Chapter 10
A few minutes later, the escort arrived and Kirk and Sam left. When Jeff arrived and Chuck explained about the possible presence of a camera, it took him five minutes to find it, and another ten to remove it. Chuck took it straight to Graber's office.
"Sir," as he laid the camera on the commander's desk, "I must report a breach in security. Someone installed a camera in Captain Kirk's cell without my knowledge or approval. I have no idea what information may have been transmitted to parties unknown." Graber wasn't known for tolerating mistakes, and Chuck expected a reprimand at the very least.
"Relax, Chief. There's no breach in security. I had the camera installed, and the only one who's seen that information is me."
"You, sir?!" More than startled, he stiffened his already straight back and looked for a way to convey his outrage without insubordination. "But why was I not informed?"
"I did not want Kirk to know it was there. The only way to be sure of that was to ensure that no one he came in contact with knew it was there."
That was no excuse, but arguing the point would be worse than useless. Chuck looked for something of more substance than a mere complaint. "But sir, Kirk is the one who told me to look for it. Said he felt watched. And the only reason he mentioned it is because his attorney wanted to talk there instead of going to the conference room. So whatever you hoped to learn about Kirk is invalid, because he suspected the camera's existence right from the start. Although I got the distinct impression that he would not have changed his behavior even had he been certain of being watched."
Since Graber didn't interrupt him, Chuck dared to broach the second issue on his mind. "I have another concern, however, if I may speak freely." Graber nodded. "There was also a great deal of information about my people, much of it highly personal. If I may ask, sir, what do you intend to do with that knowledge?"
Graber absently ran a finger along the edge of the camera. "I don't intend to do anything with it. I would prefer that no one other than yourself know I have the information."
"I'm afraid that's not possible, sir. By the time I leave this office, the story will be all over the department. And I can't let them think it was an outsider. They would insist on an investigation."
"Very well. Then I will personally apologize to each of them, starting with you." Graber brought his attention to Chuck's face. "I am sorry you were a victim of my subterfuge, with the result that I have knowledge of you that you may not have wished me to have." His fingers stopped playing with the camera. "Will you forgive me?"
Chuck was startled. This was not at all what he expected. But the man had been watching Kirk for five days, and maybe he really meant it.
"Yes, sir, but surely you didn't learn anything about me you didn't already know."
"I learned something of the depth of your courage and compassion. And I'm proud to have you as my security chief." It was all the right words, and might be sincere.
"Thank you, sir."
"If you'll provide me with a list, I'll see your people in the next day or two."
"Sir, there's over thirty people on that list." He kept his protest mild.
"Well then, give me a week, and put a star by those you consider most urgent."
"Yes, sir." Chuck rose and turned to go. He knew better than to ask what the commander was going to do with what he had learned about Kirk. Some higher-up must want Kirk pretty badly.
"Oh, and Chuck," Graber paused to get Chuck's attention again. "Send Kirk in to see me when he's finished with his attorney." He smiled grimly. "And now would be a good time for Operation NS."
"Yes, sir." That was another subject on which he disagreed with Graber's orders.
xxxx
Sam ordered an early lunch, which Kirk did not refuse. During lunch, Kirk filled Sam in on what had been going on in his cell for the past five days. After lunch, they got down to business. Sam told Kirk what he had learned in the prosecutor's office, as well as his subsequent interviews with Kirk's crew, and his investigation aboard the Enterprise.
Like Spock, Kirk's immediate concern was for the safety of Eric and Carl. And he absolutely forbade Sam to use Carl as a witness.
"The only people that know what occurred in that meeting are those who were there. And that's the way it's going to stay."
"But Jim, the case is a pack of lies!" Sam threw the folder down to emphasize his disgust.
"I know that; you know that; and they know that. But telling the truth will not change the outcome of this trial."
Standing up, Sam took two steps away from the table before turning to voice his objection. "Why not? If you, Carl, Eric and Spock all testify, you're certain to be believed."
