Chapter 10: Chasing after an Italian
POV Antonio
I was worried and depressed, something unusual in me, but I couldn't stop thinking the same over and over again and I couldn't find an answer that would satisfy the doubts I had in my head. If I weren't as clueless as I am, I'd know perfectly well what I had said or done wrong during the past few days and that was so terribly offensive to Lovi so he was angry to the point of having chosen to avoid me at all costs.
It's not like it was the first time that Lovi got angry with me. Of course not! In fact, I think it was unusual the day I didn't do any stupidity which annoyed him. And he would usually yell at me, insult me or throw himself at my stomach (with either his fists or his head, as if there was a target drawn on my abdomen); and after that unexpected interruption, sometimes painful for me, we would laugh (or rather I'd laugh as he kept on throwing insults at me) and then we would return to our previous conversation or we'd start a new one.
But that was before whatever had happened.
I had to remember exactly what had bothered Lovi, fix it as soon as possible and apologize to him until I lost my voice if necessary, because being ignored by him was killing me. I had never felt such an emptiness inside me. I had to get my friend back no matter what.
It seemed like an eternity, even though it had been only three days since we last saw each other. That was on Sunday.
That day Lovi behaved as usual, he even got angry with me as always (yelling at me and calling me 'bastard') for treating him as a child trying he ate a pancake from my hands, he blushed madly, it's impossible to be cuter!
We were having breakfast with Emma, who appeared unexpectedly and, now that I think about it, I don't have a clue about the reason of her visit. Whatever, our breakfast extended until lunch time. I was going to invite them for lunch, but before doing it, they decided to leave: Emma because she had things to do, and Lovi because, according to him, his brother would be desperate for not knowing about his whereabouts; no doubt Lovi, although he complaints a lot of Feliciano, worries so much for him, he's a good older brother!
I said goodbye to my two friends, who left together, and got prepared for a new afternoon of work as an entertainer in the mall (I'd be busy every afternoon of the next week with that job). I would have liked to go out and have a drink with Lovi when I returned, but I knew by that time he would be working at the restaurant. A pity, I had no choice but to wait for the next day.
However, despite my desire to spend some time with him, on Monday we couldn't see each other either. Before getting dark, just a while after I finished my long day at work, I went up to his house to go out, but contrary to what normally happened, I wasn't greeted by Lovi's moody face, but by the smiling Feliciano.
"Hello, Lo…!" I was surprised when I saw that it wasn't who I expected and rectified. "Hello, Feli~! I'm looking for Lovi, could you tell him to come out?"
"Veeee~" he stared me for some seconds before answer. "Ciao, Antonio. My fratello… is not at home."
"He isn't here?" I surprised, Lovi didn't use to go out alone. "Where has he gone?"
"Veee~…" he was thinking. "Well… I don't know!"
"Don't you know?" he shook his head nervously. "Didn't he tell you?" he shook his head again. "And you didn't ask him?"
"Vee~… you know how my fratello is, he gets angry when you bombard him with questions."
It's true, Lovi goes on the defensive if he is bombarded with questions as if he was being interrogated.
"Yeah… Then I suppose that you won't know if he is coming back soon, will you?" he denied again with his head. I sighed a bit resigned. "What a pity!"
"Do you want to leave him a message?"
"No, it's not necessary, just tell him I have been here."
Feli said goodbye to me smiling and waving his hand and he closed the door when I turned my back to him. The moment I put my foot on the first step of the stairs, I thought I heard Lovi's voice coming from inside his house, but I didn't give importance, I was so eager to see him that I would be imagining it.
To my regret the situation on Tuesday was similar. I may have been more than tired after my exhausting and long working day, but I really wanted to spend some time with my dear Italian friend, so I went up to his house to look for him. I guessed he was there, just a few minutes before I had heard the melody he played with the violin through the patio window. However, when I knocked on his door and after waiting several minutes, I was received by the smiling Feliciano.
"Hello, Feli! And your brother? Could you tell him to come here?"
