CHAPTER TEN

Lulu's POV

I opened my eyes slowly, the weight of exhaustion making it more difficult than normal. I heard the persistent beeping of the heart monitor near my bed and realized that it must not have been some awful nightmare. There really were gunmen who came into Maxie's wedding reception. I had, in fact, gone into premature labor. I was a mother.

I moved my hand to my abdomen for reassurance. The paramedics took the baby before I held her, which seemed almost cruel. How was I supposed to feel like a mom if I couldn't even touch my child? Most women probably didn't need that tangible proof. But I was not most women. I was a Spencer, which meant that I was genetically predetermined to have to work hard to be a good parent. Lucky managed to do it, so I would do my best to follow through.

I knew that I would not be doing it alone. Dante was an incredible man who would never take being a parent lightly. He was in it for the long run, so much so that he actually said the words marry me. Part of me was relieved that the paramedics wasted no time in loading me onto a stretcher, because I had no idea how to answer him.

I had not been discrete in my feelings about marriage. Nobody in my life had figured out how to make it work, and while for some people like Maxie and Olivia, the fear didn't stop them from going for it, I was definitely not like them. I was like Lucky and my dad. Their track record with marriage spoke for itself.

Still, I loved Dante with everything I had. We were bonded forever now through our daughter. But if he was worried about staying in her life, he had no reason. Married or not, we would never let any issues between us get in the way of raising a child. We both knew what it was like to have an absentee parent. We agreed that we did not want that for our baby.

I pulled myself to sit up straighter in bed when the door opened. Abby stepped inside with a large bouquet of daisies in her hands. "Are you up for company?"

"Please," I told her, "But please bring those flowers to someone who is sick. I'm fine."

"You gave birth on the floor of the hotel restaurant this morning, Lulu," she argued, placing the flowers on the ledge by the window before moving to the chair next to my bed. "Surrounded by gunmen, no less. I think you're worthy of some flowers."

"So it did really happen," I replied. "I was just sitting here debating whether or not it had been some awful dream."

"It's not all that awful when you get a beautiful baby girl at the end."

"Have you seen her? Is she alright? I just woke up. I haven't gotten an update."

"We ran into Sonny in the hallway. He said that the doctors are really amazed at how well she is doing."

"Thank God," I exhaled. "How is everyone else? The gunmen… are they?"

"Don't think about them," Abby answered, which told me that they were dead. "Max and Milo are both stable now."

"Good," I nodded, pulling the blankets up on the bed when I felt a chill. Thinking about the fallout of everything had not been my priority upon waking up, but there was a good chance that Dante could be on the hook for murder along with Sonny and Jason. We all knew it was defense, but Mac might not be so quick to jump to that conclusion. "What about Maxie? Her wedding didn't exactly turn out the way she hoped."

"Hey, stop worrying," Abby reassured me. "Matt finally convinced her that it was alright to go on their honeymoon. I promised her updates on you and the baby. Seriously, Lulu, all you should be thinking about is your new family."

"Dante proposed." The words came out of my mouth quicker than I realized what I was confiding in her.

"What? Oh my God, congratulations!"

"Not so fast. I didn't answer him," I informed her. "He said it right after the baby was born, and the paramedics got in the way so quickly."

"But you are going to tell him yes, right?" Abby questioned. "Lulu, you're not considering turning him down?"

"I don't know," I admitted softly. "I truly have no idea."

Dante's POV

Mesmerized. There was no other word for what that baby girl did to me. I looked past the tubes and the monitors and focused on her short, dark hair and ten tiny fingers. She had all of the best of me and Lulu. It seemed so strange to me that I woke up that morning without knowing what she looked like. I felt like I should have known that little girl my whole life.

"I'm sorry that you don't have a name yet," I told her, staring down into the incubator in front of me. "You know, it's just that we didn't know you'd be here so fast. But we'll figure it out soon, I promise."

"You listen to your dad. Because he's pretty good at keeping his promises," Michael remarked from behind me. I turned to my brother and embraced him, relieved that he made it through the ordeal of the day without taking matters into his own hands and landing himself back in Pentonville.

"Thanks for coming."

