Chapter 10: Connections
Renji followed Byakuya through the gardens and out the back gate, then the two turned right and followed a winding trail that led to the top of a large waterfall. The water spilled over a tall cliff and rained down into a huge blue lake that was surrounded by open grassland. Byakuya stopped at the top and sat down beneath a young sakura tree. Renji sat in front of him and gathered his thoughts, wondering how to begin the conversation that both knew was necessary.
"I'm not quite certain where to begin," Byakuya said, looking out over the cliff and watching the long grasses wave in the wind, "Our trip to the spirit dimension and our soul bonding happened very suddenly and it feels like only now that we've gotten an opportunity to step back and begin to survey the damage."
"Yeah," Renji agreed, following the noble's gaze, "Things are pretty jumbled. But even so…I think this isn't completely unworkable. I mean, we have worked well together in our squad. We had to learn to do that. We'll learn to do this too. I think that, knowing there's no way out of it, we'll find a way to make it work."
"It won't be easy," Byakuya said softly, "Settling into noble life when you are not accustomed to it can be difficult, even when you choose it…and you did not choose this…any of it…"
"Yeah, I was pretty much dragged in, kicking and screaming," Renji said, managing a smile.
"I am sorry that I did nothing to make the transition easier for you. I do see now how my unwillingness to share what I knew and my choice to absent myself make things more difficult. As I told you, I did think at the time that you would benefit from some familiarity in your surroundings when you woke…and I was attempting to give you some breathing space. It wasn't my intent to make you more uncomfortable."
Renji sighed and moved closer, enjoying the warmth that radiated between them.
"I guess I can understand your thinking, but I do hope you don't plan on just making decisions like that without even talking to me. I would like to have some say about things that affect my life."
Byakuya nodded.
"Understandable, but you have to realize that being clan leader, I have been trained to act without consulting others on everything. I am accustomed to leading and not having to argue the details. Clan leaders are expected to lead assertively and the members of the household to follow. Yet even in that definition, there is room for me to consult you about the things that most affect you…and I will do that. Just be aware that all such exchanges must be handled privately."
"Kind of like when we're in the squad office and have our differences. We air them privately so that I say what I need to say without interfering with the perception of you as the leader."
"Exactly," Byakuya said quietly, "Though I lead, there are balances to my power, the greatest of which is the Kuchiki council of elders."
"You mean the bunch of old guys that tries to tell you what to do?" Renji asked.
"They are responsible for making certain that the clan leader, while being in control of the clan, does not dishonor it with poor decisions or unacceptable behavior. We live by strict rules and the clan leader especially must obey them…because if I do not, I cannot expect that anyone else will."
"But you've gone up against them before, right? I mean, you married Hisana against their wishes…and you adopted Rukia too…"
"I did those things before my ascent to clan leader, Renji. And while I have led, I have been careful to remain within bounds, so as to present a united front, aligned with the council. It is important that our clan show its strength, or others will be quick to take advantage of our weaknesses."
"Huh," Renji huffed softly, "It sounds like how we act in front of our enemies…the hollows, I mean. Always showing our strength, not letting them see any weaknesses. Are clan relations really that adversarial?"
"They can be," Byakuya acknowledged, "Remember that the Kuchiki clan is the most powerful of the four great noble houses. But when you sit on a pedestal like that, you should expect that there will be those who will try to unseat you. It is the way of things."
"So…what do you do when another clan challenges you?"
"Most often, such challenges are predictable. If it seems we are to be challenged, often a preemptive strike is necessary to warn them off. And if that isn't enough, stronger warnings must be issued and the clan must stand ready to defend its honor, even if that carries us into physical combat."
"Man…I had no idea there was so much posturing and infighting," Renji mused, "Looking from the Rukongai, you don't see any of that. You just see a bunch of really pretty rich people, who talk fancy and get a lot of respect from everyone…not to put anyone down, but I guess I see why the clan leader always leads Squad Six. It kinda uses the same philosophy…but doesn't it wear on you that you can't let down and relax? You know, you always have to worry about saying the right things and not stepping on the wrong toes. I'd get dizzy dancing around like that, Captain…ah…Byakuya."
Byakuya graced him with a small smile.
"That, Renji, is where subtlety enters the picture. You see, we may be expected to follow the rules, to act certain ways when others are about, but when we are alone, you may speak freely. And when there are no duties for me to see to with the clan or our division, we will spend some of that free time together…hopefully enjoying the relaxation we have to forgo everywhere else."
"Can I ask you a question?" Renji asked.
"Of course."
"How did you learn all of this stuff? Because I've only been here a few days, but I've already encountered about a million rules and ways of doing things…I mean, are nobles just born knowing this stuff?"
Byakuya shook his head.
"Normally, our parents and sometimes specialists and mentors instruct us."
"Like Yoruichi instructed you when you were a kid?"