"Sam, I like you. I respect you as a person and an attorney. I do not want your career ruined because of me." Kirk stood up to get at eye level. "Please, for my sake, will you drop the case?"
"Jim, I will not abandon you! I don't care what happens to my career. I care about what happens to you!" He extended a finger and stabbed at Kirk's chest.
"You also care about the truth. You can't stand it when truth and justice do not prevail. What you need to accept is that this trial isn't about truth. They have no intention of letting justice prevail. The prosecutor told you that." Kirk turned away to marshal his thoughts. Sam needed to see this his way.
He faced Sam and went on. "You think they expect me to tell the truth. I don't think so. I think they chose this incident because they know I won't talk. They know Spock won't talk. They weren't too sure about Carl and Eric, so they tried to silence them." He began to pace, thinking out loud.
"If you muddy the waters with the truth, if you get Carl to testify, you may well ruin the careers of up to four people, but you won't change the outcome of this trial. If you make mincemeat out of their case, they'll only make up a new one. Someone very high up, or probably several people, are behind this. You'll get absolutely nowhere trying to buck this." He faced Sam and squared his shoulders.
"Sam, what's at stake here is bigger than me. It's even bigger than the Enterprise, though I doubt they know that. They are afraid of what's happened aboard my ship because they don't understand it. Because they fear it, they want to destroy it, or at least, keep it from spreading. If they are unable to destroy me, they will enlarge their attack to include my senior officers, and then my whole crew."
"What are you suggesting then?" His tone indicated provisional acceptance.
"In my opinion, the only way to win this is to give them exactly what they want, and then prove them wrong. They think taking my ship away will destroy me. It won't. Not that I'm thrilled about the idea, but it's not the end of the world. Some of them think I'll recant before I'll let them take away my ship. They're wrong. I hope they'll give me a chance to share my testimony, but if they're smart, they won't do that.
"I want to let them take my ship, so they can see that the power of Jesus doesn't depend on me. The Christians on the Enterprise are not going to curl up and play dead just because I'm not there. Perhaps somebody will be convinced of the reality of the power of Jesus as a result."
Sam stared at him, as if not quite convinced of what he'd just heard.
Brushing the disbelief aside, Kirk got him to focus on the practical. "If you're determined to stay with the case, there are a few things you can do for me. First, go talk to Carl, and Eric too, if you can. Make sure they understand I want them to remain silent. They will feel badly about it, so tell them I said to remember that all things work together for good. Secondly, the best way to ensure their safety is to tell the prosecutor that they won't talk. Third, I want you to visit each of my senior officers. Explain the situation, and tell them what I plan to do. And this is most important: Tell them I want them to stay with the Enterprise and not quit. Prove the opposition wrong. I'm counting on it. The last thing you can do for me is find out how soon we can get this show on the road. Chuck is running out of security officers."
xxxx
Kirk was taken next to Graber's office, without any explanation.
"Come in, Captain. Sit down please. You may go, gentlemen. I'll call you when we're finished." The security escort departed. Kirk said nothing, nor did he reveal his surprise at this change in procedure. Graber studied him in silence for a moment.
"You continue to surprise me, Captain. Six days ago, you protested the presence of a security team. Now you make no comment on their absence. Furthermore, I know what life has been like for you these past days. Yet you are as calm and controlled as when I handed you that court-martial document. Does nothing ever surprise you?"
"Of course, sir, but I learned poker from an expert."
"I see. And I have given you no reason to view me as anything other than an opponent. Very well; I will place my cards on the table - well, at least some of them." He paused, as if hoping Kirk would grant him a smile at the attempted humor.