"Vee~… Veee~…" he sounded nervous and he looked at me and inside the house alternatively." My… my fratello… vee~… my fratello is not here."
"How's that?" I felt a bit out of place. "I have heard him playing violin just a moment ago."
"Veee… yes, well…" it seemed he was thinking about what to say. "Actually he is here…"
"Then tell him to come!" I urged him.
"He can't!" he replied, I looked at him inquisitively. "He… he… he just went to bed!"
"So early?" I asked incredulously.
"He wasn't feeling well!" he looked more anxious.
"Oh, so can I enter to see him? If he's sick maybe I can stay to help you out…"
"N-N-N-No!" he stretched his arms forward and move them sideways so I couldn't enter. "My fratello has said he doesn't want anyone to bother him and you know how he is, ve! I don't want him to get angry!"
And, without giving me time to say anything else, he closed the door in my face.
I was a bit taken aback by that strange attitude that Feliciano showed, not that I wanted to distrust his words, but his nervousness made me think he was trying to hide something, but I didn't know exactly what.
As soon as I got home, I lay on the bed. I stared at the ceiling, just on the other side of it, barely a couple of meters above me, was Lovi's room, where supposedly he was lying sick. I sighed, I felt bad because I couldn't do anything for him, or could I?
I turned my head towards the window, my guitar rested just below. I picked it up and settled into bed with it. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and sent Lovi a message of encouragement that I'd accompany with a song of my guitar, a soft one to help him feel better.
Since I didn't get any response after putting my idea into practice, I didn't know if it worked or not, so I felt a bit disappointed. I suppose that deep down I expected to hear Lovi stamping on the floor so I stopped playing or complaining through the window or, at best, answering to the message. But nothing. I contented myself thinking he was asleep and that maybe my music would have helped him to have sweet dreams.
The next day, Wednesday, I decided to pay a visit to Lovi after lunch to know if he was feeling better. I left my apartment ready to go up when I saw somebody carrying a black case at the end of the flight of stairs, it seemed Lovi who was returning from class (although a bit late). I called him and he turned around, it really was him.
He looked at me for some seconds, with a scared face, and ran as if he was fleeing from me. I ran after him without understanding the reason of his reaction, but he was very fast and entered his house before I could reach him. I knocked on his door repeatedly, almost desperately, but neither of the brothers opened it.
That was the moment I noticed something happened: it wasn't that Lovi wasn't at home or felt sick the times I went to see him, it was that he didn't want to see me, he was avoiding me. But… why? It didn't make sense that his attitude towards me had changed suddenly, there had to be a reason for Lovi to decide to act as he was doing, which made me conclude that I did or said something that offended him in such a way that he preferred to get away from me.
Throughout the afternoon I tried to think about the possible actions or words that could have bothered Lovi, but being in charge of the entertainment of twenty or more children doesn't allow many ramblings, so all my attempts to remember were in vain. I felt frustrated and disappointed with myself for being unable to focus and get something clear.
I came back home crestfallen and with my mind immersed in my thoughts, looking for a possible reason to justify Lovi's detachment. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't notice where I was going and ended up crashing into someone much bigger and stronger than me who made me fall to the ground on my back. I looked up, I was in next to the building's gate with Ludwig and Feliciano in front of me. No doubt I had collided with the German, who offered his hand to me to stand up.
"Are you ok, Antonio?" Ludwig asked me when I stood up.
"Yeah, sure." I shook off my clothes. "It was nothing."
"Vee~… Are you sure, Antonio? You don't look good…
"Yes, I'm fine, Feli." I said trying to smile at them, althought my mood didn't let me. But, one moment! Feliciano was there in front of me, it could be possible that he knew what had bothered Lovi. I threw myself into his arms. "FELI!"
"Vee!" he shouted scared. "W-What happens?"
"And your brother? What is happening to him?" I asked almost desperately, moving a little away from him, but still holding him by his shoulders. He looked scared. "You know? Tell me you know!"