"Are you kidding? I've got four other uncles to outdo," he remarked, handing me a pink gift bag. "I had no choice but to get in here early and get a head start on spoiling my brand new little niece."

He moved past me and put his hand on the incubator. "She's so tiny."

"Four pounds, one ounce," I clarified. "Steve says that's really good for a preemie her age."

"So does she have to be in this thing long?"

"They're monitoring her for a little bit. Steve told me that we can probably hold her for short periods of time if she can keep her own body temperature warm enough. I guess it all depends on how strong she is."

"Well, I've met her parents, so I don't think you have much to worry about when it comes to strength."

I knew that Michael was trying to make me feel better, but he had no idea how much he was exaggerating. Strong was the last thing I was feeling. I should have been there sooner to notice Lulu's labor before it got too far. If nothing else, I should have found Theo Hoffman and stopped him.

"Did Jason tell you about our trip?"

Michael nodded, keeping his eye contact on the baby. "Dante, there was nothing you guys could have done. We'll find Theo."

"What if we don't? How am I supposed to keep Lulu and this baby safe if every single person in this town could be mixed up with Theo?"

"Brad was a bit of a shock," Michael admitted. "And it's more than a little unnerving that he's been filming Abby and Lulu for months. But I don't think you have to worry about everybody in Port Charles."

"Brad worked with Dillon, so who knows what he is up to," I argued. "And somebody on this hospital staff gave Lulu something to induce labor. So forgive me for being worried about my daughter being in here for weeks when we can't even trust the staff."

"Dad and Jason are not leaving here without someone they trust posted at the door," he reassured me. "And we'll talk to Dillon. You need to stop worrying about Theo for a few days and keep your energy focused on taking care of Lulu and…"

He looked at the tag on the incubator before continuing. "Baby girl Spencer."

"She is getting a name," I insisted.

"One that ends in Spencer? Or Falconeri? Or Spencer-Falconeri?"

Michael had been pretty vocal in his opposition to my putting the proposal on hold after we found out Lulu was pregnant. He was quick to tell me that I was irrational in trying to give Lulu more time to adjust. "I know where you're going with this and don't worry. My big mouth already took care of it."

When he finally looked at me, I could see the confusion in his face.

"I sort of asked Lulu to marry me right before the paramedics loaded her and the baby into squads to come here."

"Well, if you weren't going with the New York City plan you worked on for months, I guess that's a close second," he remarked sarcastically. "What did she say?"

"Nothing. She told me I should stay with the baby, and that was it. I wasn't even sure that she heard me, but she seemed pretty stunned."

"And let me guess," he continued, "You haven't seen her since?"

"Right."

I had actually been avoiding Lulu since we had arrived at the hospital. I didn't know if I should take it back or not. I really did want to marry her, but my timing was awful. We had just gone through this immensely emotional day and were worried about our daughter. Steve kept assuring me that the baby was going to be alright, but that relief was not going to solve all of the issues we were facing.

I was still unemployed, and after four men died at the hands of Jason and my father, I was probably going to have a much more difficult time getting my badge back. Our loft had burned down, so the few possessions we had left were staying with us in my mother's guest room. We had to purchase baby furniture and pay all of the medical bills that were piling up. A wedding at this point was out of the question.

"I'll sit with Baby Girl here," Michael told me. "Go talk to Lulu."

Lulu's POV

I pushed the tray of hospital food in front of me to the side. Epiphany insisted that I would not be allowed to get up until I got some food in me, but I did not consider orange Jello and chicken broth food. Besides, what mother would deprive a new mom like me from seeing her baby just because I didn't want to choke down hospital food?

"I had a feeling you weren't going to eat what they gave you here."

I felt a smile form on my lips when I looked to the door and saw Dante come in with a bag from Kelly's. He looked tired but content, which calmed my fears about the baby. If he had something bad to tell me, he would not be bringing food to soften the blow.

"French fries?" I asked hopefully, moving over in bed to clear space for him. He sat down and set the bag on my lap.

"Of course. I had to stuff the bag in my jacket to get it past Epiphany."

"Thanks. But I'm surprised you left the hospital. Is the baby…?"