"More like tormented…" muttered Byakuya discontentedly, "but yes, she was one of my mentors. My grandfather was another. My parents, unfortunately, weren't present to assist me in understanding. My mother died bearing me, and my father died while on the battlefield, while I was still a boy. When a future clan leader loses his parents, it is the older relatives and the council who assume control of the heir's upbringing."
Renji glanced at Byakuya and sighed.
"Must not have been easy having people telling you what to do all of the time. But you are so disciplined…"
He broke off at the sight of an uncharacteristic quirking of Byakuya's lips.
"What?" he asked, "You mean, you haven't always been like this?"
"Think about it, Renji. I married a commoner. I defied the council again, bringing Rukia into the family. But even before that, half the councilors and most of the family thought I would never settle enough to lead. They respected my power from the beginning, but I was of rather high spirits. My grandfather understood, of course, but he made certain that I was curbed of those more liberal tendencies."
"Huh," Renji said, shaking his head ruefully, "Sorry…can't picture that at all…only having seen the way you are now. It doesn't bode well for me, does it?"
He caught himself as Byakuya bit his lip, trying not to smile.
"Ah…sorry, Byakuya. I didn't mean it that way, really," he said quickly, "It's just that I never saw you except as the dutiful captain and clan leader. The idea of you rebelling…but then…you did save Rukia in the end. As much as they made you conform to their rules, they didn't change who you are inside…they only made it so you had to hide a lot of it."
Now Byakuya smiled.
"Exactly, Renji," he said, turning his head to observe the redhead for a moment, "And you, I think, will learn to strike a balance here, knowing when you must respect the rules and when you have leave to relax and lower your guard. I actually chose Michio to attend you, because having come from the Rukongai himself and having to settle in as he did, he will be likely to work well apprising you of the rules and expectations as you go along."
"Hold on for a sec," Renji said, frowning, "I have to ask. Is it really necessary for the attendants to wash us? I mean…I guess it's not a bad thing, but I kind of enjoy relaxing in the shower and singing or whatever, and I like bathing myself. Do I really have to let that kid wash my ass for me? Really?"
Byakuya smirked.
"Only the high ranking nobles have personal attendants who see to them so thoroughly. It is actually considered an honor, in that you are a close relation to a clan leader, and therefore given more in the way of privilege."
"So you let Torio handle your…uh, bathing?"
"I have been honored with having a personal attendant to see to that since birth."
"So…you've never bathed yourself?" Renji asked in dismay.
"Come now, Renji," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "When I am on missions and away from home in situations that are likely to become dangerous, I leave Torio behind, of course…and while he is not with me, I would certainly never allow myself to deteriorate simply due to his absence. I sometimes bathe myself."
"But you like them bathing you?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes.
"I hardly notice anymore," Byakuya explained, "As a child, I used to run away from them and hide in the forest back there…or come out here and slip into the cave where the hot spring is down below here. Sometimes it would take them hours to find me."
Renji laughed softly.
"That is so unlike my captain…"
"You know less about your captain than you think, Renji. You may be able to read my battle strategy like a book…to anticipate every flash step, turn and strike, but now that you have become my spouse, it is necessary that we penetrate deeper into our knowledge of each other. And as we do that, there is much that each of us will learn about the other. I know you as a subordinate and a fighter, but I know little of your life before that…only that I saw you that once at the shinigami academy, the day we asked Rukia to join our family. I have as much to learn about you as you do about me."
Renji sighed and leaned back against the sakura tree, thinking.
"So…you said there was a hot spring down there?" he asked.
Byakuya nodded.
"Well, if you don't have any clan meetings or other responsibilities for the moment, could we go down there together? I think I'd like to see it."
"Very well," Byakuya said, standing, "But the approach is a little tricky. You drop off the edge of the cliff and there are five touch points, then a very small trail to the right before the bottom. Follow me."
He took a running step and launched himself over the edge of the cliff. Renji jumped down after, watching as the noble's practiced feet lightly found each touch point and he swept down and onto the barely visible trail below. Renji's descent was more shaky and he nearly missed the last touch point, but in the end, he stood on the trail next to Byakuya, waiting as the noble led him back behind the waterfall and into a cave he would have missed if it hadn't been pointed out to him.
Inside the cave, Renji stopped, staring.
"Captain…"
The sloping walls of the cave dripped water and sparkled with mineral deposits. Small kido lamps had been strategically placed to make them sparkle even more and also inside the hot spring to light it. Hooks had been placed in the wall beside the hot spring and fresh towels and yukatas hung on them.
"That's Byakuya," the noble corrected him.
"Yeah…sorry," Renji said, still admiring the cave, "I was distracted. This is really something!"
"Hmmm…I'm glad that some part of your new existence is enjoyable for you. You have free use of this place anytime, Renji. It is especially pleasant after swordplay and in the winter."
"I can imagine," Renji said, smiling, "So…can we go in?"
"Of course," Byakuya said, reaching for the tie at his waist.
The two removed their clothing and stepped down into the steaming water. They settled onto a bench seat that had been carved into the stone and leaned back against the sloping side. From that position, Renji saw suddenly where lighting had been placed above the pool to illuminate the mineral formations above the pool, which made leaning back in the water and looking up even better.