"Veee!" with his eyes full of tears, he shook his head. Ludwig made me move away. "I… I don't know."
"Don't you know?" I got depressed again. "Then you won't know why he's avoiding me, right?"
"Did you realize?" he asked surprised.
"That's why you behaved so strangely when I went to your house to look for Lovi."
"I'm sorry… My fratello asked me to cover him when you came home, although I don't know why. He… He has been behaving strange for several days, don't tell me what's happening to him and… he gets ve-very angry if I ask him.
"I see." I answered sadly.
"One moment," Ludwig said, "are you saying that Lovino is avoiding you" he pointed at me, "but he didn't want you to realize and still you have noticed?"
Sadly, I nodded. Ludwig stood with his mouth wide open for a few seconds and looked up at the sky. Feliciano and I looked up too, we had no idea what the German was searching for in the heights.
"Is it going to snow tonight?" I didn't understand why he had asked that, sometimes Ludwig is incomprehensible to me.
"Vee~… How is it going to snow, Luddy? It's summer and it's very hot. We're not in Germany, it doesn't snow here."
"No, I didn't mean…" he stared at us for some seconds and shook his head. "Bah! Never mind, let's leave it. It's about time to go, Feliciano.
"Yes, it's true, it's getting late." Feli held Ludwig's arm again. "We are going to the cinema to watch a ninjas' movie, do you want to come, Antonio?"
Ludwig paled and his expression became more serious than it normally was.
"Thank you very much, Feli, but I don't feel like it. Have fun."
Ludwig relaxed his face, smiled a bit (because the corners of his lips rose a few millimeters, otherwise it wouldn't have been noticed) and patted me on my back as a goodbye.
Unfortunately, the conversation with Feliciano had only depressed me more. If he didn't even know what happened to Lovi and he was avoiding me, how could I find out what had happened and make amends? I decided to try my luck going to his house once more.
I don't know how long I spent on the landing or the times I knocked on his door, but my fingers ended up in pain. I tried to phone, Lovi's mobile tone was heard on the other side of the door the first two times, and there was no signal at the third call, he would have turned it off.
I went down to my apartment frustrated, disappointed and, above all, depressed.
I fell onto the bed and buried my face in the pillow, which, to my complete surprise, still retained the smell of Lovino. I breathed in that aroma, remembering the two nights I spent in his company.
When he appeared in the middle of the night asking me for letting him sleep at my home, I don't know what I thought, he seemed scared and shy, but he looked so cute… Just like in the morning! He was so calm while he was sleeping that I couldn't repress the desire to kiss his rosy cheeks… Maybe he noticed and that's why he got angry! No, even if it was a possibility, if Lovi had realized at the moment he wouldn't have repressed beating me, just like on Saturday night when I touched that funny curl he had, I only wanted to know how he managed to keep it suspended in the air, but got angry and hit me in the stomach… the truth is that his reaction was a bit strange, he looked heated and nervous, he was snorting and his face was redder than usual, he might have gotten angry for that! Although the next morning he behaved as always…
Agh! Thinking about the possible reasons of Lovi's annoyance and then demolish them by myself had no sense, I was only getting a headache. I rubbed my face to try to clear myself. I sighed deeply and hugged the pillow, inhaling again Lovi's scent (I missed him a lot!) until I fell asleep.
I had wanted to see Lovi in the morning, in fact I spent a while sat on the stairs waiting for him to go down to his class, but he didn't do it. In the end, it was Emma who appeared, a bit surprised by my delay and urged me to leave for work or we would be late.
On the way, while driving my motorbike with Emma on my back, I remembered that she left my house with Lovino the last day I saw him, maybe she knew something about what was happening to him, because he had told her about it or because she had noticed (girls have a special ability to detect problems). I asked her as soon as we got off the bike.
"Lovino was weird?" she said. "Really? I saw him the same as always, both at your home and at night.
"Did you see Lovi that night?!" I got surprised.
