Title: Lost
Rating: R
Warnings: This story includes adult topics such as; child abuse, child molestation, yaoi (1x2 and some 3x4/13x5), self-mutilation, rape, and death. This is also an AU fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing.
Summary: When they were seven, Heero and Duo were inseparable. Then one day, Duo was taken by Social Services. Now, ten years later, Heero is a high school senior, when Duo suddenly finds his way back into his life. The problem? Duo doesn't remember anything from his childhood.

Thanks To The Reviewers
Lisha: Of course there's good there! It may not know when to show up, but its there!
Shori Musei: Aw, you risked getting in trouble for me! Don't do it again, I can always wait for the review.
Solo: lol are you having fun?
Link Worshiper: Yeah, Heero's there, and screwed up last chapter. So this is an angsty chapter.
LadyDragonWolfKnight: No, that's not when he died. He died when Duo was seven and he was only five in that flashback.
Princess2000204: I know! I'd hate to live with some of those memories.
Hikaru: Is this quick enough? I have a lot of stuff to work on besides this.
RekiaReuim: This chapter will have more angst then the last one.
PATTY 40: I'm writing as fast as I can. I just have so much to work on.
jaded:soul: I'm glad you like it.
Zachana: I'm glad you like it so much!

Notes: I need more reviews!!...or at least I need more other reviewers back!

Chapter Nine

 Heero sat at his normal lunch table, head buried in his arms. It had been three days since he took Duo back to his old house, and since they got back, the other boy hadn't said two words to him. The Japanese boy knew he screwed up when he yelled. The look on the other boys face told him that much. Sighing, Heero looked up as Quatre walked over to the table and sat next to him.

"What's wrong with Duo?" Quatre asked, genuine worry written in his features.

"I think I scared him," Heero muttered, resting his head on his arms again.

"How did you do that?" Quatre questioned.

"I yelled at him," Heero stated.

"What?! Why did you do that!?" Quatre almost yelled.

Heero sighed. "I was getting frustrated. He was getting frustrated. We were frustrated together. Only he was going into hysterics instead of taking it out on someone."

"Which you did," Quatre snapped then sighed. "Heero, how could you do this to him?"

"I don't know!" Heero exclaimed. "It just happened!"

"You better find a way to make it up to him, then!" Quatre said.

"I would...but he hasn't spoken to me since I took him there," Heero stated.

Quatre tried not to glare at Heero. "So go over to his house after school."

"I don't know where he lived."

"So call his social worker and have her tell you. Use your cell or the phone in the office," Quatre suggested.

"Yeah, that could work," Heero said. "I'll call her after school gets out."

"Good idea," Quatre said, "only this time, try not to yell." That last statement earned a glare from the Japanese boy.



Heero walked up the small sidewalk to Duo's house. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say. He wasn't even sure if Duo would talk to him. Sighing, he stopped in front of the large painted door and stared at it. Taking a deep breath, Heero knocked on the door softly and waited for someone to answer. He didn't have to wait long. After a few moments, Sister Helen answered the door with a smile on her face.

"Hello, Heero, dear," she said softly. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm here to talk with Duo," Heero said, looking down at the shorter woman.

"Please, come on in," Sister Helen said, stepping aside, allowing Heero to enter.

Stepping inside, Heero kicked his shoes off, like he did in his own home. "Which room is Duo's?"

"It's at the foot of the stairs," she said. "Will you be joining us for dinner?"

"I'm not sure," Heero said, walking towards the stairs. "I'd have to call my parents and tell them if I did, and I don't want to impose."

"You won't be imposing!" Sister Helen stated.

Heero nodded. "I'll call them later and ask," he said, walking up the stairs. He looked at some of the pictures on the wall. The only picture of Duo was one where he was asleep on the couch. He looked so peaceful and innocent, almost like he didn't have such a horrible past. Shaking his head, the Japanese boy went up to the door at the top of the stairs and knocked.

The door in front of him opened slowly, timidly. Duo appeared in the small space between the door and doorframe. He was dressed in black sweat pants and a long sleeve gray shirt. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he had been crying. "What do you want, Heero?" He asked passively.

Heero looked over Duo's lean body quickly before answering. "Can I come in?" He asked softly.

Stepping aside, Duo opened the door all the way, allowing Heero to enter. He Japanese boy entered the room, hearing Duo shut the door behind him. The American walked past as he looked around the room. Posters were scattered on the walls in a seemingly random pattern. A queen size bed sat in the corner of the room, black comforter over it. Cheery wood dressers were on the opposite side of the room, a few knick knacks on top of them. The computer sat on a small rod iron table.

Heero went and sat down next to Duo on his bed. He noticed how the other boy tensed as he got closer but sat next to him anyway. "Look, Duo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you," he said, looking over at the other brunette. "I was just getting frustrated and I was already having a bad day before you came over. I never meant to scare you or make you think that I would hurt you."

Sighing, Duo down at his feet. "I didn't mean to aggravate you," he said softly. "But you have to understand it fro where I'm coming from. I have all these different people telling me that they use to know me but I can't remember anything about them. After awhile it gets harder and harder to believe them."

Heero reached out, wrapping his arms around Duo, who tensed a little more. "I know it's hard to believe them. Do you know how hard it was for me to come to terms with what you had become? I remember you as being energetic, jubilant and full of love and compassion. But now you're the complete opposite."

Duo sniffed softly, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "I don't think I can ever be the Duo you knew, again."

"I don't care if you become like that again," Heero whispered. "But I want you to get better. You can't sulk like this forever. That's why I'm here, to help."

Duo nodded, pulling away from Heero. "Now I have something to be sorry for," he whispered softly.

Heero blinked in confusion. "Why? You didn't do anything wrong."

Duo nodded solemnly. "I broke my promise to you..." he whispered, pulling up his left sleeve to show his bandaged arm. "I'm sorry, Heero! But...I couldn't help it!" The American started to cry, the tears slowly making their way down his face. "P-please don't be mad!"

Heero sighed sadly. "I'm not mad. Disappointed, yes, but I'm not mad." He reached out and replaced the sleeve back to its normal position. "However, I am going to ask that you give me the knife you did this with."

Nodding, Duo got up from the bed and went over to his computer desk. He opened the drawer and pulled out a small razorblade that was tucked in its little pouch. He walked over to Heero and handed it to him. "This is it," he said. "It's my only one."

"Alright." Heero stood, putting the razorblade into his back pocket. "Sister Helen asked if I wanted to stay for dinner," he told Duo.

"Are you going to?"

"Well, I'd have to call my parents and let them know, but I thought I'd check and make sure it was alright with you first."

Duo shrugged. "Its fine with me," he said quietly. "Do you want to stay?"

"Sure, I wouldn't mind it," Heero said with a small smile. Taking a chance, Heero stepped forward, closing the gap between them, pressing his lips softly into Duo's. With his eyes wide, Duo stepped back quickly, staring at Heero. "Sorry..." Heero said with a sigh. "...maybe it would be better if I didn't stay."

Duo shook his head, getting over the initial shock. "No, it's fine. It's just... I'm not ready for something like this..." he muttered softly.

Heero nodded. "I understand."

"So you'll stay?"

"Sure." Heero smiled softly. "I just need to go call my parents."

"The phone is down stairs in the kitchen," Duo said. Nodding, Heero left the room to go call his parents. Duo followed after him to see if he could indeed stay and to see how dinner was coming.