"Who put in all of the lights?" the redhead asked, sinking down into the water and gazing upward.
"I did. I am really the only one who comes here. It used to be a sort of hideout…I imagine that's still an accurate description. It is certainly a place to escape to in those times when noble life becomes a burden."
"Well…" said Renji, finding Byakuya's hand beneath the surface of the water, "It already seems less burdensome. It kind of helps to know that following all of the rules and stuff is something you had to get used to too. I thought maybe this all seemed perfectly natural and comfortable to you from the start. It took me by surprise, learning different."
He sighed and moved closer to Byakuya, resting his head on the noble's shoulder.
"I guess we're not as different as I thought we were…but, and I hope you won't take this the wrong way, Byakuya, because I don't mean it in a bad way…I still don't see why the spirit king chose us and tossed us together like this."
"He told me that it had to do with the levels of our power," Byakuya offered, "and he said that we had a connection."
"A connection?" repeated Renji, shaking his head, "I wonder. I mean, we worked well together as fighters lining up against hollows, but it's not like we were all that close…or that either of us was interested in the other."
"I think our connection must have been more of the subtle type for us not to have sensed it."
"I still am not so sure I sense a connection all our own. What's there now is just the connection between captain and subordinate. We are having to really work at our roles as marrieds, Byakuya. Nothing there seems to be natural."
"Perhaps it doesn't seem that way," said the noble, sinking deeper into the water and bringing Renji down with him, "but I think things will become more clear as we go. For now, I think we should focus on growing more comfortable with each other and getting to know each other's intricacies. Whatever did or didn't exist before hardly matters. We have to find a way to move forward. We haven't a great deal of choice in that, so it makes sense to take steps forward, rather than to look backwards."
"Well," said Renji, grinning, "I think we've made a good start on that today. I'm already getting pretty hooked on kissing you. I've only ever been with women, but I don't think that's the only reason I feel different when we kiss. Maybe there is something to the king's saying we were already connected. Maybe we had all we needed to be lovers…but it just never occurred to us to look for that in each other. But now that we are…I am feeling something…"
"I am as well," agreed Byakuya, turning his head to meet Renji's lips for several slow kisses, "but we should continue to move forward slowly, I think. We were bonded and married too suddenly. We have time now to slow things and grow into our life together."
"Hmmm…" Renji sighed, nudging the noble's head back and making a line of kisses up his throat to his earlobe.
Byakuya closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle pleasuring of his skin and feeling a strong pang of guilt as he remembered the elders' plans. He had already learned that Renji didn't enjoy surprises of that kind. And perhaps trying to handle it quietly and trying to spare Renji the distress was not the right thing. He pondered the thought carefully as Renji's mouth continued its gentle assault on his throat, then moved on to his chest.
He's becoming more affectionate…less angry. I hate to cause more anger…but something in me tells me that I shouldn't keep this from him any longer…
"Byakuya, is something wrong?" Renji asked, looking into his eyes.
"Renji…there's something I need to tell you…"
He stopped as a hell butterfly flitted into the cave and hovered in front of them.
Lord Byakuya, Nori's solemn voice said, Council requires your input on several matters concerning your wedding reception. Councilors Arisu and Leiko await you in the council meeting chambers. They will be spending several hours planning before we return to council for a late session this afternoon.
"Wedding reception, huh?" said Renji, looking up at Byakuya through wet strands of red hair, "sounds like fun…but kinda after the fact, you know? By the time we go to that thing, we'll have been married for almost a month."
"It's really more of an introduction to the sub families. You have quite a few clan members who are very interested in meeting you."
"Is that good or bad?" Renji asked, frowning.
"Hmmm…I imagine that waits to be seen. Would you like to accompany me to the council chambers?"
Renji shook his head, laughing.
"I think I'd rather face down your ban kai. I'll go back and rest a bit. It's the first day I've really been out of bed since I got sick…plus all of this hot water is making me sleepy. I'll go back and let Michio fuss over me for a while and take a nap. Let me know when you get back."
Byakuya nodded and sank into Renji's mouth for several deep, sensuous kisses, then lifted himself out of the water, dried off and dressed. As he turned to leave, Renji climbed out of the water and started to dress as well. Byakuya walked to the cave entrance, pausing for a moment and looking back, thinking…
I have to tell him soon. He deserves to know. After I get back, then…after he is rested. I'll make myself say the words, no matter how angry they will make him. It's only right, after all…and he is starting to see that we are more alike than he knew. He can trust me to be a source of support as he settles into noble life. But that trust needs to be respected and honored. I have to trust him to work with me to diffuse the situation. After all, this is about both of us…not just me.
"Byakuya?" said Renji, breaking into his thoughts.
"Yes?"
"Tonight…" he said tentatively, "would you like me to join you in your room?"
Byakuya couldn't hold back the slow smile that crept onto his face.
"I would like that, Renji. Tonight, then," he said softly, then he turned and flash stepped away.