"Yeah. I went to dinner at Romu's restaurant with Eli when she finished her shift at the hospital. It was Lovino who served us, at least at first, because then there was a row in the kitchens and we didn't see him again."
Lovi took his job seriously, I knew it on good authority, we had worked together and he didn't do it bad, in fact he learnt everything he needed to know quickly and put a lot of effort into doing it well. So that they didn't see him again was strange enough.
"How's that there was a row and you didn't see Lovi anymore?"
"Well, I don't know what happened, but there was a rumble like dishes breaking on the floor. I imagine that since Lovino was the last to arrive, he had to pick up the disaster and that's why he didn't come back out again, at least during the time we were there."
"Oh, okay."
Wow, for a moment I thought that in the restaurant there might have happened some event that triggered Lovi's annoyance towards me.
"Hey, Toni, now that we're talking about the restaurant, why don't you and I go there to have dinner tonight? It's been a long time since we saw each other outside of work."
"We live in front of the other! We see each other every day."
"Oh, don't play dumb!" she grumbled gracefully making a puppy face. "You know what I mean, to spend a little time together and have fun, not to pass each other on the landings. What do you say? Are we going to dinner at Romu's restaurant tonight?"
Sincerely, I didn't feel like accepting her proposal, but Emma, with her head cocked, looked at me with those imploring green eyes and an innocent smile on her face. I couldn't refuse. Moreover, I had a good incentive to accept, it was Thursday and Lovino would be working in the restaurant, which would give me the opportunity to talk to him.
So that evening, after coming back from the mall and having a long, relaxing shower, I went to pick up Emma. Luckily she was who received me, because I wasn't in the mood to endure the scathing comments of her brother towards me, even so I tried to put my best smile for my friend.
It wasn't even dark yet. We walked to the garage to get the car or the motorcycle, at least I was heading there, but when I was arriving Emma grabbed my hand and pulled me. I looked at her without understanding, she smiled at me and led me to a square.
"We better go by taxi" she said, "so we won't have a problem to return if we drink a little."
"Do you intend me to get drunk?" I raised an eyebrow, looking at her inquisitively.
"You never know." She stuck out her tongue and winked. Moreover, then we could go back taking a walk…"
I shrugged. Emma interpreted it as a positive answer and giggled softly. She pushed me inside the first parked taxi we found, she sat beside be and started to talk to me, I don't know about what, really, because I was so deep in my thoughts on how to get Lovi not to avoid me in the restaurant that I wasn't even listening to her.
"Toni, Toni!" she shook my arm, pulling me out of my absorption. "Where are you? Because it seemed that you weren't listening to me."
"Sorry, Emma" I smiled, "I was distracted."
"What happens?" she looked at me worried. What I said, girls have that ability to detect when something is not right around them. "You don't look like yourself."
"I have been a little bad for a few days because something happens with Lovi and I don't know what it is or how I can fix it."
"That's why you asked me about him this morning?" I nodded. "If you have any problem with him maybe we shouldn't go to dinner to Romu's restaurant, we can go anywhere else if you want…"
"NO!" I shouted suddenly, I had to go and make Lovi talk to me. Emma startled by my unexpected reaction. "I… I mean there's no problem, I really want to have dinner there."
"Ah, fine." She smiled again.
"Do you know? It's been a while since last time I went there as a customer" I remembered my last visit and smiled with a bit of nostalgia, "since the day I met Lovi. He asked me to take him to lunch at a genuine Italian restaurant."
"So demanding!" she laughed.
"Poor boy, he fell down in a faint in my arms… if he ever finds out that I have told you this, he'll kill me…"
I continued to remember my first encounter with Lovi until we reached our destination, the truth is that talking about him made me feel a bit better. Emma, on the other hand, was becoming more and more quiet and thoughtful.
I wanted to enter at the dining room, in summer there's much more tranquility inside, but Emma stopped me holding my arm, she preferred to sit at a table on the terrace.
