroyed worker mechs left in her wake at least gave the pinkette something to follow. Her breath quickened in her lungs as she searched, her chest constricting with worry. She found Fang was always quick to blame herself for what happened, even after the revelations that their people could have survived. Rounding a corner, Lightning came upon her destination and skidded to a halt.
There was Fang, sitting quietly and staring off into the distance. The pinkette carefully sat down and looked out at the broken shell of Cocoon, the ruins of Bodhum barely visible. They sat in silence, though Lightning could practically feel the tension pouring from the brunette in waves.
Fang clenched her teeth and closed her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it." She growled, refusing to look at the soldier that sat beside her.
"You don't have to say anything. I'm here regardless. I'm not going anywhere, unless you want space. Whatever you need. But it wasn't your fault. You've shouldered the burden of Cocoon too many times now. And I... I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm glad you're here with me now."
There was a noticeable slump in Fang's shoulders at the pinkette's words. "Is it wrong of me to agree? That my inability to fulfil my focus condemned an entire population to death, but I would never have had you in my life if I'd succeeded? Gods. I'm such a hypocrite."
Time spent over the last while with the Pulsian had meant Lightning knew that in this state, Fang would not be open to physical contact so kept her distance while still remaining near. She leant forward to manoeuvrer herself further into the brunette's line of vision. "You weren't to blame for what happened to Gran Pulse. All of that was the doing of Barthandelus and his endless games. Life would have ended here with or without you, Fang. I know it doesn't make it any easier to hear it but what's done is done. You're here with me now."
Fang simply nodded, not willing to speak for the lump in her throat. They sat there for the remainder of the afternoon, just being in each others' presence.
It wasn't until far later in the evening when they were back at home that the events finally caught up with Fang in a drastic way. She tossed and turned in the bed, unable to sleep with far too much on her mind. Continuously flexing her fingers, like she was checking that they were still intact, the Pulsian sighed at the ceiling.
She rolled over for the countless time that night and opened her eyes to check on the pinkette that lay beside her. She was startled by the cerulean eyes staring back at her, but there was a lifeless quality to the gaze that frightened her. It didn't look right. They were unfocused and distant, like they were looking through her. Fang sat up and reached out as her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She screamed as she found the bed soaked in blood. Lightning's blood.
Her hands sharpened into the claws of the beast that fought it's way to the surface. A choked sob escaped her throat and she fell out of the bed, scrambling back against the wall. Ragnarok was the mindless beast of nothing but rage and suffering that was hell-bent on destroying Cocoon and anything from it. And she had just destroyed the only thing in her life that held any meaning.
Lightning sat bolt upright in bed the moment she heard the scream. Fang was on her hands and knees on the floor, gasping for breath.
"Fang..." She called out cautiously, sliding off the bed and taking slow but sure steps towards the brunette. Wild, disoriented eyes darted around the room, like she was trying to discern where the voice was coming from. The pinkette shuffled forward and she gasped at the stark white that had overtaken Fang's irises.
"Shit.." Lightning cursed under her breath and reached out for her. "Fang! Come on... Snap out of it for fucks sake..." She bit her lip and drew her hand back. "Sorry for this..." the pinkette whispered and struck Fang in the face. It seemed to do the trick, and those jade eyes Lightning had fallen for returned with a rasping breath.
"What... What the... Light..? You're not... You're not dead..." The Pulsian sobbed, clutching at her shirt until it practically tore the fabric. There was no trace of injury, the bed sheets behind them pristine as they always were to the pinkette's impeccable standard. It had been so vivid, so real. She thought she could still feel the blood on her hands and she scratched at her skin in an attempt to rid herself of the feeling.
"No, I'm not... Fang, what's going on?" Lightning asked, though for all the good it did may as well have asked an adamantoise for the mysteries of life. The brunette just sobbed into her neck, completely inconsolable. Her jaw throbbed, her eyes burnt and she couldn't get her breathing under control.
"Fang, look at me." Lightning said firmly, pushing back and cradling her face in her hands. "I'm here. Ok? Whatever it was, it was a dream. I'm here. I'm not leaving you." She assured her, stroking her face with her thumbs in a vain attempt to wipe the torrent of tears away.
It took a long time for Fang to finally calm down, and allowed Lightning to get up and fix her a drink. Where she was expecting the pinkette to return with a couple of steaming mugs in hand, she couldn't help the mild amusement when she placed down two glasses and a bottle of some Cocoonian liquor.
"No tea?" She asked wryly, her voice feeling strained in her throat. A short huff came from Lightning as she sat down on the floor and leant back against the wall, pouring the drinks.
"Figured we both needed something a little stronger. You back with me? Sorry I had to... Smack you out of it earlier."
Fang nodded slowly, her head pounding from her earlier outburst of emotion. She smiled slightly as she picked up the glass and watched Lightning do the same, both downing the alcohol in one shot.
"So..." Lightning began, choosing her words very carefully around the now fragile Pulsian, "That scrawl back in the ship? That's not on you. People lash out, look for things to blame when things seem hopeless instead of figuring out how to move forward." She continued, leaning down and resting her head on Fang's shoulder. "It doesn't matter if you didn't fulfil your original focus. It wasn't what ended everyone. The Fal'Cie blinded both sides to their true intentions of the war."
"So much needless death... They all died thinking I was the reason for it." The Pulsian muttered sadly, staring at her glass as Lightning dutifully refilled it.
"You're right, it was needless death. But we've found a way to stop it. To break the cycle. And we couldn't have done it without you. I... Couldn't have done it without you." She added with barely a whisper. She felt Fang lean her head against the wall before turning and planting a gentle kiss on her scalp.
"Just when I think I'm out of the woods with this crap, something else resurfaces and drags me back in. That was the first nightmare I've had in months." Fang finally said with a sigh. "I thought I'd... Gods, if I'd become Ragnarok again..."
"You... Were... Well on your way when I woke up. Your eyes were completely white and... Um..."
Silence descended between them until Fang shifted forward and put her head in her hands. Thanking the Gods that it was just a dream that the pinkette was dead, but cursing them that it was vivid enough to spur on the changes all the same.
"Shit... What am I gonna do, Light?" she croaked, running her fingers through her own hair with a ragged breath. She attempted to blink the tears from her eyes and it alleviated some of the overwhelming emotional strain.
Lightning took her by the jaw, stroking her thumb delicately along where she'd had to hit her earlier, hearing the slight hiss from the Pulsian.
"What we are going to do is figure it out together." She replied, resolute in her desire to help. She remained quiet and pensive until she looked over with a smile. "What was it like, the first time you used any magic after you were branded? It was hard right? All power no control. But it got easier as you went along, the more you used it. You could control it, refine it, direct it to your target. What we are going to do is learn how to control it."
Fang moved away from her, visibly recoiling at the idea. "Have you gone mad, Lightning?" She seethed, the very concept of forcing the change outrageous to hear. "What if something happens? What if I don't come back? What if-"
"Where you go, I go." Lightning interjected with a finger over the brunette's lips. "We will fight this together. But we can't run from this. Or Ragnarok is going to win out and then someone is going to get hurt. I love you, Fang. I'm not letting you go that easily."
The Pulsian sat in silence, astonished and gaping at the admission. She pulled the soldier close and kissed her on the forehead.
"Ok. Ok. I trust you. And I... I... love you too, Light."