When none was forthcoming, he went on. "Along with the orders I showed you, I received a separate set of orders from the same source. Those orders specifically detailed the treatment you were to receive: non-regulation cell, old-style handcuffs, no privacy, no sleep, no food, violent and cruel guards. We even engineered the break you got on the second day. It was intended to be demoralizing. Also your attorney was intentionally delayed, so as to give you a full three days of this treatment. No one imagined that it would go on any longer than it took your attorney to file a complaint. Federation prisoners are not treated this way, and you know it.
"The guards were all told to harass you. Anything they did, and I mean anything, short of killing you, was okay. As long as you survived it, they were immune from any legal action. However, none of them knew that we installed a very sophisticated camera to record everything. This camera focused on you alone. Those with you were either not in the picture, or were out of focus. I was told to deliver this recording to a certain individual who would see that it got to the proper authorities. I, too, would be immune from any legal action. I was not told the purpose of all this, but was assured the safety of the Federation might well be at stake."
Kirk listened to all this explanation in not-quite-stony silence. Not very surprised by most of it, he was looking for a way into this man's heart. Past the military exterior, he sensed this man was hurting. He asked the Lord to open the door.
Graber continued. "Today the camera was discovered and removed. So there will be no more harassing, no more handcuffs. I don't know why I should expect a reaction from you about that announcement. You must have some Vulcan ancestry." Kirk smiled briefly in amusement. "Ah. I see you're not completely Vulcan then. But even Vulcans suffer from curiosity. Have you no questions?"
"How can I negotiate for the release of my officers?"
"You can't. My orders were very explicit about that. I'm sorry." He didn't sound sorry. "Well, even if you're not curious, I am. I've watched you for days, and I'm puzzled by your responses at every turn. Will you take off the poker face long enough to answer my questions?"
Was this the opening Kirk needed? "What would you like to know?"
"I want to know why you never got angry. Why, beyond that initial protest, there was not one word of complaint. Why you didn't have your attorney put a stop to it. Why men who entered your cell as antagonists came out as your friends. What drives you, that you would do the things I saw you do today? Why are you as unconcerned about this recording and what I'm going to do with it, as you are by this court-martial, which if rumor is correct, is going to ruin your career?"
"I will answer your questions on one condition: As I do so, I want you to look into my eyes and tell me honestly what you see there. The eyes are the window of the soul, and I will intentionally open that window for you to see inside. Do you agree to my condition?"
Graber was cautious, maybe expecting a trap. "Yes, but why would you do that?"
"Because you asked. You already know what I said to those in my cell. But your camera cannot record what they saw in my eyes." Suddenly Kirk's face was very readable, and Graber was startled by what he saw there.
"You care about me! Why?"
"Because Jesus loves you. What you see in me is His love flowing through me. I am His agent."
Graber stared in complete incomprehension.
"Now to answer your questions: It is human nature to be self-centered. After all, no one else is going to look out for number one, right? But when I gave my life to the Lord, I was freed from the need to be self-absorbed. Now that I belong to Him, it's the Lord's responsibility to take care of me. I don't need to be concerned about it.
"Several corollaries go with that to make my trust in Him complete. One is that He is perfectly able to take care of me. Secondly, He desires the very best for me in all of life. Mind you, His idea of the best may not look like it to you or me, but He considers all factors, not just those we are presently aware of. Third, He knows me better than I know myself.
"Freed from the tyranny of self, I am able to concentrate on what is important to the Lord. In this situation, that was the lives of the men you sent me. Even if I'd known this was some kind of endurance test, I doubt I would have behaved differently. I could have let them throw me around and toss my food on the floor more or less indefinitely, but that would not have changed their lives. They came in harassing me, but they left having had an encounter with the living God. With those results, I don't care how much harassing goes with it." Kirk sat back and spread his arms out.
"As for today's encounters, the first man was looking for help. The second, for information; but when the time was right, he had an encounter with the Lord, and I was privileged to be part of it. The other two gentlemen who'd gotten messed up the day before, I felt obligated to help if they would let me."
"But the situations you engineered made the handcuffs seem like child's play!"