While we were reading the menu, I told Emma about the days Lovi and I were working together and how I had to teach him everything he needed to know and how fast he learnt. Suddenly she left the menu on the table with a slap.
"Do you know what you are going to order?" she asked me sharply, but smiling, though the corners of her lips trembled.
"Eeh… well…"
My gaze went alternately from the menu to Emma a couple of times. Her green, piercing eyes were fixed on me, making me nervous. I looked away and saw that Lovi passed in front of the dining room door, I know it was a few seconds, but our eyes met. No doubt that was the moment to talk to him. I got up from the table very fast, almost without thinking.
"I'm going to the toilet" I lied, "I come back right now."
And I ran into the restaurant chasing Lovi, who was serving with a gallant smile a table with four young girls who… were making eyes at him! What a cheek… anyway, as soon as Lovino finished taking note, I approached him and grabbed his arm so he couldn't escape. He squirmed a little trying to get away.
"Lovi, please, we need to talk." I said in a low voice.
"Don't you realize that I'm working, bastard?" he kept on moving. "Leave me alone, you idiot, I don't have time for your bullshit."
"It's not bullshit!" I was offended.
"I don't care, I'm not interested!"
He squirmed once more and nudged me in the stomach causing me to let him go and he took the opportunity to disappear into the kitchen. Chasing him would be useless and would only bother everyone who was working there, so I snorted in frustration and went out onto the terrace.
To my utter surprise, Emma was no longer sitting at the table, she was going out to the street at a swift pace. I ran after her, I didn't understand why she was leaving so suddenly, if it was her idea to go to dinner. I held her by her wrist when I reached her and she stopped, turning to me with an angry face.
"Emma, what happens? Why have you left so suddenly?"
"What do you think?" she snapped back at me.
She got free of my grip violently. She stopped a taxi which was approaching and left, leaving me there with no explanation.
I sighted deeply and made my way back home on foot.
I definitely didn't understand anything about what was happening. First Lovino pulled me away from his life suddenly and for no apparent reason, and then Emma got mad at me who knows why. What a horrible week! I felt more and more depressed.
When finally after forty five minutes I arrived at the building's gate, Francis and Gilbert were leaving and stopped me. I didn't have to tell them anything to let them know that I felt really bad emotionally, they realized when they saw me, especially Francis, who has always had that ability. Both of them grabbed me by the arms, stopping me from continuing my way to the second floor and dragged me to a nearby bar.
"Now, mon ami, you're going to tell us why you're depressed." Fran said to me when served us drinks and a couple of tapas (because I hadn't eaten yet).
I explained in detail what happened during the last days and what had happened in the restaurant. Gilbert and Francis listened to me with all their attention and without interrupting me, which was a novelty, as they always find something to comment on. In fact, they didn't speak for a while after I finished, they stared at me with astonished faces.
"My, my, you can tell the le petit italien made a deep impression on you, mon amour."
"What do you mean, Fran?"
"What does he mean? Is it not clear enough? If you have even left the blondie behind to get that kid's attention, and in its day you drooled and whined for her."
"C'est vrai, you weren't like that for anyone since Emma and you stopped 'not going out' together."
"Eh?"
"Let's see, Toño, haven't you thought that maybe the little boy has gotten angry with you not for something you have done but for what you haven't done yet?"
"Guys! Please, speak clearly because I'm more lost than the rice boat."
"What Gilbert says is that maybe le petit italien has gotten angry with you for being so slow and not having declared to him yet."
"Declaring to him? And why the hell should I declare to him?"
"Maybe because of your feeling for him?"
"Friendship?" I asked hesitantly. "Do I have to declare my friendship to Lovi?"
"Friendship? Come on, Toño, if you can tell it a mile away that you have a big desire for that kid. Do yourself and that grumpy boy a damn favor and give an amazing cock once and for all, he sure is also looking forward to it.
"Fuck, Gilbo! What obsession you do have with chickens… Auch!"
Francis had slapped me on the back of my neck, painfully indeed. Gilbert received one too. Francis sighed deeply.