"My ma has hardly left the NICU all day," he interrupted. "She ordered me to go get something to eat. I figured you were probably under the same restriction."

"Abby said that the doctors were optimistic about the baby. Is she healthy?"

"She's remarkable. She's four pounds, one ounce, but she is fighting so hard. Steve told me that she surpassed his expectation for a child born at 31 weeks."

I noticed how he became wistful when he talked about her. I could tell he was already wrapped around her little finger. It made me love him even more than I had the last time I saw him, which I was keenly aware, was when he proposed. I felt horrible that I had not given him an answer yet.

"Will you just eat one of those fries already so that I can sneak you out of here in good conscience?"

I obliged and ate more than a couple of the fries before we left my room and went to the NICU. We stood outside the door while Dante pulled a gown over his arms and handed one to me. I have no idea why it had not hit me before that moment, but I was suddenly terrified of going inside and seeing our daughter in a plastic box connected to tubes and machines. I choked back tears unsuccessfully before having difficulty breathing altogether.

"Hey, don't do that," Dante soothed, putting a hand on my cheek to steady my gaze. "I know this is not how we pictured it, but she's our daughter, Lulu. She is going to get bigger and stronger, and then we will take her home."

"I-I can't," I shook my head, tears now pouring down my cheeks. "I can't be strong for her. I'm not strong. If I were strong, s he would not be here yet. I should have been able to stop the labor. I could have at least admitted to Steve sooner that I was having contractions."

Instead of arguing with me, Dante took my hand and pulled me into a quieter hallway. He kissed my forehead, then my cheeks, then my lips. I could taste my tears, but that did not stop me from letting him kiss me long enough to distract me from my fears. When he finally released me, his lips were swollen.

"Wha-"

"Lulu, I watched you earlier today going through hell. I don't know anybody else who could have done that and made it look so easy. I love you because you are the strongest person I know. Now put on that gown so that you can meet our baby girl."

Still in a fog from the kiss, I followed his instructions and let him lead me into the NICU. The moment I laid eyes on her, I felt stupid for panicking. She was breathtaking. She had Dante's dark complexion and my nose. "We did this. We made her."

"Yes we did."

I spent several minutes quietly taking her in. There were tubes hooked up to her mouth and arms, but it was not as terrible as I had pictured it. I counted her fingers and toes, relieved to find ten of each.

"Can we hold her?"

"Hopefully soon," Dante answered. When I looked up at him, he was not looking at the baby, rather staring at me.

"What?" I asked softly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Dante's POV

"I just… I thought I knew what it was to love you, but it's so much deeper now," I admitted. I had been trying to figure out why I picked such a ridiculous time to ask her to marry me, but at that moment, I got it. Watching Lulu with our daughter was so amazing, it was almost surreal.

"We should probably pick out a name," Lulu continued, responding to my statement by blushing. "Do you have any ideas?"

I was a little disappointed that she had yet to acknowledge my proposal, but I was not about to bring it up. We were both on emotional overload, and as much as I meant it, I refused to push it. If Lulu wanted to marry me, she would have said something. At least I assumed she would.

"Unfortunately, not really," I conceded. "Do you?"

"I was kind of hoping that looking at her would help, but the only thing I know for sure is that I don't want to mess it up. What goes with Falconeri?"

"Are you sure you want it to be Falconeri?" I questioned, a little surprised that it didn't require more conversation.

"You're her father," she answered simply. "It's only right. Besides, it's not fair to make a kid hyphenate their name."

"True," I agreed. "So for now, it's Baby Girl Falconeri. I'll ask my mom to bring us some of those baby name books. I'm sure she's already purchased dozens."

"Thanks," she smiled at me before sitting down next to the incubator and putting her fingers against the plastic. I pulled a chair up next to her and put my hand over hers, curling my fingers between hers.

"We didn't find Theo," I admitted. It was not the most appropriate time to bring it up, but I needed to get all of the cards out on the table. "And I know that he wants to take her to get revenge on my father. Lulu, I swear to both of you that I won't let that happen."

"I know," she told me simply, leaning her head on my shoulder. "All we need to focus on now is getting our baby girl healthy and bringing her home."

I wished that it were really that simple.