I got a laptop for Christmas. Therefore, I shall do a dance! And while I do that, here's Bakura with our local weather and a disclaimer.
Bakura: Hate you... Alright. She doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! She does own a new laptop, finally. And for the weather, cold. Very cold. But no snow. Which saddens her, and even me. I can't throw snow when it's not here, dammit. Leave your valuables for me in that review you intend to leave and make my Christmas merry too.
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I'm a multi-millionaire, but I can't afford a new toaster. So, Mokuba had to starve on cereal. I bought Fluffy toast on the way the way to work. He bit the store clerk. Why does everyone hate Fluffy so? He only wants to love them. I didn't pay for Fluffy's toast because the clerk screamed. I'm rich, I can do that.
I didn't bring Bakura to work again today, but I didn't need him anyway. I had Fluffy. And toast. I continued to work on Lemon Quest today. Then I took some time off to terrorize employees, and cause some chaos. The usual. Fluffy tried to eat my secretary's skirt, that was funny. I'm cutting her pay for throwing a stapler at him. She didn't like that, but too bad, She couldn't do anything about it if she wanted to keep her job... I need new hobbies.
Court day came. Stupid place didn't allow flamingoes inside, so I had Bakura and Yami flamingo-sit. Court was boring, thank me I wasn't asked to testify. Marik won. He gets his midget, whoopee. ...Now, if I could just get laid, we'd be all set. Oh bloody hell, I'm so gay. But only for Marik, dammit! Insert shifty-eyed look here now. When we left, we stopped for Fluffy, then went out for lunch. Fluffy had toast and lemons. I had shrimp. The waiter screamed when Fluffy bit him, so I'm not tipping. Marik had some sort of food or something. Midget had a cheese sandwich. Mmm, bread. Maik was all like, glowy. Like pregnant females are when they find out. ...Maybe he's pregnant? ...Would that make me a father? Holy shit! ...No, wait. That wouldn't work. I haven't slept with him lately. So... Some other guy impregnated Marik! For shame! How dare he get pregnant without me! I wonder if he'll buy me a new toaster? I should ask.
"Marik?"
"What?"
"Can you buy me a new toaster?" He put down his fork.
"Did it explode again?"
"Damn werewolves."
"...You put a fork in it to get the toast, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"For a genius, you're a moron."
"So... Will you?"
"I guess so..."
"Thank you!"
"And this Reiyne is an example of the rare and not so elusive millionus idiotus. Also known as Seto Kaiba."
"You are so mean Marik."
"At least I get paid to be,"
"By who?"'
"...I lied. I have no paycheck." Reiyne-midget-thing giggled. ...Would I have to adopt her if I married Marik? That's a creepy thought. ...What if I married Bakura? Woud Yami kill me?
Fifteen minutes of eating and thirty minutes of radom musings later, we were at Marik's house. Oh, get your minds out of the gutters, morons. Nothing happened.
But he did give me a new toaster. He has a closet full. It has a sign that says "spare toasters". He must have problems with werewolves too.
Damn werewolves.
I left after like an hour or two. Mokuba was home alone, and I wasn't taking chances on him blowing up the mansion. ...Or talking to Jee-the butler.Knowing him, he'd have concocted some sort of experiment involving military explosives, baking soda, vinegar, and cheese. And wires. Lots of wires. That or drop a barrel of acid all over my clean floor. The time it'd take to clean that! Good thing I've got maids. ...I really should start paying them.
I've got Batman shoes. They're frickin' sweet. And they make me look even cooler than I already am. Bonus.
The next day I stepped into the Kaiba Corp. cafeteria to get some lunch. I recieved a strange surprise. my (crazy) employees were all, with precise timing, doing the Wave from one end of the rooom to the other and back. They were also yelling bonzai.
...Why don 't I own a gun? I hope, when they leave, every last one of them is hit by a bus. I put down Fluffy and grabbed my megaphone. (It hangs by the doors for mergencies. Like this.) "Either sit down, shut up and eat, or get back to work!" There was a pause, one final wave, and then my (stupid) employees dispersed to resume working. I grabbed something to eat, then found Fluffy. We went to the park.
As usual, it was filled with freaks.
At one point, there was a girl with a pair of severed feet, being chased by a girl in a wheelchair. Freaks. I saw the freaky blue haired girl again, with the guy in shades. She was talking about Batman, vampires, lemons and flamingoes. More freaks. Why do I come here again? Ooh, hotdog man! I bought two. Hot dogs I mean, not hotdog men. One was for Fluffy. He wasn't particularly fond of it. So I didn't pay for his hotdog. Just mine. Some pigeon ate his, so some old man can pay for it.
We went on our way, all the way around the park.
It's hard to find children to torment these days. So I settled for some old dude. Thought I saw Bakura shove an old lady into the fountain, but he's at home. So that can't be right. That boy needs mental help. Unlike me. I'm perfectly sane, just like Fluffy. Maybe I'll call a psychiatrist for Bakura... And for Yami, since he's gay and has multi-colored hair. That hair is an obvious cry for help. Honestly, who puts bangs in front of their eyes these days?
I got home pretty early today. Mokuba was home. I didn't speak to him right away. I was scheming to see Marik.
I got it!
I'll break my toaster again! I grabbed a lemon and buttered it. Mokuba got in the way with his "Seto, don't butter orphans!" sphiel again, but he was easily distracted, I told there was a puppy in a tree outside. He went to find it. Fool. I put the lemon in the toaster and it exploded.
Damn werewolves!
I called Marik, who agreed to come give me a new toaster. He's so nice.
He got here really fast. And looked at my toaster. "...There's a lemon in the toaster."
"Damn werewolves."
"You stuck a lemon in it, didn't you Seto?"
I went shifty eyed. "Nooo."
He sighed. "You need to stop being such a psychoidiot Seto." He handed me a new toaster. "Next time, get your own toaster."
I petted the toaster, vaguely reminding myself of that Lord of the Rings character, and smiled in a creepy way. "Thanks. Love you."
"...Yeah..." he stared at me for a minute. "You're an idiot."
He is so mean. Like an owl. A diabetic owl. With glasses. Large glasses. Or a dead mouse. Either one. He's that mean.
I invited him for dinner. We had homemade pizza. And yes girls, I said homemade. Seto Kaiba can cook, he's that awesome. We won't mention the first attempt, as Marik is a horrible pizza cook. The second attempt went well, as I didn'y allow marik within four feet of the pizza or anything related to it. Which he didn't like. I set him with the job of settng the table and keeping my chair warm. And entertaining Fluffy. He didn't want to, b ut he did it. Bears were involved, I think.
The pizza was quickly done without his interference, and we sat down to eat. He was all moody and stuff,ad somehow female friend showed up and appeared at the table. Eating my pizza, for cheesy shame. Marik looked like he'd lost to a clawed lawn mower, and Fluffy looked all cheery. They must have had fun, How sweet.
Yay pizza. Yay.
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Next time on Brownie Points: Oh no! Kelpy hasn't written chapter eleven yet! What does this mean for our favorite maniac and his friends? Kelpy's favorite song just started playing! She got a laptop, let's dance! And what's this, she lost her poking fork!