"To begin with, Gilbert, stop making vulgar comments and giving absurd advice that is useless."
"What do you say about my advice?" he was offended. "They are some amazing tips."
"Yeah, amazingly useless. I've already seen how well what you said worked with your beloved doctor, now you run away from her every time she approaches you."
"Because lately she has her murderous instinct at exorbitant levels and I don't want her to split my head with her frying pan."
"You didn't care about that before. Be a man, confront her and make it clear your feeling for her!" Francis stood up in excitement. "And you, Antonio" he pointed at me and sat down again, patting me on the shoulder, "mon amour, how slow you can be sometimes, don't you realize that what you feel for le petit italien isn't a simple friendship?"
"Is it not?"
"Of course not, Toño" Gilbert said, "you haven't seen him for less than a week and it seems that your vital regions had been removed."
"Not to mention how you behave with him, always so helpful and attentive and above all…" Fran paused for a moment and smirked… "protective…"
I looked at him, intrigued by the tone which he had said that last word.
"Don't look at me like that, cher, you know well what I mean. It's enough that someone comes closer to your beloved Lovino so that you are on the alert."
"Kesese… with that 'someone' you mean yourself, really, Frenchy?" Fran laughed.
"Moreover, if he is present in the same place where you are, you don't separate from him. Like the night of my party, you didn't move away more than a meter from him…"
"That was the condition Lovi put to accompany me to the party, so I didn't leave him alone."
"So he only went to the party because you asked him." He exchanged a glance with Gilbert and they both nodded with conviction. "Interesting…"
"Well, to be honest, Fran, Lovi doesn't trust you, he thinks you are going to jump on him or something like that at the first chance."
"I'll gladly do it."
I looked at him badly, the lascivious tone he used to say that phrase made me angry, it seemed that he meant it and, no matter how good friend of mine Francis was, I would never allow him to use Lovi for his amusement.
"See how I've got reason, amour?" he said calmly. "You are on the alert. Calm down, I was joking." He winked.
"I don't like that kind of jokes." I said seriously.
"Whatever, mon ami, don't dismiss the chance that Lovino has been angry with you for your slowness, because he may have misunderstood certain aspects of your behavior. So what you have to do now is to think over everything we have said to you, analyze your own reactions and realize what you really feel for le petit italien."
"And assume it!"
Far from helping me solve my problems, the conversation with the guys only managed to confuse me even more. Why did they insist on questioning my friendship with Lovino? Although perhaps they were right in saying that what I felt was not a simple friendship, it was something stronger, I had become very fond of him! It was impossible not to do it: he's a smart and funny boy –I never get bored while being with him– but also vulnerable and insecure, who cares for those who matter to him, but who hides himself behind a barrier of hostility so he is not gotten hurt. How could I not be fond of someone so adorable?
And now that adorable person was leaving me aside, why? The guys raised the possibility that Lovi had been angry at my slowness in not declaring to him… Were they insinuating that Lovi felt something more than friendship for me? No, that was impossible…
Although, on second thought, there was an incident at Francis' party that might well suggest the opposite. Lovi, totally drunk, and I were dancing when suddenly he felt very hot and went to the landing taking off his shirt. I ran after him and, seeing his condition, I grabbed him by the waist and forced him to go to his house, he refused and repeated over and over again that he wanted to dance. We went up the first flight of stair with difficulty, because Lovi didn't stop moving and dancing. Then he grabbed my abdomen and ran his hands over it, saying that "he was going to do me something that nobody else had ever done me before", I'd swear that my face lit up when he said that, but suddenly I felt a lot of tickling, of course, he meant that! Or that I wanted to think, I'd ask him the next day. But it turned out that Lovi didn't remember anything and when I told him what he told me, he became completely white and his face was distorted. I felt so bad to see him like that, so I decided to lie to him saying that he was referring to a musical work and the first one that came to mind was that famous of the seasons, that seemed to relieve him. And I forgot about the subject, until that moment.