"I only did what the Lord gave me to do in each situation. But He knows I am not afraid of physical pain, and I'm quite willing to use it to get the results I'm after.
"As for the recording you have, if it won't injure anyone else, I don't care who you give it to. I have nothing to hide. The court-martial is not something I've taken time to think about. I won't say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not afraid of it either. The Lord knows exactly what He's doing, and He's not surprised by anything that happens to me.
"Now can you tell me what you have seen in my eyes while we've talked?"
Graber looked down at his desk before raising his eyes to meet Kirk's. "I've seen a great deal, maybe more than you wished. Are you sure you want me to tell you?"
Kirk smiled warmly. "Absolutely. I opened the window, remember."
"Very well. The first thing I was aware of was the honesty of your words. Deception is almost always visible in the eyes. Secondly, your sense of humor starts with an ability to laugh at yourself. Nothing you said was funny, but the twinkle in your eye gave me the impression you were laughing at an inside joke on yourself. Never did I feel as if you were laughing at me.
"Foremost in your eyes, I see an absolute trust in your Lord. On top of that has floated a wide range of emotions: anger, frustration, compassion, joy. A lot of remembered pain, but no hatred or bitterness. You're not angry with me, or even the unnamed superior who started all this."
Kirk nodded encouragement to continue, more than a little surprised at the level of honesty Graber dared to express.
"When you talked about the recording, I sensed you were remembering a similar situation in the past, and were amused by the similarity. But when you talked of the court-martial, I saw sadness in your eyes. A grieving, but still no anger or bitterness mixed with it. It's as if you already know, have known for some time, what the outcome will be. How is that possible?"
"It confirms something the Lord told me several months ago. I do not know the outcome; I merely suspect that it will not be favorable. I'm grieving the loss of friends I have known for years. But I'm grateful it's merely a separation, not loss through death."
"Why is there no bitterness?" Graber's attitude had become positively open.
"Because I trust the Lord. Let me explain it this way. Suppose you're stranded in a lifepod, out in the middle of nowhere, and down to your last tank of oxygen. Somebody comes along and says they've got oxygen, but the only way you can get it is by opening a valve. You have to decide whether to trust him or not. Trusting Jesus is similar, only most of us don't see it as a life-and-death decision.
"Let me get a little closer. Let's say this fist represents me." He put his closed hand, palm up, on Graber's desk. "I can go through life all closed in on myself. No one can see who I really am, and no one can hurt me. One day, the Lord came knocking and said, 'Jim, let Me in. I can help you.' I could have said, 'Oh, no; there's too much ugliness in here. You can't come in.' Because my heart was full of hatred, and it was tearing me apart. But the Lord said, 'Trust me; open your heart to Me, and I will clean all that out.'
"He's asking the same question of you today. Will you continue to live all closed in and self-protective? Or will you open your heart to Him," he opened his hand, "and let Him heal your soul-pain? It's your choice. Will you choose to trust Him?"
Suddenly, Graber was angry. "What do you know of my soul-pain?! And you're doing the same thing to me that you did to all the rest!"
"I know nothing of your pain, but Jesus does. He wants to heal it, if you'll let Him."
The openness of a moment ago had disappeared in the panic of a defensive reaction. "No! Stop it! I won't let you!"
Kirk removed his hand from the desk, sat back, and changed the subject. "For what purpose did you call me in here?"
Graber took a deep breath. "Two reasons: to find out what makes you tick. Secondly, to give you an opportunity to convince me not to turn in that recording."
"I appreciate your good intentions, but I have no wish to conceal the contents of that recording. Have you answered the first question to your satisfaction?"
"No, not really. I hear your words, but I don't understand them."
"I doubt that you can understand it fully unless you choose to trust Him. But I want you to know that I'm available anytime you want to ask a question. The door is always open. Secondly, no matter what you have done or might do in the future, you will never be my enemy. Will you remember those two things?"
Graber didn't acknowledge either one. "You may go now."