Oh, God! Could it be that Francis and Gilbert were right with that they implied about Lovi? No, definitely not, Lovi was as drunk as a lord that night and he wasn't aware of what he was doing or saying. But… it was possible that Lovino had remembered what happened that night and knew that I had lied to him and… that was the reason of his anger! Yes, that explanation was much more plausible than the one exposed by my friends.
On Friday morning, I woke up tired and with an incipient stomachache, facing so many negative events in so few days was taking a toll on me.
I was just in time to get to work, I dressed quickly, drank a cup of hot coffee and went to look for Emma, but I was welcomed by Govert with that sympathy that characterizes him.
"I don't know what you are doing here, but you are annoying, so you can leave now."
"B-But I come for Emma to go to work."
"Emma left half an hour ago, she must have finally gotten tired of waiting for a good-for-nothing lie you every morning."
He shut the door in my face.
There was no doubt that Emma was still angry and she had preferred to leave alone to work, but at least I could see her there and apologize for what had bothered her. Or so I intended, because I couldn't find her all morning and I looked for her throughout the store, but nothing, I didn't find her. And I didn't see her at the time of leaving, so I returned home alone.
"Antonio!" an authoritative voice shouted as soon as I set foot in the patio.
Roderich suddenly appeared leaving Elizaveta's house (it was quite a surprise because until a few weeks ago he used me as a messenger to send letters to his ex-girlfriend). He approached me with an angry face, and what had I done?
"What the hell is happening with Lovino?" I looked at him without understanding. "He skipped my classes and I have come to look for him."
"How long did it take you to come?" he glanced at me, Roderich gets annoyed every time I refer to his null sense of direction.
"Less than you imagine, I've been here for a while. I tried to see Lovino, but he didn't open the door."
"Welcome to the club."
Since it was you who insisted that I accepted him as a student, I demand a good explanation to justify this intolerable lack of discipline."
"Rod, it's been at least five days since Lovino doesn't want to know anything about me and I don't even know why, what makes you think that I can know the reasons why he has skipped your classes? Ask Feliciano, luckily he may know something."
"Do you mean that boy who is in Elizaveta's house and can't stop crying because his brother doesn't let him into the house?"
"WHAT?!"
I went into my friend's house. Feliciano was on a couch crying while Eli was trying to calm him down unsuccessfully. On another sofa, Gilbert lay unconscious and with a bump on his forehead, he would surely have won a frying pan blow from Eli, who knows why. I approached Feli and bent over in front of him.
"Feli, what happened? Why are you crying?"
"Vee~… My… my… my fratello…" he sobbed. "Vee~…i-is… an-angry and doe…doesn't let… let me en-enter… home…"
"What? Why?"
"Didn't you hear about last night's mess, Antonio?" Eli asked. I shook my head, I was so tired that I lay on the bed and didn't hear anything. "Well, the row wasn't small precisely."
"Your beloved Lovinito showed up at my awesome abode looking for Feliciano, who had stayed to sleep there, but Feliciano refused to leave and they had an argument. That's the short version of the story." Gilbert said, sitting up while rubbing his bump. "Damn Hungarian, you're going to make me stupid with your blows."
"You are" Eli answered, "learn how to behave and you won't receive more."
"I have no reason to behave with that stupid aristocrat."
Roderich and Gilbert exchanged hateful looks. Eli raised the pan so it could be seen by both of them. Gil grunted and leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms.
"But let's see" I said, taking up the subject, "other times you have stayed at Gil and Ludwig's house, why does Lovi get angry now to the point of not letting you enter the house?"
"Vee~… Because… because I told him that I preferred stay with Ludwig than leaving with him." Feliciano answered calmer.
"And considering that horrible dislike Lovino has for German people, that had to suit him like a hole in the head." Roderich commented.
"Fuck, if I even let him be friend of my awesome self, where does so much hatred come?"
"Vee~… That's my fault…"
The looks of all of us instantly turned to Feliciano.
"What?"
"Vee~… When we were little we had a very serious German neighbor of who we were afraid and one day my fratello went into his garden to catch a ball that had fallen unintentionally, but that man discovered him and got angry and took my fratello with my mamma, who scolded him very hard. From then on he began to detest everything related to the German…"
"But that's not your fault, Feli." Eli said while caressing Feli's head.
"In fact, it's time for Lovino to get over those traumas." Roderich commented coldly. "Anyway, I've already accomplished what I came to do, so I'm leaving."
"Do you want me to accompany you?" Eli offered.
"NO!" shouted a blushed Gilbert.
For doing both Gilbert and Roderich a favor, I decided to be the one to accompany the latter to his house, which only left me time to have lunch before going back to work. But I had already decided, that afternoon I would talk to Emma about her anger and I would clarify with Lovino the reasons of his avoiding, whether he wanted to or not.
Fortune seemed to smile up on me for the first time in that week. I decided to solve first the issue with Emma, I had the feeling that I would solve it in a short time. So just after returning, I knocked on her door. This time she welcomed me.
"Emma, great!" I smiled at her, I hoped she didn't throw me out as her brother. "Hey, I have been wanting to see you all day to apologize for…"
"No, Toni" she interrupted me seriously. No? No what? "You don't have to ask for my forgiveness for anything, it's me who has to apologize to you." Well, I didn't understand anything. "I didn't have to get angry or react as I did, I know, there's no justification for it, but I'm not going to deny that I was very shocked to discover how you are for Lovino."
"What? I don't understand, what do you mean by 'how I am for Lovino'?"
"Please, Toni, isn't it obvious?" she said frowning. "You're crazy for that boy."
"Come on, Emma, are you going to begin with that like Gilbert and Francis?"
Emma joined her index and middle fingers together, put them in front of my face and quickly directed them to my forehead, hitting it with their fingertips. It hurt. Whenever she wanted to make me notice something, she used that strategy.
"Auch, it hurts!" I rubbed the spot hit.
"Antonio!" Emma only called me by my full name when she got angry. "Don't you see yourself?!
I didn't know what to answer to that question, so I shrugged. I won a new blow with her fingers on my forehead.
"How you act, how you talk about him, how you miss him, don't you realize? Your whole world revolves around Lovino. You are in love with him!"
I was speechless for a few seconds. I… was I in love with Lovino? That was what Fran and Gil meant when they tried to convince me again and again that what I felt for him was more than just friendship? Yes, they were definitely right, it was not just friendship. And it wasn't a simple fondness as I had thought, it was something even stronger, more intense, deeper, I needed him with my whole soul and I wanted him with all my heart.
Emma was right, I was in love with Lovino.
I held my friend in my arms, if it wasn't for her and her direct way of telling me things, it would have taken me a lot longer to realize what I really felt for Lovi (guys were absolutely right saying that I am slow).
I only had to solve the problem with Lovino. I had to talk to him and know once and for all the reasons that had led him to decide to grow apart from me by avoiding me, and solving it in any way, I didn't care, the only thing I wanted at that time was to have my Lovi close to me again.
By the hour it was, he had to be in the restaurant, but it turned out that no. I was still hugging Emma when he passed behind me at full speed towards the stairs, saying a brief "good evening" that made us separate. My heart beat so fast, Lovi had spoken to me again, even though he hadn't stopped. I looked at Emma with excitement, she smiled shyly and nodded, closing the door.
Without thinking about it any longer, I ran after Lovino. He was one step ahead of me. I called him several times to stop him, but he chose to run. I lost sight of him a couple of times, but luck was on my side and I managed to keep track of him until reaching a small nearby beach.
I saw him sitting on the sand contemplating the sea while the sunset sun illuminated his face. I approached him slowly so he wouldn't notice my presence and flee again. I sat next to him while taking his arm gently, but firmly, and I gave him a wide smile.
"This time I won't let you escape."